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Something’s On Jermaine Jackson’s Scalp and It’s a Mystery

Jermaine Jackson has somehow turned out to be the oddest man in a family of really talented weird people and that is no small feat. Besides all the foolery he partakes in, like changing his last name to Jacksun (O__O) and being stuck in Africa because of his lack of child support payment, the dude has been walking around with hair paint for years.

He was on Celebrity Wife Swap the other day and folks were treated to this visual:

Jermaine Jackson hair

WHAT IS THIS, JERMAJESTY’S DADDY?? Jermaine cut off the growth on a chia pet, dipped it in tar and glued it on his scalp like TADA! I’m so unable. I think this is an artistic rendering of the BP oil spill. Maybe we just aren’t appreciating the depth of Jermaine. Maybe he invested in Sharpie in the early 90s and he just wants to make sure it remains profitable.

Jermaine is unable to matte. He’s so matte-deficient ALLATAHM. Skin looking like the finest patent leather… I can’t deal with him and unidentified textured hair paint coiffure! I just cannot. Can science solve this mystery for us? We’ve made it to the moon. Surely, we can figure out what Janet’s brother and Katherine’s son is rocking as a hairhat.

I just wanna hear what y’all gotta say. My girl Afrobella said:

“it’s like…waves of melted electrical tape and a kufi made of badger fur on top. also whatever he’s using is clearly sweatproof. Because Jermaine has remained oily skinned all his life and it remains in PLACE despite the spotlights he perpetually tries to be under.”

*DEAD*

But really. What is this on his scalp?? Talk amongst yourselves. I am CRYING laughing already.

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319 Comments

  1. CJ
    April 16, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    #iCANT

    • Sheletha
      April 17, 2014 at 8:00 am

      Shouldn’t he be careful doing that wife swapping thing??? At some point its going to stick. (…not to his hair)

      • missliss
        September 29, 2014 at 9:35 pm

        Dont he and randy have the same baby mama? Seems like he’s used to it!

    • cblack
      April 17, 2014 at 1:17 pm

      it’s like if you lay him down sideways he looks like the sleeping man on the side of the mountain and his edges are where years of molten lava have flowed down the side of the volcano and begun to cool and reshape the terrain. hawaii ain’t ask for him to represent they culture like this. walking around looking like national geographic went bankrupt. JESUS FIX IT AND MAKE IT WHOLE AGAIN!

      • carsonn_97
        April 17, 2014 at 3:42 pm

        LOL!!!!! I AM DYING!!!!!!! Hawaii is just pissed OFF!!!

      • April 17, 2014 at 6:18 pm

        Lol. 🙂

      • Mzkyoung
        May 21, 2014 at 9:49 am

        CTFU!!!! @ cblack

      • September 29, 2014 at 9:40 pm

        You are not right for that! Hawaii! Lol

    • Lurker
      April 17, 2014 at 5:33 pm

      His hair looks like it came out of a 3D printer.

      • lizzy
        April 18, 2014 at 1:33 am

        I literally threw my head back and laughed out loud!!!!!!!

      • Amber Rice
        May 20, 2014 at 9:57 pm

        Bahaha I laughed so hard snot came out my nose! Ew, tmi but that was straight to the point!

      • May 28, 2014 at 10:02 pm

        S. is for save me T. is for take it off O is for oh no P is for please Please

    • Pee
      April 17, 2014 at 11:58 pm
    • April 18, 2014 at 12:26 am

      I’m thinking that there’s a really big black shoe on his bed that he uses as a pillow…She shine boy in the morning heehee

    • jackfun
      May 12, 2014 at 10:59 am

      crazy hair he look like a fool that’s it

      • Jose ramos
        February 16, 2015 at 9:01 pm

        The world championship battle of prima donna hilarious wigs…Jermaine Jackson vs Mickey Rourke and the winner is – A Draw.

    • Cristina
      May 24, 2014 at 7:47 pm

      When I was watching celebrity wife swap…I was like “wth” legit what is wrong with him, his face looks like a freaking melting candle and I have a question was he caught in the oil spill and Dawn forgot to wash his hair… Otherwise I’ll stop buying dawn because they aren’t doing what they promised

      • May 24, 2014 at 11:07 pm

        It’s not just his hair! I also just watched Wife Swap and OMG what a sap – Is he really that weird or was he acting?

        • September 29, 2014 at 9:48 pm

          No, he IS just really that messed up. He wasnt acting LOL

    • ken
      December 12, 2015 at 11:43 pm

      Kiwi shoe polish on that fools head,life time skin problem too.

  2. Merica
    April 16, 2014 at 9:41 pm

    He truly looks like the Tin man from The Wiz!

    • Max
      April 16, 2014 at 9:48 pm

      YES! I couldn’t figure it out but that’s it!

    • DivaKors
      April 16, 2014 at 9:59 pm

      Yes!!!! And here I thought I was the only one who saw that!

    • Terri
      April 16, 2014 at 10:58 pm

      A teeeeee a teeeeeee

      • iamtmonie
        April 16, 2014 at 11:05 pm

        LOL!!!!!1 Hahahahahah

      • Chele
        April 17, 2014 at 3:20 am

        omg stop! Lmao! Imma have a damn stroke mess in around with y’all!

      • Me Talk Pretty
        April 17, 2014 at 10:39 am

        OMG!!!!! I can’t stop laughing!!!!

        • Tae
          April 17, 2014 at 10:52 am

          Yop! The Tin man with plastic scrunch waves. Stay out of Detroit, bro.

        • April 17, 2014 at 11:27 am

          LMBAO straight from “America”

          Jermanine: Oz never did give nothing to the Tin man, that he didn’t already have.

          And Cause never was the reason for the evening
          Or the tropic of Sir Galahad

          So please believe in me.”

      • a
        April 17, 2014 at 10:51 am

        Lolol tongue in throat!!!!!

      • Randomly Jazzy
        April 17, 2014 at 11:01 am

        LMAO

      • Mimi
        April 17, 2014 at 11:30 am

        LMAO

      • m
        April 17, 2014 at 11:35 am

        hahahahaha!!! Slide some oil to me….

      • Kwan
        April 17, 2014 at 8:32 pm

        STAHHHHP! LMAO

    • Milaxx
      April 17, 2014 at 11:34 am

      ….slide some oil to me…

    • April 17, 2014 at 11:36 am

      So true Mercia. Specifically the Tin man from the wiz like in this clip. LOL

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAS5flBTSwo

    • Calvin
      April 17, 2014 at 5:14 pm

      Tin Man’s face, Oompa Loompa’s coloring. Mama Jackson’s threesome went very wrong.

      • Laura
        April 17, 2014 at 9:10 pm

        “Mama Jackson’s threesome went very wrong”?! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!! So wrong, so VERY damn funny!!!!!

      • Shay
        May 20, 2014 at 5:39 pm

        LMAO! *hollerin*

  3. nicHole
    April 16, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    His tattoo artist is talented…who knew that you could tattoo fingerwaves…on a scalp?!?!? Genius.

    • Denise
      April 16, 2014 at 10:23 pm

      Oh Lawd, I am DONE!!! LMAO!

    • ifyouevercomeback
      April 16, 2014 at 10:48 pm

      iCan’t breathe and iQuit you

    • Tisha
      April 17, 2014 at 10:56 am

      Lord! Why she say tha?!?!

    • April 17, 2014 at 12:38 pm

      *dead*

    • Ima
      April 17, 2014 at 9:35 pm

      Tattooed fingerwaves…I thought I it all in 3rd TX..

  4. Danielle
    April 16, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    I always thought he used shellac and boot black. :-/

    • mary burrell
      April 17, 2014 at 6:29 pm

      @Danielle: Shellac and boot black, I am howling like a wolf baying at the moon. That’s funny.

  5. Shani
    April 16, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    So… He is one of those old school dolls that you would put the play dough in, and squeeze out the new hair. It’s the only thing that makes sense. He is all plastic, and squeezes out new hair when ever it’s time to go out in public. *shrug*

    • Claire
      April 16, 2014 at 9:54 pm

      This. I thought I was dead but I keep laughing every time I re-read it.

    • April 17, 2014 at 3:50 am

      LMAO this!

    • AR
      April 17, 2014 at 4:30 am

      Lol Shani! prolly pushes in his belly-button and out comes the new growth, all shiny black and coiffed

    • Kiss
      April 17, 2014 at 10:28 am

      Nooooo! Play do hair!!!!

    • Randomly Jazzy
      April 17, 2014 at 11:02 am

      Why???? LOL

    • Tamlyn
      April 17, 2014 at 8:50 pm

      You are talking about the Play
      dough Fuzzy Pumper…just crank it out and cut it off with those big awkward plastic scissors!

    • September 29, 2014 at 9:51 pm

      BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA #Dead

  6. Shanitha
    April 16, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    “Artistic rendering of the BP.oil spill?”
    Time of death: 10:45 pm
    Bury me in purple please…

    • Andrea
      April 16, 2014 at 10:11 pm

      I too saw this. Um why stop at the hair? What about his hot pink shirt, man boobs and inability to care for himself? The whole episode was bizzaro world

      • ifyouevercomeback
        April 16, 2014 at 10:49 pm

        Child the new wife’s facial expression every time he did something crazy was priceless.

    • Andrea
      April 16, 2014 at 10:12 pm

      That’s the one.

    • Christy Stover
      April 17, 2014 at 12:27 pm

      #thisonekilledme

    • carsonn_97
      April 17, 2014 at 3:51 pm

      LOL!!!!!!!! And be ready with some old negro spirituals!!! LOL!!! I am DYING!!!!

  7. naturalista88
    April 16, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    That hair hat was crafted from the finest of possum fur and rolled around in some coal.

    • Katrina68
      April 16, 2014 at 10:42 pm

      Please don’t do that to the possum.

    • Laura
      April 17, 2014 at 9:13 pm

      Oh honey, possums are much more attractive, lmbo!!!!

    • September 29, 2014 at 9:53 pm

      LMFAO #Dead #icant

  8. onlychyld
    April 16, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    Why are his pores so large? Does he collect the oil from the wells on his face and use it on his hair?

    • Kamaria Laffrey
      April 16, 2014 at 11:15 pm

      This. Just Dayum.

      • SilkOne
        December 11, 2015 at 9:58 pm

        Just rub his hands across his face and smear it on his head. Like Katherine used to do with vaseline in the winter.

  9. Carla
    April 16, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    That’s the economy tub of brown gel. Only brown gel can mold hair like that. Smh. That looks like a defective hair piece ….smh again

    • howlingbanshee
      April 17, 2014 at 2:34 pm

      Yaaaaaaaasssssssss, servin’ us some Ampro realness with a side of Pump it Up… I love it.. you can’t outdo Jermaine

      • Delta89
        April 17, 2014 at 3:36 pm

        OMG howlingbansee are you the comedic genius who gave us the Soul Train commentary? I just passed out laughing and woke back up to type this. HAHAHAHAHAH

  10. LaShonda
    April 16, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    It look like he has black shoe polish over some ramen noodles.

    • Sanzy
      April 16, 2014 at 10:12 pm

      This. Exactly this!

      • April 16, 2014 at 10:59 pm

        OMG!!! I’m DEAD!!!

    • Kimyatta
      April 17, 2014 at 10:28 am

      Now this one here…THAT’S FUNNY!

    • Me Talk Pretty
      April 17, 2014 at 10:40 am

      Just damn. yYou all are SLAYING me today. LMMFBAO!!!

    • Laura
      April 17, 2014 at 9:16 pm

      OMG, it does!!!!! I’ll never look at Ramen the same way again, lol!!

    • Evilangel7388
      April 18, 2014 at 7:51 am

      Omg. Ramen noodles….DEAD!

    • G
      October 19, 2014 at 11:54 am

      EXACTLY!!!!!

  11. Milaxx
    April 16, 2014 at 9:48 pm
    • April 17, 2014 at 10:33 am

      You cut that out, right nah!

      X-D

    • Olii
      April 17, 2014 at 10:50 am

      HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

    • Yanna Panna
      April 17, 2014 at 10:52 am

      Yes! Exactly that!

  12. Jen DC
    April 16, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    OK, so the sides and I’m assuming the back are slicked down with that brown shellac, right? And those waves are created with a wave tooth decorating comb, which until this very moment I did not realize existed. Generally used to decorate cakes, Mr. Jacksun’s hairdresser went out on a creative limb with this tool ri’chere. https://www.bakerycrafts.com/Images/DC-BC24.jpg

    And that top? That’s an S-Curl, again shellacked, but teased high. Because, as we all know, the higher the hair, the closer to God.

    • Ebonyjo
      April 17, 2014 at 3:45 am

      Almost fell out my chair, laughing so hard at this! Haha

      • bel4d
        May 24, 2014 at 9:02 pm

        You might be right. I’m a master barber and there is nothing in the book about whatever it is attached to his head like some alien being. His face looks like burnished wood or weathered leathered from the Colorado mountains.

    • Karen
      April 17, 2014 at 7:35 am

      Best reply EVER!!!!!!!!!

    • Jill
      April 17, 2014 at 9:40 am

      *IN TEARS* This right here!!!

    • Bukky
      April 17, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      Done. And Done. Thank you.
      LMAO!

    • LadyCant
      April 17, 2014 at 2:45 pm

      I am SO glad I wasn’t the only person that thought of the cake decorating tool!!!! *LMAO*

    • Mamasup
      April 17, 2014 at 7:07 pm

      Jen DC you rightly divided this hair sichuation’!!

    • LaLainVA
      April 21, 2014 at 5:08 pm

      OhhhhhhEmmmmmGeeeeee!!!! I can’t laugh any harder!!! ROFLOL!!

    • SilkOne
      December 11, 2015 at 9:59 pm

      Noooooo! Lost all my cants!

  13. snuffy
    April 16, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    That fondant on the side looks nice.

    • Erica KayCole
      April 16, 2014 at 10:26 pm

      Aww I am on the floor crying yo!

    • Chele
      April 17, 2014 at 3:17 am

      Oh god please stop y’all please! I’m dying laughing over here. I can’t even breathe. This is just too funny.

  14. rikyrah
    April 16, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    This is crazy. That picture freaks me out.

  15. April 16, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    It’s a sadness texturizer with a desperation pomade, all held together with a self-hatred hairspray.

    • Sunny
      April 16, 2014 at 10:00 pm

      x__x

    • ronnielynn
      April 16, 2014 at 10:21 pm

      Ok. This is my favorite.

    • Seachelle
      April 16, 2014 at 10:56 pm

      Dead. So funny, yet so sad.

    • JB
      April 16, 2014 at 11:01 pm

      Self-hatred hairspray took me to Glory!!!

      • Me Talk Pretty
        April 17, 2014 at 10:42 am

        Me too. Jesus lawd. I need hands laid pronto!

    • Ebonyjo
      April 17, 2014 at 3:51 am

      Haha! Hit the nail right on the head perfectly! ha!

    • Jill
      April 17, 2014 at 9:40 am

      I CAN’T! I’M DONE! YOU WIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • Thatdamnrican
      April 17, 2014 at 3:27 pm

      Someone call 911 , cause this deaded every other comment. Bwahaha!!!!!

    • Lincoln
      April 18, 2014 at 12:17 am

      Time of Death: 10:17pm.

    • Adwoa
      April 22, 2014 at 3:33 pm

      MA’AM.

  16. KB
    April 16, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    Chiiiiiiile…..this right here looks like fresh bike tread in the blackest of tar….somebody has begun road construction on the side of Jermaine’s head… we are currently down to one lane and I got places to go. LOL

    • Resah
      April 16, 2014 at 9:58 pm

      “Road construction on the side of Jermaine’s head.” 🙂

    • Katrina68
      April 16, 2014 at 10:46 pm

      You are in need of the Lord. I’m done like a pound cake, right here.

    • Nichelle
      April 17, 2014 at 1:52 am

      Honey bunches of nope! Lol my new favorite cereal.
      When you said down to one lane with places to go…. I had to line up for altar call! Lmaoooo

      • Christy Stover
        April 17, 2014 at 12:33 pm

        “…down to one lane with places to go,” had me crying and then you said, “…line up for altar call,” and I did the cry-silent-laughing-body-shake-till-I-die kind of laugh… #onthefloor

        • nichelle
          April 17, 2014 at 11:24 pm

          i had to! i had to go lay that burden down and leave it with the LAWD!

        • SilkOne
          December 11, 2015 at 10:01 pm

          I.can’t.breathe!

    • Camielle
      April 17, 2014 at 4:12 am

      “We are currently down to one lane and I got places to go.”

      I’m SLAIN! Forget burial, just cremate me and let my ashes blow in the wind!

    • Jill
      April 17, 2014 at 9:44 am

      Now I have to shut down and go collect my feelings…cry…laugh…repeat!

    • akaicdiva
      April 17, 2014 at 1:20 pm

      Pulse rate rapidly decreasing!!! Call it… I’m dead!!!! /\/\________/\_______________!#hahahahahaahaha!!!!!

    • Mimi
      April 17, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      KB, I can’t with you…LMMFAO @ road construction

  17. Max
    April 16, 2014 at 9:55 pm

    He must be using something old school like Dax or Blue Magic mixed with some sort of paste

  18. DivaKors
    April 16, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    JJ looks like Nipsey Russell from The Wiz. “Oi-ul! Oi-ul! Slide some oil to me…

    • Tobey
      April 17, 2014 at 10:25 am

      I AM CRYING!! Hahahahaaa, I thought the same exact thing!!!

  19. txpeach
    April 16, 2014 at 9:58 pm

    I don’t believe this is real life… His head looks like a molten conglomeration of licorice and those caramel candies your grandmother kept at the bottom of her purse next to the peppermints and crumpled kleenex.

    • April 17, 2014 at 11:01 am

      I call that brand of candy the official Church Chew.

  20. April 16, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    I figgered it out, if you look closely, it is patent leather on the sides and the top is one of those brushes you polish your shoes with. He also takes the time to melt chocolate on his face everyday. And Va La he is Casket Ready!!!!!

    • sfj
      April 18, 2014 at 7:09 pm

      DEAD,At Casket Ready !!!

  21. AA
    April 16, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    I’ve said for a while that his coiffure is a combo of Murray’s, conkalene, squalene, S-curl and boot black with Marksalot on the edges. He’s doing way too much with that wig-hat and his face is looking like claymation!

  22. April 16, 2014 at 10:03 pm

    His hair has ALWAYS made my head itch. I won’t even go into the mystery that is his skin.

    o_o It all has a strange texture I feel like a good scrub, shave, and some witch hazel could/would/SHOULD fix.

  23. tm
    April 16, 2014 at 10:03 pm

    It’s like he wraps his hair at night with hot wheel tracks.

    • Andrea
      April 16, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      Hot wheel tracks. Dead

    • Mir
      April 16, 2014 at 11:21 pm

      :::settling into casket holding a shiny green hot wheel:::::

    • LadyCant
      April 17, 2014 at 2:49 pm

      STAAAAAAAAAAAHP

      *limps away, crying and shaking my fist at you* I’ll get you next time, Gadget!

    • carsonn_97
      April 17, 2014 at 4:05 pm

      You just kilt (yes I said kilt) me dead!!!!! Phoning my next of kin and the crematorium dead!

  24. MVP
    April 16, 2014 at 10:05 pm

    He’s the same color as your argyle background

  25. Asking for a friend
    April 16, 2014 at 10:05 pm

    So…you think sniffing his hair will give you the same high as sniffing markers?

    • Max
      April 17, 2014 at 11:05 am

      BWAAAAAH! Legit good question. I wonder if it smells like the scented markers. If it does I’m guessing it smells like licorice. Or grape.

  26. madcarlotta
    April 16, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    Forget the hair…. why is he orange? Or red? Or whatever that colour is. This is not a black man. This is the result of an oompa loompa mating with a lump of ear wax.

    • April 16, 2014 at 10:27 pm

      I can not! LOL! Why am I laughing this hard?

      This man and his hair has been “interesting” for years. It has definitely reached EPIC levels at this point!

    • Ladyblovebytes
      April 16, 2014 at 10:33 pm

      Burnt Sienna…

    • Mir
      April 16, 2014 at 11:22 pm

      Oh my spasms of laughter hurt so bad.

    • Ronda Carrington
      April 17, 2014 at 8:16 am

      Hahahahahahaha!!!!! “An Oompa Loompa mating with a lump of ear wax!!!” Hahahahahahaha!!!!! Priceless!!!!!

    • Jill
      April 17, 2014 at 9:45 am

      See, yall just can’t chill! *DEAD*

  27. Drea823
    April 16, 2014 at 10:09 pm

    *Squints* *enlarges picture* *squints again*….Wtf!?

    Looks like he sewed a wool hat to his head and painted over it with black shellac.

  28. Meghan
    April 16, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    As the amount of gray hairs increase, he needs more and more DAX/Sharpie/Crayons/Boot Polish. He’s “just saying no” to gray. Has anyone seen a Jackson with gray hair? Including the dad???

  29. me
    April 16, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    At least his ishhh is lined up straight.. He must have a stencil.and a can of spray paint… Lmao

    • SilkOne
      December 11, 2015 at 10:04 pm

      But the outline makes him look like the ace of clubs. He need ta back up off that sharpie.

  30. April 16, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    I got nothin.

  31. April 16, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    I originally was thinking lack of sunscreen which explains the rubbery, orange toned skin. Overall just speechless that he looks like a human California raisin, ****drops the mic****

  32. Katrina68
    April 16, 2014 at 10:21 pm

    Damn, damn, DAMN, the comments here…?!!!Have mercy! I am so done with you people, lmao!!!

    My sides are hurting and my eyes are streaming. My hubby can’t watch his show cause I’m acting a fool!

    possum, badgers and a bike tire on fresh tar…oh my

    • Chele
      April 17, 2014 at 3:26 am

      Me too! I can barely breathe from laughing so hard.

  33. April 16, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    that is a combination of kanekalon braiding hair slicked down with brown ampro gel, enhanced with that hair in a can spray paint, set to harden with clear nail polish for shine. yup. sounds legit

    • Joey Nicole
      April 17, 2014 at 12:00 pm

      You Win! Enough internet for me today! KANEKALON set with clear nail polish? I will not!

    • Londa
      May 1, 2014 at 10:52 am

      I am so late reading all of these comments. But, this one right here…girl…I am so completely undone! Everyone has had me dying with laughter. You, however, left me unable to be resuscitated.

  34. jacquelyn elaine berry
    April 16, 2014 at 10:37 pm

    Why so many comparisons??? Lets keep it real!!! He looks like a very horrible ugly,aged, wax doll…. with all that $$$$:i cannot be convinced he can’t look better.Either no one loves him enough to
    Be honest with him or he’s blind or he just doesn’t care. Life goes on! I feel sorry for him. #poorsoul

    • Ronda Carrington
      April 17, 2014 at 8:19 am

      He’s the opposite of his brother… Just saying…

      • Chopstick
        April 18, 2014 at 9:00 am

        … heck ya, totally opposite; this one is still alive and shaming the world!!!

        … these comments have ruined my stomach muscles and I will never sit the same again… just too dayum funny

    • LadyCant
      April 17, 2014 at 2:52 pm

      I do NOT feel sorry for him. If he actually got his life together instead of trying to be his baby brother he might not look like a prune dipped in red sealing wax with an aura failing stocks in disappointment and poor life decisions….

      • LadyCant
        April 17, 2014 at 2:53 pm

        *aura of

    • jimmy
      April 17, 2014 at 5:25 pm

      You know who I feel sorry for? Anyone who allows this grease trap to sit on their furniture. You know you can’t get that shit out.

  35. ThisGuy
    April 16, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    That’s my picture I took….

    • April 16, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      Word? Gimme your site or link so I can give you credit for it.

      • ThisGuy
        April 17, 2014 at 9:50 am

        I took it and put it on Facebook. It’s cool…it was linked to the pic I took and threw me off. Rotflmao. Beelowery on Facebook

  36. Ebon
    April 16, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    What….in…the…he…wait….I….ok, after I’ve tried to wipe the greazzz….not grease, but greazzz off of my damn phone (because I swear this negro’s greazzz is seeping through), I just have to wonder if homie is a spokesmodel for Blue Magic or something! If so, Jermaine…boo…YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!! This fool looks like he ate one too damn many piece of chicken and was like, “Ya know what? I’mma just jump off in the batter myself and get on up in this oven!” LMAO!!!

    I…wow…just…wow!!

  37. Jennifer Moore
    April 16, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    These comments are killing me!! I only watched that show to see what he was gonna do. Jermaine did not disappoint!! His hair, that orange makeup, that temper tantrum he threw by locking himself in his room!! The man is 60 years old and is so childish!! SMH!! These comments!! LMAO!! #dead

  38. LegalEase
    April 16, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    Soooooo…… We ain’t gon talk about his lack of eyebrows? No? Ok…..

    But all I’m saying is he eyebrow deficient and orange. Not a good look.

    • Katrina68
      April 16, 2014 at 10:55 pm

      I can’t speak on the eyebrows, not enough testosterone to go around, I’m thinking BUT as far as the skin goes, maybe he had an overdose of Vitamin C?

  39. Katrina68
    April 16, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    Gumby got a tan.

  40. Quanda
    April 16, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    He look like a wax figure.

  41. audrey whitaker
    April 16, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    NO!!!!!!!

    He’s a Jackson and ……

    He’s a Jackson! That’s all

    • Ronda Carrington
      April 17, 2014 at 8:21 am

      Hahahahahahaha!!!!!

  42. bb
    April 16, 2014 at 10:48 pm

    “It’s the wax that the Terminator X Spun,”

  43. April 16, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    I’ve ascertained perhaps he attempted a hair transplant, but the tiny needles caused a wavy pattern of keyloids that happen resemble the current loom band braclet craze. He attempted to use the blackest of black Bigen liquid hair paint to cover this unfortunate mishap and sealed it with Pump It Up Spritz. The sheen obviously comes from the old S-curl activator that ran down from the shag on top to the sides
    You’re welcome.

    • Ronda Carrington
      April 17, 2014 at 8:23 am

      Hahahahahahaha!!!!! Thank you!!!!!

    • eb
      April 18, 2014 at 9:46 pm

      Not keloids #dead bahhhahhaaa

  44. TRAUMADIVA1
    April 16, 2014 at 10:53 pm

    He is just tamming all of his baby hurs. Ridonkculous…….

  45. April M.
    April 16, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    I’m in my bedroom, shoulders shaking, tears just streaming down my face, trying not to wake up the entire house with my laughter. Please continue!

  46. Krys
    April 16, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    I asked my mom to put on her glasses n look at his picture, since they from the same generation n she’s wise n what not. Anywhoo half a second after lookin at the pic, she buried her head in a pillow n screamed. It’s jus an unsolved mystery yall

    • NeNe
      April 17, 2014 at 11:05 am

      this is my new favorite, because I hollered, out loud, at work. lol

  47. KC
    April 16, 2014 at 11:32 pm

    Whycome nobody talkin bout the MAC ooh baby lipgloss he wearin on dem lips?

    • SilkOne
      December 11, 2015 at 10:11 pm

      You sure that’s not grease from his face? Maybe he just runs his finger across his forehead (carefully, to avoid the the hairline stencil) and smoothes it on his lips.

  48. Columbus mom
    April 16, 2014 at 11:45 pm

    Wow, people, wow!!!! I am reading this in bed and about to fall out with laughter. Your comments are more creative than his hairstyle

  49. Pat
    April 16, 2014 at 11:50 pm

    Been wondering for yrs now, I’mSleep!

  50. drape
    April 16, 2014 at 11:52 pm

    fbrq thinks the hair is sexxy, even if it is fake and should be taken off, still riding the sexxy train :*

  51. KamK
    April 16, 2014 at 11:58 pm

    What I dont understand is why it looks like his head had tv interference, like back in the day when the tv would mess up and it would get those rolls up and down the screen.bless his heart that he looks like old school cable side B!

    • Ms. Mogul
      May 23, 2014 at 5:00 am

      The sudden outburst of laughter this just caused with years got me kicked out of my boring ass board meeting. The visual killed me!

  52. mistyfee
    April 17, 2014 at 12:07 am

    Thanks to Luvvie and the commenters, I have just woken up my entire household. I am screaming, howling with laughter. Y’all give me soo much life !!!!

  53. MLK
    April 17, 2014 at 12:11 am

    Jermaine had an entire face-lift in 1987 and was one of the first volunteers in the LOTTO replaceable face=off competition where said sneaker company who originated replaceable logos on the side of the shoe were now attempting to originate a form of “face-lift” where faces were lifted off entirely, the muscle tissue was covered with velcro and an array of faces and hairstyles were available for purchase. This is the “Clay Mask Black Wicker Tar Forest” (item 0024), Jermasty’s favorite. It is a non-drying clay invented by the Crayola company. The black wicker was woven by Peruvian children who dip their fingers in candle wax before weaving and spitting a tar like bile over their rapidly working fingers.

  54. April 17, 2014 at 12:51 am

    This takes me back to the jeri curl days and makes me wonder what his pillow looks like. Yuk!!!

  55. Absurdist
    April 17, 2014 at 1:03 am

    I prefer Chris Rock’s view: Jermaine is jes GREASY.

  56. Darius
    April 17, 2014 at 1:16 am

    I’m assuming he’s got the cataracts or somethin’.
    Confusing his Kiwi shoe shine for a dark and lovely leave in conditioner. Clearly the chemicals have got to his brain after all these years. That or Ms Katherine was poppin more than phen phen during THAT pregnancy.

  57. My2Cents
    April 17, 2014 at 1:29 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GeF7A05zQ8

    This you tube clip for spray on hair is hilarious. I think this is what Jermaine uses. lol

  58. James
    April 17, 2014 at 3:40 am

    He is obviously bald and trying to play it off. Magic Marker on the sides and a Chia pet’s growth on the top. That was an easy one. Either that or he is preparing for a role as “Alligator Man.” The leathery skin is dead giveaway.

  59. Ebonyjo
    April 17, 2014 at 4:20 am

    A hairdo that has not moved for years! Same caked products=never grow old! Haha

    Never washed his face, piled up makeup+grounded in cinnamon dirt=opened poses :/

  60. Delita
    April 17, 2014 at 4:38 am

    It’s Dax mixed with shoe polish or maybe a new invention of lacefronts. Lls

  61. Cross
    April 17, 2014 at 5:15 am

    Must have taken some really complex mathematical formulae to come up with that pattern.

  62. Ms Brome
    April 17, 2014 at 5:26 am

    He’s modeling himself after those West African Barber Shop Paintings where they paint the waves using white squiggles. It does not work in 3 dimensions, J.

  63. KayMee
    April 17, 2014 at 5:55 am

    Between that hair and skin, bet he can’t ever take a nap without laying down a tarp in the sofa. Oh, the pillow cases he must ruin on a daily.

  64. Dez_zee
    April 17, 2014 at 5:56 am

    Paper mache, black acrylic paint and glossy mod podge perhaps? He must stay in A.C. Moore!

  65. April 17, 2014 at 6:01 am

    I can’t believe a man his age acts so immature. Oh and that hair style he got plastered to his scalp hasn’t changed at all. It’s worse now than ever. This reminds of a parodi a commedian did on youtube. Y’all have to watch this. Had me in tears LOL!!
    http://YouTube.be/3PCTQvUZ5j8

  66. Ms. Lou
    April 17, 2014 at 6:02 am

    I’m telling you, he has a #1 Yaki hair toupee (in kinky curly) that he glues on, then he spray paints his whole head with jet black hair paint and wipes the edge with a damp cloth before it dries. This is very fashion forward. It is all the rage with the puppet villains on children’s television.

    • Jen Jen
      April 17, 2014 at 11:37 am

      “It’s all the rage with the puppet villains on children’s television.” __________________________________ Flatline

    • Noey
      April 17, 2014 at 2:25 pm

      Noooo I wasn’t ready! Puppet villains tho! Hahahaha!

    • Rhonda
      April 17, 2014 at 3:04 pm

      I just literally laughed out loud in my office; I have tears….

    • nichelle
      April 17, 2014 at 11:27 pm

      puppet villains, doe?! DEAD. lmaooooo

  67. Demarias
    April 17, 2014 at 7:16 am

    How long black weave glue been Out? Because thats clearly black weave glue! U know how it get on ur scalp? And and its very hard to get off? Yulp!!!y’all problem solved it’s black hair glue. And do he look a lil tab bit like James brown? Im just saying!!!!

  68. April 17, 2014 at 7:24 am

    His hairdresser took, noodles glued them on his head and spray painted them black (instead of the usual gold, like we did as kids) then went in the yard and dug up a patch of grass and and plopped it on top like a cherry…… and said TADA!!!!!

  69. Karolynn
    April 17, 2014 at 7:31 am

    His skin looks like a LAND handbag tho? Like….

  70. lamar
    April 17, 2014 at 7:42 am

    these are old Jackson 5 vinyls melted and attached to his head.

  71. April 17, 2014 at 7:55 am

    Y’all r some straight comedians!! I mean I’m over hear crying like I’m at a funeral!! Jermaine asked 4 this 2.. He know he’s dead wrong.. I can’t even say what his hair look like. I’ve been staring at it and don’t have a clue. Only thing I can come up wit is shalack mixed with black shoe polish mixed wit razor blades with a couple of packs of soy sauce then he let it harden while sittin under the hair dryer and get his complection by sittin under the dryer as well..

  72. Shelly
    April 17, 2014 at 8:24 am

    His hair looks like it snaps on and off like Legos and what’s that on top yarn????

    • April 17, 2014 at 11:42 am

      Awww SHIIIIIIIID, not LEGOS!

    • Mo
      April 17, 2014 at 4:21 pm

      Aaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh my damn Woooooooow ya’ll are killing me. Im ova here crackin the hell up. Dead just dead I tell ya!!!!

  73. Shelly
    April 17, 2014 at 8:27 am
    • howlingbanshee
      April 17, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      They lost me at protractor and primer. _____________done

  74. RDT
    April 17, 2014 at 9:05 am

    It’s like someone dipped Sponge Bob Square Pants in black ink and placed it on his head.

  75. DMSR
    April 17, 2014 at 9:29 am

    So much going on up there…he ordered the combo-platter!

  76. Joanne Renee
    April 17, 2014 at 9:46 am

    He’s like a permanent Halloween mask. He’s what I tell my niece lives in the basement waiting to devour bad little girls in order to get her to behave. I bet Madame Tussaud thinks he escaped her museum.

    • jimmy
      April 17, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      Hahaha wait…what? No! That image made me behave. When mere thought of you is worse than the Boogey Man it’s time to give up on this thing called life.

      PS- Joanne, you owe me a new Icee because you just made me spill mine down my shirt. I want Coke please, thanks.

  77. Michele
    April 17, 2014 at 10:08 am

    Damn every single one of you people. You’re not allowed to be this funny during office hours. I’m going to a staff meeting soon and I know a couple of inappropriate giggle fits are coming because of this. Thanks bunches.

  78. Marcia
    April 17, 2014 at 10:17 am

    And to think I was gonna marry this fool in 1975! I was 16 and “Daddy’s Home” had come out. I got Jermaine’s picture and autograph at the Tower Record store in Hollywood. I wrote on back of the picture “THIS is My husband! I dodged a greasy, stiff, bullet!

  79. J.T.
    April 17, 2014 at 10:26 am

    A friend of mine said he melted all his unsold albums and brushef that in his hair to contribute to conservation during global earming.

    • April 17, 2014 at 11:04 am

      *DEAD* #DontTakeItPersonalRealness lol

  80. Nikki
    April 17, 2014 at 10:47 am

    It looks like he got Bigen’d and the person got the hiccups while applying it. The end results was the ripple effect. #askforyourmoneyback

  81. I don't know what kind of hair hat he has on, but all I know is he better stay away from anything flamable, or that thing is going to be permanently melted on his head.
    April 17, 2014 at 10:47 am

    I don’t know what kind of hair hat he has on, but all I know is he better stay away from anything flamable, or that thing is going to be permanently melted to his head. #HAM

  82. Fez
    April 17, 2014 at 10:48 am

    I thought the boy’s name was “Jermajesty”…

    • Fez
      April 17, 2014 at 10:53 am

      He looks like he uses Bigen “China Black” faithfully once a week, light rinse. Nothing else coats the scalp like that. I’ve seen many a stray hairline due to the magically power of that stuff.

  83. QueenSista
    April 17, 2014 at 10:57 am

    So none of y’all noticed he looks like Emmanuel “Webster” Lewis. IJS!!!
    https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQC5XfpaDU29N0pGUQPse606wfDEX3WYB-U38Yf14bnGI7pScsc

  84. Fort5
    April 17, 2014 at 10:59 am

    This is one of Pixars claymation characters. It’s all clay and sharpie! Getting ready for Pixars version of the Jackson 5.

  85. JustCAT
    April 17, 2014 at 11:00 am

    Dear Jermaine,
    Why don’t you do what you do when you did what you did to somebody else’s hair…
    Sincerely,
    Jackson 5 Fan before they went coo-coo for coco puffs….

    • April 17, 2014 at 11:43 am

      *DEAD*

    • lizzy
      April 18, 2014 at 1:39 am

      Graveyard dead. No tombstone.

  86. Bobbie C
    April 17, 2014 at 11:03 am

    An Armadillo comes to mind when I look at the sides of his “hairdo.”

  87. April 17, 2014 at 11:07 am

    all i know is that the Soul Glo sections of Coming To America were foreshadowing of WTF we see now on Mr ‘Jacksun’ (so damn stupid for that, too!). i’d bet GOOD Monopoly money that he leave oil slicks and grease patches whereever he goes like breadcrumbs, so his baby mamas can keep track of him for child support

  88. Debra
    April 17, 2014 at 11:16 am

    These comments have made my day, Iam laughing so hard it hurts. Poor Jermaine, he definitely did not look in the mirror before he let someone take ghost his picture. It’s a shame that he will not except his age with grace. True fact I have never seen a Jackson with gray hair. So wrong for all and any reason.

  89. April 17, 2014 at 11:23 am

    War between Chia Pet and Vigorol Relaxer. There is NO WINNER here.

    • mary burrell
      April 17, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      @ametia: NAWL! Not Vigorol Relaxer. LOL! LAWD!

  90. CVW
    April 17, 2014 at 11:28 am

    I think the boy is just totally bald and gray and for SOME super odd reason thinks the shoe polish on his head makes him look better/younger. As for what’s on top of his head, it’s not real “hair”…Looks like maybe he collected pieces of a shag rug, boiled it, dyed it black and glued the fibers together to create…what? As for the rolls on the side of his head, only thing I can think of are noodles painted black and he had plastic surgery to embed them on the side of his head…then decided to use black shoe polish to create a “wavy” look… The end result is a horrid look.

  91. Mimi
    April 17, 2014 at 11:32 am

    He got some mini-French rolls with a freeze on top. As for the makeup, I guess that is Armor All Foundation #31, mixed in with WD-40 Concealer and Monkey Blood Blush….chile, I don’t know what else to describe this look as, besides a ghetto Gulf Spill.

    • April 17, 2014 at 11:58 am

      *dead*

    • Noey
      April 17, 2014 at 2:34 pm

      Ghetto gulf spill tho…. I’m headed into the light. Tell my family i love them…

      • Mimi
        April 17, 2014 at 3:59 pm

        Take me with you…..these comments I’m reading will have me flatlining anytime soon….kmsl

  92. April 17, 2014 at 11:57 am

    It looks like he sprayed a pack of ramen noodles with Ron Popeil’s spray-on hair and then placed it gingerly on top of his peel-and-stick finger wave. I can’t!!

  93. Miz
    April 17, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    Ever seen wooden leather??

  94. April 17, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    he has reverse male pattern baldness and Benjamin Button baby hairs and he’s using the Chili technique to contour them to a sharp line up down the sides and back of his head with fitty-eleben quarter-size dollops *holds up hand to camera #teamnatural* of roof tar for super duper strong hold. he wraps it at night in a scarf made of black electrical tape.

    • MissTJ319
      April 17, 2014 at 4:37 pm

      Bwahahaha at ‘the chilli technique’ she has had ‘baby hair’ forever …ain’t she close to 50! Lol

  95. April 17, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    His whole head looks like Spongebob Squarepants’ house, down to the pineapple sides.

  96. April 17, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    O I see … I get it…

    He has a 3d tattoo on his head… But coincidentally, he is going gray….. So he used the finest mascara to fixed it up… You know the no clump formula…. I guess he figured, just like coloring, you could stroke in the same direction and create a sweet design…. Quite artistic if you ask me!!! Smh

  97. Duante
    April 17, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    N***a lookin like King Koopa. I’m through.

  98. Neema
    April 17, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    I have been wondering about this nuts head of idk for years. With his face tightened and that head, he looks like a doll. So maybe its all prosthetic hair piece. Why don’t he see that he looks a WHOLOE HOT MESS. This proves that with money you don’t have true friends or family in his case. Let one of my friends or family members come out like that, I am goin to keep it 100 and tell them about themselves. Let alone he been MARRIED how many times…they crazy too and money hungry. Walking round talking bout this my husband and smiling. He done wore this box style from the time it was in style, went out of style and now coming back. Lawd have mercy I can’t go on, I just can’t.

  99. somekiki
    April 17, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    That ain’t nothin but Beijeng black hair dye from mai-ling beauty supply on the corner of mlk ave. It penetrates the skin as well as scult. Its killer on the gray hair

  100. Petranilla
    April 17, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    I was wondering if it was a giant black tattoo!!! WAIT!! I KNOW!! IT’S OIL FROM THE EXXON VALDEZ!!!!! HE WAS THE CAUSE OF THE SPILL!!!!!!

  101. MissTJ319
    April 17, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    So he was the original actor cast in ‘faceoff’. They surgically removed his face and put it on a mannequin so the leather wouldn’t lose its shape. That’s why he’s got no facial hair…cause he has no hair follicles…. no eyebrows, eyelashes, mustache nada…just the molten ash from the incinerator that burned his leathery face that was transposed to his head in lieu of hair…

  102. Ashlee
    April 17, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    Jermaine Jackson looks like an escapee from Madame Tussaud’s. Like he must stay replacing pillowcases… there’s no way you can wash all that out

  103. Starberry
    April 17, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    That aint nothin but JAM and Bigen #59-Oriental black . Jermaine done bought out the company and my poor edges aint laid down right since 93

    • nichelle
      April 17, 2014 at 11:32 pm

      ______^_________^_______^__________________ *flatline* not since ’93 tho! LOL

  104. Vee
    April 17, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    (*sigh*…) Jesus be a lifetime supply of blotting paper. And deliver Thyself with haste to Jermaine’s doorstep. Amen.

  105. thetruth
    April 17, 2014 at 5:39 pm

    This is really how Michael should have looked too.

    They woulda been two Greasy N*ggas

  106. Charlene
    April 17, 2014 at 5:45 pm

    The shade…..I love my people.

    • Tekiebelu
      April 17, 2014 at 11:09 pm

      You can’t outdo Black folks! Lol

  107. Anette
    April 17, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    What the eff is Jermaine Jackson doing? He looks like a black Ken doll with that hair. And his skin? I’m not sure if he looks like a raspberry fruit roll up or a bootleg Louis Vuitton bag. Ugh. Just looking at him makes me want to put on some daggone lotion. Gross.

  108. mary burrell
    April 17, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    What in the seven fiery rings of hell is going on with Jermaine’s hair and skin? He is just bizarre looking.But all these comments have been so entertaining.

  109. mary burrell
    April 17, 2014 at 6:41 pm

    Who is this man’s stylist? And how much money does he pay this person to do this to him?

  110. Mamasup
    April 17, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    I could read the foolery going on here all day, except I would be fired for having inappropriate outbursts of screams and laughter!

  111. Matador1015
    April 17, 2014 at 7:51 pm

    I imagine his next tour will be sponsored by Armor-All.

  112. April 17, 2014 at 8:15 pm

    The black delegation would like to swap Jermaine Jacksun in return to have Nick Cannon back on the black side.

  113. April 17, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    Murrays’ Bees Wax + Jam Conditioning and Shinning Gel after 5 minute BLACK Hair Color rinse and one skull cap to make those super waves!

  114. Theron N
    April 17, 2014 at 8:34 pm

    Not a clean sheet in the house

  115. Tedra
    April 17, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    That ain’t nothin’ but the pink bottle jazzin, hair dye, jet black, and a pineapple that hit him in the head while he was waiting for the dye to work itself in. Don’t worry baby, we can rinse it out. Come on over ta da sink baby!

  116. kee kee
    April 17, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    That poor man’s ultra perm took a turn for the worse..

  117. Donna jo
    April 17, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    He is rockin’ the level 16 sixteen Hawaiian silky waves that cause immediate motion sickness upon visualization. This my friends can only be accomplished by Let’s Jam Gel- Extra Firm hold

  118. Jet Girl
    April 17, 2014 at 10:00 pm

    He’s become the prototype for his eponymous action figure doll available soon in the toy department at your friendly neighborhood walmart.

  119. sherriedes
    April 17, 2014 at 10:28 pm

    Its like he glued a fresh packet of Bobby puns to the side of his head, or used shellac on a packet of dry taken noodles, I just……..

    • sherriedes
      April 17, 2014 at 10:33 pm

      Ugh damn auto correct I meant Bobbie pins/ Ramen noodles. Stupid spelling mistakes ruin all the funny!!!!

  120. Brenya Yvonne
    April 17, 2014 at 10:40 pm

    0_O.. Jermaine’s stylist has been located…Hey mike wazzup!

    • April 18, 2014 at 11:07 am

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  121. Der
    April 17, 2014 at 11:46 pm

    The latest from floor depot: Jackson’s head to be used as floor samples: laminate face and sides: available in leather brown and faux tight wave. Top shown is shag carpet, grease edition. Available at a floor depot near you. *Not available at all locations. use at your own risk.

  122. Pee
    April 17, 2014 at 11:59 pm
    • Pee
      April 18, 2014 at 12:00 am

      Chris Spencer talks about Jermaine’s hair!

  123. Lincoln
    April 18, 2014 at 12:37 am

    I know the top of that head anywhere…he scalped Kid from Kid and Play!!

  124. Xarmen
    April 18, 2014 at 1:53 am

    Ok you all I can’t laugh anymore my stomach hurtd

  125. Cook Jenkinz
    April 18, 2014 at 2:00 am

    If Thomas the Train caught on fire, this is what he would look like once the fire was extinguished.

  126. DSS
    April 18, 2014 at 2:20 am

    This is what happens when all the crazy inside your head starts coming out through your scalp.

  127. Moni
    April 18, 2014 at 9:16 am

    Ya’ll know he playing DaShawn ShoNuff (aka Danny Zuko in white version)in the all black production of “DAX” (aka “GREASE”), a Tyler Perry Production…

    DAX IS THE WORD y’all…

  128. Linda
    April 18, 2014 at 9:17 am

    mascara

  129. Dani
    April 18, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    All I can say is lawd help the pillowcases. He must ruin em nightly!

  130. Markalus
    April 18, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    I’m seriously at a loss for words. May we bow our heads and pray.

    Father God, I first of all want to thank you for the talent that has come from the Jackson family for we all know that which we call Michael and Janet are two of the most legendary performers ever. Father we also thank you for LaToya Jackson for giving us all a good kee kee every so often at her expense. But Lord, I also want to give you a hearty thanks, for one Mr. Jermaine “Slick Wig” Jacksun. Lord, I ask that you bless him from the top of his spongy topped head to the soles of is feet. Lord I ask that you touch this man and absorb ALL the oil from his face and shrink those pores father. Be a Clarisonic facial scrub and eliminate the enemies oil from his skin and bathe him in the essence of an oil free moisturizer. All these things and many more we ask in your matchless name. In sweet chocolatey Jesus name we pray. Amen.

    • Adwoa
      April 22, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      CAN. YOU. NOT. “Be a Clarisonic facial scrub and eliminate the enemies oil from his skin and bathe him in the essence of an oil free moisturizer.” I just can’t with you, I can’t. I done laughed myself into a migraine

  131. BLynne
    April 18, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    He looks like Pokey… Ya know Gumby’s friend.

  132. Liz
    April 18, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    It looks like a massive oil spill is washing ashore on the beach of his face.

  133. Jaz
    April 18, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    He looks like one of those claymation figures from brother Michael’s Moonwalker movie in the Speed demon clip, with his Day-Glo Orange leather car seat skin and hair that looks like a brillo pad painted black.

  134. lola757
    April 19, 2014 at 6:38 am

    Oh the tears! I woke up the baby…it was worth it!

  135. empressMUA
    April 19, 2014 at 11:48 pm

    I first thought he went and got a few pieces of yarn and cut it up and plastered it all over his head, with a glue stick, then he got creative and got that black spray paint to give it that vintage realness. but when my two year old daughter came walking by and stopped to glance at the computer screen and she so softly stated “look mommy, he color his hair with crayons” that’s when I knew it was over. Jermaine and that Crayola black custom sculpted side slick though. lmgdao dead!

    • April 20, 2014 at 11:03 pm

      Ma’am, your daughter wins this whole thing.

  136. steph
    April 21, 2014 at 3:05 am

    It’s a Gary thing. In the early 1990s, truck carrying jheri curl activator had a spill in Gary, Ind. People were scooping it up off the street. True story (really!). I think this is use of residual spill content that’s been hanging around for a while.

  137. […] P.S. If we can make dead artists perform, why can’t we figure out whatever is sitting on Jermaine Jackson’s scalp? […]

  138. Charly
    May 20, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    Jermaine hair has a texturizer and that black spray that men use to cover their bald spots. He just sprayed it all over, put spritz on and sat under the dryer. Look at his hairline. Its black spray.

  139. Shay
    May 20, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    SMH at Mr. JACKSUN (appropriately named because apparently he looks golden fried like a piece of KFC sealed in a honey glaze. Either that, or he’s greasing his face with a Vaseline and Pancake 31 mixture. His hair…freshly shellacked tufts in the top, with rugged corduroy panels on the side, colored with the finest of Kiwi black shoe polish!

    His family along with Stevie Wonder’s all need their ass beat for allowing these hair faux pas. Y’all posed ta help dem see the errors of dey ways… SMH…

  140. May 20, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    Sometimes when people have enough money they get carried away and literally SPOILed themselves.

  141. AARP Barbie
    May 20, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    i done tol’ y’all its TATTED on! he has paid someone a TON of GOOD $$ to draw him some permanent hair WIT WAVES! #pillcrazy

  142. May 20, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    I am dying.. trying to magnify the pic to make it bigger so I can investigate the madness…

  143. G Roc
    May 21, 2014 at 11:19 am

    Who cares I don’t know him personally and neither do any of y’all. that’s what’s wrong with black people today They spend so much time talking about other people and putting them down They they don’t have enough time to bring themselves up. everybody needs to stop hating and do something to make this bitch ass country better wake up people black is beautiful let’s keep it that way

  144. Enkay Gee
    May 21, 2014 at 11:39 am

    Y’all know Jermaine done applied an entire can of Murray’s pomade to his head! He just forgot to apply the warm towel afterwards. We must learn to follow directions!

  145. Brittany
    May 21, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    i cant.

  146. Jeremiah
    May 25, 2014 at 6:52 pm

    The most disturbing thing about Jerkmaine is his prissy little attitude. What an effing fruit. The whole world wants to show your wife what a real man is like.
    We all saw her light up when she got her an eyeful of the Baldwin boy.

  147. […] takes a village to let people know when they look a fool. Outchea looking like Jermaine Jackson’s understudy. I’m […]

  148. Bevi
    August 31, 2014 at 4:32 pm

    I was under the impression that his scalp is a black tattoo.

  149. CocoUpHigh
    September 29, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    Fried, dyed, and laid to the side, and A. MESS!

  150. James
    October 1, 2014 at 12:53 am

    He looks like a black Umpa-lumpa with a Krispy Kreme glaze…
    Like he’s auditioning for Blade the Musical…
    Looks like what happens when you soak for hours in blessed oil…smh

  151. Kels
    November 12, 2014 at 10:51 pm

    I came back here because of the Devante Swing #PhonytailGate. I am so effing high from the endorphins generated from the 3 hours of laughter from the comments on Devante’s Doberman Pinscher tail that I needed more of a fix. Like a crackhead. Like Devante.

  152. Pink
    December 6, 2014 at 5:59 am

    That’s a really nice 27 pieces…..

  153. Dawn
    December 6, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    It looks like he dipped a wafer of ramen in tar and glued it onto to his sharpied edges.

  154. Aura Jae
    February 17, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    I feel like he duck taped out his “hair line” and told his child to have at it with the midnight black shoe polish as for the ramen noddles he burnt tryna boil them with out water on top I suspect a glue gun is how he got that to say. Matte deficiency? Hunny coconut oil is always the answer. Solution? Sprinkle some glitter add a spot light since he love thoes and he could be a cool black disco ball #diy #pintrest #etsy

  155. […] I really feel like Jermaine Jackson is trolling us all, at this point. He GOTTA BE. How can one man be so clueless about how hot of a mess his hair is? Every time we see him, he somehow manages to make himself even more laughable. That is a gift and I thank him for the medicine of laughter. I already talked about how he got something on his scalp and it’s a mystery. […]

  156. YvMarie
    December 13, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    What’s with his lips? His cold sores have cold sores! Ewwww!

  157. Ayci
    January 12, 2016 at 7:49 pm
  158. Amore
    February 14, 2017 at 1:25 am

    I get it. It’s very strange. I have thought this for years and wondered what is going on? Looking now, I’m still puzzled that people with money ever have bad hair.
    This is my shallow comment.

    Delving a little deeper, I watched for the first time in years, the full version of the Jackson 5 story, American Dream, I think it’s called. I have always thought in recent years how much Jermaine looks like the Tin Man from The Wiz. After watching their story, I find it to be no coincidence really, his resemblance to the character. How odd, and haunting that the Tin Man wanted a heart. He also needed to be released. He was left like junk. I read somewhere where he thought he should’ve been the one with the stardom. Also when he refused to leave Motown when his father urged he did to remain with his brothers, he was really torn. That must’ve been heart wrenching for him. We are all affected differently by tragedy. Some people never really truly recover. Then there was also their family religion. That in of itself, no disrespect to anyone reading this that is of that faith, but there were further restraints there that not many people can understand nor endure. I have heard horror stories of the affects that religion has had on people and their families if they decide to leave etc.

    As a young girl, I always thought Jermaine was the handsomest one of all. I was in love, a little, while everyone else was loving our beloved Michael. Fact is, these men were all broken in my opinion. I looked at another clip of them performing “The Love You Save” on the Ed Sullivan Show. Something caught my eye. To the audience, these young men were performers and they were loved. To them however, their performance was mingled with pain and fear. While I’m sure they had some good times in their closeness with one another, they were playing for the life, their livelihood and at the command of their father. Joe Jackson meant business. He had his children well trained, and they feared him. From what I can tell this man was a driven man that was going to make it all cost. What we see today and have seen with the famed Jackson 5 are casualties of his drive and desire. I can’t speak on this man. I don’t know his hurt, but his actions got great and poor results.

    We never know a person’s true story. We can laugh and point fingers, but there is always a reason for what we call crazy. Many of us have no idea what it must’ve been like to be raised in a family like theirs, in their time, with that type pressure and much of their childhood taken. Pain manifests in many ways, and in my opinion, this man that favors the Tin Man does so well because he like the tin man needs to be released from his pain. The pain has been so deep and covered for so long, that where the place his heart should be, could be an empty cavity, deteriorated by much hurt.

    It’s strange, but it’s not really a laughing matter. I pray that even in his old age, Jermaine find true joy and freedom like he’s never known. That love’s oil releases him where he is obviously immobilized and he gets to the heart of the matter for himself.