Famous folksFashionThrowback Thursday

The Rock’s Fetching Fanny Pack and Titilating Turtleneck: Throwback Thursday

The 90s were hilarious because everyone loved extra accessories for no reason whatsoever. An old picture of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has been floating around the web this week and it is giving me everything I want and never thought I needed!

the rock fanny pack

I DON DIE! This whole gahtdamb look! WHY MUST I CRY?!? Let’s just go from the top to the bottom. First, there’s the haircut, which is the classic high top fade, except since The Rock got some tender hair, it looks like half a jheri curl. He didn’t even have to use activator either. Don’t jealous him. (-__-)

Then this titilating turtleneck that are housing all them muscles. WHO NEEDS A SCARF WHEN YOUR NECK STAYS PROTECTED? Not him, surely. Where did he find a turtleneck that didn’t choke that thickness of his, doe? Was it specially ordered? I need to know his suppliers.

And then we move to the figaro choker chain. The 90s accessories game was NOT a game! I be tryna tell yall. I bet that was 18K gold too. Nothing less for such a fox.

Hell Yes gif

The winner of this alphet is the fanny pack. I AM SLAYED BY THE LEATHER FANNY PACK! It is the winner of everything. I love how he has his right thumb tucked behind it, though. See? Fanny packs are the gifts that keep on giving because they give you something to do with your hand. And they allow you to store 3 quarters and your house keys. DASSIT.

We not e’em gon talk about them jeans. *cues Ginuwine’s “In Those Jeans.”* Light and stonewashes were all we knew in them 90s. Bless us all.

Look at this sexy flexy summabeesh, though. I’m here for him, his turtleneck of glory and his fanimorous fanny pack. Folks say he looks like a butch lesbian and I HOWLED to the blue-corned moon.

This picture of him at the ESPYs with the caption made me cackle too. Not only is he FAHN but he got a sense of humor.

He’s gonna make me marry him. Hey boo heyyy.

Are yall jealousing Dwayne’s swag? Admit it. You want a piece. OWWW!

*comes back* Dang. I didn’t talk about the bracelet. You know real Gs rocking chain and bracelet combos. I bet he had an anklet too. We just didn’t see it. WERK!

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39 Comments

  1. @darthjaeda
    July 17, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    I definitely want a piece. But I suspect the line behind me is going to be exceedingly long.

    • carsonn_97
      July 17, 2014 at 3:10 pm

      Amen! Starting with me first!

    • Jen DC
      July 17, 2014 at 3:20 pm

      BEHIND you?

      I been waitin’ on this herre since, like, ’92. BACK UP.

  2. Rachel K
    July 17, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    Dwayne woulda got it then…and now…

  3. QueenSista
    July 17, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    A piece? Nawl, I need #alladatdere. That make is every degree of FAHN. #SWOON

  4. Reese
    July 17, 2014 at 3:20 pm

    You did not mention the single gold earring and the bracelet to match that fabulous chain. He is serving all types of Taylor has two moms with this fanny pack

    • soanxious728
      July 17, 2014 at 3:25 pm

      #werk

  5. Yolanda Johnson
    July 17, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Luvvie I love just love you. I may get fired for the laughter but at this point it is worth it….

  6. Nunie
    July 17, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    Every since I saw the picture I was waiting for Luvvie to address it! Yes Dwayne is definitely 90s foine! He is up there with my Christopher Williams and Al B Sure! Wish list because I love me a light skinned pretty boi!!! Yassss!

    • Angela
      July 17, 2014 at 3:40 pm

      Yah but Chris & Al left they fine behind! Rock hefted his into the present day and challenged us all to look back at it! Loves <3

  7. soanxious728
    July 17, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    “…except since The Rock got some tender hair, it looks like half a jheri curl. He didn’t even have to use activator either. Don’t jealous him.”

    I am VANQUISHED.

  8. Itsben1
    July 17, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    Y’all don’t see how that left thigh is trying desperately to get from beneath the yoke of those mom jeans!

    And get into that smirk that says “Yeah, I use this high-top scurl to hide my male pattern baldness, and it’s definitely hot as hell in this turtleneck; but you still want me, I know you do which is why this fanny pack is full of condoms, fruit stripes gum, and my 3 month old Tomogatchi.”

    • Melissa
      July 17, 2014 at 4:19 pm

      Lord, not the Tomogatchi too!

    • Danielle
      July 17, 2014 at 5:22 pm

      I have gone on to glory, and my spirit is typing this. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    • July 17, 2014 at 8:13 pm

      NOT FRUUT STRIPE GUM!!!

  9. Fe
    July 17, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    Honorable Mention is that Napkin!!! He knew he waa looking good. He didn’t want to get that elbow dirty.

    • Fe
      July 17, 2014 at 3:44 pm

      *was

    • Dawn Baby
      July 17, 2014 at 4:02 pm

      YESS!!! I saw that like Ooooh he stuntin!!

  10. Dawn Baby
    July 17, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    “Look at this sexy flexy summabeesh, though. I’m here for him, his TURTLENECK OF GLORY and his FANIMOROUS FANNY PACK.”

    You tryna have me fired!!!

  11. mzkarareads
    July 17, 2014 at 4:10 pm

    Tender Hair won!!! Tresses so supple neither Aquanet nor that Jermaine Jackson grade shellac could hold it!!!

    • crlsweetie912
      July 17, 2014 at 4:44 pm

      #restrinpieces dying laughing…..90’s Dewayne Johnson could get it……rockybaby could get it….the people’s champ….Hercules alladem could have it on a silver platter with fine china and a crisp white linen napkin!

  12. NeNe
    July 17, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    I’m just here for the comments. I got all of my life with these!

  13. Danielle
    July 17, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    He had the same hair as that fake Bobby Brown, only better, and that smirk was to let us know his FAHN was only just beginning to move from its infancy to full blown “panty-dropping, drool inducing, make me want to move to Samoa to find his relatives, let me hold you with these here biceps that are thick as your leg” perfection.

  14. Christie
    July 17, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    Did you see the sunglasses tucked in the pocket behind the fanny pack?

    • Pyvsi
      August 1, 2014 at 8:28 pm

      Oh emm gee…I can just imagine the superlative smoothness with which he donned those fine spectacles.
      Also, my Army recruiter looked like him.

      Speaking of sunglasses, who remembers
      “B-lue B-lockers, Mm!”

  15. July 17, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    Oh Dwayne been fine since way back in the day when he was playing for the University of Miami. He is giving a little buffed KD Lang realness here, but it worked for him. That is an all-knowing smirk right there.

    • Kenya
      July 18, 2014 at 12:49 pm

      Buffed KD Lang realness….I’m getting fired
      today….

  16. July 17, 2014 at 6:18 pm

    I just want to see the rear view.

    Also, two words: big hands.

    • Christie
      July 17, 2014 at 6:31 pm

      3 words: size 14 shoe.

      • Nicole
        July 17, 2014 at 7:04 pm

        I have a 6’4 husband so you knows I can testify ’bout the size 14 shoes *wink* The thing that got me looking at that man was a picture of his hands on his knees.

  17. July 17, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    He was so cute back then. And he’s super hot in the present, (though I prefer my men thinner).

  18. MimiLuvs
    July 17, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    I am going to tweet this post, Luvvie. Hopefully, he’ll see it.

  19. Kel
    July 17, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    My dream in life is to be the meat in between a Dwayne Johnson/Jason Momoa sammich. But there’s so much meat there already that I’d happily accept being the lettuce, tomato, or even the cheese. I’ll bring the mayo.

    • July 19, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      Lordt. You went there. #dead

    • July 19, 2014 at 9:29 pm

      Scoots over next to you … get.out.of.my.head.

      Those two are my #SamoanStud boos. I’d take both of them.

      Sidenote: Had a dream about them two plus the other #SamoanStud

      Troy P who plays for the Steelers.

  20. Christie
    July 17, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    I tweeted him that I need that fanny pack. I am sure it ended up at the Goodwill 20 years ago, but there’s always hope!

  21. zee
    July 28, 2014 at 3:52 pm

    I’mma take this picture to the MAC counter and have them find me a gloss in the same exact color of those tender lips. Dayum, dayum, dayum, dayum, Dwayne!

  22. A'isha
    November 5, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    The weakness occurred the moment I read, “Why must I cry?”…That’s when I turned off the ‘puter and called it a day.
    You are everything that is.

  23. September 17, 2015 at 2:25 pm

    Ah man! I’ve been crushing on him since The Scorpion King. He looks too much like my baby brother in this 90s throwback. Nu-uh! *shivers* He looks so much better now and nothing like my brother.

    PS: I did the fanny pack thing on a trip to France thought, it would keep my money safe. What a waste of time, I needed a handbag to carry everything else.