A Sex-Deficient Husband and the Salty Spreadsheet He Shouldn’t Have Sent
A woman took to Reddit to show folks that her husband sent her an email to her work address with a spreadsheet detailing how many times they’ve had sex when he initiated in the past 6 weeks. He also included the excuses she gave him when she said “NO” which was 25 times out of 28. Apparently, this was to let her know she’s neglecting her job as a wife. And after he sent this spreadsheet while she was on the way to a week long work trip, he refused to answer her calls. Yo. YOOOOOOO!!!
This man deserves a dropkick to the back of the kneecaps. iSweaterGAWD. WHO DOES THIS? WHERE IS THIS OK? WHY DID HE THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA?? This is why he can’t have nice things, like sex with his wife. THIS PETTINESS!
Sex is important in relationships. I am not going to argue that so I can understand him being frustrated that he’s only gotten some 3 times in one month from his wife. Yes, that could suck. But what made him figure out that his best avenue for resolution was by sending a passive aggressive, butthurt Microsoft Excel spreadsheet?
Maybe the reason she hasn’t given him any sex is because he’s an immature dickhead who makes her Love Pocket drier than early morning cotton mouth. Maybe if he spent more time figuring out an effective way to seduce his wife instead of all this time on a spreadsheet, he’d be getting laid. MAYBE if he spent all this time researching things that could cause your wife to not want your stick in her Love Pocket, maybe he could prosper. MAYBE if he decided not to be a childish brat who decided to log sexy time like it’s overtime hours and then send it to her business email, he could get his toes curled a little.
You send me a spreadsheet like this and you won’t even need to keep one anymore because you can just assume it’s gonna be nothing but NOOOOOOOOO in the near future. I’d save you any logging time and just let you know off the bat. I’d send him back a response that is a Google Calendar of the next month with every day blocked out and saying “BUSY NOT GETTING BUSY WITH YOU.”
Two can play at this petty ass game because CLEARLY he has lost his good mind and Google Maps didn’t help him find it.
Was the spreadsheet supposed to guilt her into sex? Was meaningful conversation on strike? This is straight foolishment. Is this what folks are resorting to now? He could have just shown her the spreadsheet AT HOME!
This marriage seems on shakier ground than a toddler’s legs. If he felt like the only way to get his wife to understand that he needs more sex is through some raggelly spreadsheet, then clearly they lack healthy communication skills. If she REALLY doesn’t want to have sex with him… well it could be any number of things. She mentioned that her workload doubled at work and she was working off excess weight. MAYBE he should have treated her to a massage and told her she was beautiful. That could be a good start.
The fact that he is so selfish that he isn’t even concerned about finding out WHY he’s sexless is proof that he doesn’t give many dambs about her feelings. His left and right hands better put themselves to work. He got all the gahtdamb nerve in the world. The unmitigated gall of this douchebag. This is just some punk shit. This dude is *Jean-Ralphio voice* THE WORST!
I know marriage ain’t supposed to be a series of Excel spreadsheets of disapproved behavior. Folks are outchea hustling all the way backwards. Like human Kriss Kross jeans. Iyanla, fix their lives because this is a mess.
Bill Gates didn’t create spreadsheets for hapless husbands to send wack sex SOS with. Windows 98 didn’t perish for this. XP didn’t die so this pettiness could live. I don’t have time for it, Lawd! This is NOT the way or the light.
Yes, she’s also petty for posting this online and some of the reasons she gave are wack. Is there one GROWN person in this relationship?? Seems to me that they might have more issues than lack of sex. But it’s a chicken and egg thing. Is the lack of sex causing their issues or is it a result of other unhappiness? One thing I know is that he’s an asshole for this spreadsheet and she doesn’t wanna make le secks with her husband. There is trouble afoot.
What would you do if your spouse sent you something like this? What do you think homeboy should have done instead of this (see: anything else, for $500 Alex).
Adds: Him logging these details on Excel isn’t even the worst thing. He could have created this spreadsheet and then when she got home, he pulled it up and says “Let’s talk. We need to have more sex.” THAT would be a way to show receipts and not be a callous dustrag about it. He sent this spreadsheet to her WORK email as she’s leaving for a 10 day work trip with a note about how he is not going to miss her and then refused to pick up her calls. THAT is a punk ass move.