Did Malaysia Air Use Apple Maps? Cuz “What Had Happened Was…”
It’s been two weeks since Malaysian Air flight MH370 disappeared like everyone’s tax refund check money. It fell off radars, its equipment stopped working and no black box has been found. No debris has been confirmed to be linked to it and no one has gotten extra clues as to what happened to it definitively. If speculating was an Olympic sport, we’d all be platinum medalists (they’d need to upgrade from gold).
Nothing about this whole situation has curled all the way over or sounded right since the beginning. It’s a conspiracy theorist’s wet dream and the worst nightmare of paranoid people everywhere. The world has been collectively squinting like Homer as we’ve watched this unfold.
Today, the country’s government and the airline released statements to the family of the passengers and the public.
“Malaysia Airlines deeply regrets that we have to assume beyond any reasonable doubt that MH370 has been lost and that none of those on board survived. As you will hear in the next hour from Malaysia’s Prime Minister, we must now accept all evidence suggests the plane went down in the Southern Indian Ocean.”
OHOK O__o. They’re basically like “so ummm we looked and we ain’t find nothing. Let’s just say it’s in the ocean and no one made it. Sorry, yall!” Chile… that’s a mess. They need way more people.
It’s been TWO WHOLE WEEKS! How does a Boeing 777 just poof and vanish with no trace? As much technology that exists on a gahtdamb plane, no one could find THIS one? Didn’t nobody have some “find my iPhone” activated? Did anyone on the flight have student loans? Sallie Mae will track you down to the ends of the Earth if you owe them money. Did folks use Apple Maps to look for this plane? WHAT HAPPEN?? WHY IT HAPPEN??
It was easier finding Jesus’ footprints in the sand after high tide. We could all find Lil Kim’s original face, John Travolta’s real scalp and the lost city of Atlantis way easier. I don’t understand.
Did B613 do it? Olivia is somewhere RIGHT NOW yelling at Command to find out what really happened with that plane because this is fishier than the *pause* Indian Ocean. SHARRAP! Yeah I know I coulda done better with that joke. LEMME LIVE.
Chile, I don’t know. But I do know today’s announcement reeks of “WE QUIT!” Malaysia is taking its ball and going home. Those poor relatives of the people on board still don’t get any closure and that sucks royally.
And then Malaysia Air’s talmbout they’re gonna fly the family members of the passengers to wherever they eventually find the wreckage. Because that’s what the people wanna hear right now.
WHO WANTS TO FLY WITH YALL NOW?!? This is the type of stuff I’d expect from jankass Spirit Airlines (aka the Greyhound of Aviation), not Malaysia Air! What type of confidence are we supposed to have when we travel? I’m outchea thinking about taking boats and trains everywhere. I DON’T HAVE TIME TO COME UP MISSING. Girl…
My heart goes out to those who lost friends and family on flight MH370.
Anywho, what do y’all make up this entire fiasco? Let’s talk about it, fam.
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