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Kaboom Makes a Blue Ivy Hair Joke and Everyone Lets Her Have It

On Monday’s edition of 106 & Park, Karrueche Tran, Chris Brown’s (maybe he feels like it today) girlfriend of far too long (remember when he dumped her for Rihanna? Well, the 1st time) made a joke about Blue Ivy’s hair. Basically on some “my parents don’t comb my hair” cheapness. No one sent BET’s writers the memo that Blue Ivy hair jokes aren’t what’s hot. Maybe their memo got faxed. Now folks are threatening her and coming for her eyebrows.

Kale-ruchay’s one job was to read the teleprompter. So yes, as much as she’s secretary at arms of Team Bad Decisions, this wasn’t her fault. In Kaboom’s defense, she was just a mouthpiece. She read that Blue Ivy hair joke off the teleprompter and BET’s writers should get the wig snatch and the vitriol. Y’all know Chris Brown’s Yo-Yo ain’t bold enough to make that joke herself. She read it and even she was like “sorry” on air.

Poor Karfuffle. Kettlecorn ain’t never been known as someone who makes good decisions. This ain’t no different. She just needs mentors.

I wonder who who thought Kalechips was a good host for 106 & Park, anyway. I mean, seriously. The girl seems to have the personality of vitamin water. BET’s Stephen Hill has apologized for the joke and so has Kayak.

Karrueche 106

I took to Facebook and Twitter and I started a thread of complete and utter foolishment. Below is the conversation that ensued (my comments are the ones with LA):

“I feel sorry for Kawasaki. She was just doing a job. Now the Bey Hive is trying to behead her!” – ER

“I feel so bad for Kalamata.” – KL

“Poor Kaleidoscope” – ER

Kemosabe stays losing so much that I don’t even think she knows what winning feels like. Her supporters keep saying she has a job & that she’s a model. I personally don’t think her current position of “Chris Brown’s air in the spare” translates as valid work experience anywhere.” – MR

“I blame both BET and KarpelTunnel. KiaSephia could’ve skipped that joke and BET sound mad Beyonce didn’t perform at the EBT awards” – @jillianbowe

“Wait… You meant Kama Sutra. Right?” – KL

“Nah its Kalamari” – ER

Karmachameleon never saw it coming, po’ thing” – IN

“Yea Kettlestitch WAS.NOT.READY. Cheer Up, Kinesthetic” – ER

“They told Beyonce that Kerastase made a joke about Blue Ivy and she went “Who?” Exactly.” – LA

“who is Kerastase? You mean Kaopectate? Chris Brown’s GF, right?” – @Court_The_MUA

“That Kimchi will NEVER LEARN will she?!?” – KH

“The moral of this story for Krayola is next time, she should STFU instead of reading a joke about the Princess to the Beygency throne.” – LA

“These comments are inspiring foolishness that has me cackling with joy. Thank you Kegel…” – KL

“I didn’t even know 106&Park had a new host. Kolacola wasn’t even on my radar before this.” – DC

“So, Kathmandu is actually afflicted like Ron Burgandy…she’ll read ANYTHING off a prompter without thinking… this is Kucaburra’s fault. You get a breeze through before hand. You decide what you want to read or not. The Beygency is gonna have her ass in the Edgeless Protection Program real soon.” – DW

“I wonder what Breezy has to say about Kahlua’s mishap? He’s no stranger to controversy…” – CW

You guys. We should leave Kalisthenics alone. – LA

“We shall keep Kolombo in prayer.” – @AstoldByThomas

“Please lift up Sister Kumbaya up.” – LA

“Damn. KaysJewelers can never win. Sad.” – DU

“It’s not like Klondike ain’t gonna be on Twitter again… She apologized y’all!” – KH

“Reports say that Breezy says if Krasha Train is happy, then he’s happy. After this and the weekend Chris just had, I guess nobody in that household is too happy.” – DC

“I just hope that Kucaracha has learned a lesson.” – ER

Kaluha and Cream was just doing what her bosses wanted… Poor Krucial Konflict.” – DC

DEAD floor gif

“One day, Kull The Conquerer shall find peace on the internets. Today shall not be that day.” – DU

“This is my last comment about Kappa Alpha Psi. I’m going nite nite.” – CW

“This thread won’t stop with the greatness. Maybe we could have written a better script for Krashandburn.” – DC

Kockadoodledoo just always getting the short end of the stick” – KH

“I’m back! All these comments about Kool and the gang couldn’t keep me away. Lol! Y’all crazy.” – CW

“We are being so hard on Kantgetright!” – DC

“Its cool. Kamikaze will bounce back. She always does.” – RD

“We should send Killingmesoftly this thread…” – CW

“All Kilimanjaro is gonna do is tweet about it…” – KH

“If BET only knew the joy that KreamOfWheat brought in all of this!” – DC

“BET should be thanking KC and the sunshine band for all this publicity.” – CW

“I know right?!?!? I know Kawinkidink is loving this attention though….” – KH

kakebatter gone learn to read silently first…” – DL

“Is Kickstarter a guest host or is she permanent? If KashNKarry is permanent that’s not a good look.” – CW

“Y’all… leave KontrolAltDelete alone… you can tell by her dealings with CB that her elevator doesn’t go #allaway up.” – RS

KareBearStare is having the worst week ever. But these here comments? LMAOOOOOOOO” – KB

I HATE THAT I LOVE MY FRIENDS SO MUCH! They are the utter worst!

Blue Ivy Bye Girl 2 gif

All I know is that Kalabash will be back to tailing behind Chris Brown (the President and CEO of Bad Decisions LLC) tomorrow, they’ll breakup on Friday and be Instagramming selfies on Monday.

*I don’t know how we started calling this girl everything but her actual name but it has been over 2 years since this game began. No, it is not because of her ethnicity. I’ve been making fun of Tksjfipwjfpw Mari for about4 years so saddown in advance.

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90 Comments

  1. Kat
    August 27, 2014 at 11:11 am

    I cried laughing at all of these but ” KarpelTunnel” has to be my favorite. This is the most buzz 106 & Park has gotten since Free & A.J.

  2. August 27, 2014 at 11:14 am

    Sweet Geebuz! How did I miss this?! This is what happens when I work. Can I get on disability and claim I got Luvvie Syndrome or something? These comments are giving me laif! Each one is better. Lawd! Not Kegel or Karebearstare! Love it! #fixitjesus #mitigateitmary #layitdownlazarus #getitguadalupe

  3. gayle
    August 27, 2014 at 11:16 am

    No Kamehameha didn’t ?????

  4. MsDrema
    August 27, 2014 at 11:23 am

    This SO reminds me of “A Different World” Whitley and Dwayne’s girlfriend Keno or Kaluha or Kekukala….

    • Maxine Shaw, attorney-at-LOL
      August 27, 2014 at 11:45 am

      That’s exactly where the joke came from. Kinu, IIRC, was half black and half Japanese, and Whitley was always messing her up name.

  5. OtherWynnGirl
    August 27, 2014 at 11:24 am

    BET is steady taking two steps forward and rolling 15 steps down the hill. Where is Debra Lee? Doesn’t she wear her hair natural??? What’s she got say? I feel like we have to hold BET’s hand to keep them going in the right direction. There are too many smart, funny, hardworking people of color walking around to have folks in position to make STOOPID jokes like that. She’s 2. Grow up, BET.

  6. August 27, 2014 at 11:26 am

    Y’all had me screaming at my desk this morning. So much evil. So so good! Poor lil mite. When will she get right? Blue’s so cute doe. Look at her li’l bow in her afro. That child’s hair was obviously styled in some way. Some kids just don’t like stuff in their hair and Bey should not be shamed for allowing HER child’s hair to do what it do.

    Anyhoo, I’m feeling inspired, so here are a coupla names y’all forgot: Karamba, Kapybara, Kilimanjaro, Khlamydia, Katakana, Keepsake, Kleenex, Kapoeira, Kombucha, Kananga, Kablinasia, Kigali, Kiplinger, KomodoDragon, KudzuVine, KungPaoChicken, Kwikset, Kitsch… and a good ol’ Jamaican fave of mine, Kakafart.

    • August 29, 2014 at 6:47 am

      Jcanwisegrrl, NOT Kakafart! *real tears* I done wid you!

      • September 6, 2014 at 11:01 pm

        😀 😀 *adjusts halo*

  7. Dot
    August 27, 2014 at 11:27 am

    KareBearStare bahaha! Hands down my fave!

    • August 27, 2014 at 12:04 pm

      I love that one too.

  8. Sherry
    August 27, 2014 at 11:29 am

    My friends and I assume this is a throwback to Whitley’s A Different World shade

    • August 27, 2014 at 12:04 pm

      LOL it IS a throwback but I dont know how we started doing it for Karrueche. We ain’t stopped since, doe.

      • Veritas
        August 27, 2014 at 12:39 pm

        Charlamagne (Power1051) was the first one I heard refusing to call her by her real name for months now, lol. People probably picked it up after that.. You should have heard when he gave her Donkey of the day and the callers all referring to her as everything that starts with K but her name LMAO.. made my day.

        • dondada
          August 31, 2014 at 9:18 am

          Lies!!! It was Kid Fury who started this a loooong time ago. Now people have amnesia.

  9. August 27, 2014 at 11:33 am

    KitchenFreshChicken is not going to be pleased with all this foolery. You will feel the wrath of Kleptomaniac soon.

  10. August 27, 2014 at 11:36 am

    Are yall any better making fun of her name?

    • Bish Whet
      August 27, 2014 at 3:24 pm

      Somehow making fun of a grown woman who can (or maybe not from what I’ve heard about her) versus making fun of a two year old, in my opinion, doesn’t carry quite the same weight.

    • IfYouEverComeBack
      August 27, 2014 at 5:54 pm

      Yeah we are, First of all she is a grown woman, she can take it. Also she could have just skipped the joke, so she deserves the shade. Lastly she has a unique(for most people) name so it’s gonna get made fun of, them the breaks.

    • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
      September 4, 2014 at 11:28 pm

      Umm, yeah! Because…well, FUNNY!

  11. Merisa
    August 27, 2014 at 11:42 am

    I am literally trying unsuccessfully to hold in my tears in this class. These names have me holding back screams. Y’all are dead wrong and I am present for every moment of it.

    • August 27, 2014 at 11:44 am

      You’re failing successfully in the crying department. Lol!

    • August 27, 2014 at 12:04 pm

      You are in class?? You must want your teacher to side-eye your whole life. lol

  12. A416Bajan
    August 27, 2014 at 11:45 am

    Poor Kleptomaniac!! Gonna get stung by the Bey hive. Fix it Jesus and Iyanla.

    • August 27, 2014 at 12:03 pm

      #LaminateitLambofGod

  13. iCant
    August 27, 2014 at 11:45 am

    Ya’ll leave kainotophobia alone! (actually kinda appropriate but antyways) Why the Pandora Gods decided to play Killing Me Softly while I read this tho? #Perfection

    • August 27, 2014 at 12:03 pm

      “kainotophobia.” MA’AM! LMAOOOOOOO!!!! You have no chill.

  14. Janeen
    August 27, 2014 at 11:46 am

    I love our site!!!! Tissue in hand, wiping tears away while eating lunch in office alone 🙂

  15. KDS
    August 27, 2014 at 11:48 am

    THANK YOU so much for the laugh…………

  16. PJay
    August 27, 2014 at 11:48 am

    KontrolAltDelete Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! Po lil tink tink..

    • August 27, 2014 at 12:02 pm

      That one slayed me too. I can’t deal w/ everyone.

  17. FixItJesus
    August 27, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Im sitting here trying to save lives by donating blood. Got me squeezing the ball too hard from chuckling. Red Cross folks talking bout slow down a little. I just cant with this today lol.

    • August 27, 2014 at 12:02 pm

      LMAO! You know better than to read this post while you giving blood!

  18. Yolanda
    August 27, 2014 at 11:54 am

    Now lets see if you the writer of the disrespect..will be as hard on the actual writer of the joke or are you just trying to destroyt his girl for doing what she was paid to do…r u going to be as hard on BET….or are you a kiss ass…bc she is the easier target….

    • August 27, 2014 at 12:01 pm

      Girl BYE! I’ve gone hard at BET over the years so feel free to go saddown over —–> there

      • August 27, 2014 at 12:12 pm

        *High 5s* And you CLEARLY stated in THIS BLOG that you blame BET for even writing this fooishness in the first place, that it’s not Karrueche fault.

        • Mz James
          August 27, 2014 at 12:36 pm

          CLEARLY!!!!! Some folks just want to be acknowledged. Luvvie responded, that chick is satisfied.

    • August 27, 2014 at 4:24 pm

      Kaopectate, is that you?

      • dawn
        August 27, 2014 at 6:56 pm

        *cackles* I’m sorry but of all the comments this one here just ended me

  19. Ronicaone
    August 27, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    I can’t keep up with BET and their useless stable of stupids. When did Klamydia start working on 106 & Park?

  20. August 27, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    Y’all ain’t right. Kukaracha ain’t never done nuffin to nobody but be a warm body. Kal-Kan is a person too!

  21. Kenya
    August 27, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    I was doing good until I saw that Girl Bye gif….gahtdamb y’all if I get fired today….

  22. Marcus
    August 27, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    Poor Kanekalon…just getting dragged ALL over the internets this week.

  23. Ms. Mimi
    August 27, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    Poor Kanekalon, she don’t know no betta…
    #menditMostHigh

    • Marcus
      August 27, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      Let us pray for poor KreamOfWheat. BET done set her up.

      • Ms. Mimi
        August 27, 2014 at 12:38 pm

        Right, they straight came for Keratin! SMH…

        • Tracey
          August 27, 2014 at 8:00 pm

          Ok I am DONE! Kankelon and Keratin!!!!!! Tears….can’t hold them in anymore!!! LAWD

  24. Mz James
    August 27, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    OMG! I am in tears over these names! I might get fired today messin wit ya’ll!

  25. CPP
    August 27, 2014 at 12:41 pm

    Blue Ivy waving, “Bye, girl!” LOL My day is made!!!

  26. Addie
    August 27, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    Karmicruminants just can’t catch a break! lol

  27. Candace (@claughinghouse)
    August 27, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    Someone forgot Kaballah. These were hilarious and I am sorry for laughing….LOL!

  28. Lennixe
    August 27, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    I’m crying for real at work right now! Not Kalabash — /DED

  29. KTaylor
    August 27, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Well, now that my whole grad student office thinks I’m crazy for having a 10 min laughing fit. Luvvie is trying to get me kicked out my PhD program.

  30. Catty_Tweets
    August 27, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    We gon have to get a sectional cause BET, 106 & Park, Kaleidoscope, and everybody on that staff needs to have several seats. Who is so petty to make a tired, old joke about a young child’s hair? The people slapping a damn weave on their baby’s head, that’s who. Please let that child be. She behaved like an angel the whole time.

    In fairness, the stans need to have a seat too. Who has that much time to be dragging a side chick for days? Get your life, people.

  31. NC
    August 27, 2014 at 1:30 pm

    I’m just mad the the “Bye, Girl.” had to go on top of Kelly’s face!! *cuetears*

    • August 27, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      I did not notice it before, but just died anew!!!!!!! The shade!!

  32. Hatty
    August 27, 2014 at 1:30 pm

    I wish KarmaScootra would make a joke like that about MY child! Ain’t no one buying that Ron Burgundy excuse – if that was a joke about your Rihanna/Breezy love triangle, would she have read it on air? KThxBai!

  33. Kayscrilla
    August 27, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    Kissimmee just mad because Blue Ivy’s hair stays more relevant. Next week we’ll all be like “Keratin who?”

  34. kat
    August 27, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    I hollered so loud after the 16th iteration of her name! LMAOOOOOO!!!

  35. LadyLarke
    August 27, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    Kumbaya just had a Ron Burgundy moment and read everything that the teleprompter said (if you haven’t seen “Anchorman” we are no longer friends). It’s not really her fault. I blame BET for not putting a muzzle on whoever wrote that piece and thought it was funny.

    Yea, Blue’s hair doesn’t look like we would expect it to, but the bottom line is that she’s a TODDLER! She shouldn’t be bullied by the likes of BET. On the other hand, it IS BET so there are no standards…

  36. SincerelyPat_
    August 27, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    Although I believe the joke was wrong, I have to agree with Luvvie that it was BET’s fault for making Karousel read it. Klick Klack is not very bright but can we let her make it on this one? Maybe we just need to start a support group for KookiesandKream.

    • Tracey
      August 27, 2014 at 8:05 pm

      This right here^^^^^^^ has me on the floor! Kookiesandkream….LOL

  37. Phatlips
    August 27, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    Lil’ Klingon just needs a class on how to pick better men and clothing choices, but at least KandyKrush got a job!

  38. nycharlem123
    August 27, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    Lawd I don’t have the time for these shenanigans. Ya’ll calling her errthang but a child of God and her name! Ya’ll remind me of Whitney and Kinu from a different world.

  39. Judy
    August 27, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    Kurrychicken looked like she knew she was getting set up but couldn’t get out of the way in time. Krymeariver at least got some pr outta this. these names are hilarious.

  40. Jessica
    August 27, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    Leave KaneKalone alone!

  41. shadylady
    August 27, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    Kid Fury used to do this on his site allatahm. He would call her KrashBandicoot. Kmsl.

  42. standupsistah
    August 27, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    I truly needed this Luvie generated laughter tonight. Unfortunately, it is at the expense of my sistah Kantchadoncha but she’s fully growed, she’ll be strong.

  43. Classylady
    August 27, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    Kaisersose should’ve left that joke right there. No need to drag Blue Ivy into this.

  44. notconvincedgranny
    August 27, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    The show’s producer has been suspended and BET is on it’s hands and knees, hoping the swarm from the Beyhive will pass them over. They tried to indemnify Kitipong but she did her own koursekorrection. #karmawillkillya

  45. jaz
    August 27, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    KaroSyrup really needs to get her life together. She is just full of fail. First Chris Brown ( multiple times), now the joke about lil Blue, whats next ??

  46. August 27, 2014 at 9:34 pm

    Ok so is her name really karrueeche? i thought it was kim or something? like seriously….why would she call herself karrueeche when kim is so much easier….she needs more people or I need to drank more outside of house

  47. August 27, 2014 at 9:53 pm

    OMG!!

    I came on this site to get the link for the #Ferguson post and y’all got me HOLLERIN about Kal-El!!! My neighbors are going to have me evicted! Geezus!!! iDied at the hands of Luvvie and her fans! Poor KarlKani!

    That KaiserSose one ended my life y’all!

  48. QueenD113
    August 27, 2014 at 9:55 pm

    Y’alll going straight to H-E-double for this ratchet foolery! STRAIGHT! But I’m here for all of it – *cackles*

  49. Rain
    August 27, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    I.am.ROLLIN and HOLLARIN at these comments!! Bwahahahahaaa!

  50. August 28, 2014 at 1:37 am

    KareBearStare. I want to hug whoever came up with that.

    I had a real Kerruche day, but you and your friends made it all better, Luvvie.

    Bless you all!

  51. Lisa S
    August 28, 2014 at 9:05 am

    I don’t see the problem with her reading the joke, it’s true. Blue Ivy’s mom doesn’t comb her hair. Queen B ( whom I like) walks around looking good with her hair done and can’t comb or pay someone to comb the baby’s hair? Some cry “oh it’s natural” so was mine but my mom combed it.

    • August 29, 2014 at 1:50 pm

      Sorry for you that you don’t see what’s wrong with the joke. What is wrong is the idea that there is something inherently wrong with a black girl’s hair growing out of her scalp the way God intended.
      What’s wrong is that we confuse ‘combed’ with styled or plaited. Because let’s clear that up for the folks who seek to have forgotten that what being black is like – the child’s hair IS COMBED. Because if it wasn’t, it would start to dreadlock. (And I have locks…and a little black girl around the same age as Blue). It would look completely different to the way it does now.

      What is wrong is that we have been trained to think that it is ok for little girls of any other race to have a comb run through their hair, get a bow stuck in and it’s cool. But when a black child’s hair is worn open…OH THE HORROR! We can’t have that. Even though everyone else does.
      What’s wrong is that a network that peddles itself as being representative of black people is taking part in perpetuating such hurtful mess and against a child no less!

      What’s wrong is that they chose a glossy haired, non black woman to make this joke at a child’s expense, despite knowing that black women are constantly critiqued and found ‘wanting’ against the ‘standard’ of women like Kilimanjaro.

      What’s wrong is that Kowabungab wants to be a host on a live TV show and can’t (kan’t?) even ad lib. Girl, BYE!

  52. Flyy
    August 28, 2014 at 10:12 am

    As my momma used to say, Kumquat gon hafta use that head for mo’ dinna hat rack. She should have known better.

  53. Choc
    August 28, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    I haven’t heard a name butchered so badly since John Travolta introduced “Adel Dazeem”. Y’all play too much!

  54. Azaria
    August 28, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    Omg Kaboom? Lmfao

  55. wutnahell
    August 28, 2014 at 11:24 pm

    Krackkilledapplejack – or that’s what I heard. Now rech ova and snatch a knot in alluvem. These comments are so funny they should be illegal. Hey, Kleenex needs a mascot. *wiping tears of hilarity*

  56. i'm sleep tho...
    August 29, 2014 at 12:51 am

    poor kaboodles…she can never win, but she should’ve known better than to read that tasteless joke. welp, she gon learn today

    i died at karebearstare tho

  57. August 30, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    I’m mad cuz yall done called her every possible name in the K section of the dictionary. I hung up after Kappa Alpha Psi.

  58. Ktori0928
    September 1, 2014 at 11:40 pm

    poor kunnalingus…who shall we elect to get her all the way together?

  59. Prettydarkskinnedgirl
    September 4, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    Lawd, I read Karmachameleon & Kemosabe & I laughed til I choked! OMG that was so funny Jesus Wept!

  60. Prettydarkskinnedgirl
    September 4, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    Really #doe, why is everybody snatching KwickyKoala’s wig when she was just reading? I almost feel sads for her…

  61. September 9, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    I KNOW I’m late to comment on this, but I just want poor KeenanAndKel to win. Just once, KajunKitchen deserves a victory.