To say this winter has been rough is like saying Idris Elba is a little bit handsome. NAWL! It’s a gross understatement! This has been the first time I’ve seriously thought about breaking up with Chicago via a post-it note by the night stand in the middle of the night. I’m so OVER the cold weather and the snow, lawd. The fact that the wind chill was -52 degrees like 3 weeks ago. That shouldn’t e’em be legal.
Who pissed Mother Nature off and ate its last bowl of rice? One of you drank all of the milk and put the empty container right back into the fridge because she is PISSED!
It’s “shaving my legs is officially out because I need the extra fur for warmth and you won’t judge me” weather (you know skinny girl problems are real). It’s that “You want me to come out the house? It better be worth it!” weather. I am so anti-outside right now. That is the type of weather where when you breathe, you feel like you just snorted coke because your whole brain is gon be like “WTF IS THIS?”
There is no comfort that everywhere else around the country, the weather is acting a complete fool too. NO comfort. Although we’re all in this together.
As you know by now, Atlanta got proverbially punched in the face this week with weather it was not used to AT ALL! And it wreaked havoc in the city. The snow basically shut it down, some people were stuck in their cars for over a day and kids had to spend the night in school. Folks compared it to the Walking Dead.
Someone (@DontBlowMeBruh) took to Instagram to say a good word to the Lord about these conditions and their prayer had me laughing until I cried.
“Father for I know where the equator is” was the first thing that took me CLEAN out. Because surely, the world is topsy turvy when Alaska’s looking like the tropics compared to ATL. Something ain’t right.
And then “I think the blind man who you made see is playing with the thermostat. Or maybe y’all have a new girl working in the weather office.” *howls* Heaven got a new intern who pressed the wrong button and she needs to get sufficiently trained because we are outchea suffering!
Priceless. Just so damb priceless! Thank you, Brother Troy! This reminds of the prayer for Teef Keef (you have to read that. HAVE TO) that had me unable to behave for a good 3 hours. I could NOT stop laughing.
The moral of this story is that we’re all super sick of winter. I’m so doggone over it that I just wanna move somewhere and open up a shack on someone’s beach somewhere selling coconuts and Chinese slippers. And to think. We still got 2 more months of this (at least).
Saints and aints, how bad has this winter been for you? Are you ready to quit and become a hermit too? Did you pray for this snow? If you did, I really wish your remote control batteries always run out when it’s on the infomercial channel. I mean it. (-__-)