Love, Relationships and Social Media: A Random Rant

Y’all know I be in Twitter ranting about random things. A couple of months ago, I read some piece about how women who stand on their own and don’t clutch to a relationship for dear life can’t sustain it. I was all “Chile… WUT?!?” Anywho, read the below.

love Deserve gif

If you can’t view it below, check it out on Storify.

Drop your thoughts on any of this in the comments. Let’s chat!

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  1. Regan Bell
    March 12, 2014 at 9:45 am

    You are not aloooooone, in my mj voice.

  2. Jasmine
    March 12, 2014 at 9:56 am

    Look Luvvie, I am going to need you to not put all my unorganized feelings into words and them tweet them out to bunch of random folks I ain’t never met. That’s just rude and unnecessary.

    Now I’m siting here at work reassessing my entire life and finally understanding why my chronic singledom never really bothered me the way it does others

  3. Amymay117
    March 12, 2014 at 9:58 am

    To me, it isn’t “I want you” nor “I need you.” It’s about I CHOOSE you. If you need, or are needed, the effort and energy exchange is unbalanced. And like you said, sometimes want can be fickle. But choice… That’s where conscious decision to commit comes in to play. And that’s where the scales balance. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they tip in his direction, and sometimes in mine, but the big picture is pretty even. And I CHOSE him, and he CHOSE me, accepting all the things that choice brings. Besides, we make pretty babies. Just sayin.

    • DJ
      March 12, 2014 at 10:48 am

      Amymay117 betta preach a word up in here, #doe. Praise Him! *takes off running around the church house*

    • M
      March 12, 2014 at 10:52 am

      Please trademark so I can repost this, put on a tshirt, mugs & business cards & make us both RICH!

    • Elle
      March 18, 2014 at 10:13 am

      Let the church say AMEN!! I had to cut a little dance at my desk reading this almost a week later. You have broken it down so that it may forever remain BROKEN. This here has been slept on and could be its own post.

      Forgive me for just a moment, cuz I want to run on with it. I hear you Luvvie and agree. All I NEED, is Jesus, but even Jesus allows me to CHOOSE Him (even after all He’s done for me). Free will is the foundation of our relationship–just as it is in ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP. That said, we should all recognize the role of choice and take control of our choices. When you start throwing need in there, to me, it sounds like you can’t survive without someone. And to be blunt babies survive without their mothers every single day–and I say that as a mother myself. There is no way your survival, happiness or sanity is tied to another person unless you tie those strings yourself. That is your creation, your choice and your doing. I don’t say that in judgment of anyone else, that’s just a realization I have come to in my personal love and loss.

  4. March 12, 2014 at 9:59 am

    Sooo, if I was standing on my own when we met, I’m not seeing the problem with continuing that into the relationship.
    This story sounds like the “You complete me” chorus singing. Hello! You need to be complete before you can offer anything to a real relationship.

  5. March 12, 2014 at 10:43 am

    Maybe that’s my problem. I don’t want to need anyone, and I don’t want them to need me. I’m happier alone that with someone who needs me to get their stuff done.

    PS The word #alphet? Made me laugh so hard. Love it.

  6. Deja
    March 12, 2014 at 10:43 am

    If my bf doesnt know he is redundant, im not sure hes the right man for me…

    Heres my two cents waiting for change:

    I dont need my friends to make excuses for me, my childlessness and lack of a husband at 32. (“such an accomplished -insert job title- for someone her age, when would she have time for kids?”)

    I dont need anyone to justify my cold lonely (sarcasm) existence by quoting statistics about how its typical these days for black women to get married later in life.

    And I dont need Tyler Perry to make a movie about how my life would be so much better if I didnt focus so much on my career and independence and instead catered to my man and Jesus.

    Is that so hard? Now, if the world would kindly step out of my office and my womb, i would appreciate it.

    • Jen Jen
      March 12, 2014 at 1:09 pm

      Lord, I wish Tyler Perry would find a new topic.

  7. March 12, 2014 at 11:13 am

    I don’t know. I think the notion that a man needs to feel needed is a real thing and I think there’s something to be said for providing that feeling; whether it’s strictly true or not.

    I’ve seen sooo many instances of a man in a relationship with an independent, self-actualized woman and getting it in with some sket on the side who has nothing going for her and I think part of that phenomenon is the whole “letting a man be a man” thing.

    Call me a throwback, but I think women have a distorted idea of the value of not needing a man. They think it’s a plus that men should admire, but I don’t think men see it the same way.

    I’m all for looking up all doe-eyed at my man and letting him solve my problems if it makes him feel good, even if I know good and well I could have solved it faster and better myself.

  8. Andressa
    March 12, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    When I say this post had me closing my office door to have a good cry/laugh

  9. Sunny
    March 12, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    Relationships SUCK…. I don’t have time for that. But I’m a bit out spoken anyway.

  10. Nicole
    March 12, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    But would you have the relationship be public(Fb status) and all after you get married?

    While we cool with both having our FB status be married( we announced our marriage but kept our engagement private on and offline), it was wierd to see people who had thse hidden feelings for either party coming outta the woodwork to say how hurt they were or tjat

  11. Nicole
    March 12, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    … that they regret not professing their love earlier. Sorry for the mistake, dang phone

  12. March 14, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    […] and needing/wanting someone, I want to share my experiences and thoughts on the matter. I enjoyed Luvvie’s breakdown of the difference and in many ways I can relate. In fact, my head was nodding the whole time. Yet I couldn’t […]

  13. April 19, 2014 at 9:07 am

    As a woman who didn’t meet and get married to my husband until I was 32, I learned a good lesson about “need” along the way. First, BRAVA on the choice comment by AmyMay117!