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Nigerian People are Prayer Warriors and These Videos Have Me Howling

I’m getting ready for my trip to Nigeria all this week so I won’t have a chance to write a lotta posts. BUT foolery still surrounds me and I must share it with y’all.

Us Nigerian people are a passionate lot, and we love us some Jesus (well, those who are Christians do). You haven’t heard prayer until you’ve heard a Naija person pray and give God the glory. We cover everything with the blood of Jesus and we take it above and beyond often. We take praise and worship very seriously because Christ is our patronus.

@Aphricanape06 on Instagram posted the video below and blessed me with hilarity on today (yes, ON today). I’ve watched it no less than 10 times.

“Every computerized snake. Every elongated cockroach.” I AM CRYINNNNGGGG!!! Lmaaaoooo! Real tears are pouring from my eyes. It’s funny because it’s true. This fervent prayer is rebuking everything in the way. Now, I’m not sure what a computerized snake is. I keep picturing the snake game that used to come with all our cellphones where screens were still in gray. But I won’t question it.

And then there’s part 2.

“The witches and wizards have failed successfully.” *tears* SEE VOCABULARY! HOO MY GAWD! I am unable to stop laughing. And I must adopt this phrase. Whenever someone does something foolish, I will say they “failed successfully.” It is done.

But yeah. This is why sometimes you don’t even wanna tell your parents that something is wrong because you don’t wanna be subjected to 15 minutes of revival when you’re on the bus stop. All you wanna do is commute and you’re on the phone tryna whisper “AMEN.” But then you hear “I DON’T HEAR YOUR AMEN!” so you shift in your seat and try not to disturb the entire bus.

If you tell someone you’re cold, the prayer you might get could go like this (according to my girl @Ayodeli):

“May the God of holy fire SET ABLAZE any manner of snow, ice, frozen precipitation, subzero moisture IN THE MATCH-LESS-NAME-OF-JESUS!”

LMAO! And AMEN O!!! I receive it in HiS MIGHTY NAME!

I love us. We are so extra in every way (sometimes to our own detriment though but that’s for another day). How many times have you watched these videos? I’m probably up to 20 by now.

Shoutout to Aphricanape06! I am now on his IG watching ALL the videos.

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33 Comments

  1. February 11, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    *collapses* Yes Lawwwd!

  2. Afrostyling
    February 11, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    I still remember the day my dad called me while i was at a restaurant and at the end of our convo, he proceeded to pray for me because how can a Nigerian parent end a convo without the blood of Jesus? my mom still covered me with the blood of Jesus this morning. So there i was saying amin jesu! amen! blood of jesus!..in a restaurant!

  3. February 11, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    For the last few weeks I’ve been obsessed with Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (blame Beyonce) and have been devouring all of her books. Right now I’m reading Purple Hibiscus, and every time the father says grace it lasts at least 20 minutes and I’ve been like – huh? is that a typo? I didn’t know this about Nigerians and praying! Now I get it!

  4. Randomly Jazzy
    February 11, 2014 at 1:45 pm

    Thank you for directing me to his IG because I’m literally over here choking @ the never correct African parents video. #everlastingbastad lol

    • February 11, 2014 at 2:30 pm

      OMG! I just watched this one and I very nearly choked on my Mentos! Amazing!

    • Bukky
      February 11, 2014 at 2:46 pm

      #everlastingbastad wins it all for me. I was in TEARS at the driving video.

  5. TeeKay
    February 11, 2014 at 1:49 pm

    This is so TRUE, esp with my mom calling me at work to pray for me. God bless our parents for real! : )

  6. Peaceful
    February 11, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    Aw, shucks, nah.Nice. I see him showing FLOMO (Florida Memorial University) some love. He still should’ve been a Rattler though, lol.

    • February 12, 2014 at 4:08 pm

      haha thanks but no thanks…LION forever lmao

  7. Bukky
    February 11, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    If not for the prayers of our parents, aunts, uncles, pastors, grandparents…CHAI!! I’ve been out with friends and have had to go to the corner for “teleprayer.” Blood of Jesus!

  8. Layo
    February 11, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    Gotta love Nigerian parents. My mum was with my brother and I a while ago and I had recently just annoyed him so I proceeded to ask him if he was still “mad”..girrrrlll. Mother: “My child is not mad in the mighty name of Jesus, sanity and peace of mind is his in Jesus name”

  9. TheMrs
    February 11, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    LMBO!!!! I’m not Nigerian, but I can relate. This had me dying!

  10. Vee
    February 11, 2014 at 8:50 pm

    Amen, amen and amen. My job was so bad by the time i retired the white folks joined us in prayer before meetings. Sista Boss lady laid it down with de blood. Thank you chile for your service of bringing us joy and laughter. Be safe in your travels in de name of the Christ Jesus name, amen. Much love!

  11. BE
    February 11, 2014 at 11:51 pm

    Ain’t that the truth. Tell you parents you have a headache and their response is “No oooo. It’s your enemy that would have headache. Oya, go and anoint your head with anointing oyel” and I am here eyeing 2 500mg of extra strength Tylenol.

  12. Vaalentia
    February 12, 2014 at 7:34 am

    I’m Kenyan and I can so relate to this! My mum still covers all of us with the blood of Jesus “from the top of our heads to the soles of our feet”. My grandmother would pray until the food she was blessing went stone cold.

    One time she prayed for my best friend and I and “rebuked the spirit of singlehood”. We tried so hard to remain solemn while we cackled inside…

  13. Neetro
    February 12, 2014 at 10:56 am

    They rebuked Harry Potter to hell!

  14. February 12, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    *DEAD. I’m definitely using “failed successfully.”

  15. February 12, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    I can’t stop laughing. I’m in tears!

  16. February 12, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    Lawdy lawdy…Computerized snake fa. Loool. But, it’s not only Nigerians oh.

    My friend overheard her neighbour praying and the person was like “Holy Spirit!!! Bone dem…Bone dem”
    Well, maybe Holy Spirit was the nickname of her friend that came visiting sha. Who knows.

  17. February 12, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    Yo, your girl Ayodeli need to keep on praying that prayer of hers for the entire Eastern Seaboard with this winter snow foolishness!!

    “May the God of holy fire SET ABLAZE any manner of snow, ice, frozen precipitation, subzero moisture IN THE MATCH-LESS-NAME-OF-JESUS!”

  18. February 12, 2014 at 11:46 pm

    My all time favorite Nigerian prayer video 😀

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIx98IIrQlE

    • vanessa197676
      February 14, 2014 at 7:09 pm

      That video is amazing.

  19. February 14, 2014 at 6:51 pm

    Ha. Failed Successfully…that’s right up there with military intelligence.

  20. February 16, 2014 at 9:45 am

    “Every computerized snake. Every elongated cockroach.”

    “The witches and wizards have failed successfully.

    LMAO,DEAD!

    Heh! See story for town…Nawa oh… I’m gonna send this to my best friend like now!
    Thanks Luvie!

  21. T
    February 16, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    Lisssssten……I WISH I had these videos to break me into all things Nigerian when I first married my husband 11 years ago! I was raised in (a pentecostal) church & had a PRAYING Mama, but that in NO WAY SHAPE FORM OR FASHION prepared me for the 38 minute prayers my in-laws break out on me WHENEVA I answer my phone!!! Love ’em SO MUCH, but my father-in-law (who’s a pastor btw) will plead THE BLOOD in a minute! These videos are so on point!

    • Maxine Shaw, attorney-at-LOL
      July 28, 2014 at 4:22 am

      I grew up Catholic. Salvation in 55 minutes or less, or the next lifetime is free. Maaaaaaaan, I was at a Nigerian wedding and I swear by every elongated cockroach that I lost all concept of time. This was an out-of-body experience for all the wrong reasons. I didn’t think anybody could out-pray southern Baptists, but I swear by every elongated cockroach that there was sunlight by the time that prayer was done.

  22. February 19, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    Luvvie, I saw this video a couple of days ago and was literally rolling. You should totally checkout @iamdulo, @wowoboyz, @chief_obi and @funny_african_pics if you haven’t come across their videos on IG. I promise you, this you just posted will seem like child’s play.

    Away from that, I had a great time at the #SMWBlogging class today. Kudos to you as I learnt a couple of helpful tips. Stay blessed!

  23. February 19, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    Heard you speak at the social media week event yesterday “#smwblogging class”. you were awesome :D.

  24. ojo ote
    February 25, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    That was hilarious!

  25. Kai
    March 11, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    DWL!!!! This was sooooo funny! It is sooooo true. Heyyyyy! lol

  26. May 28, 2014 at 7:13 pm

    I’m still trippin’ off of “every elongated cockroach” the hell?? LOL

  27. […] and burdened. i hadn’t written or meditated in a while. i tried to meditate tonight and failed successfully. but  did eke out a few sentences. it’s a start. i really have to learn to run my […]

  28. April 13, 2015 at 6:04 am

    Love these videos, keep ’em coming!