The season 4 finale of Game of Thrones wrapped up some of our questions and packed so much in one hour that I felt it was too rushed. But let’s talk about it.
Mance and Peace – Jon walks by all the slayed Wildlings into the woods towards their camp, where Mance Rayder and the others are. They see him and he shows he isn’t carrying a weapon. The leader of the Wildlings invites him for a chat inside the tent and asks what he wants. Jon says he’s there to broker peace between the groups. The two chat and Jon tells him Ygritte is dead but he didn’t kill her. They drink a toast to her memory and to Mack the Mighty, the giant who entered the Wall.
Mance tells Jon that they aren’t trying to conquer the wall. They just want to be able to hide behind it because Winter is Coming. And he’s talmbout no one else will die if they open the gate. I’m not sure I believe him. He might need more people. All of a sudden, horns start blowing and Mance think it’s the men of the Night’s watch but Jon assures him that they don’t have the numbers to stage an attack.
A huge army comes in killing Wildlings left and right. When they get to Mance, their leader hops off a horse and take off his mask. It’s Stannis Baratheon. WUT? Yall know Stannis is sensitive about not getting any Iron Throne respect and Mance says they don’t kneel for kings beyond the wall. Stannis’ 2nd in Command sees Jon’s alphet and recognizes him as a Night’s Watch man and Jon introduces himself and says what he’s there for. He tells Stannis that his father died for him.
Baratheon asks what his father would do with Mance and Jon says the man had him as a prisoner once and could have killed him but didn’t. He says they should take him as a prisoner and question him, saving the Windling King’s life. He also suggests that all the dead be burned before nighttime. Because: White walkers.
Poisoned Mount – The Mount is unconscious on a table, with terrible wounds from the Viper’s sword. They’re festering because of the poison at the end of the dead man’s sword. WTF?!? What does his big ass need to die? LAWD! Maester Pycell tells Cersei nothing can be done but another docter there (Qybrun) says he can do something but if it works, it will change the Mount. Uh oh.
Lannister Legacy – Cersei heads to her father’s chamber and says she’s not marrying the Tyrell boy he’s betrothed her to. She isn’t trying to leave little Tommen to the sharks and as he tries to flick her off, she tells him “Your legacy is a lie.” She admits that the “rumors” about her and Jamie are true, leaving her father in a pool of denial he can’t even wade in anymore. She heads to Jamie and she tells him she “chooses” him and they start making out and I wanted to lose my lunch.
They are both THE WORST!
Judge Daenerys – Nowadays, all Daenerys does is sit on her throne and listen to complaints. This isn’t the Queendom she expects. An old man name Fennesz says he was one of the slaves she freed. “The young may rejoice in the new world you have built for them, but for those of us too old to change there is only fear and squalor.” He had purpose and status in the house he worked for and wants to go back. She says he can sign a 1-year contract with his old master. The Barrister tells her afterwards that the old masters will take advantage of this new leniency. He says “they will be slaves in every way but name alone.”
Next comes a man who is weeping and holding on to a brown blanket. He drops it and in it is the skeleton of his daughter, which fell from the sky, burnt. One of her bad ass dragons was craving human. The Khaleesi places 2 of her children (dragons) in chains in a cave. She can’t find the other one, who is probably the one who did it. The dragons cry after her and she cries as she closes the cave.
WHERE IS HER DRAGON?
Fallen Men – Aemon Targaryen gives the eulogy for the fallen Night’s Men before their burned as Baratheon, Melissandre and his people look on. Jon lights his men on fire and goes to see Turmond, the ginger wildling they kidnapped. They talk about Ygritte and Turmond says “Did you love her? She loved you. All she ever talked about was killing you. That’s how I know.” He then makes one request: that he lets Ygritte burn in the real North. Jon makes a special pyre for her in the woods and burns her body. He even clumsily cries, the only emotion we’ve seen from him. Jon Snow, you know nothing… but love. Aawwww!
Hating Skeletons – Bran, Hodor, Jojen (the other boy with vision) and his sister Meera finally get North and they see the tree from Bran’s vision. As they get close, skeletal hands starts bursting through the snow and one grabs Jojen’s leg, pulling him down. They start coming out the snow in droves and the group is trying to fight them off but more keep coming. WTF?!?!?! Crazy mutant skeletons are a thing now too?!?
Bran sees Hodor is a bit slow on the uptake so he enters his body. Jojen is stabbed by one of the things and he tells Meera to go ahead. She slits his throat so he can die quickly.
The group is really about to lose when bombs start taking out the skeletons. A little girl tells them to come with her or they will lose all their lives. They run inside a cave with skeletons still following them but when the skeletons enter the cave, they automatically explode. The girl says “The power that moves them is powerless here.” Also, she’s not a little girl, but one of the Children of the Forest, who are actually older than alllll the humans that were ever in Westeros.
She leads them further into the cave and Bran sees the 3-eyed raven he’s been seeing in his dreams since he was little. The raven gets into a tree and turns into some old man with a beard. The man tells him he’s been watching them all, because he has 1,000 eyes. He says he’s gonna give him what he’s been looking for. “You’ll never walk again but you will fly.” WUT?
Hounding Tarth – Brienne of Tarth and Poderick are wondering where their horses are when Brienne sees a girl practicing her sword fight skills. They start chatting and the Hound shows up. Poderick recognizes him and she realizes the girl she’s been talking to is Arya Stark. She says she made a vow to her mother to bring her girls home but Hound says there is no home anymore because everyone is dead. Fact. Brienne wants Arya to come with her, thus kicking off an epic fight between her and the Hound.
It lasts for what seems to be forever, and finally Brienne kicks him off the side of a cliff and he rolls down. She asks Pod where Arya is and he doesn’t know. The girl is hiding behind a giant rock.
Arya goes to the Hound and he’s in terrible shape. He tells her he’s gonna die and she should find Brienne and go with her because that is how she will be protected. He also tells her to drive her needle through his heart so it can be done. The Hound tells her the story of how he killed her friend to make her really want to do it but our girl just steals his gold and walks away. WELP.
Free Tyrion – In the middle of the night, Jamie comes and free Tyrion from his cell. He tells him Varys is waiting for him in his room. He just has to go through a hatch. The bros hug it out because it might be the last time they see each other. Instead of heading straight to Varys, Tyrion takes a detour into Tywin Lannister’s room. There, he finds his love, Shae, all in the bed. THAT WHORE! These hoes really ain’t loyal. What? I had to do it. Heartbroken, he strangles her with a chain. Then he takes a crossbow and heads down the hall where he finds his father on the toilet, a non-iron throne.
Tyrion points the crossbow at Tywin, who is still a smug bastard. “All my life you’ve wanted me dead.” “Yes but you refused to die. I respect that.” Papa Lannister then says he really wasn’t gonna allow Tyrion’s death sentence to be carried out. HE IS LYING LIKE A RUG! Lil Lannister says he loved Shae and his father calls her a whore. “Say that word again.” TYRION IS SICK AND TAHD OF TYWIN’S SHENANIGANS! He shoots his father with the crossbow and reloads it just to shoot him again. TYWIN’S DEAD! Happy Father’s Day!
He walks away and finally shows up to Varys’ room.
Varys puts Tyrion in a box and nails it shut. The box is placed on a ship and Varys goes with it.
Valar Morgulis – Arya is now a lone wolf and she goes to a port and sees a captain. She asks him to take her to the North and he says he’s not going there. He’s headed to Braavos. She hears this and hands him the iron coin that the Faceless assassin gave her. The one who helped her kill 3 people. He had told her that if she ever wants to find him and meets everyone from Braavos, to hand them the coin and say “Valar Morgulis” and they will help her.
The captain tells her she will get a cabin and he will take her to Braavos. Arya Starks sails away from Westeros, to go goon up in Braavos.
And that’s all she wrote.
The death of Tywin Lannister is HUGE because he was the puppet master of a lot of Westeros’ madness. What happens now that the most powerful man in the kingdom is dead? Who will take his place? How will Cersei and Jamie handle this? Also, where will Varys and Tyrion end up? Since we didn’t see him die, could the Hound actually survive the asswhooping he got?
Even with Tyrion killing Tywin, this episode didn’t feel satisfying. It might be one of my least favorite of the entire series yet, actually.
So many questions and we will have to wait until Spring 2015 to find out. WOMPPPP!!!!
Anywho, discuss! Those of you who’ve read the #GameofThrones books. SHUT YOUR TRAPS ABOUT SPOILERS TO COME IF YOU’RE COMMENTING ON MY BLOG! Don’t make me fight you and block you from ever commenting here again. That is all. JUST DISCUSS THE SHOW UP TO THIS POINT! People have not paid attention to this in past weeks and it really makes me want to drop kick them in face.
I’ll be on Huffington Post Live today at 4pm ET talmbout the Game of Thrones finale.