This Bridal Party’s Drunk in Love Routine is a Mess
In my Facebook newsfeeds for the past coupla days has been a video of a bridal party and their dance routine at a wedding reception. It’s 5 women who actually hired a choreographer and put together this whole thing and I watched it. And you should too.
I’d cuss out every member of my bridal party if they pulled this stunt at my classy ass wedding. I mean, I’d retch (not reach, but retch) back and find some insults that involves ancestors and shaming family names. I ain’t lying. You bitties ain’t bout to come here and show out on my special day with your Apollo Night routine. WHERE IS SANDMAN SAM???
Let’s talk about all the pause-worthy stuff in this video (there’s so much).
1. These alphets, though. So they really put together a group ensemble made of lycra, spandex and high slits just for this occasion. I know someone’s Instagram designer did this too. I just knowed it. The chick in the blue bottom in the front. Is that the bride? Why does hers stand out? Maybe she’s the matron of honor.
Also, why are they barefoot?
b. Why is the girl closest to the camera giving this her ALL like she’s auditioning for “So You Think You Can Twerk?” I bet she has/had dance dreams and this is her way of living it out. I ain’t mad, girl. Giving it 105%.
iii. The fact that they’re being enabled by the wedding guests too, getting cheered on and everything. Folks talmbout “ALRIGHT!!!” This wedding was full of birds. I’da been there looking like Stewie from Family Guy.
4. Are all the groomsmen single? Because if they’re not, the lapdance they attempted to give them is lowkey disrespectful. Those men looked nervous too like “aw shit.” I bet there are wives and girlfriends standing in the crowd FUMING. When you signed up to support your boy on his special day, I bet you ain’t sign up to be cussed out by your woman for letting Tammy an’ ’em jig on your crotch.
e. If they wanted to bodyroll for the groomsmen, why didn’t they do it at the bachelorette party? And those solos. They each needed a moment of glory and I’m wondering why.
If they don’t go surfboardt on a gahtdamb SEAT and stay there. I wanna blame Beyonce for this but this ain’t her fault. Bey was Drunk in Love on a beach, not at someone’s wedding reception.
iSweaterGAWD I’d go to the DJ and tell him to cut off the music if my wedding party surprised me with this. I’d make him start playing some Boyz II Men, possibly “End of the Road” to let them know they’re done and relieved of their duties.
I wonder if the bride asked for this. I know if I was a bridesmaid (I’ve been one 3 times) and was asked to do a routine like this, I’d be all “Yeah about that? Nah. Not gon happen. Maybe I should just be a guest.” I’d do a bridal party wobble all day long. WAS THE WOBBLE BUSY?!? Why did this have to be the dance?
Bless their hearts. Whatcha’ll think? Would you want your girls to do this at your reception or would you not have it?