Famous folks

Why Was Mickey Rourke on Jimmy Fallon with Pigeon Hair?

Mickey Rourke doesn’t curl all the way over. He hasn’t for a while. Homeboy was on Jimmy Fallon’s show last night and his hair was utterly tragic. I didn’t watch the show but I saw this picture and that is all I had to know.

Mickey Rourke Jimmy Fallon

Unless he was in character as a man in the middle of a wind tunnel that blew his hairhat back, then there’s no reason for him to appear on national TV (or in public. Or outside of the room he first placed this wig on) looking like this.

Oh wait, this isn’t a wig. This man grew this shag. WHY, LAWD???

I don’t know what is happening here. Why is his head wearing a gray cape? Because this hair starts smack dab in the middle of his scalp. I know his forehead ain’t that tall all by its lonesome. His edges are nowhere to be found.

It might not make sense that I called this pigeon hair but it surely made me think of them city birds that stand in the middle of the sidewalk and act like they got pedestrian rights too.

Mickey must not have any more dambs to give because why else is he on television looking like he forgot to remove his “I get nervous” towel from his scalp? Yall, some of our celebrities of relevance past gotta figure out how to go out gracefully because this is a mess.

Hot mess Strategic gif

Takes one to know one.

Where are Mickey’s people? Can’t one of you pull him to the side and let him know that his hair shouldn’t pay #amish to rat birds? Showing up looking any old way. Between him and Jermaine Jackson’s scalp paint, hair is having the worst time of 2014.

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41 Comments

  1. August 13, 2014 at 8:55 am

    So a woman celebrity goes out after having gained 3 lbs and everyone is like OMG SHE’S GONE OFF THE RAILS, PUT HER ON THE MAGAZINE COVER WITH RED CIRCLES AROUND HER CELLULITE and he can go out like this? Even without the hair, we have the 3-day beard, which on anyone older than a 22-year-old rockstar looks kind of like a scary street person and that doesn’t even mention a plaid vest buttoned all the way up over a shirt that is NOT buttoned all the way up…Damb, weird old famous dudes get away with a lot.

    • August 13, 2014 at 8:58 am

      Not here he isn’t! I exist so they don’t. lol

      • ladyscellz
        September 12, 2014 at 10:39 pm

        He looks like the white bully bird from rio smfh

    • cafegirlspress
      November 13, 2014 at 10:06 am

      That is what Angelenos call “virgin hair.” As in not laid. RIP Mickey Roarke’s dignity and self-respect.

  2. August 13, 2014 at 9:04 am

    His hair is truly tragic but can we admit that whatever conditioner he is using has his hair glossy?

    • ms chan
      August 13, 2014 at 1:53 pm

      U just killded me dead…im on a bier surrounded by flowers and family

    • MeThree
      August 14, 2014 at 5:01 pm

      You just killed me all the way dead. That hair does have a natural-looking gloss to it though… Blue Magic?!

      Haaaaa!

      • MorningGlory
        October 31, 2014 at 10:20 am

        Not even gonna lie, that was my first thought, too. Well, the second after “what in the hell . . . ?”

  3. Tiffany
    August 13, 2014 at 9:09 am

    I can’t with Mickey Rourke and this 50s inspired bouffant.

  4. Mdot Lee
    August 13, 2014 at 9:22 am

    Mickey is giving me BAPS realness right now.

    • August 18, 2014 at 7:33 pm

      now you KNOW Nisi and Mickey (a.k.a. the other chick) had to hook him up at their soul food hair salon (don’t judge me on how i know that…i loved that movie as a kid lol)!

      • October 29, 2014 at 9:55 am

        I love the ending where everyone was doing the cabbage patch for no reason.

  5. Christie
    August 13, 2014 at 9:22 am

    This is really is indefensible and it’s sad because back when Micky Rourke had his original face, he was hot.

    • Milaxx
      August 13, 2014 at 9:44 am

      Yes! 91/2 weeks Miickey Rourke was the business! Sadly 2014 Mickey is not.

    • Milaxx
      August 13, 2014 at 9:47 am

      Because Barfly is one of my favorite movies, I forgive Mickey a lot of things. I am still pissed that he thought boxing and then plastic surgery to fix his face was a good idea and now he looks like this.

    • mrsrony
      August 13, 2014 at 10:30 am

      9 1/2 Weeks…Babbbeeeeeee!!!!

  6. Jocelyn
    August 13, 2014 at 9:23 am

    I love you for this and all your posts! my daughter came out while I watching this and we spent 10 mins clowning! Mr. Jacksun has fallen to #2!

  7. Sharon
    August 13, 2014 at 9:34 am

    Jerry Lee Lewis was resurrected, slain, and re-buried by this ‘do.

  8. mistyfee
    August 13, 2014 at 9:43 am

    It is rather unfortunate(his face and that hair hat). He actually used to be very handsome before he started boxing and had that awful plastic surgery. He is the male white equivalent of Lil Kim

  9. MissTish
    August 13, 2014 at 9:45 am

    This man is wearing a Flatbush Avenue, Brooklyn NY, 90s throwback ‘do… His hairdresser’s name is Princess, she has a gold tooth and six inch nails. She gave him a Motions relaxer, followed by a Doobie wrap, then she bumped his mane to new heights with that six-inch barrel hot curler (she went to the three inch for that little curl by his cheek). You can’t see it in this picture, but she shaved the word “sexy” into his fade on the left side. A little spritz of Aquanet and spray of Pink Oil Moisturizer, and Mickey was ready for his comeback. #BOOM

    • Kenya
      August 13, 2014 at 10:46 am

      I had to stifle this holla I was about let forth in my place of employment….thank you, you have made my day.

    • Syrich
      August 13, 2014 at 2:55 pm

      I know I should have stopped reading at “hairdresser’s name is Princess” but no I kept going so I don’t have anyone to blame but myself for being slain by your words. LOL!!!! I was getting ready to defend Mickey, because I am still trying to recover from Angel Heart. I have always felt like that movie messed me, him and Lisa Bonet up for realz. We are all still staggering away from the effects of Angel Heart, my favorite Mickey Roark film. I have not held him responsible for anything he has done since making that movie.

    • August 13, 2014 at 7:33 pm

      MissTish, TO THE CORNER! You kilt me DEAD! HILAR!

    • MeThree
      August 14, 2014 at 5:07 pm

      LMAO! Please bring roses to my funeral. They were always my fave.

  10. Bobbie C
    August 13, 2014 at 9:52 am

    Reminds me of Kat Williams.

  11. milaxx
    August 13, 2014 at 10:21 am

    I record Jimmy Fallon and watch the next day. I am just watching the Mickey Rourke interview and it is glorious! Apparently he was a fill in for Jessica Alba and had just gotten off a plane 20 minutes ago. The entire interview is full on crazy Mickey Rourke.

  12. Vonetta
    August 13, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    Mickey got that pre-Civil Rights hairline…it’s waaay at the back of the bus, honey. I’m gonna pray for the strength to eventually can…’cause right now, I can’t.

    • notconvincedgranny
      August 13, 2014 at 5:53 pm

      Back of the bus? He’s in LA and his hairline is in Memphis.

  13. August 13, 2014 at 6:22 pm

    LOl, You all talking about this guy, so I supposed he was a big star back in the days. Personally, I’ve never his name. I may not know who he is, but I’ve got eyes and I can definitely see this hair of his and all I can say is TRAGIC! Someone, his agent, wife, his cat or a complete stranger should have told him that he should step outside his home looking like that unless he wants to be mistaken for a human sized pigeon.

  14. August 13, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    There is no excuse for that hair or outfit, but he was filling in at the last minute for Jessica Alba who was supposed to be on the show but canceled due to illness.

    Rourke said that he just came back from Russia,so I am going to blame Putin for that whole unfortunate look. You know Vladimir and them probably ration out the good hair, so poor Mickey had to take what he could get — he’s the victim here.

    • ktori0928
      August 14, 2014 at 12:28 am

      they RATION hair?! Nope…I will not…*cackles and chokes for breath* I will not play these bald headed games with you….speaking of bald headed somebody pray some clippers into Mickey’s life. Or at the very least a good finger wave to lay that mess to the side. I’m tired of these antics..*faints*

    • milaxx
      August 14, 2014 at 2:39 am

      I want to give him a break, but he is on Seth Myer’s tonight with the same hair. In fact looking at it now I’mm pretty sure that’s a lace front.

  15. jeff
    August 14, 2014 at 12:06 am

    Not to take away from his ridiculous hair but the 61 year old Mr. Rourke also had on the tightest skinny jeans I’ve ever seen.

  16. NikkyC
    August 14, 2014 at 12:44 am

    This is the same hairstlye he wore in IronMan 2. I thought that was part of his villian costume. NOT his everyday look. LOL.

    • August 19, 2014 at 1:17 pm

      I thought the same thing. lol.
      When I saw him in Iron Man I didn’t even know who he was. Just Googled for image of him and I’m devastated. Had a mild crush on him back in the day.

  17. Absurdist
    August 14, 2014 at 4:50 am

    Perhaps he’s some kind of canopic jar for Phil Spector, who’s trying to astral project out of prison.

  18. August 14, 2014 at 8:09 am

    Not defending the hair, but he DID say he was called “20 minutes ago” .. he was a last minute replacement because of another guest cancelling the show.. he just flew back from Russia and was exhausted .. he had no plan to be on the show..

    Which is why he said he gave himself a b12 shot, to give him energy

  19. Sarah
    August 14, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    Yeah, he’d just raced over, but even so, why was this even a choice? That said, I fell in love with it. Couldn’t stop looking at it. It was mesmerizing. Don’t stare too long!!

  20. Sandy
    August 22, 2014 at 10:09 pm

    These comments are a damn comedy show. Thank God I didn’t even TRY to read this at work. I would have been fired and on the unemployment line with Mickey’s real hair.

  21. Silver
    December 7, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    Can I just say, Luvvie that you and those who comment on your blog are some of the funniest people around? You kill me dead over many a so-called comic “star” on television.