So I Got a Love Note on Facebook
Facebook is the place where people get to try out their best efforts in flirting. Folks’ Nigerians uncles are forever trying out their best lines too. Last week, I received a message on my Awesomely Luvvie Facebook fan page and I didn’t know whether I was being trolled or if there’s someone who actually believes that this is how you woo a lady you’ve never met or spoken to or had any exchanges with.
Let’s read, shall we?
Brother Osei went IN! I didn’t have the words so I posted it on my personal page and below is what folks had to say.
“Girl you better get yo Prince! Lmao.” – WNW
“Libra Scales? Now I’m imagining some dude posing like that awful Ne-Yo album cover while yelling this from the roof of a building.” – M
“Is someone learning English?” – LY
“What kinda Illuminati sorcery love spell is he tryna put on you?!?” – CR
“He unleashed his inner poetress on this good day” – PGY
“Girl, you better jump on that palm wine!” – BD
“In my best Liz Lemon voice: “I want to go to this place of golden mysteries and polka dotted forests.” – ADM
“LMAO!! This is everything I needed and more on today. Sir, what?! *pours out some palm wine for his blessed little heart*” – AE
“His word is bond! Holla back at that man!” – TSK
“Look, he out here trying to get chosen. You berra shine your eyes well well” – OO
“Luvvie, he chooses YOU. Read between all these flowery lines, know you just got chose by a spoken word poet and sip your calabash of palm wine.” – PGY
“Teach me how to light a heart chakra. TEACH ME THINE WAYS, LUVVIE!” – NJS
“I don die!!!! See interweb love in full blown splendor” – FS
“Apparently those “calabashes of palm wine” done took him somewhere none of us have ever been..where the forests have polka dots and where there are underwater castles in the sky. What is this palm wine?? Do they sell that at the lika sto’?” – CCA
“Musta got that Groupon on “calabashes of palm wine”. – WJ
“That’s real fake deep. *applauds and snaps*” – CD
“Yeah he had me “calabashes of palm wine.” Osei you’ve been on one too many acid trips talkin bout “world of golden mysteries in underwater castles is d sky.” On THIS DAY we all weren’t ready.” – JO
“*jealous* nobody loves me enough to make up words and speak contradictions. hmmph!” – SL
“Yes gawd!! If he through in Lupita, unicorn tears and goats milk I would have died! #leyomidrops I’m here for this fan cypher” – CG
“I can’t stop reading this! I get something new out of it every TAHM. “My pen writes ink drops on rainbows” iLive!!!” – CCA
“I’m greeting people like this for the rest of the day:
Hello/hiiiiiiii, hello/hiiiiiiii, helloHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” – KKH
“all this, no picture. Maybe that is why the palm wine features so prominently.” – RIJ
“That brother is smooth, like coarse sand paper topped with gravel.” – SFR
“If he plays guitar while reciting this you betta POUNCE ON HIM LUVVIE!” – DM
“LMAOOOOOO, Girl he’s tryna align yo chakras!!!! Go head and getchu a based god bf!!” – BJ
HA! Please refer to me as Goddess Awesomely Luvvie henceforth. I will respond to nothing less. Also, all other love notes I receive from now on better measure up to this or they are null and void!
Whatcha’ll think of Brother Osei and his Love Jonesing? Are you taking notes for your profile on BlackPeopleMeet.com?” You just picked up some tips for OKCupid, didn’t you? Admit it. You’re welcome!