Whose Uncle’s Unibraid is This?

Sometimes, you gotta stand up and claim your kin even in the face of foolery. Like Coolio, who refuses to let go of his struggle braids, despite the fact that his head looks like the red sea parted.

Last year, I stumbled upon the gift below. Someone’s uncle was walking around with a unibraid on his scalp like it was ok and I just wonder why.


But… why? And which one of you braided your uncle’s hair into this one lonely line? I’m so anti the ability to can right now. I’m just unable to come up with the logic that told this man that the move was to walk out the house with a line of hair behind his ear and not much else. Bless his heart.

My readers are notoriously foolish and their comments on my Facebook fan page had me in tears.

“Another member of the Stevie Wonder School of Follicular Denial, I see…” – ENB

“That poor braid is just sittin’ on the dock of the bay, wastin’ time.” – RG

“Who put this comma on this man’s head?” – AJS

“All my life, I had to fight…” – EW

“I keeeeeeeeeep holdin’ onnnnnnnnnnnn…” – STM

“Remember in “Wrath of Khan” when that alien bug crawled into Chekov’s ear…?” – DD

“I thought he had stiches, oops” – KRD

“So, why would a person need a zipper on their head?” – APE

“I thought someone hit him with a sickle At least its not in the middle of the fat roll *shrugs*” – AP

“Refusing to let go of the *snickers* final strand of his youth…” – RT

“This is what happens when you fall asleep while your,granddaughter has a hot glue gun, and a pack of tracks.” – JCP

“that’s a hair illusion, he turn the right way and the rest of the braids appear all fresh and shiny lol” – KJR

“This looks like some sort of alien Bluetooth device.” – WR

“Sad lonely braid – no different then those folks running around with a receding hairline that’s trying to get away from them” – RW

“He may have braid twin on the other side.” – SH

“I know you gone let my Pawpaw have his Lonely Sew-in Plait… He is what he is #QuickWeave Survivor” – LKB

“Lives in a house with no mirrors!” – MJ

LMAOOOO! I can’t e’em deal. But yeah… which one of your uncles is this? Also, why did y’all let him show up at the church barbeque like this? You ain’t right AT ALL.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Nikko C. April 9, 2014, 1:30 pm

    At least the braid is neat. That’s all I got. SMDH. Y’all play too much.

  • Tanya April 9, 2014, 2:03 pm

    Well at least he didn’t add beads!

    • Christie April 9, 2014, 6:47 pm

      I. Just. Died.

  • Eve Tey April 9, 2014, 2:17 pm

    Just think about how awesome the braidout would be LMAO

    • Beks April 9, 2014, 5:40 pm


    • BlackmonarchNY April 13, 2014, 10:17 am

      /\__/\______/\_______/\_______________________________________ :: Flatlined!!!!

  • Sheena April 9, 2014, 2:21 pm

    Ummmmm lol. *hits on mic to make sure it’s on* Scuse me??? This brother here is not the one to blame. There is a bigger issue…My only question and concern is WHO braided it. #whyithappened lmao!!! That’s who needs to be slapped rite nannnn! *drops mic*

  • Jabari April 9, 2014, 3:46 pm

    Sir, that is a whole ringworm on the head and I’m gonna need you work with that #kthxbai

    • Queennbm July 7, 2014, 9:12 am

      I just died!

  • ametia April 9, 2014, 3:46 pm

    Dude can start his own reality show titled: “THE “BRAIDY” BUNCH”

  • Literary bombshell April 9, 2014, 4:03 pm

    It’s a reverse Cassie.

    • Emti April 9, 2014, 11:20 pm


  • Faiza April 10, 2014, 9:01 am

    I died at the hair illusion comment!!!! #icannot

  • FoxyForty April 10, 2014, 1:47 pm

    Why does the rolls on the back of his head remind me of Homer Simpson’s lips? #LookAtTheWholePicturePeople

    • jimmy April 10, 2014, 4:36 pm

      Why? Just why? I am literally sitting in the church while my son rehearses for this play and I snorted and almost said ooh shit-IN A CHURCH!!!! Homer Simpson. D`oh! I am so embarrassed.

  • Juana April 11, 2014, 3:18 am

    *singing in my best Toni Braxton voice*
    Unbraid my part…

    • ametia April 11, 2014, 11:03 am

      BHA HA HA HA

    • Nicole November 14, 2014, 11:11 pm

      Lol…I can hear Tony Braxton in my head singing unbraid my part…oh oh help me…I am in tears…

  • Ashlee April 12, 2014, 1:18 am

    The bottom of the braid is sitting on his 2nd fat roll… why that bothers so much, I don’t know. But the least he could do is hire Steve Harvey’s head buffer (You know he has one)to come shine up the rest of his head

  • Latrisha November 15, 2014, 12:43 am

    I can’t deal. Who approved? Looking like uncle brown on one side.

  • Yolanda December 7, 2014, 11:51 pm

    Looking like his granddaughter took to his head with some clippers and was allllllmost done when……paw paw woke up…..LOL