Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: Scandal Episode 314 Recap
We’ve all been playing the guessing game since last week to figure out who got shot on last week’s episode of Scandal. Some theories:
* Quinn or Charlie shot the two people who were with David and James and then Jake shot the assassin to save them
* Jake shot David
* Jake shot James
Wells, Shonda ain’t make us wait long to find out what happened because in the first 30 seconds of the episode, we saw it.
Who Got Shot? – James. Jake offs the two journalists, and James takes off running and he shoots him in the head, right in the street. Cyrus’ husband falls. Command turns his gun on David and tells him he’s smart enough to STFU and stay alive. James gone. Our dude is dead.
The next morning, the scene of James’ death is roped off and David Rosen is on to take over the case as the U.S. District Attorney that he is. The cause of death is being set up as a carjacking that went awry.
Cyrus is in his office shell-shocked as Liv tries to get his aide to take care of him. But he himself is in shambles, over James’ death.
The Meeting –Cyrus flashbacks to when he first met a reporter named James Novak from the Boston Dispatch. He was trying to get some scoop on Governor Grant’s presidential platform. Cy ain’t tryna give him any scoop, but he does shade him when he looks at him up and down and advices him to dress more professional but James gives it right back and says “You think I’m gonna take fashion advice from a guy with a neck-beard?” LMAO!
Campaign Pause – Gov. Nichols, President Ghost and Mellie are in the Oval Office when Liv joins them. They’re concerned for Cyrus but Mellie is all “so we campaigning or nah?” Fitz tells her to have some damb respect and VP Sally calls to say her team will suspend campaigning too. LIES AND FALSITIES!
No Carjacking – As the emergency press secretary takes the podium at the White House, Olivia realizes that Vanessa Chandler was missing. It tips her off that James was probably NOT the victim of some random carjacking. His car wasn’t e’em that fly. Abby flies out the OPA office to find David and he dismisses her as she tries to tell him he was done in by a hit man.
Olivia calls Jake and says she suspects this was a cold-blooded murder and he verbally pets her on the head as he buries the other 2 people he killed the same time in a grave. AGAIN: COLD-BLOODED! I ain’t gon lie, doe. Evil Jake from State Farm got way more swag than the Jake that was being punked left and right.
Thug Misses – Maya Wallace (aka Maya Lewis aka Mama Pope) is chilling in a hotel when Adnan Salif hands her a duffle bag full of cash. This is Maya’s retainer for some shifty job, which seems to be the facilitation of terrorist activity. Apparently, Mama Pope ain’t in the business of being a terrorist herself even though she’s a goon in her own right. “I don’t make bombs. I make money.” – Maya.
Her and Diamond from Player’s Club got something in common. Adnan ain’t liking the idea of getting someone else involved though but she better not question the one in front of her, lest she wants to find herself scalped.
Cyrus is lashing out at his aide, and he is losing it! I no longer think he had anything to do with James being shot because he is really affected by it. He’s mad because VP Sally is going behind them to get the support of a major gun lobbyist. Sneaky ginger. Cy might be sad but he is NOT gonna let that happen and he must work.
Meeting on the Bus – Flashback to the campaign trail bus, James sits next to Cyrus and asks why the Governor hasn’t taken a stance about marriage equality. Cy tells him that he’s not gay but James notices that he’s shaved that beard of his. He tells him “you do look a lot better without it.”
Broken Safe – Olivia thinks ally and Leo Bergen might have had something to do with James’ death but Huck shoots that theory down. She tells him to check her safe and he realizes it’s been tampered with. He had cameras installed on the safe and it’s pretty safe (ha!) to guess that he’ll know it’s Quinn who did it.
Suspect Serving – Quinn and Charlie bring in some dude named Lance McCollum and he’s being asked to serve his country. How? By having him be the prime suspect in the shooting of James Novak. How is David gon be able to really arrest someone random for this death? Y’all know he got a conscience. He says he wants to wait for ballistics evidence to come in before making official arrest.
Defiance Deeds – We flashback to right before a Grant event in Defiance, Ohio and Cyrus is practicing his speech. James walks up and says “Cyrus, I like you. I’m attracted to you. Now that you’re divorced, I wanna date you.” I coulda made a dirty dessert joke right there but I’ma leave it alone. He starts to walk away and Beene grabs him and they shared their first kiss. AAWWW!
Grounded Gear – Sally and Leo are headed to go see the gun lobbyist when they get a call that Air Force 2 got grounded. Cy worked that magic! But he gets Mellie and Governor Nichols to go. They end up in Texas shooting guns and having way too much fun. I like where this is going.
Gunned Down Goon – Maya and Adnan are meeting with two thugs but Maya is disappointed that her main goon Ivan ain’t there. She quickly takes one of them clean out with one shot and she tells the other to relay a message that she ain’t about this bald-headed games life.
Bad Things, Good People – Huck tells Olivia that Quinn is the person who broke into the safe, showing her picture proof. She’s basically the worst spy ever. Liv realizes that B613 got all the tea so she shows up in Jake’s office. “You make bad things happen to good people. WHO MADE YOU DO THIS?” “I AM COMMAND, OLIVIA! WHO DO YOU THINK?”
He petrifies her by admitting that he pulled that trigger himself to kill James. Oooo chile! You rolling into Command’s office yelling and demanding answers when he is literally above your pay grade. Girl STAHP.
Stood Up – Cyrus enters his office to dozens of flower bouquets. Flashback time and it’s President Ghost’s Inauguration night. James is upset that he bought a tuxedo and Cyrus ain’t e’em taking him to the ball because he doesn’t want people to know he’s dating a man. “I am not some dirty little secret. I am your boyfriend.“
Adnan’s Unask – Adnan walks up to Harrison in a parking garage and asks if Liv knows anyone at the Justice Department. When he asks why, a car screeches past and she backs away and tells him never mind. Hmmm…
Use Him – Jake shows up to David’s office to ask why the suspect he’s basically handed him is still not arrested. He wants him to remember why he is still allowed to be alive. OOP.
Needing Dad, Reading Liv – Olivia has Rowan meet her on their favorite park bench and she says she needs her dad right then, not the Grand Goon. What’s bothering her? Well, for starters, none of the men in her life have behavior. They’re so unable to act right. ALL’EM! “I don’t know what the point is. Of this democracy, if there are no white hats. If no one is worth saving, what is the point?”
“183. That is the number of people I am responsible for killing. Not the number of people I’ve killed… When you become Command, you are the one giving orders… you become the hand of God. 183. I know all of the names. I know how old they were. If they had children. If they would be missed. I never made the decision lightly. I always suffered a bit with each one. It mocks me. It stains me. It never leaves me. I am responsible. So whatever you think of Jake, however you want to punish him… Being the hand of God is already the worst punishment IN THE WORLD… EVERYONE is worth saving. Even the monsters. Even the demons. In the face of darkness, YOU drag everyone into the light. THAT is the point. THAT is the point of YOU.”
He says that, drops the mic and leaves Olivia and her struggle tears alone on the bench. How do you simultaneously slay and give hope at the same time? CAN’T NOBODY DO IT LIKE PAPA POPE!
No Thanks – The gun lobbyist tells Andrew and Mellie that he’s rolling with Sally but FLOTUS asks if he would change his mind if the President speaks out in support of the 2nd amendment and he agrees. When Nichols calls Ghostie to tell him the good news and to say that it was his wife’s doing, the President’s petty ass refuses to say thanks to her. Meanwhile, Cy tells him to do the opposite and use James’ shooting to say he’s in favor of gun control. “Look who you’re up against. Sally Langston, who might love guns more than she loves Jesus.” Cyrus might be mourning but he’s still a shade savant.
Dating Divulging – Day 5 into the Grant Presidency, Cyrus walks into the Oval Office and tells his boss-friend that he is dating someone. President Ghost asks “wanna tell me something else bout this person?” And all Cyrus does is admit that he’s in love. Fitz clearly knows but he gives his friend the space to walk out.
I really think their bromance is adorabo.
Purple People – Governor Nichols and Mellie are dronk and he tells her “It’s a shame that he can’t see you the way I do.” And then they play tongue hockey and the clothes fly clean off. SHOUTOUT TO MELLIE FOR FINALLY GETTING SOME! And for that purple underwear set that matched her dress. That is impressive. Owwww!
Admitting to Abby – Abby rolls into her boo’s house and finds him laying down. She tells him she knows something really bad happens and as his partner, he should be able to leave some of that for her to carry for him. Aaawww! Lemony sings like a bird and tells her about Jake’s killing spree and his silence and agreement to prosecute the Lance dude is the only reason he’s alive. See? His inability to STFU is the reason why he can’t have nice things. But I like his relationship with Abby. They for real go together, and it’s not just when it’s convenient.
HuckleberryQuinn Face-off – Quinn gets home and finds Huck there. He says he’s there to kill her but he pins her on the wall and says he realizes that she wanted him to find out she broke into the safe because deep down, she’s still a Gladiator. She spits on his face and then he rough kisses her and I almost lost all the food I ate today. I had such an attitude after that scene. I almost upchucked.
Bad News Bears – Olivia is in her office when Harrison walks up and says that Adnan is back in town and scheming which is never good. Huck walks up and says Quinn is a part of B613 but she needs to be saved. And then Abby walks up to say Jake killed James and 2 other people. Liv goes and meets with David on the Lincoln Memorial steps to say she knows what happens but he needs to play along and charge the Lance dude. He should not try to take Jake down. BOTH of them should try to take down B613 itself. “Instead of standing alone and turning this into a suicide mission, stand with me. Lose this battle so we can win the war.”
Love and Pain – Cyrus decides to issue a statement now that a suspect has been apprehended in the shooting of the White house press secretary Olivia tries to stop him but he ain’t hearing it. He gets on the podium in the press room and as he starts talking, he stops. We flashback to the Inauguration ball when he stops what he’s doing and head out to the hallway where press is standing. He places a lanyard over James’ neck and pulls him into the ball. They start slow dancing and everyone in the room watches as these two men in love show it for the first time publicly. AAAWWWWWWW!!!
Back in real time, the tears first come out in spurts and then grief overcomes Cyrus as he stands behind the podium. His legs give way because that kind of loss makes your muscles useless even if only for a moment. He sputters and makes the strange sound of a man whose heart is broken and there’s nothing anyone can do about it because this loss is permanent. Fitz gets on stage, grabs him and pulls him away as Olivia finishes the statement.
WHEEWWWW!!! That was some real shit. I wanted to jump through the TV and hold Cyrus to my bosom and stroke his thin hair and just rock him as I hummed comfort into his ears.
I’m Sorry – Jake is watching the statement and it flashbacks to the night before. After Jake places the other two he killed in his trunk, he walks up to James, who is bleeding profusely but is still alive as he lays in the street. Jake kneels next to him and apologizes for not killing him faster. He had to make it look amateurish and he’s sorry for the pain James is in as he slips away. But, he tells him he’ll stay with him so he won’t be alone. Novak gurgles a weak “Ella” and it’s so fitting that his last word is his daughter. Jake says she’ll be taken care of, and seconds later, James takes his last breath.
ALL THESE EMOTIONS THAT I’M EMOTING! ALL THESE FEELS THAT I’M FEELING!
YOU GUISE!!! How can I be so conflicted about so much evil? Why do I wanna hug Jake too?
CHILE!!! Whooooo. What’s gonna happen to Baby Ella? Cyrus is not fit to be nobody’s daddy. You know Olivia and Fitz are her godparents. Maybe Liv will take her? Also, we still don’t know who Jake was inducting into B^13 last week but it’s looking more and more likely that it’s David.
And once again, if Joe Morton doesn’t win an Emmy next year, I’m pitching a tent on the committee’s lawn because there’d be no justice for real then.
What are Maya and Adnan up to, doe? Let’s not forget them two sneaky broads. And Quinn and Huck. Why?
Iunno. Talk amongst yourselves.
Oh and I did a whole other post on what James’ funeral is gon be like (it even includes a program).