The Fluffer and Mona Lisa of Boom: Scandal Episode 316 Recap
Chile, look. This episode of Scandal was intense! In fact, it was a throwback to season 2 and that I enjoyed. Let’s just get into it.
Not Olivia – Abby rolls through the White House in a white coat because she’s there to serve as Olivia’s proxy and Cyrus is not here for it. He calls her “Gabby” and lets her into a room that has Andrew Nichols with a black eye sitting across from a stewing President Ghost and unsure Mellie. Abby tries to give them all the poll stats and they all get up and leave as she’s talking. No Liv, no respect. Oop.
Donning Pope white don’t make you Olivia.
Money Mark – Olivia is with her father and since they’re in this whole B613 takedown together, she makes him promise that he won’t hurt Fitz. His words are “I won’t touch a hair on his head.” Ummm… that was carefully crafted because just because HE won’t touch it doesn’t mean one of his goons won’t. Anywho, Rowan tells Liv that B613 is funded by an algorithm that steals tiny amounts of money from all the different gubment agencies, and some of it is supplemented by taxpayers. It all goes into a black box account. There is no one source. There’s thousands.
Liv gets back to the OPA offices where the Gladiators (and David) are waiting and Huck forces her to admit that she got this info from her dad. He leaves the room and when Liv follows him, he tells her that she’s being treated as a mark. “He promised you something. That means he’s going to take something.” But she ain’t tryna hear him, doe. Aight, girl.
Burning House – Olivia had told Abby not to call her unless the house was burning down. Well, Nichols is salty that Mellie hasn’t returned his phone calls, as if he didn’t just get his eyeball punched in. Governor Reston is on TV being all saint-like and visiting his wife in prison, with the cameras following him as if he’s some ride-or-die hubby. And then, Jeanine Locke, the intern they tried to use to deflect from Olivia is now a published author who is on a press junket about how the President is a “baguette.” Aw shit. That WH is crumbling like Quinn’s teeth in Huck’s pliers so Abby calls her boss with an SOS.
The Fluffer – The press is eating up this new tea that Jeanine is spilling (even though it’s a lie) and when they interview VP Sally, all she says is she’s gonna pray for her immoral President. Again, I’m so here for her holy shade. Liv shows up to the Oval Office and President Ghost is mad that she sent “Gabby” in her place. And he wants to kick Nichols off the ticket. TOO LATE, BRO! You gotta deal! Liv has basically had enough and she goes IN!
“What else do you need? What service can I render for you today? Am I here to stroke your ego? Am I here to be your cheerleader? Am I here to wipe the tears away? Am I your nanny? Am I here to fight the bullies? Maybe I’m here to make you feel hot and manly. Am I your fluffer today?”
GO IN, OLIVIA! GO. IN. I’m so glad she’s clapping back like this. Is Shonda bringing my boo back to her old goonship?
Fitz looks at her and painfully says “I am not the bad guy. You can’t just stand there staring at me with dead eyes. I didn’t happen to you.”
Whew. That scene. Chile… it was like watching verbal volleyball of pain and love unable.
Yansh and Assignments – Jake tells Quinn and Charlie that he was someone they need to scope out but they CANNOT move without his say so. He hands over the folder and it’s Marie Wallace (aka Maya Lewis aka Mama Pope). Aw hell. Elsewhere, Maya is luxuriating in afterglow of coitus with some unknown white dude. The Pope women are all about the swirl, I see. Goons need loving too. Elsewhere, Harrison meets up with a woman named Claire and asks for info on Maya but she shuts him down something proper because she’s tryna make Mama Pope her mentor. OOP.
Go Home, Drake – Liv is in bed when her phone rings and it’s Drunk Jake (Drake) outside her door. Again: where is her building security? LAWD! She goes to her front door and says she’s not opening it. Command is on the other side talmbout how he misses her. YOU KILLED THE FATHER OF HER GODCHILD YOU CRAZY BUT SEGZY MAN!
You ain’t gotta go home but you can’t come in Liv’s crib. No matter how much you bang on the door. Not tonight, Drake. This is also why folks don’t take him as serious as Command. Rowan Pope would NEVER.
Animal Lost – Huck found the algorithm for B613’s money but the account is empty so he thinks Papa Pope is playing them. Liv goes to Daddy Dearest and he reminds her that “I’m helping you put down an animal that isn’t mine anymore.” Basically, Jake made changes (as he should have) for the very obvious reason that his predecessor might try to take him down. So to find the monies, they will have to get it through Command.
Unlisten to Liv – VP Sally is in the news because news leaked that her daughter got an abortion. Liv confronts Cyrus about it and he said he had to do what he had to do. When she points out that he went against her wishes, he points out that no one is listening to her at the moment because Fitz is in his office meeting with Senator Ramirez to possibly offer her the VP seat. She bum rushes that meeting and excuses the Senator. Ghostie’s all “YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” because he’s perpetually 5.
Olivia asks him what he NEEDS and he says a new VP candidate and she’s all “that’s what you WANT. Tell me what you need.” He finally tells her “I need Andrew to stop screwing my wife.” “Consider it handled.” I haven’t heard that in ages from Liv. HELL YEAH!
Love or Power? – Olivia meets with Andrew Nichols and says she is there because he has two choices: Screw Mellie or be VP.” Those are the ONLY two he has. And IF he decides to screw Mellie, she will run him out of the District so proper that he will be destroyed, personally and professionally. And really, he’ll only have a month of secks before that happens. So really, he only has one choice: be VP. The Governor says he loves FLOTUS but what’s love got to do with it? Liv tells him that she knows that he will choose power over love though. Nichols asks the unanswerable question of “What did he do to you?”
One Enemy – Cyrus walks in his office and finds Liv, Abby and Leo there. He basically throws a tantrum, until he’s told that they all must band together to take Governor Reston out of the race because he’s gaining ground. In that moment, the Grant campaign has one enemy. The Reston case file is pulled out. Uh oh.
Leo visits Governor Reston’s wife in jail with the file on the case that landed her there. He’s about to tell her the real truth, which is that her husband shot her lover on purpose, not because he thought she was being raped. Awwww snapp.
Mission from Maya – Charlie and Quinn are in the truck scoping out Maya’s operation (and listening to audio) when someone walks into the Goon Hotel Room. It’s the girl that Harrison met up with earlier, Claire. Maya tells her to secure a bunch of U.S. passports and gives her 24 hours to do it. She tells Claire to leave town forever AS SOON AS she finishes that mission, as if she asked her to go to the grocery store. It was all casual. Whewww. I’d be all “I can’t. I need time to pack my shoes.” Chile… this is why I’m not a goon. Priorities…
Mission for Liv – Huck tells Olivia that to get the info they need from Jake, she’ll need to place a device on his phone for 30 seconds so it can extract access codes and all that. She asks the stupid question of how she’s supposed to do that and he tells her she’ll figure it out and she knows good and damb well how. Liv ain’t tryna do it either but Huck just straight pulled her card to call her to the carpet. She’s made him do hella shit so… “We do what we have to do.” Sure do, Huckleberry. She better do something strange for this change.
Jake is in bed asleep when he hears a sound. He gets his gun and creeps into his kitchen to find Olivia helping herself to a giant glass of wine. Soon after they’re sucking face and getting busy. OWWWW! Shoutout to the Scandal cameramen for the way they maneuvered that scene. It was nothing but face and neck shots. They had to do what they had to do.
Back at the OPA office, Huck and Harrison are talmbout the power of the Love Pocket, knowing that Liv is using her body for currency at that moment. Whoooo. At the Ballard residence, the two of them are cuddling and Jake is caking with forehead kisses, not knowing that he’s about to be bugged. When he falls into a deep sleep, Liv rolls over and places the device on his phone. She returns to the office and drops the device on the table for Huck. Well done, ma’am. She got some AND some.
Marital Issues – Mellie is getting dressed with her bra and underskirt on and rollers in her hair. Fitz walks in and he says he’s made the bed so no one knows they don’t sleep together. She tells him that she helped him pick out 3 blue ties so he can look all patriotic and he takes them from her and throws them on the floor. Sings “Why does it hurt so bad? Why must I feel so sad?” He treats her SO BAD! Ugh!
Governor Reston goes to visit his wife in prison and she slides the file Leo brought over. When she asked him if he really did set her up, he admits it and says she better shut her mouth and deal. Oh. Sir. You don tried it.
Dinner with the Popes – Claire calls Harrison and says she will snitch to him IF he gets her an out. Ma’am, is there an out when you cross Maya Pope? Methinks not!
Liv and Rowan are having dinner when Maya shows up looking like a bag of money and evil. YESSS! The two of them are kinda stunned. Mama Pope’s crazy ass tells Olivia that she wants her to get out of the business she’s in because it’s dangerous. Papa grabs his steak knife and Mama leans over and dares him to make a move and see which of them is faster.
WHOOOOOOO!!! Then, Liv’s phone rings and it’s Harrison. Maya tells her she might wanna pick up. When she does, the Gingham Gladiator says Claire’s dead, and he’s standing over her body. Mommy Dearest tells her to stay out her business and she won’t have to do such things. AAAAAWWWWW SHHHHHIIIITTTT!!! Olivia’s mama is NOT to be played with. She’s a special type of crazy.
Revenge on Reston – At the White House, Abby shows Leo video from Reston’s visit with his wife where he admits he set her up. Also, she’s posted it online and it already has over 100K views. THAT’s how you gladiate. You can see Leo’s loving it and possibly Abby too. I see some sexual tension there. I feel it in my shondo, Shonda! Lemony better watch his woman. The Reston video goes viral and his candidacy is dropkicked through the goalposts of life. WELP!
Warrior Woman – The event that Mellie was at a Veteran’s Hospital. She had to make a speech to women who have served so she could help her husband win female votes and she stepped up and kicked ass. Governor Nichols watches the whole thing from the White House and sees the woman he loves standing by the man who perpetually betrays her. The man who is so petty that he has on a burgundy tie, instead of any of the 3 blue ones she set out for him. Chile…
Later on, Mellie runs up to him in the hallway and says she wants to “talk” with him later and he shuts her down. He mentions how her and Fitz have been such good friends with him and she abruptly leaves. She runs into the Oval Office, interrupting a meeting and slaps the DOG MESS outta her husband.
“You take everything from me!” Yes, including reliable peen. Damb you, President Ghost! You cockblocking summagoat! He reacts to that epic slap with a blank stare. I hate him for how he treats her.
Slaying Dragons – Olivia is in her office looking like a lost child when Abby comes in. She tells her how her father offered her an out to disappear and start over and she wonders why she didn’t take it. Abby spits her own words back at her with “You don’t get to run. You’re a gladiator. Gladiators don’t run. They fight. They slay dragons.” OK DEN!
Mona Lisa of Boom – Charlie and Quinn are still watching Maya and her people when they see her boo come in with a box of flowers. Under the flowers, there’s a bomb. Quinn gasps and even Charlie is taken aback. It’s not just any bomb. It’s the “Mona Lisa of BOOM!” Aw shit. They call Command and he tells them to sit tight. DON’T MAKE A MOVE! He wants to see what they’re planning on doing with it. Quinn better sit her yansh down and listen to Command. She’s talmbout she doesn’t wanna sit around doing nothing.
Meanwhile, the Gladiators got access to ALLLLLLL of B613’s tea. Plans, passcodes, access to servers. EVERYTHING! ALLATEA! ALLALIPTON! ALLAEARLYGREY! They’re all crowded around Huck’s computer like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel because this is huge. Huck asks Olivia if he should shut B613 down now. Because he has the power to. She says “yes.”
Back at B613, their lights turn off right as they’re about to hear what Maya is going to say about the bomb. Charlie and Quinn’s camera equipment dies and they call Jake. His phone has been disconnected. WORST MOMENT EVER!!! Quinn wants to move and Charlie says her alliance to the Gladiators better not make her disobey. She says eff it, grabs her gun and jumps out the van. When they both enter the hotel room, Maya and her goons are gone and Charlie says “good to know what side you’re really on.”
The Gladiators (and David) are at OPA toasting to a job well done. They’re congratulating themselves on taking down B613. And then in comes Jake who puts Olivia in a chokehold against the door! “WHAT DID YOU DO?!? YOU JUST KILLED THE PRESIDENT!”
AW SHIT!!! THE BOMB IS HEADED TO HER BAE, FITZ!
WORST TIMING EVERRRRR!!! EVER! EVER! EVERRRRR!!!
I gotta say. I haven’t fully really figured out why Olivia thinks bringing down B613 is for the greater good. THAT part confuses me. Their job is to clean up the messes and make sure America sleeps at night. Do you realize the chaos that would exist without them??? Yes, they create chaos but it’s controlled. This is all on some personal vendetta shit. Yes, the organization be killing friends, family and foes. Yes, they have no checks and balances because that’s like tryna give the devil rules. BUTTTT they serve a purpose that is bigger than who is Command.
Did Olivia REALLY think this through? You cut off the head of the snake and another grows back but she blew up the snake thinking there isn’t another one in the corner. And if you kill the snake, won’t the circle of life be disturbed? The snake exists to eat certain things. Consider it population control. They pulled the plug on B613 and the people who are kept in check by the existence of that org can now run rampant. You might think you’re curbing evil but what if that evil is keeping greater evil in control?
Methinks the Gladiators made a GIANT mistake on this one. It was pretty damb selfish.
Maybe I’m wrong. That won’t be new or anything so we shall see. Next week’s episode is the penultimate of the season. The bomb is set to detonate in 59:59. It’s about to go DOWN!!!
Discuss, Gladiators! Whatchu think about the B613 shut down?
Oh and Shoutout to the Diff’rent World Facebook page for this reminder: