Culture

67 African Snails Confiscated at LAX Airport and Deliciousness is Wasted

African Snails

Earlier this month, 67 live snails were found in a picnic basket at Los Angeles International Airport. They were brought from Lagos, Nigeria and were headed to be eaten by someone who appreciates their deliciousness. But they were seized by Customs, because you aren’t supposed to be bringing in wildlife and vegetation from elsewhere. And snails in particular are said to harbor parasites that can be harmful to humans. According to the LA Times, they weighed 35 pounds collectively.

When the snails were confiscated, they were incinerated.

If you need me, I’ll be over here biting my fists and WEEPING cuz I DON DIE!

I understand the rules and why these were taken but I am upset at the wasted yumminess. WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN??? 67 snails don waste. See my life.

Hoo my God

I’m just thinking of all the igbin (snail in yoruba) suya that could have come from this. Can you just imagine them fried and covered in hot peppers and onions? My mouth waters just thinking about it.

Every Nigerian I know is currently upset at this. We’re not mad at Customs. They did what they had to do. But who is the bombastic bastard that thought it was a good idea to bring LIVE snails on the plane and then thought he was gonna get them through Customs? What supersonic IJOT believed he could get away with this nonsense?

Idiot gif

iSweaterGAWD my Nigerian people try it sometimes. Why didn’t he at least have them killed, freeze them and then try? I mean, I’m not saying he should have done that because that might also be illegal. SHARRAP I’M JUST SAYING! At least that’s better than trying to bring snails that are breathing and living across continental lines? He is a ginormous vagabond.

This fool put them in a picnic basket. A GAHTDAMB PICNIC BASKET! He must not have wanted to have nice things. That is dumb as hell. As slimy as live snails are. How did this not leak all over his luggage? He is a belligerent dummy. Seriously.

Ugh!

YEAH I’M MAD. Do you know how good snails be when cooked just right?? When I was in Nigeria in February, I had this BOMB snail and plantains dish.

Snail plantains

I jealous myself.

I mourn what could have been. Proper snails like this. And then when they’re fried well, the crunch they make. My taste buds suffer. Precious igbin. It’s ok. We shall overcome. But fellow Naija people, please talk to your cousins and tell them to do better. Y’all feel my pain.

P.S. For those of you who don’t appreciate the deliciousness that is snails, please refrain from commenting here to let us know how much you hate them. Because we don’t care.

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12 Comments

  1. July 15, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    Girl, I came across snail All the tahm in Tanzania. I dern near caught one in my trap.
    They tasty, huh?
    taps fingers on desk.
    Well, if I see any cooked up like this then I’ll give them a try for sure.

  2. July 15, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    LOL!!

    I had to process the title when I read it in my e-mail, but as usual…you came with the comedy commentary, and it all makes sense.

    I think that brotha man was thinking just like you–all about the yummy, and common sense just left the building. I’m cracking up thinking about him carting a slimy picnic basket full of heavy snails into the USA. You really can’t make something like that up.

    Now, I wonder…can I try some of those snails here in Chicago? >.> I know somebody found a way to sneak some in, and now I wanna try ’em…

  3. denise
    July 15, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    My husband is trying to calculate the loss of money due to all of the garlic and butter that could have been used… the whole economy could have been saved!

  4. Richard
    July 15, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    African snails (the infected kind0 are a huge agricultural problem in the Caribbean (and Florida). Between them eating a crapload of plants and carrying disease… NOPE.

    I’ll take your word about the deliciousness, but those snails are pretty much a KILL IT WITH FIRE type of vermin.

    • deprogrammed
      July 15, 2014 at 8:00 pm

      Amen and pass the flame thrower!

      • Wendylous
        July 16, 2014 at 8:47 pm

        Perfect!

  5. Monzi
    July 15, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    My heart is weeping for all that delicious igbin! Weeping I say! And HOW were those snails a half pound each? My man really had the most top quality igbin in all of Lagos in his lil picnic basket. The deliciousness will surely be mourned.

  6. Akua
    July 15, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    The Ghanaians are mad too. I’m pouring out some palm wine for those snails right now.

  7. Rachael
    July 15, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    This person must not have had a U.S. Passport. I’ve learned when you have a U.S. Passport you can slip darn near anything by customs, no questions asked. This is why my mamma uses her Nigerian passport going and her U.S. one coming. I will pour a little peppa sauce out for the snails that were destroyed. Never mind, don’t want to waste the sauce.

    • MoMo
      December 8, 2014 at 1:44 pm

      This is the TRUTH!!! Before I got my citizenship we would get stopped all the time bringing in kola nut, suya, groundnut, you name it. Now as an American citizen I get a “have a nice day ma’am” and get waved on by. Poor little snails. Having to suffer through international travel and jetlag, all in vain.

  8. Adwoa
    July 15, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    I heard this story on Marketplace last night reported from a COMPLETELY INCORRECT ANGLE. Thank you for correcting the record: 67 snails wasted does not = ick, but should instead have provoked some national mourning and searching of the soul.

    (On the other hand, I also grew up in Florida and kind of want all the Africans of the Southeast to just descend on the greater Miami region and snatch up the rampant land snails – the better to put them in soup. Win for the environment AND for my tastebuds)

  9. heha
    July 17, 2014 at 10:34 pm

    olodo man. but diarisGod
    *pours out palmwine for the snails*