Culture

About Political Correctness, Inclusion and My Frustration With It All

There was a rant on my spirit this afternoon and I tweeted it out. I was thinking about making it a real cohesive post but nahhh Storify will have to do. I could explain myself more and go into details on some of what I said but meh.

There’s a larger post coming from me called “Hypocritical Feminist, Fraudulent Writer and Hesitant Activist” where I talk about my own contradictions in belief and practice sometimes.

Political-Correctness

If you can’t view it below, click on About Political Correctness, Inclusion and My Frustration With It All and see it on Storify itself.

Chile, there are folks on Twitter who are currently MAD AT ME! Some have called me disgusting and some have called me unkind and uncaring of people more marginalized than me because of my tweets up top. I’ve been called transphobic in response and THAT shocked a G. My mentions have been in shambles with folks calling me all things but a child of God.

Escalated Quickly gif

Apparently, I just gave everyone the permission to be terrible human beings and I just told people to let them get away with it. OHHHH OK!!! If someone reads this and that’s what they took away, I pity their reading comprehension.

If you disagree with me, that’s fine. Just remember that I hold the mic. If your comment is too disrespectful, I will block your IP address.

Update: My aim isn’t to disrespect a group of people, even in comedy. That rant was less thoughtful than usual but I do not hate trans people and the goal isn’t to have anyone feel disrespected but I was telling EVERYONE to MAN/WOMAN/EVERYTHING ELSE IN BETWEEN THE FUCK UP. That part was my attempt to being inclusive. Word. Being transphobic is not my intention nor who I am. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I’ll reflect based on some constructive feedback I’ve received.

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71 Comments

  1. makeba
    June 22, 2014 at 5:49 pm

    GURL. I try to explain this to people ALLATAHM. Now, i’ll just be all passive aggressive and shit, and send them the link to this post.

  2. June 22, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    I have to agree with this rant.

    I have been long tired of the word policing going on in places like tumblr and twitter, in addition to certain blogs. It seems that whatever you say will always be offensive to one person or another. At this point, you might as well just keep your mouth shut.

    If you breathe through your mouth, someone will accuse you of being something-ist, or a shamer for not using your nose. *smh*

  3. Barrett
    June 22, 2014 at 5:56 pm

    ALL OF THIS & THEN SOME!

    So many people within these groups that find themselves constantly offended want you to feel their pain, then turn around and bash you for not using the right word or asking what is the right word. You just cannot win!

  4. MsMWins
    June 22, 2014 at 6:02 pm

    So, I’m experiencing this very fatigue at work. There are 2 or 3 people in my department who think they were hired to find something to be offended about among the group of us. I’ve been called into meetings over phrases in my cubicle because someone internalized it & took offense. I’ve been accused of being “mean” because I choose not to engage in casual conversation with people I simply do not like.

    If it were not for my extreme affinity for that good direct deposit I received every two weeks, I would tell each one of these emotionally stunted, narcissistic, fuck-faced folks exactly what I think of them. But, I come home daily, emotionally exhausted by having to “play nice” because I’m actually an adult.

    • June 22, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      And speaking of isms – when was the last time a man was accused of being mean for not chatting someone up. (See what I did there!)

    • howlingbanshee
      June 23, 2014 at 6:38 am

      “There are 2 or 3 people in my department who think they were hired to find something to be offended about among the group of us.”
      FOR REAL! How many times I’ve wanted to ask someone if they wake up each morning reciting “My mission in life is to be offended as many times as possible, in as any ways as possible, by as many people as possible.”

    • June 25, 2014 at 2:27 pm

      You ain’t never lied. I feel as if I am going to an obstacle course everyday instead of a job. I am so fatigued physically from the mental games and office politics you would think I was working on a chain gang on the hottest day of the year in the middle of the desert without a glass of water in sight.

      I am trying to increase my skill set in other areas so that I can kiss the corporate 9-5 good riddance once and for all. I would rather work 6 different jobs doing something I enjoy than continue to work this one job that I literally hate in a place where I only like about 5% of my co-workers.

      It isn’t as easy as finding another job either because no matter which industry you fall into it is as if these people were cloned and spread across different job categories. Different day same shit.

      It is a real struggle that leaves me looking forward to every single weekend and holiday that will enable me to stay the hell home.

  5. denise
    June 22, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    Sometimes the hardest thing in the world to do is to act with loving kindness towards others. They carry so much hurt in them that even acts of kindness cut like knives.

    And sometimes, trying to point out the absurdity in things can get you labeled as a horrible person. I was recently called “racist” because I was horrified that in Goliad, Texas, the “hanging tree” in front of the courthouse was a celebrated thing. (There is a Hanging Tree Restaurant, and a Hanging Tree Antiques Store). That tress, that poor dumb tree, had been the site of executions and lynchings, mostly of non-whites. And I was called racist for not including whites in the list, when all I was trying to do was talk about how outrageously awful it was to celebrate that poor tree.

    So I feel your pain. You have to know, all the way through, that you are good. You are. And make that into the world’s biggest raincoat so this stuff don’t stick to you!

  6. Des
    June 22, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    YES to all of this!! Not too long ago I commented on an article someone posted on facebook complaining about how black men I like Kanye West were marrying. Curvy non-black women and how this displayed that black women were “unworthy”. I actually defended black men in my comment saying that Kanye is not representative of all black men who go after non-black women with black female body parts. Do you know a black man actually tried to chastise me for excluding other women of other races who are naturally curvy?? I simply said, “and what’s your point, Sir. It is known across the board that women of African and Hispanic descent are known for their curves”. People like to argue now for the sake of arguing, as if that shows how intellectual they are.

  7. June 22, 2014 at 6:58 pm

    I think you said what many of us have long thought. I’m an ole head now and in the past several years I have seen rules and language change so damn fast, I wonder how is everyone supposed to know this stuff? It’s not as if there is a book of yes and no that is being sent to us as these changes occur. I understand the need to be thoughtful but some of these terms are not commonly known. Yet people will jump on you in a heartbeat. I do feel that at times are need to “tell” someone what is “right” or “wrong” gets in the way of the larger picture. Thank you for this. *tips my hat*

  8. June 22, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    I have been fighting this battle for YEARS! You’re speaking to my heart.

    I just had this pseudo-argument with a friend of mine, and the basis of the argument was this very subject. The problem was that my son’s little butt hole friend (No hate to the people who like to take it in the butt hole) told him about divorce. He told him that when mommies and daddies fight, that means that daddy will leave mommy, take all of her money, kiss another woman who sometimes comes to the house, mommy will kick daddy out of the house, and then daddy will be singing love songs to mommy outside the house until they make up again. (Sweater God, this is a true story)

    So like any parent who hears this kind of tomfoolery, I posted it on Facebook. My friend tried to chastise me, telling me that I was being insensitive to my child’s little butt hole friend’s feelings. For real? That’s what you came up with? Here, this child’s mom and dad are the new, dysfunctional version of Mimi and Stevie J, and that’s your answer? I’m insensitive to little son-of-a-batches feelings? *waving* Bye Felicia

  9. KayMee
    June 22, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    I am also tired of people “educating”/correcting other adults and censoring writers to the point of ridiculousness. It’s to the point where unless you explicitly say it; people assume that you are being purposefully exclusionary. I need folks to stop the witch hunting and start reading for meaning/intent and not be so frigging literal or appoint themselves language police. How ’bout actually working to end oppression (before any witches respond, I understand that a that term ‘witch hunt’ creates a violent, triggering image so I apologize. I didn’t mean to exclude warlocks and no offense to pagens in general…). Luvvie, I see why you are tired.

  10. Circa1908
    June 22, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    I once was accused by a student (in front of an entry level leadership courseI taught at a university) that I play favorites based upon female students of color that I “allowed” in my class.

    I gently replied to him, “look I’m an indescriminant descriminator, I treat you all equally with the same amount of disdain. Deal with it.”

    This PC culture has gone awry.

    • Chele
      June 24, 2014 at 5:32 am

      I gently replied to him, “look I’m an indescriminant descriminator, I treat you all equally with the same amount of disdain. Deal with it.”

      Dude! (Dudette),

      I need to borrow this phase. I’ll bring it back washed and with a full tank when I’m done.
      Thx

  11. Lee
    June 22, 2014 at 7:26 pm

    Luvvie I have been a frequent reader of your blog and frankly I am quite disappointed in how you flippant and dismissive you are in regards to your comments made on twitter.
    Being politically correct is a cheap cop out and it does not absolve the wrongness on YOUR part. In regards to telling trans*/non binary people to shut the fuck up was wrong, harmful and bigoted of you to say. Just because YOU don’t understand gender complexities and identities does not make it okay to tell those who are UNLIKE you to shut the fuck up. You clearly have no idea about the experiences and marginalization trans*/NB folks face and this conversation is not new, it’s been spoken about and LIVED for GENERATIONS. Luvvie, you were totally wrong in this situation and it is better that you acknowledge your error and apologize to those you have offended. I really admired your blog, your humour and insight. Me telling you that I will no longer read your blog wont impact you but just know your words and ignorance contributes to transphobic culture that renders lives unworthy of acknowledgment.

    I wish you enlightenment.

    • June 22, 2014 at 7:42 pm

      I told EVERYONE to shut the fuck up. That tweet was actually my way of being inclusive because had I put “man” then where is everyone else? And no, that isn’t shade. In fact, that tweet wasn’t even about trans people standing up for their rights. This rant wasn’t even centered around trans people at all. It’s unfortunate that people didn’t see anything else but that.

      I understand you will no longer read my blog. That sucks because long-time readers of mine should know me better than the randoms on Twitter who are calling me hateful.

      • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
        June 23, 2014 at 1:19 pm

        Don’t feed the trolls Luvvie. You don’t have to defend what YOU believe any more than that commenter does. You said what you feel & not everyone is going to understand & many will try to find SOMETHING, ANYTHING wrong with it. The majority of us understood exactly what you were trying to say & the few that didn’t are just like those poor, humor-deficient souls that wander onto your site & then leave comments about how uneducated you are & what poor grammar & writing skills you display. They don’t get it & they are here for the amusement of the rest of us. You don’t typically address where they went wrong in the comments & I think this type of dissenting commenter deserves the same treatment. Please allow me to ask this troll to go back to the bridge from which they come on your behalf….the exit is thataway==>

    • Mymorex09
      June 22, 2014 at 7:45 pm

      Here’s the problem–you misunderstood the post. She wasn’t just telling trans/non-binary people to shut the fuck up…she was telling everybody. But people are so narcissistic, they make themselves the center of an attack and get in their feelings…like you just did above. Nawl. It’s time out for that. Social media has made everyone SO self important, that they take everything personally, and also feel that rules should be bent/changed in order for them to feel comfortable. Everybody can’t win. EVERYBODY CAN NOT HAVE THEIR WAY. Nope. That’s not what a productive society is, that’s what bedlam is. And that’s where we’re headed with all this self important bullshit.

      • Lee
        June 22, 2014 at 8:06 pm

        It’s not the matter of everyone winning or everyone having their way. That is not the point. Trans and binary were included in the initial tweet, I’m not sure if you actually read them. So of course, those who ID as such will take offence. The tweet said WOMAN/MAN/TRANS/NON BINARY THE FUCK UP and the grievance was with this whole overly sensitive culture and how being Politically correct is a burden. Are they wrong? No. Why? Because trans/nonbinary/gender fluid folks are subjected to abuse on and offline and having to hear that acknowledging and understanding gender complexities is a inconvenience…IS PROBLEMATIC. Trust me, trans folks know all about not having their way. I encourage you to look up the plights of trans women. Nobody is touting themselves as “self important” but as you clearly demonstrated in this comment, it is too much to ask to acknowledge an existence that differs from yours.

        • KWR
          June 22, 2014 at 9:58 pm

          You actually excluded an important part of the statement. She said man/woman/etc. That statement, in its entirety, made it an all-inclusive statement. Picking out the part you want to be offended by is simply unfair.

        • Patricia
          June 23, 2014 at 3:17 am

          Oh because she made it an open insult to all, that means transsexuals should just put up with the insult. What if I say the writer of this post is an idiot but so are elderly people. Then the author shouldn’t be offended right? Because I also mentioned elderly people. Such stupid logic.

        • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
          June 23, 2014 at 1:27 pm

          Are we reading the tweet wrong? I didn’t even read it as an insult or anyone being told to shut up. I read it like she wanted to say “man up” or “woman up” but those terms are “exclusionary” so she tried to be PC & inclusive. How did trying to be right go so horribly wrong? Maybe what all these comments about excluding trans or non-binary folks is really saying is that you shouldn’t try to include them intentionally by not excluding them accidentally? Hell, Iono, damned if you do, damned if you don’t…

  12. June 22, 2014 at 7:26 pm

    Wait…the hell is an ableist? I havent been on twitter consistently. Is this a new term?!

    • milaxx
      June 22, 2014 at 8:41 pm

      I think it’s the new word for enabler.

    • June 22, 2014 at 10:21 pm

      *sigh* The Wiki definition of ableist is this:

      Ableism (/ˈeɪbəlɪzəm/[1]) is a form of discrimination or social prejudice against people with disabilities. It may also be referred to as disability discrimination, physicalism, handicapism, and disability oppression.

      Just…*sigh*

      • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
        June 23, 2014 at 1:32 pm

        Wait…what? Really? I was cosigning with the enabler thing in my mind! I’m not ashamed to admit I was unaware of that term or non-binary–I thought that ish was some kinda computer exclusion or something smh. I had to read for comprehension to understand what that was really all about! I’m not here for all this PC stuff to be honest because, as we can see from the comments, folks always gon find something to be mad about. Try not to offend but expect to anyway.

  13. Mags
    June 22, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    Recently a friend pointed out that GLBTQQAAI* (the newest, most PC acronym for us queers) actually included everyone in the world but homophobic people. A straight dude, he asked me: “Can’t we just call them ‘haters’ and not label ourselves anymore?”
    * Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender,Queer, Questioning, Asexual, Allies, Intersex

    • KWR
      June 22, 2014 at 10:02 pm

      You just taught me something! I’ve never seen the acronym quite this long. The longest I’d seen was out to the first Q. When I asked what the Q meant nobody would tell me…. Lol. Anyway, thanks for the full explanation!

    • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
      June 23, 2014 at 1:35 pm

      Ditto–thanks for the clarification. I don’t know what half of those terms mean but I suspect I’m not alone. I’m so here for the end of the labels #doe. Anybody that’s gotta label everybody needs to get their OCD treated & have a stadium full of seats.

  14. Joy n L.A
    June 22, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    Girl. Thank you for this. There’s a Facebook post going around talkin’ about asking girls to not wear Coochie cutters to school marginalizes their education because we don’t ask boys to not wear “Coochie cutters.” I die.
    If they don’t get out of here with all that bs!!!!!!! I believe this opens up the door for all the “crazy” (yes, I used that word) folks who now use the internet to spread their crazy. It used to just happen on street corners with microphones, but now there’s Twitter.

    • Dee
      June 23, 2014 at 11:03 am

      *I* am asking boys not to wear ‘coochie cutters’.

      • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
        June 23, 2014 at 1:37 pm

        I second that! Lol

    • June 23, 2014 at 9:33 pm

      I want to know what a Cochise cutter is!

  15. Rampage3
    June 22, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    I understand you completely on this. And what I find most infuriating was no one did any of this until we finally got everyone pretty much on board with the N-word being taboo for white folks.

  16. ladybird
    June 22, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    I thank you with all my head and heart for what you have said. Most days you have me cryinglaughing with your insights into the ridiculous. Today you have presented additional sides of yourself that are stone-cold serious, thoughtful, and courageous. Deepest respect.

  17. milaxx
    June 22, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    I saw that same conversation (or a similar one) that @lovecakes mentioned. I just closed that tab. I swear I’m trying to be right and sensitive, but it’s not gonna happen all the time.

  18. rashawn
    June 22, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    People are so caught up in pretending to be so correct it is nauseating. When they cure world hunger, end homelessness, having housing for all disabled vets and ensure adequate funding for schools I will change. I just can’t with them. The one with the hooligan children are the worse..claiming ADD, ADHD, autism or whatever else to explain away their lack of parenting are another thorn. This adult female figure had the gall to tell me (after her son had hit my son twice) that they did not believe in discipline as it restricted his spirit. When I calmly gave my son permission to defend himself problem solved.

    • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
      June 23, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      And then your son was given the freedom to mollywop his spirit & all was right with the world…

  19. MNLioness
    June 22, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    I really had had it with the PC crowd when I read about Grumpy Cat. Her original name was “Tardar Sauce.” The owner’s small daughter couldn’t say Tartar Sauce, so Tardar Sauce was the result. Someone wrote in and said that “tardar” was short for “retard,” which is (and should be) going out of use. It’s as if people never read about the origins of such things. Luvvie, one of the reasons I do read your blog, and facebook pages is that you do show much respect when you write – which can be hard for folks to do or to take. So, go on and continue to do what you do so well.

    • howlingbanshee
      June 23, 2014 at 6:42 am

      Oh dear heavens, it’s like that Dr. Who fan who had a TARDIS bracelet and was told she could no longer wear it because ableism.

  20. Char Turner
    June 22, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    I swear, it seems like some people spend their day looking to be offended. They take comments and find meaning that the person obviously never intended.#ISeeOffensiveCommentsAllTheTime, #SensationalizeEverything. Twitter reminds me of a quote from Boardwalk empire concerning character Chip Rosetti, “He could find offense in a Bouquet of Roses”

  21. Sasha
    June 22, 2014 at 9:38 pm

    I understand the frustration sometimes with having your language policed, and that its hard to balance being inclusive without feeling stifled or you are sounding forced. But at the same time, language matters and has impact; i don’t like the term “political correctness” because imo, when people complain about political correctness they are complaining about not being able to say anything they want, no matter how offensive or hurtful to others, without being called out on it. Some of the examples posted on your timeline I agree with as far as going overboard with language policing, but there were also some that were valid.

    None of us are born with knowledge about anti-racism, gender identity, social justice, etc. As we learn, we are going to make mistakes. What is most important is that when we get called out on something, we actually listen and seek to understand. I think it’s also important for the person doing the calling out to not be, for lack of a better word, mean about it; shaming others for not being aware is not helpful.

  22. Gypsy
    June 22, 2014 at 9:58 pm

    I’m just glad you haven’t let them punk you like some celebs that get pressured to apologize for saying what everybody else is thinking. Keep doing you. At the end of the day, the good you’ve done through the Red Pump Project is all that matters. You’re giving out chuckles and saving lives.

  23. June 22, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    Sounds sort of like folks getting all in an uproar when a certain pastor quoted a song lyric while he was talking about males in the context of his sermon….. We need to stop over-emphasizing the meaning of words and stop over-analyzing the inclusion/exclusion of groups, but we’ve also got to be politically correct there though, right? RIIIIGHT….

  24. embraceurcrazy
    June 22, 2014 at 11:47 pm

    I saw snippets of this conversation online today, and to read it in its entirety is eye opening. People are so sensitive today for no reason, with minimal context, and with Super Saiyan V rage of one thousand suns. For why, because the lack of the ability to comprehend the context – allows for sensationalists for create a movement for dummies.

    I love Twitter, because it allows people to communicate quickly, and to a large number of people. I also hate Twitter, because it allows the STUPIDS to do the same. People don’t read entire conversations, they take one tweet and run with it.

    As a mom, I agree with everything you said, I’m trying to raise compassionate kids, who will have to second guess every word that comes out of their mouths for fear of offending some particular group. I tell them, be true to your heart and be ready to defend your stance. I applaud you for being so eloquent and public with your stance against this fuckery.

    • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
      June 23, 2014 at 1:45 pm

      But you said “with Super Saiyan V rage” #doe! They do make it quite that serious don’t they? Of Kameha consequence & dragonball repercussions lol

  25. Patricia
    June 23, 2014 at 3:01 am

    I think we DO need to be inclusive to all groups so we don’t end back up at square 1 with some groups as slaves and some groups being killed just for being the wrong colour. We wouldn’t want homosexuals or transsexuals to endure those things and the minute YOU say “man/woman/trans up” about it is quite sad because transsexuals and homosexuals are still an oppressed group even though they’ve come a bit further, it would be like going back in slave times and telling them to man up about the situation and the fact they ain’t included in the rest of society.

    • Patricia
      June 23, 2014 at 3:04 am

      I meant to add that I know you’re not singling out homosexuals/transsexuals but the minute you stop allowing inclusion, they will suffer the most.

      • Patricia
        June 23, 2014 at 3:20 am

        And just because you include other groups doesn’t mean you can take away the rights of an oppressed group to be offended. Don’t worry they are probably used to it though right?

    • LadyLarke
      June 23, 2014 at 12:15 pm

      As I said lower the comment list, should we get rid of Black History month, Native American history month, Latin American History Month, Women History month, etc? These are NOT inclusive.

      I’ll give you a minute

  26. June 23, 2014 at 8:14 am

    Oh for fuck’s sake! She wasn’t being transphobic! This is what helps to drive a wedge further between people. You try to say the right things and have the right intentions, but someone always takes it out of context and attacks the wrong people. I am also convinced that people look for the offense in everything, because they are so use to blindly swinging their fists that they can’t tell who their real enemies are.

    I have this problem with anyone in any side of any political fight. It gets to a point where an entire group will become an overly sensitive caricature of themselves that no one will take seriously.

    Kinda like that cringe – worthy joke that they use in movies now: “What are toy trying to say?! Because I’m BLACK. ..?!”
    This is based on those moments of exaggerated, unfounded claims of racism when a Black person is clearly unable to tell the difference and totally uses racial discrimination as a cop out.

    I say this as a Black woman.

  27. Chelly
    June 23, 2014 at 9:19 am

    Here’s the thing: I’m irked but it all. Everyone is overly we sensative about everything which doesn’t leave room for real battles. Unfortunately the internet has paved the way for online activism where people deem it necessary to overly police everything that occurs in pop culture (chile, these surface deep folks kill me…), while sitting comfortably at home with their smartphones and laptops and tablets feeling accomplished about their lastest Tweet. This is what bothers me. All of this sound and fury truly signifying nothing. The pseudo-feminists, social media Socrates, and the like tap dance on my last nerve. It’s as if common sense has dropped the mic and left the building. Everyone’s offended by everything, and needlessly so…

  28. Bukky
    June 23, 2014 at 9:39 am

    This. All of this. I live in a “liberal” Midwestern city that just prides themselves on being progressive and forward thinking and all that jazz, they’ve got all the damn lingo and acronyms and isms down. But in this same city almost 50% of our male students of color (Black and Latino) are not graduating high school, they’re being locked up left and right, they’re being labeled Special Ed and not getting any kind of help. But Lord let us (Black and Latino people) actually advocate for and try to help these students and we’re called racists, separatists everything under the sun while others are being praised for singling out and helping other marginalized communities. They tried to open a charter school for Black males, the leader of that movement was shut down so hard and basically became a pariah and became the angry Black man of the city – in PC terms of course. What in the entire hell?! If you’re not about my plight then move on don’t come police my words and actions cause you don’t agree or aren’t included. Maybe you’re not included because this doesn’t concern you! And I love how people have equated coming up with all these terms as actually helping. Do you provide counseling and other needed services in your caping for these causes? Or you think your policing of words is help enough? GTEntireFOH. I don’t take to the internet to do my part because how is that really helping my people? I go and do WORK in my community. I will call you out to ask if your activism goes beyond your timeline and posts. Luvvie yours does, I’ve seen it!! Red Pump Project, your trips abroad to Naija and West Africa, amongst other things that I’m sure we as your followers don’t even see! And the fact that people are coming at you to police your damb words irritate the hell out of me!! Keep policing words and “checking privileges” while nothing actually frigging changes, let’s see what we actually GET DONE to promote real activism. Don’t come for my sista when you know NOTHING of what she does behind her screen. Luvvie your real and tried and true fans know where you’re coming from because we know the CONTEXT of your words, and I appreciate your honesty and willingness to learn when necessary. Everybody doesn’t need a seat at the damb table if if doesn’t affect you and you provide no assistance.

    • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
      June 23, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      Yessssss! All. Of. This! All this inclusion is just another form of exclusion! And everybody slapping labels on themselves & everybody else is just a way to FURTHER let us know that you hold yourself as separate. Just because you aren’t a part of a certain group doesn’t mean you’re “excluded”, it means it ain’t relevant to you! Discrimination comes in many forms directed at many different groups of people. The struggles of a group are no less important than the struggles of any other group. I don’t get why it’s got to be all this smh

      • Bukky
        June 23, 2014 at 3:29 pm

        “Just because you aren’t a part of a certain group doesn’t mean you’re “excluded”, it means it ain’t relevant to you! Discrimination comes in many forms directed at many different groups of people. The struggles of a group are no less important than the struggles of any other group.”

        Say a word!! Thanks for the cosign!

  29. shayne
    June 23, 2014 at 9:55 am

    well as a black woman…who happens to be a lesbian…the only time im offended by anything that anyone says is if/when it is directed towards me…that being said…people need to get over themselves…ive never found anything that luvvie has ever written, tweeted or cackled about to be offensive….i have found though, that some tend to get butthurt when others speak the truth…and before anyone says that as a lesbian i should support transgender rights….let me stop you to say that i have trans friends and one just happens to be one of the very best and even he agrees that the world has gone overboard

    • LegalEase
      June 25, 2014 at 5:42 am

      I have been trying to control my fingers from going in, but THIS. Thank you girl.

      I’m with those saying this is about narcissist veiws of the world. I have found myself saying to someone “You aren’t important enough to warrent time to purposefully offend.”

      Usually, if it isn’t directed AT me and TO me I keep it moving. I’m in the process of becoming a cvil and human rights lawyer. I hope that when the time comes for the real battles, where they matter, I can find as much fervor and actual workers.

  30. Cleojonz
    June 23, 2014 at 10:00 am

    Luvvie I thank you and love you for this rant. The problem with political correctness is exactly as you said. It is not promoting any level of higher consciousness or a greater regard for your fellow human being. It is just teaching people how to better hide their racist proclivities. They are not learning at all WHY certain attitudes are unacceptable because if everything is offensive it really holds less weight.

  31. KemaB
    June 23, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    I have to say that some people jumped so far out of the window off of one tweet that was incorrectly quoted and my mind is boggles. Someone mis-read it and those who just wanted to jump on the bandwagon of being offended did not do their due diligence to process and comprehend the tweet on thier own or even the sequence of tweets and they can all have a stadium of seats. Those tweets did not focus on one group of people that’s what y’all did to paint Luvvie as a Transphobe and I find it appalling tbh. She said everyone needs to man the fuck up (insert your gender identity as necessary) and stop picking on little shit that distracts from the major issues at least that is what I got from it. You can’t blame somebody and incite a twitter beef/riot cuz you read something wrong. There is a fine line between being overly PC and inclusive people will fk up but don’t throw labels on someone because your mad over the wrong thing. JMHO

  32. LadyLarke
    June 23, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    I’m not happy with the way things are at all!

    Being a writer, you want to include as many people as you can but sometimes you just can’t. And that’s okay.

    Me not mentioning someone who is transgender or gay in one of my stories doesn’t make me homophobic. I love all people (until you give me a reason not to). It’s just that, seeing as how I do not live that lifestyle, I would be the wrong person to write about it. And the number 1 rule of writing is write about what you know.

    I was told that I was excluding the gay community in my stories. But the question I posed back is why can’t I write about what I want to write about?! You don’t wanna read my stories, fine. That’s cool. But please don’t tell me that I am a ‘hater’ or a homophobe.

    Another thing that grinds my gear is the amount of backlash we get for just saying something a little offbeat about another lifestyle. For instance, I asked the following question:

    “If Michael Sam doesn’t wanna be known for being a gay football player, why would he come out RIGHT before the draft and combine to the world, on national television and say he was gay? His college team knew and was cool with it, why couldn’t he just rest on his skill and bestow that private information with whatever team picks him up?”

    Now all of a sudden I’m a homophobe. What? I just asked a question! I really wanted to know. I don’t dislike who he is. I don’t even know the guy. I was just wondering….

    You can’t say what’s on your mind anymore without being hounded for not being caring and open enough. Instead of insulting, how about educate others to understand a different point of view.

    Okay, I’m getting off the soapbox now. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

    • LadyLarke
      June 23, 2014 at 12:14 pm

      BTW, I also heard that Black History Month was exclusion. Soooo should we get rid of Black History Month and every other ‘history month’ because it doesn’t include everyone in the whole world?????

      Some white people don’t agree with it and are calling it exclusion, trying to get rid of it for years now.

    • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
      June 23, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      There is so much right about what you wrote that I can’t even pick just one thing. I’m just going to sum it up with that old saying that he who tries to please everyone, pleases no one & I’m not going to be all inclusive with my pronoun either! You can NOT please everybody so being true to yourself is really the only way.

  33. Foxy Brown
    June 23, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    so, i know i’m late to the party but it was pride weekend. as a genderqueer person, i am not offended by your words at all. i’ve been around about 4 or 5 years now and this was kinda out of character, but at the same time, you were/are mad. that’s cool. we’ve all been there. while i do have a preferred gender pronoun that doesn’t always match my gender marker, if someone says “hey lady” i respond with “hey, what’s up?”. some things just aren’t political. imma ride with you til the wheels fall off. the fact is you are a real person with real feelings who lives in the real world. shit got real and people couldn’t handle it.

    • LegalEase
      June 25, 2014 at 5:50 am

      YAS to the voice of reason!
      *standing ovation*

  34. Phillip
    June 23, 2014 at 5:43 pm

    O_O alluhdat was a bit much. You cannot please everyone. It gets to the point where people abuse the power of what they perceive as activism, becoming as big as the bullies they are trying to dismantle. We cannot have real conversations about the real issues because the minutiae is taking over.

    Homophobia is real and hurts more than just lgbt ppl. Racism is real. Sexism is real. Rape culture is real. But the fight is against the system, which is a difficult fight to participate in. So I wonder if these small battles are for small victories: “Oh we stopped her from saying ‘clit’ because sexist men say clit and she needs to stop that.” Meanwhile, Woman X was just raped by her supposedly best friend. I am not saying that our language is not infected with bigotry, but there is a war going on and nit-picking language has a time and a place. Being self-righteous about it is detrimental, too, and the systems of oppression are still in place churning away.

    Tell your jokes, Luvvie. You got all kinds of folks laughing: straight, queer, spiritual, religious, college grads, high school grads, alternative learners, whomever (see how long the list got to get to be inclusive?). And even if you are wrong in what you saying, I am sure if people stepped to you correctly tat you would listen. Sometimes it’s not what is said but how. Sometimes people are just unintelligent and unwise with choosing battles.

    Much love to you!

  35. deprogrammed
    June 23, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    It’s easier to be self-righteous about little things than to engage in big battles that precipitate genuine improvement. Folks have gotten lazy and take too much for granted.

  36. Jazzy
    June 24, 2014 at 6:33 pm

    The blog is called Awesomely Luvvie. So at the end of the day, (in my Rasheeda LHHATL voice), Luvvie doesn’t owe us shit but to be herself and speak her truth. We have the choice to agree, disagree and/or stop reading. IJS…

  37. TeeNikki
    June 24, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    Ok, so this post totally goes with a thought I’ve had in my head for a while.

    I see folks on here always complain about somebody posting xyz then those being complained about posting about the complainers, and blah blah blah. Even in real life we complain about stuff someone did/said that we don’t like (myself included).

    The thing is…….we all were given free will. God placed us on this Earth with the free will to choose our way, whatever way that may be. When we’re born, our parent(s) try to help us form our will in one direction or another, but it’s still our individual choice to go that way or bust a U turn. The thing that we all often forget is that every single one of us has to choose our own direction, and that there are going to be people who like it, people who don’t care, and people who hate it. And that’s Ok. It’s just as much their prerogative to hate it as it’s your prerogative to do it. That’s the catch-22 of life on this Earth.

    So, in relation to what Luvvie was saying, no matter what you say or don’t say, somebody’s going to be pissed off about it, and that’s ok. It is completely impossible to please absolutely everyone all the time. Don’t even try. Just do your best to be the you that you’ve chosen to be and keep it moving. If I want to laugh all day at some lady’s piss poor choice of eyebrow shape, I can. I have free will. If somebody wants to complain about people fawning over that light skinned felonious hunk of beauty, have at it. They have free will. If someone wants to hate your ambition, more power to them. They have free will.

    God gave us this ability to choose so that we would CHOOSE to be with Him and love Him and follow His ways. If He didn’t, we’d all just be robots. You wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who was forced to be with you; you’d want that person to choose you because they want and need you. So God allowed us to make that choice. But, the downside to that is we can also choose to go a different way, which has caused eons of confusion. So, as bad as it sounds to folks with God’s conscience, we have to deal with the fact that everyone has free will to choose whatever. If we don’t, then someone else can take OUR free will to choose God and try to destroy or undermine it (as has happened).

    This is a hard truth, but one we must understand and utilize as we deal with people and situations. We’ll always try to sway people’s will to whatever side we want them to follow, but we can’t get mad if they choose to go a different way, anymore than they can get mad because we chose the way we chose.

  38. Tamra Hutter
    June 27, 2014 at 3:12 am

    Now days it seems people have nothing better to do so they go out of their way to look for offense. Hell, people are making it their full time job to be offended even when the person speaking meant no offense. It’s crazy! Ooops… I’m sure I offended someone with the word crazy so if anyone has a Thesaurus, please help me find a better word or else the PC police and the new Thought Patrol Brigade will be knocking down my door!

  39. PoetrysTruth
    June 27, 2014 at 12:20 pm

    I’m on the struggle bus when it comes to all this PC stuff. I know the BIG no nos and I am sensitive to those out the gate.

    My struggle comes when EVERY thing is a THING. Everyone has become a “ist” of some kind. I can’t keep up and I’m not inclined to try BUT THEN, I think of those folks who see us niggers and whores and how they claim “we” are being so sensitive. That makes it hard for me. I don’t want to be THAT person, but again I struggle with it being EVERY WHERE!

    Makes me tired

  40. SmithSays
    July 9, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    Soooo, I know I’m very late to the party. And I’m not an expert writer like many of your commenters are, so bear with me.

    Offense is found where you look for it.

    So often people are just looking for something to be offended about. Occasionally, I will say something that is “offensive” because, like many of you, I didn’t renew my subscription to the Politically Correct Newsletter. Those who know me, my heart and my life, know that it wasn’t intentional and will just let a girl know that there is a new term nowadays.

    Those who don’t know me, or just choose to look for a reason to go to the Nth level of pisstivity, will make a big stink about it and try to make me think I’m evil. Just because I don’t subscribe to your way of thinking/speaking/acting/being, doesn’t mean I hate it or don’t respect it. It just means that it isn’t me.

    Also, as mentioned, PC-speak just allows “-ist” people to cover up their hatred and intent. I would rather know the intent up front and help disprove the “-ist” theory, than have the actions take place behind my back.