Mama Said Knock You Out: Scandal Episode 315 Recap
Now that we’ve mourned the first main character who died on Scandal, we gotta deal with the messy aftermath. Typically, this show cleans up some mess before introducing new mess but it’s a mess tornado right now. Everything is topsy turvy and no one is on their feet at the moment. Let’s just get into the mess.
Not Ready – Olivia’s stomping through the White House and stops in the private press room to tell a reporter that they need to push back the interview with the First family. He tells her that if they aren’t ready at the time planned, 64 minutes from that time, then he’s gonna assume whatever he wants and still go live. Oop. Live stomps around and opens a room door where the older Grant kids (Jerry and Karen) are in. She tells them they all need to talk.
Aw damb. Whappened? Why it happen?
24 Hours Before – President Ghost and Mellie are getting dressed for dinner with their older kids who they’re nervous about seeing (because it’s been 2.5 seasons and this is our first time seeing them). It’s just dinner but it’s the most awkward thing ever, as the teenagers make it clear that they aren’t here for their parents at all. They’re super silent and distant. It’s also interesting to note that Lil Jerry looks JUST like Fitz’s daddy, Big Jerry. MMHMM! sips tea And he sounds like James Earl Jones, which is fascinating.
Nosy Gladiators – The Gladiators (and David) are in the OPA office scheming on collecting information on B613 and how they get funded because they are really about this “take them down” life. Huck pulls Liv to the side and tells her “we shouldn’t be doing this. It’s suicide.” At least somebody got sense here. She ain’t tryna hear him, doe.
Questioning Quinn – Charlie and Quinn are in the car and he’s asking her for details on what happened when Huck broke into her place. She neglects to mention that he kissed her but she talks about the other stuff, like being pushed on the wall. The Sugar Assassin asks for more details, and it turns out that there’s a dude in the trunk and they’re on a mission.
War Room Wonders – Back at the White House, the President and his staff are in the War Room, and they’re talking about some dudes named Ivan and Dmitri. They got their eyes on them. If we remember last week’s episode, Ivan is the dude that Maya Lewis (aka Mama Pope) wanted to meet with but when he didn’t show up, she offed one of his dudes. Uh oh. When the meeting ends, Fitz tells Cyrus that it was a “beautiful funeral.” YOU’RE WELCOME, CYRUS! I planned an amazing homegoing for your boo!
West Wing Wantonness – Olivia and Fitz are in the Oval Office sucking face and in another room next door, Mellie and Governor Nichols are doing the same. Look at all this wrong thirst happening. Were they pumping the smell of chocolate through the White House vents? Anywho, Liv exits the Oval Office and a couple of seconds later, she sees Mellie leave the other room she was in, with Andrew right after her. Chile… Liv walks up to him and tells him to leave FLOTUS alone because the last thing they need is a sex scandal. He gives the perfect reply with “Glass houses.” OOOOOPPPP!
She sure did try it. Perched in a house made of tin foil and throwing pellets. I need her to occupy EVERY SEAT in that doggone West Wing.
Stop Digging – Olivia gets a call from her not so sweet Papa and he tells her to stop digging into B613, because it’s raising alarms. The fact that she thought she could actually inquire about their logistics without raising eyebrows shows how naïve she can be sometimes. Rowan loves his baby girl, doe, because he got folks to STFU about her nosiness as a favor to him. She says “You told me I’m supposed to drag everyone into the light. That means B613 too, Dad.” Girl, B613 ain’t everyone!
Drilling Quinn – Charlie’s asking Quinn for more info on her encounter with Huck and she keeps telling him everything except for the part where he kissed her. What she forgets is that Charlie knows Huck’s motives and tactics best since they’ve been frenemies for such a long time. All this as they play “drill-a-dude” with the person they captured.
Spoiled Grants – Olivia told the Gladiators to dig into the lives of the older Grant kids because they’re both shifty as hell and super shady looking. It’s also hilarious that Jerry got the voice of a grown ass man. Anywho, they find out that he’s behind an anti-Grant Twitter account and he was planning on rocking a “Reston” t-shirt for the interview. When President Ghost confronts them, they show out. These damb chilrun. Malia would never.
Karen stomps out and Olivia follows her only to catch Mellie and Nichols pants down, mouth open.
Spooked Adnan – Adnan is officially petrified of Mama Pope. I don’t know what she expected when she got in bed with a snake. You will get bit! And that’s why she shows up to the Olivia Pope and Associates offices, looking for protection from her in exchange for information she gives them. Liv is about to put her out when Harrison tells her that he owes her a favor. Adnan wants immunity, since conspiring with a goon wanted by every agency of the government is so far beyond a crime that she’d be UNDER the jail.
Drama Was the Case – Mellie tries to talk to Karen and the girl flips out on her mother for being a hypocrite. “You were on your knees with Uncle Andrew!” Maybe she was praying to his waist. YOU DON’T KNOW THINGS, KAREN! In the Oval Office, President Ghost has summoned Jake and asked for Dmitri, because he knows he has him. Command ain’t tryna hear it though and Ghost puffs out his chest and tries to pull rank.
“I am the Commander in Chief.” “And I am Command which means you don’t tell me to do anything because I am not your bitch… I make sure America sleeps at night. You will not get your ball back.” ALLEY-OOP!
Every single time POTUS Ghost tries to pull rank, folks shut his yansh down super proper. “LOLOLYOUDONTHAVEANYPOWER.” He stays getting his ass handed to him.
Cyrus storms into the office and lunges for Jake, and he ends up hemmed up by him quickly. But he’s so angry that he tries to fight him again and security comes in to pull him off. Jakes excuses himself as Cy shakes with rage and turns bright red, mad that his boo was killed. Really, he knows it’s his fault because HE ordered a hit out on Publius before finding out James was it. But Cyrus tryna fight Jake is like watching a roach attack an elephant. Sir, you’re lucky you ain’t die.
The Help – Olivia’s at the White House gate getting security clearance when her phone rings. It’s the lady who birthed her, asking for Adnan back. She tells her mama no and gets read for filth with “You think you’re family but you are nothing but the help but you don’t even know it.”
GAHTDAMB DAWG! Liv is smart, kind and important, huh? Whew…. But Mama Pope ain’t told a lie there.
Ginghamless Gladiator – At OPA, Adnan is telling Harrison that he ain’t have to betray her like he did. They coulda worked together. But he said he had to do what he had to do.
She then tries to seduce him and when he decides not to go, she just drops her underdraws and sits down and lets him get a good view. I noticed that he didn’t have on his Gladiator armor, gingham. I knew that was trouble.
Tea Spilled – Olivia is trying to get Mellie together for this interview but methinks Drunk Mellie is in the building. She wants Liv to push it back because she is not ready for it. That’s when Liv goes to the reporter and he ain’t tryna give the extension so she heads to the kids’ room. Fitz walks in and wonders why only he’s dressed and Karen spills the tea out that Mellie was getting down with Uncle Andrew. SOMEONE GET A MOP. CLEANUP ON AISLE THREE! President Ghost immediately bolts straight to his VP candidate and DAAAMMMBBB!! GOVERNOR NICHOLS GOT KNOCKED THE FUGG OUT!
HuckleberryQuinn – Jake sends Quinn on a solo mission, and it’s to meet with Huck. She’s there because Liv’s goon wants to meet with Command to ask him to let Quinn go. When his mentee wonders why he’s tryna save her allasudden when he was just tryna render her toothless, he says things have changed. And then they have this long messy kiss and my last meal wanted to make an encore appearance. EEWWWWWWWWWW! I need Shonda to stop with these HuckleberryQuinn lust scenes. They get worse each time.
Freaking Gladiator – Harrison finally gave in to Adnan and they’re all boom chicka wah wahing all over his desk at the OPA office. WHY AINT NOBODY USING PRICELINE FOR THEIR RENDEZVOUS?!? You better name your price on a hotel! Why is everyone acting like the secks won’t be good if it ain’t done where the door got locks? Hot mess all around!
Command vs. Command – Jake stops at the Smithsonian to tell Rowan to stay out his damb business. The King of Reading tells him that he is alone in this work and he can’t be looking to him for a thing. “YOU ARE ALONE. YOUR PATH IS NOT MY PATH.” “Thank you for reminding me that when I decide to kill you, I need to do it all by myself.” All this testosterone. Heyyyyyy!
Papa Pope looking like “I ain’t never scurred.” YES!
What Did You Lose? – Mellie goes to Fitz and tries to give him ice for the fist he used to give her lover a shiner and he flips OUT! He tells her to remember when she told him 14 years ago that having a baby changed her and she was no longer a sexual being. “I spent 10 years with a wife who wouldn’t let me touch her.” Shit, Fitz. I woulda cheated on Mellie too. I’m terrible. He tells her that she’s ruined their marriage because it seems she just wasn’t attracted to him. She retorts with “I have given my life for you.” “What you’ve done is deny me love…” He asks her over and over again “What have you lost? What did you lose?” and she won’t answer him. What he doesn’t know is that she lost EVERYTHING. When his father raped her, she lost so much but made sure he gained that seat.
Olivia opens the door and tells them to focus on solutions. Fitz turns around and yells “I AM SPEAKING TO MY WIFE!!!” WELL DAMB! Yes he surely is, Liv. She leaves, hurt because the truth just punched her in the face.
Mellie should tell Fitz, instead of resenting him for what his father did to her. And Fitz NEEDS to know so he sees she’s sacrificed for him. But their conversation ends, shining light on how their marriage became the shell it is. Neither side is blameless but both sides have deep hurts.
Hey, Maid – As Olivia is leaving the White House, Cyrus stops her and says he needs her to go back. “Tell me we’re not the help. That I’m not some maid with a mop in my hands cleaning up when they ring the bell.” He can’t tell her that because it’s true but their jobs are necessary. He says he needs her there to be able to cope, now that his partner is dead to the bed and she returns.
Liv walks into the Oval Office and Fitz starts apologizing but she stops him. She says that she’s only back to do her JOB (not him), and since that is ALL she has right now, she cannot afford to fail at that too. He needs to fix his family (at least for the cameras) and he has 20 minutes to do it. President Ghost goes into Mellie’s office, grabs her hand and they walk into the kids’ room together.
Charlie Moves In – Quinn gets home from her meeting with Huck to find Charlie in the kitchen. Homeboy broke his lease and moved in to her house to “protect her” since she refused to move in with him. LAWDDDDD! He’s such a spider monkey boo.
Harrison Hoodwinked – David and Abby return to OPA with documents granting Adnan immunity and they find Harrison nekkid, unconscious and bleeding on the floor. Adnan is with Maya and Ivan, with a jump drive with all the data from Olivia’s computer. They have the entire schedule of the Grant campaign, info on his secret service detail and what type of shampoo she uses. They got EVERYTHING! Harrison’s GOOFASS failed so hard that failure just needs to be called “Harrison.” “Dang, bro. You straight up Harrisoned.”
Family Matters – Cyrus is at home playing with Baby Ella and my heart melted.
The Grants sit down for their interview afterall, looking like one big happy family and in coordinating #alphets of black and blue. Liv hands them Baby Teddy to complete the picture. What did Fitz and Mellie tell the kids to get them to show good behavior? I wonder…
Olivia gets a call and it’s from dear old dad, telling her that B613 isn’t funded by one agency. It’s funded by ALL of them. She asks why he’s giving her that info and he says “we’re family.” He knows good and damb well that it’s because he’s ready to take Jake down so he can get his office and benefits back. Either way though, I like where this is going.
Shonda be tryna tell people bout life through #Scandal, man. Liv ain’t gon win happiness with Fitz still married. As much as some folks say it glorifies infidelity, I beg to differ. Who wants to deal with all this emotional turmoil Liv goes through? She’s been miserable 95% of the time she’s been sleeping with Fitz. Only time she’s happy is during and post-coitus. Afterglow tinz. If you watch Scandal and something in you says “Yes. Married men are the way to go” then get thee to a therapist because you’re a masochist.
That is especially why I don’t have time for the COMPOUND IDIOTS who act like Olivia’s life is what we’d emulate. Anyone with sense won’t want that. I like my men emotionally available and unattached to other women.
Anywho, discuss, Gladiators. Check out Scandal Moments Tumblr for more GIFs, too.