Solange Tried to Mollywhop Jay-Z in an Elevator and I Haz Questions
Ok. Monday is getting off to an interesting start. TMZ dropped the tea and receipts of how Solange went all Mortal Kombat on Jay-Z in an elevator at the Met Gala as Beyonce watches and her bodyguard Julius intervenes. The video had me like WAYMENT!!! WUT?!
I have so many questions. SO MANY!
1. What made Solange fight her in-law? I mean full on “I wanna scratch your face” off attack. That isn’t some small offense. That’s the “I’m sick of your shit and it’s time you get it” stuff. What did Jay-Z do? Was she protecting Beyonce? Did he say some slick shit? WHAPPENED?? It had to be real serious because the level of gusto she used to come at him was epic.
AND THEN the fact that Bey left the Gala with Solange and Jay took a separate car. Chile… he really must have royally messed up. OR she wanted the chance to snatch her sister’s wig for embarrassing her in public. OR she was like “Thanks for coming to my defense, sis.”
ALL THE SPECULATIONS! I HAZ THEM!
b. Was this a first time fight? I’m asking because this situation doesn’t seem necessarily jarring to any of the parties. Jay-Z knew how to hold her off like he’s had to before and Bey was basically all “YAWN Julius get her off him.”
iii. Why is Beyonce so damb cool allatahm? She maintained decorum and couth as this madness was happening. The only time she really moved was towards the end to put a little bit of space between Solange’s kicking legs and Jay because she probably thought the elevator door was gon open. Solo needed to calm down before it did and that was her bid for it.
GWIRL… this video. So much to unpack.
Many people are asking why Beyonce didn’t do much. What was she supposed to do? Whatever happened that made Solange go all Street Fighter, we might not know. But what is Mrs. Knowles-Carter supposed to do in that moment? She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Besides, her bodyguard gets paid to keep bodies separate so she let him do his job. She probably cussed one (or both) of them out afterwards though. A lady like her keeps her cool in public.
4d. Seriously. What happened? I need to know because I’m nosy.
e. Why am I dreading the aftermath of this fight? Between the memes and the thinkpieces that are about to come from this, I’ma wanna fight everyone myself by Wednesday. Already, the memes have started that Jay-Z got his ass whooped. He did not. He got struck by a woman and didn’t strike back (thankfully). Relax. And You. Yes, the one about to write a 5,000 word thinkpiece about Domestic Violence and Black Women based on that video. STAHP. We don’t want it. Thanks, though!
Let the record show that I am saying that this isn’t a good look for either party involved. For the tight machine that is the Knowles-Carter PR team, this is a snafu that hasn’t been seen til now. I wonder how they’ll handle it. There is trouble in paradise.
But ummm… we all shoulda known that anyone who rocks plaid, polka dots and leopard print all in the same #alphet ain’t afraid to fight. I’ma go, doe.
Chile… whatcha’ll think about this?
Edit: I just saw the extended version and it seems to give it a tad bit more context, as Solange looks like she’s having an argument of one and her refusal to chill is apparent. It seems that they exchanged a lotta words and Bey was looking like she tried to calm her down a little bi. But Solo wasn’t having it. She kept tryna go for Jay-Z. So much! I keep watching the video and pressing my volume increase button as if some audio is gon magically come out my speakers. O_o