Culture

Westboro Baptist Better Have a Gahtdamb Seat!

Westboro Baptist is a boil on all of our collective asses. They’re to Christians what those Jim Crow cartoons from the 1920s are to Disney. We try to dust them under our shoe and act like we don’t know them. But like the roaches they are, they stay coming back. We do not claim those asshats.

Westboro is less of a church and more of a cult of cracky racists, homophobes and allergens to sense. They are so obnoxious with their protests. Those hapless and hopeless hatebuckets would probably picket the rapture because they thought the beast with no neck was gay. I wish they’d just sit their monkey asses down somewhere. Even the KKK hates them. That’s how you KNOW you are the worst.

http://luvvie.me/1izIOIs

LMAO at the dude in the front. I bet they were upset at him!

Rumor is that they’re talmbout protesting Dr. Maya Angelou’s funeral and even for habitual linesteppers, they might go too far this time.

Y’all know we don’t play with Mother Maya. This might be the protest where they all get their asses whooped. I know violence ain’t the answer but sometimes, you just wanna chin-check these hoes to make them feel pain momentarily for being such shitty human beings.

If they come disturb the peace at Aunty Maya’s fune, they might don’t make it. I’m just saying. Yes, they have freedom of speech and freedom of protest but that freedom doesn’t mean I won’t dropkick you in the face because of what you said. Be outchea like:

dropkicks gif 2

FREE DEEZ!

I know those of us with jobs and lives and things to lose can’t just walk up to one of them and give them atomic wedgies. But is Huck busy? I mean, can we get Cyrus to make a call to Charlie? I’m just asking… for a friend. I just want to give them all papercuts and dip their hands in rubbing alcohol. Dassit.

I wish the folks of Westboro Baptist would have an everlasting seat some damb where. Jesus is mad at them as they keep invoking his name to spew all of this hate in the world. They keep telling everyone who Christ hates and God’s son is prolly somewhere like “JUST YOU IDIOTS!”

Ugh.

NO KANK YOU! WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF, Westboro!

worry bout yourself gif

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82 Comments

  1. May 30, 2014 at 11:37 am

    Amen.

  2. Ebony
    May 30, 2014 at 11:39 am

    But wait why are they gonna protest at her funeral???

    • May 30, 2014 at 11:44 am

      Because they’re classless, clueless and have nothing better to do.

      • Max
        May 30, 2014 at 1:08 pm

        And they are the equivalent of folks who fake slip n’ falls in supermarkets so they can sue. They WANT someone to go upside their heads. Pookie, Ray Ray and nem will happily oblige.

    • Phillip
      May 30, 2014 at 12:43 pm

      Because Maya Angelou supported gay rights. And because they [think they] can. They’re going to end up thinking they can into a can of whoop a$$ if they keep fandangoing with foolishness.

      • Gracie
        May 30, 2014 at 3:29 pm

        “fandangoing with foolishness” is a perfect summary of what this is, if it happens. Thank you Phillip.

  3. Michele
    May 30, 2014 at 11:41 am

    I’ve always said that Westboro was gonna roll up on the wrong funeral one day. I think that day is here.

    Sure they WANT to provoke a fight so they can sue the “assaulter” (it’s no accident they’re all lawyers), but Dr. Angelou was the world’s Auntie/Grandmother and there are more than a few folks who would gladly take one for the team. You know Oprah would hook them up with the best lawyer money can buy to beat the rap.

    Please proceed, Westboro kooks.

    • Coquinegra
      May 30, 2014 at 12:57 pm

      This is the day. Because there are too many of us with enough money to post bail who are not here for no foolishness at Dr. Angelou’s home-going service! I will drop a fool quick if I have to and stroll out of lock-up like Vera & her 9 toes.

      • May 30, 2014 at 2:43 pm

        DYING! I love me some Aunty Vera!

        “Kiss my ass, Quick!”

        • NannyKells
          May 31, 2014 at 8:41 pm

          Lmmfao!

      • NannyKells
        May 31, 2014 at 8:43 pm

        I’d put my rent money on them books. I’m calling all the goons out on they simple assets.

        • NannyKells
          May 31, 2014 at 8:44 pm

          Asses*… auto correct I know what the hell I’m trying to say!

  4. jcanwisegrrl
    May 30, 2014 at 11:46 am

    I wonder which God these imbeciles serve? Calling themselves a church when their whole shtick is to spread hate and venom. That is NOT the Gospel that Jesus came to bring. That is NOT why He laid down his life, so a bunch of misguided religious fanatics could make a spectacle. SMH at these people!

  5. Mona
    May 30, 2014 at 11:51 am

    Oh Luvvie.. Luvvie Luvvie Luvvie. IWAMFW.

    I said on twitter this morning if Westboro does go to Maya’s funeral it might be the *last* one they protest.

    Sometimes you gotta mess with the right one to learn.

    They gon’ learn, chile.

    • Kawanis
      May 30, 2014 at 1:18 pm

      That’s exactly what I was thinking. They REALLY might want to rethink that.

    • ASNYC621
      May 30, 2014 at 1:54 pm

      “Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my god do you learn.” C.S. Lewis

      That quote sums up the learning process of stunt queens. They don’t comprehend the possible consequences to pulling stunts and shows everywhere until someone duck walks all over their faces. You can’t tell them, “Don’t do that. It’s wrong and you might get chin checked.” Stunt queens aren’t trying to hear that because they live for public foolishness and being obnoxious. Stunt queens they aren’t here for good sense and kindness. They have to learn with experience, the experience being a beat down or worse.

  6. May 30, 2014 at 11:53 am

    Luvvie, you spoke ALL of my mind in this piece! I’m so damn sick of these fools and their annoying antics. You said it all with “Westboro Baptist is a boil on all our collective asses.”

  7. badactor
    May 30, 2014 at 11:57 am

    This is when all of the sudden the “knock out” game doesn’t seem like such a bad game after all…

  8. Nika Nik
    May 30, 2014 at 11:57 am

    This is a case for the neighborhood Deebos. Every hood got them don’t care not one second about going to jail to just stand in front of them. Bet not a peep would be made.

  9. Me Talk Pretty
    May 30, 2014 at 11:59 am

    I would say they need Jesus, but in this case even Jesus is like.. “Nawl, I’m busy”…

    • CK
      June 24, 2014 at 11:36 am

      YES! I’am crying right now! “Nawl…i’m busy”- Jesus

  10. Laveta
    May 30, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    I wish they would! I mean that! I REALLY wish they would! Now, I’m not trying to lose my job or go to jail. But Pookie and Knuck-Knuck are just WAITING for a chance to beat up on some hillbillies! So bring it Jethro, and see don’t you end up in the ER!

    • KayMac
      May 30, 2014 at 12:32 pm

      If Mother Maya’s fune is in NC, I might be able to contract some goons to come through and holla at them Westboro bums…

      • East Winston
        May 30, 2014 at 5:31 pm

        Don’t think the funeral deets are public yet, but the memorial service will be in Winston-Salem, on the east side. Let them come. If they show up in East Winston, trust, it won’t be pretty. Some Westboro folk *will* come up missing.

  11. KayMac
    May 30, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    **biggest face palm ever** YOU’ONT MESS WITH MOTHER MAYA!!!! YOU BET NOT BRING YO’ GOOOFBALL ASS ‘ROUND MOTHER MAYA’S FUNE, ACTING A FOOL!!!!

    Yea..I’m yelling at Westboro….lol

  12. Petranilla
    May 30, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    They forgot Jesus flipped tables? Let them come and disturb his godmother’s funeral!! they gonna learn!!!!!!

    • Liz
      May 31, 2014 at 8:06 am

      “The next time someone asks ‘What would Jesus do?”, remind them that flipping tables and getting chased with a whip is within the realm of possibilities.”

      I think if they could go back in time, they’d probably picket the Crucifixion because Jesus wasn’t above helping hookers.

  13. Diva
    May 30, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    They better remember that Queen Mother Maya was also an avid gun collector. Her own mama used to pack heat on a regular. They better hope no one at that going home celebration decides the best way to celebrate is to put a cap in intolerance’s collective ass! Don’t come for the daughters, sisters, granddaughters of Mother Maya. Yall may not make it out & the devil knows your name.

    • May 30, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      Okay? I just watched her interview with Time Magazine where she was saying that liked having guns around just in case someone tries to violate.

  14. May 30, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    They don’t eeeeeeeeven know. Leave black folks alone. I mean, there is a reason why PETA doesn’t come to black fancy fur exhibition events like black award shows (or any Sunday at a black church) — because no matter what they stand for, if they’d like to remain standing, they leave black folks ALONE. WBC better ask somebody. Anybody.

    • Michele
      May 30, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      I remember years ago one of my then-coworkers got paint thrown on her fur jacket by one of those PETA folks. Long story short: PETA idiot ended up in the hospital, coworker got arrested for assault, but charges were dropped because more than a few witnessed gladly volunteered that she was provoked, and was just defending herself.

      Bet that local chapter thought twice about going after Black folks after that.

      • Michele
        May 30, 2014 at 1:27 pm

        *witnesses*

  15. Kia
    May 30, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    They may not. They said they were gonna protest Whitney’s funeral, but not one sign was seen in Newark that day.
    Too many hood goons = no Westboro

    • NannyKells
      May 31, 2014 at 8:54 pm

      I think they know better. Even the richest and uppity of black folks have a fresh outta jail cousin on speed dial incase shyt gets real. They don’t want none of it.

  16. May 30, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    When I saw Angelou speak in 1995, Fred Phelps and Westboro Baptist Church were there. I write about that experience here: http://www.nola.com/opinions/index.ssf/2014/05/maya_angelou_made_us_feel_like.html#incart_river

  17. May 30, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    Time to break out the curses:

    Westboro clan, may you suffer from flatulence worse than the stench of a thousand sumo thongs.

    May the lice of a hundred rats hold a festival in your beard.

    May your beer be a warm as a streetwalker’s smile and your soup as icy as a duchess’ glare.

    May you have the headache of the morning after without benefit of the night before.

    May your underwear be the playground of a thousand mosquitoes.

    May the leaves you used after relieving yourself turn out to be poison ivy.

    • Mona
      May 30, 2014 at 1:27 pm

      Oh. My. God. #win

    • May 30, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      Ma’am…Ma-dame! You shall not makes me out to be the lunatic laughing at my phone in this train!

      I’m a visual learner and my imagination is off the hook, so this did me still the way in.

    • TammyS
      May 30, 2014 at 5:03 pm

      I hope this is one of those curses which goes to the second and third generation.

    • Melissa
      May 30, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      Please tell me you did Miss Celie’s curse fingers while you said all this.

    • NannyKells
      May 31, 2014 at 8:57 pm

      Lol! And it was Maya’s voice I heard while reading this. Put a root on that ass lol

    • Jabria
      June 1, 2014 at 12:49 pm

      LMAO!I am unable with this curse!

    • Ki Hughes
      June 1, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      I LIVE for this curse! I can’t stop laughing

  18. May 30, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    The Westboro attention whores – they are not a church no matter what they say — are going to keep trying it so long as people pay attention to them. I hope that there are enough people who show up to pay their respects so that these clowns cannot even get close.

    And for the ones that do try it, I hope that some of our cousins that we do not like to claim in public corner them and whoops the dog crap out of them for being so disrespectful.

  19. Brooklyn Dame
    May 30, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    0__0 These folks are the skidmarks on the drawz of life. Yes, the “knock out” game could actually serve a purpose.

  20. ASNYC621
    May 30, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    So, Westboro’s trying to act like they didn’t get punked last month by the good people of Moore, Oklahoma? They literally weren’t there for ten minutes before the motorcycle gangs and regular people chased them out of there and even the cops couldn’t protect them. They are a shook crew now because they weren’t used to people coming for them like that.

    They aren’t gonna show. They threatened to show up at Nippy’s funeral and the Newark police straight up told them they couldn’t guarantee their safety. I suspect that because there’s likely to be an appearance by the president, former presidents, Secretary Clinton, members of Congress, and bunch of other people with Secret Service protection, their asses won’t be within a mile of it. Then there are the high level state officials. Those people have to coordinate with the security of high profile individuals (Has anyone checked on Oprah?). If they do decide to go along with this harebrained scheme to protest where other members of the general public are, Westboro is gonna turn that place into Westeros and they’re gonna get hurt.

    • Karen
      May 30, 2014 at 10:00 pm

      RSVP for WBC : Soiree to be coordinated by Jamie and Tyrion Lannister

      • ASNYC612
        May 31, 2014 at 3:11 pm

        After party featuring the music of Sigor Ros hosted by Walder Frey at Craster’s Keep.

  21. Malcolmisha X
    May 30, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    Hol on while I go dip my right foot in a large vat of hot tar so that i can roundhouse kick out the wholla dem one time.

  22. May 30, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    *looks round* OK look family, I’m bout to go get Pookie. Ron Ron, Lil Mike and ’em and y’all meet me at the spot cause they are NOT bout to show out at Auntie’s funeral

  23. Leo the Yardie Chick
    May 30, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    Dear WBC,

    This is NOT the ants nest you want to kick over. Trust and believe.

    Signed,

    Someone who wouldn’t mind seeing you get your asses kicked, but I don’t want people going to jail because of you.

  24. M
    May 30, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    Not working. Can spare a strike if ya’ll cover my bail.

    • Gracie
      May 30, 2014 at 3:37 pm

      *starts a Kickstarter*

      • Cori Hoston
        May 31, 2014 at 7:10 am

        Tee hee…they ain’t that crazy. …I still can’t unnerstand how the soldier’s families allow them to picket the funerals. ….so my baby dead…..u gone picket? I would turn into an assassin!!

  25. May 30, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    Listen.

    1)Never go to their website that’s how they make side money. With paid advertisement and hits on their page.

    2) I hope they get trampled by a bunch of phenomenal women. Then have to be treated by black gay doctors. Hit em where it hurts.

    • Adwoa
      May 30, 2014 at 6:16 pm

      ha! here for allll of this

    • lolo
      May 30, 2014 at 9:59 pm

      Yassss.

  26. Teri Howard
    May 30, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    I think it’s amazing that when King Kook himself, Fred Phelps, dies they asked that people not protest his funeral. Yet they’re back blowing their usual brand of shyttiness out the ad nauseum. Protest at Miss Maya’s homegoing? AW HELL NAWL!! Let me get the girls and gas up the PT Cruiser!!

    • Teri Howard
      May 30, 2014 at 3:08 pm

      I wish there were no such thing as autocorrect. I don’t even feel like rewriting it.

      • NannyKells
        May 31, 2014 at 9:00 pm

        That’s ok baby. We got it!

  27. May 30, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    Let ’em try.

    Time for them to get that asshoopin that’s long overdue

  28. poitreenmoshun
    May 30, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    Tell you this here, LET THEM SHOW THE HELL UP IN EAST WINSTON SALEM, NC AT GOOD OL’ MT. ZION WITH THIS BULL IF THEY WANT TO… My hometown does NOT play that. Rude awakening coming if they are bold enough to run up on the homegoing. RUDE awakening. We don’t play that in Da Tre.

  29. Drea823
    May 30, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    Lmaoooo! I love/hate y’all and these comments! “Pookie and Knuck-Knuck” made me spit water EVERYWHERE! I am on my way out to dinner, now I gotta change clothes messing with y’all. *wipes tears*

  30. Drea823
    May 30, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    Oh, and I wish a ninja would disrupt Mother Angelou’s home going. Don’t get “Solange’d” Westboro, this ain’t whatcha want!

    • NannyKells
      May 31, 2014 at 9:02 pm

      I just hollered. Lol! Don’t get Solanged is my new phrase lol

  31. May 30, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    They gon’ learn today! They gon’ learn what a long nap is today!

  32. Oceangift
    May 30, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    Fix it Jesus.

  33. ShekShek
    May 30, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    Som ppl give God a bad rep. I understand them fighting for wat God speaks through His word but wen going out in the field u must be sent. Im pretty sure God sint senfing them. See this is a result of religion. Ppl doing wat they think n feel and leavn God out. A funeral r weddn is not an appropiate time for a picket r protest. God be with you all. The name calling n harsh comments are no better than watever this group is out doing. Instead of fueling off of negativity, #PRAY!!Yall dont wanna dp that. Thats to much like right…smh…our ppl…#all races included

    • MimiLuvs
      May 31, 2014 at 10:22 am

      You should’ve prayed for an auto-correct, a dictionary and for a Microsoft Word spell check, because of this abomination that you called a message… Chile…

      • NannyKells
        May 31, 2014 at 9:05 pm

        #dead #flatlined #Jesustakethewheel

      • June 2, 2014 at 8:35 am

        Amen. We followers of Luvvie are an intelligent bunch and can’t read such foolery.

  34. mary burrell
    May 31, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    I read they were talking about doing their follishness at Dr. Angelou’s funeral. Trust and believe they do not want to piss of grieving black folks. They were talking about doing this on Whitney Houston’s funereal and they reconsidered. Like i said the first time they do not want to piss of grieving black folks.

  35. LegalEase
    May 31, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Lemme explain how I will flip every dahm table in the vicinity. …

  36. JanuaryBabe
    May 31, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    But is Huck busy? I mean, can we get Cyrus to make a call to Charlie? I’m just asking… for a friend. I just want to give them all papercuts and dip their hands in rubbing alcohol. Dassit.

    LOL! DEAD! Dassit!

  37. KayMac
    May 31, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    I read this message for a second time and re-got my life….*clap* I *clap* want *clap* them *clap* to *clap* roll *clap* through *clap* Auntie *clap* Maya’s *clap* fune…*clap* BRING *clap* IT *clap* WESTBORO *clap*…

  38. Tish
    May 31, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    Oh like that time they claimed they were going picket Bernie Mac’s funeral…

    Those asshats knew better than to run up on the southside of Chicago on that foolery.If they even think about coming to Maya’s funeral on that shit, Oprah might even put some paws on em.

  39. KamK
    May 31, 2014 at 11:16 pm

    All I know is, They doing the wrong thing with the right one.Because it is seldom that someone influential crosses all color, gender, religious, nationality barriers. But gohead westboro and try to discrete Dr.Angelou’s funeral.Mess around and get a joe jackson Jessie Jackson micheals Pepsi commercial eddie cane “you told harpoon to beat me” type of ass whooping!

  40. Don't mind if I do
    June 1, 2014 at 9:17 am

    Chiiiiiiiiiiile, they better find a seat immediately, ASAP and right damn now! Because everybody will channel their inner hood ninja and yell out “Wooooooooooorld Staaaaaaaaar!!!!”.That’s when you know it’s about to go down!

  41. deprogrammed
    June 3, 2014 at 7:51 pm

    If it is socially, mentally or emotionally stunted, Westboro will do it. Frankly, I rather ratchet those paper cuts up to full on stab wounds and fill ’em with ghost peppers and Carolina reapers.

  42. […] There’s countless examples of them, but I’ll just mention three. There’s the people of Westboro Baptist Church, who are committed to showing us that you can build a denomination based on the hate of all people […]

  43. June 24, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    yes there are a lot of so called people you call shitty but who hasnt made mistakes in there life ?? are you puuuuurfect ? but that dosent give anyone the right to hurt or worse, just because they are what you consider shitty people. i do alot of good things too but they are never talked about. this is what scandals are about someone says somethinmg and its half truths and then people believe it and then it gets around before you know it its all changed around and not even what the original person had said.. why such a hate on ??? what have i ever done to you ? you seem to want to poke your nose in what everyone else is doing, worry about your own life pleaase cuz inm sure thats its not as rosy as one thinks. we all have faults but hurting other people is wrong and forgiveness is a good thing i forgive others maybe not because they deserve it but because i deserve peace knowing forgiveness is a good quality most people are lacking. im not here to hurt anyone and i certainly no theat.. please for gods sakes just stop already .. this is gone on long enough and only have the stuff is halftruths. just because i go to church and believe in god is a GREAT thing no matter how much i sin we are all sinners but i go back and keep going back.. mocking god or someone that believes in god is not such a cool thing…, GOD will be the final judge so let him decide because thats what is written in his word. Ive already said sorry for whatever reason you have this hate on and you keep going on and on.. all i can say is you need some prayer because wishing violence on someone else the worst thing to do… and why do u have to hid behind a computer screen pretending to be someone else… look im noy doing anything to hurt you nor others im trying to live a good life and i have lots of love with my family friends and am highly respected with my work that i do helpimg others who are less fortunate.. im a VERY giving person . but ya we all make mistakes but you have no right to brainwash others to believe half truths about me or anyone else.. i work hard at becoming a better person inside and out and if you think you know me so well you would know this about me.. ya i still sin all christians are sinners but i always go to god and keep going back till we get it right… But your perfect i assume and need no change in anyway.. just wanted to say i have lots of proof if anything does happen to me you wont get away with it,, because be sure your sins will find you out.. so say something nice.. your the one who looks bad gossiping about people and bad mouthing them… how does that make you feel ??? but i can forgive that, but seriously this is just crap all the way around and i like who i am im better than i was s year ago and i have alot more respect from people than you think so peace, love, not war this world would be as better place if there was more love and less hate.. a lesson we all need to learn then this world would be such a better place all the way around.. PEACE , LOVE and GODS blessing