I Caught Up with Season 3 of Love and Hip Hop ATL’s First 3 Eps
After I saw the trailer to this season’s Love and Hip Hop Atlanta (LHHATL), I was geeked up and ready to get back into the drama of these fools. We all know that the name of the show isn’t relevant because these folks are really a bad example of what love looks like and they’re all only marginally successful (at best) in Hip Hop. Well, with the exception of Stevie J.
I don’t care, though. I had missed Joseline an’ ’em. So I went on ahead and watched all three episodes of the season since I didn’t catch them while on vacation. I am all caught up and here to give you the happenings.
* Joseline and Stevie J are now married, and they did it at a courthouse on June 29 last year. Now, she’s ready to wear the fancy white dress and be the blushing bride. Oh and they got a new house that looks like the train station where Harry met Dumbledore after he died from Voldemort’s spell. It’s all white and shiny.
* Scrappy is now with Bambi, the chick who won’t quit until she appears on every VH1 reality TV show that is currently on. Momma Dee ain’t feeling that pairing and she’s still doing her best to be Jafar from the Lion King. Scrappy is still suffering from Aint Shitness, a chronic disease that lets you go to another woman’s house at night time and think it’s ok but you know it isn’t because you didn’t tell your girlfriend. His “friend” Erica had candles all lit up, setting the mood. Meanwhile, Bambi’s apparently pregnant now because Mona and them filmed her picking up an EPT all dramatic-like.
One day, folks are gon realize that condoms are our friends. Especially when the man we’ve only been with for 3 months couldn’t keep his peen in his pants if he was getting paid to do it.
* Erica got a new boo named O’Shea and she said he’s a professional model. Yup, and I’m a rocket scientist. O_o He’s the anti-Scrappy, apparently and doesn’t drink or smoke. He is also mad corny. Dude was taking off his shirt at the bowling alley while rocking a snapback with “O’Shea the Model” on it. But here’s what caused the pause. After their date with Karlie and her boo, he asks Erica for her card to pay the bill. I hope she knew in advance that she was gon be footing ALL their bills. There’s nothing wrong with us ladies paying from time to time but this dude seems like the one who will conveniently say he forgot his wallet. On 5 dates. I bet he got bad credit too.
* Mimi and Nikko are in lust and she’s so comfortable with him that she makes a sex tape and leaves it with him. According to Sid the Sloth, he left his camera in his luggage when they traveled and it got stolen. The tape “leaked” so they thought to make the most out of it by signing a deal. Then he told Stevie J and they almost fisticuffed because of it. She still says she trusts him even though it’s clear that he leaked that shit but when they get into an argument about it, she jumps out her car in rage and walks.
That is dumb as hell. How are you gon put yourself out your own property while the idiot you’re mad it is sitting comfortably in the passengers seat? That is what I call hustling backwards. Mimi perpetually needs a mentor.
* Karlie is dating Yung Joc and trying to force him to move in with her because she doesn’t trust him. She figures that if they live together, she can keep better tabs on him. The woman is such a damb pigeon and a caricature hoodrat. Someone should make her the protagonist of a street lit book because that’s what she’s committed to living her life like. And then she goes in the studio with Jeremih (wut?) and they start flirting all heavily. As they get all close to each other, Joc walks in and hell breaks loose as they proceed to cuss each other out.
He says he ain’t moving in with her and she shrieks like the bird she is. Oh hood love… they’ll be back together next week probably.
* Rasheeda has a new baby (Carter) and Kirk is still unsure whether the baby is his. Oh and he doesn’t want her to get back to making music and he doesn’t want her mama (Shirleen) babysitting. He says he has a problem with her kissing the baby on the mouth, which I get. I hate when folks do that. Anywho, because he’s a terrible human being, he goes behind Rasheeda’s back and tests the baby. Surprising to NO ONE, Carter is his, and he’s so bold in his degenerateness that he wants to take the results home to show her but Benzino burns it and tells him he’s being disrespectful. I really wonder how she hasn’t kicked him in the face as he sleeps. He is *Jean Ralphio voice* THE WORST!!!
Speaking of Benzino,
he still ain’t retrieved a neck from somewhere he’s with some chick named Althea now and they met on Twitter. She’s a singer who says she’s signed to Def Jam but you know. She might be lying. Bless their union, doe. Him and Stevie J are talmbout opening “Sleezy and Zino’s Bistro and Bar.” Oh Atlanta… never change.
There’s also Tammy, Waka Flocka’s girlfriend on the show. Chile… womp.
So that’s been the gist of what’s happened so far. I’ll be back with my regular recap of each episode on Monday.
Have y’all been watching this season’s LHHATL?