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Aretha Franklin Performed on David Letterman and Cissy Houston Can’t Be Bothered

Aretha-Franklin-Sings-the-Greatest-Diva-Classics-2014

Last night, Aretha Franklin went on the David Letterman show to perform her cover of Adele’s Rolling in the Deep. When the recording dropped, many said she breathed new life into the song but that autotune was not what life was about. I couldn’t even finish it. But her singing live shoulda made it all better. Instead, folks are wondering who on Aretha’s team is trying to sabotage her wonder years.

First of all, which Instagram makeup artist did the most with this face paint on Mother Aretha? Yall are taking this “beat face” thing to different levels of terrible and I am upset at this. I see the contouring. I see where they tried to make her nose thinner. I see the banana powder game here and these brows. Seriously, yall play too damb murch.

Is subtlety busy? Heavy-handed ass artists. Relax on all these layers! But while they’re adding all this stuff on her face, they also forgot to match it to her body and that’s tragic. Then they got her in purple eyeshadow and pink blush. It is just a whole lot of look with that green dress.

aretha-adele-letterman

Speaking of, let’s talk about this dress. Aretha knows she loves her some strapless dresses and spaghetti straps. One of you told her this is the look and she’s stuck with it for all these years. Her and Mariah Carey. And then it’s all big and fluffy. Where is Lil Bo Peep and is her sheep gathering alphet missing? Whose quincenera dress did they put on Ma ‘Retha? I haz questions.

“They went right down to Flower Street in Downtown LA and picked up a ole naaaaaaaaaasty plus sized, sea foam, pendant encrusted gown for this David Letterman show performance.” – @KelechiAKalu (I’m so done with him)

And then the neckline. I spent the entire time watching this holding my breath because I felt like her tig ol’ biddies might don’t make it through the performance. LAWD. I was over here nervous dinnamug because they might have tumbled out the dress and what is we gon do then? This sweetheart bodice ain’t the most flattering for Mother Re-Re but we can’t tell her no parts of that.

Lemme leave Retha’s look be. Let’s get into the video of the performance.

It pains me to say that Ms. Franklin should have just left this song alone or leave some riffs behind. She did a lot here and this isn’t a song that needs so much. Adele can rest easy knowing she’s done the song the most justice. But I’m not even pressed about that. Please rewatch this video and spend the entire time looking at the background, at Cissy Houston (Whitney’s mama).

CHILE WHEN I TELL YOU I HOLLERED (and continue t0) at Aunty Cissy, please believe me. She spends the entire performance looking like she’d rather be at bingo or folding Bobbi Kristina’s laundry than on the stage at David Letterman singing backup for Aretha Franklin. The moment the set began, she looked disinterested as hell. As the other background singers rock in unison, Cissy stands there looking like she can’t go along with nobody’s mild choreography.

Then when the singing begins, watch her mouth and realize that she’s just miming and doesn’t know the words. Did she miss rehearsal and forget to check Google for the lyrics to the song? Whappened? Why is she shooting shady side glances at folks and judging everyone in the audience, not giving one solitary damb that she’s right behind Re-Re and on camera?

BeyNoFuck

She’s like “I’m just gon stand here and bless you with my presence.” I love old people. They’ve lived too long to care about feelings and appearances.

The other vocalists are giving energy and excitement but MIZZ Houston is giving ornery and over it. When they started clapping, MUVA didn’t even do it on beat. Cissy ain’t even BOTHERING To ACT like she MIGHT wanna be onstage. Who forced her to be there? Was she repaying a favor? Why is she so unable to deal? Whitney’s mama is Den Mother of Team No Dambs to Give and it is cracking me the hell up.

This is complete utter hilarity. Chile, I LIVE. Betwixt Aretha’s alphet and Cissy’s unimpressed face, I am LIVING. Whew. Good times.

Because Kelechi is truly the worst:

Cissy Houston Aretha Meme

*DEAD*

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149 Comments

  1. Freshie85
    September 30, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    I just cried watching this video!!!! Why Cissy was over it before the beat drop? Cissy looked like she ain’t even know she was out the house. Mama had that D’usse in her system!

    • KayMac
      September 30, 2014 at 8:16 pm

      Cissy back there looking like, “I ain’t eeeemm down with this mess..” LMAO!!!!

    • September 30, 2014 at 10:48 pm

      BEFORE the beat even THOUGHT about dropping, she was uninterested. lolol

    • Ms. Me
      October 1, 2014 at 10:06 am

      Honestly, I think Cissy was back there thinking “Now Retha KNOW she wrong for this dress! And why am I stuck here looking directly at her back…..looking like a melted mint and chocolate ice cream sundae….”

  2. Malcolmisha X
    September 30, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    Im going straight to the depths of hell for laughing at that swimming pool noodle blue dress.
    Lordt. Adele come get your song please!

    • September 30, 2014 at 10:48 pm

      Not the “swimming pool noodle blue dress.” *DEAD*

  3. KayMac
    September 30, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    Luvvie…LuvBug…Luvarama…I tried. I really did try to watch this joint, but after hearing Mama ReRe’s 25th high note(or trying to hit that high note), I. JUST. COULD. NOT! And I just knew that Mama’s boobiecakes were just gonna pop out and run because they were tired of hearing this mess..This song wasn’t the one….fire AAAALLLLLLLA yo peoples!!!
    Now, Auntie Cissy gave me all of the life I needed with her unbothered-ness!!! Mama ReRe prolly called her the night before the performance and begged like there was no tomorrow, to sing backup. Auntie Cissy was like, “TUH! I’ma do this for you, this one time. You bet not EVER ask me to do this mess again!! **mumbles** gone make me miss my bingo ’cause you tryna be cute. Hmph!”

    • Bamie
      October 4, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      @KayMac, I can’t stop hollering. My neighbors prolly think I’m cray cray. LMBO. I feel sorry for poor Cissy and Aunty Re in that outfit. Lawd have mercy.

  4. Maxine Shaw, attorney-at-LOL
    September 30, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    Shout out to the bass player, too. RitD is notorious for being stupidly easy to play on any instrument, ESPECIALLY on bass. That song has, like…five bass notes. The entire song can be played on a single string (low E), but that dude is standing up there with what might be a 6-string bass, thumping & shaking his head harder dinna mug. #oldblackbassistbelike #rickysmileytaughtme

  5. jinks
    September 30, 2014 at 8:22 pm

    um… what did i just watch…??? OMG.. where to begin????
    1. who dressed that woman?
    2. why was Cissy back there like God made her go and she was just letting him know her displeasure?
    3. Adele ain’t done nothing to nobody. why they mangle her song like that?

  6. Ella
    September 30, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    Cissy is up there looking like when you were 13 and your mama made you sing with the children’s choir at Easter: “I’ont even wanna be here”.

    • Mz James
      September 30, 2014 at 11:03 pm

      Yeeeaaaassssssss! That is EXACTLY what she looks like! Just mad and all kinds of tude!

    • The 18th Letter
      September 30, 2014 at 11:16 pm

      Hollering with no dambs given. Cissy: Houston we have a problem.

  7. Sassy Gigi
    September 30, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    The greens on the stove meme….I’m out!

  8. September 30, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    Thank you, Luvvie! This video has been all over my timeline today and people going crazy about how Aretha tore down the house with the song. Nope.

  9. Brandi
    September 30, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    So many questions. Why does it look like Aretha went to the same hole in the wall shop that I got my prom dress from? Why is Ms. Houston mouthing elephant in the background? (my church choir people know what I’m talking about) Clearly, she gives no damns about the words, situation, song, stage, dance moves, life. AND THAT SHADY EYE ROLL! Someone told her there was no bingo tonight and she said fuck this song. I bet they won’t call her to do background again. Did she owe Aretha a favor?! Never again. This whole video handed my life to me on a silver platter polished to perfection. YAS!

    • September 30, 2014 at 10:40 pm

      They bet not call Cissy again. She prolly warned them beforehand but they begged her to do it and this is what happened. You can’t force old people.

  10. gemsmom
    September 30, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    That meme with Cissy contemplating burnt collards done me in!!!! I bout spit out my pop laughing. She looked like she was doing court ordered community service. Hahahaha!!! I won’t even mention the fact Aretha should always wear sleeves. . .

    • September 30, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      “She looked like she was doing court ordered community service.” LMAO! YES THIS IS IT! She was not pleased and she wasn’t shy about being obvious about it.

  11. Quitha
    September 30, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    The look on Mama Houston face is priceless. The Queen knows that now that she is elderly, she need to let the strapless gowns go. If it doesn’t come with a shrug or a wrap, she should let it pass her by.

    • September 30, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      Retha loves them fiercely. Bless her.

  12. Marra
    September 30, 2014 at 8:51 pm

    Cissy could realy not be bothered with this foolishness. She says NO to those Instagram eyebrows! She couldn’t even do back up dancer two step. I CANNOT deal.

    • September 30, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      Right! The 2-step was too cumbersome for our lady. Chile… LMAO!

  13. Legal Ease
    September 30, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    Wait….

    What happen?

    Why it happen?

    #MendItMoses

  14. Reiko
    September 30, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    Cissly looking like a loan shark in the. Back ! Aretha must have owed her some money so Cissy showed up to make sure Aretha paid up!

  15. Reiko
    September 30, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    Cissy looking like a loan shark in the back! Aretha must have owed her some money and Cissy showed up to make sure she paid up!!!

    • Melissa
      October 1, 2014 at 1:41 pm

      OK. Reiko? I am going to need to not be funny while I’m drinking water at my desk. Thanks!

  16. TO Through
    September 30, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    Lawd… I posted this on my FB page and laughed the whole day at the thought of it.
    I know I am going straight to hell.
    But I thought that Muva Cissy looked like she wandered on to that stage and didn’t have a clue!

  17. September 30, 2014 at 9:08 pm

    So…I take it she has the same team as Stevie Wonder, no?

    • gilmoregrl4
      October 2, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      You know you wrong for that #butyourighttho

  18. BettyBoop
    September 30, 2014 at 9:43 pm

    Why do Re-Re arms look like Hog Maws swinging round like dat.? Why Cissy look like she got out of Shady Rest Nursing Home on a pass for the day and they played a trick on her and put her on dat stage. You like music don’t you ms cissy??? and them greens on the stove – oh lord you killin me I am deeead!!!!

    • Jen Jen
      October 1, 2014 at 1:02 am

      You’re in time-out. Get in the corner. Hog-maws…

    • vanessa
      October 1, 2014 at 11:43 am

      NOT HOG MAWS THO!!!!!!

    • Christie
      October 3, 2014 at 7:49 pm

      Those arms look like she could take off if she flapped hard enough.

  19. bran's boo
    September 30, 2014 at 9:43 pm

    adele’s manager: sorry to wake you adele, aretha is covering your song on david letterman tonight. just wanted to give you a heads up.
    adele: oh moy got, i’ve got ta heah the queen of sou-wl foh moyself as she ends moy careeah!
    *watches aretha’s performance*
    adele: oh. ah’m goot. *flips pillow to cool side, falls back asleep*

    • September 30, 2014 at 10:20 pm

      Hahaha hahahahaha Oh Lawd! *falls out*

    • September 30, 2014 at 10:38 pm

      YOU. HAVE. KILLED. ME!!!!

    • October 1, 2014 at 3:54 pm

      You’re SO WRONG for this! I actually pictured this entire exchange, and now I’m laidt out on the floor at work laughing. #nochill lololol

    • Vdubb
      October 1, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      OOOOOOMMMMMGGGGGG I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING. … I’m numb right now

    • FunnyTKE
      October 2, 2014 at 1:24 am

      “flips pillow to cool side, falls back asleep” #dead

    • katori
      October 6, 2014 at 10:42 pm

      Oh no you didn’t drag Adele’s accent into this entire mess bran’s boo. You know you’re wrong. Very wrong for making laugh this much.
      Luvvie, please get this in a GIF or something so our hearts can soar in eternal joy 🙂

    • CaliGirlED
      October 7, 2014 at 12:16 am

      Thanks for the visual! I can see Adele throwing her head into the cool side of the pillow! LMAO!!!

    • Who did this?
      October 24, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2yH-cHPrik

      This and yall’s ignance have done me in for good…

  20. September 30, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    Oh Cissy, what’s really wrong mamma? She looked crazy as hell throughout this performance and she really could have stayed home for all that. She must have been thinking about the shade Aretha was throwing when Whitney died.

    Aretha made me nervous each time she raised her arms because I just knew that those boobs were going to make a break for it, and I really don’t need to see any of that. I’m much smaller than her, but I have always been top heavy which means that I don’t do strapless because these girls must be strapped in at all times in a honest to goodness boob harness, and most of these strapless bras won’t cut it. That can’t even have been comfortable for her.

    This woman is a legend, and it makes no sense for her to be out here looking so bad all the time. Thy could have at least put her in some Fall colors and slimmed down that skirt. Her glam squad, if she has one, needs to be fired.

  21. September 30, 2014 at 10:29 pm

    ReRe where your ride or die home girls? The ones who will help you put a dead cat in your ex’s new Lexus, in August. The ones who curse people out for putting purple eye shadow on you. The ones who let you know “girl, Cissy don’t like you no way. She gone show out on that stage.” ReRe, girl listen to your sister friends. They will help you find a tasteful age appropriate dress for Letterman. ReRe I love you like cooked food. But this stuff. STOP it.

    • KayMac
      October 1, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      **Iyanla voice** Beloved..Queen Aretha…The people that did this don’t care about you! You have GOT. TO. FIND. YOUR. TRUE. SISTERFRIENDS!!!!! Now gimme a hug!

      • ms chan
        October 1, 2014 at 9:53 pm

        Halllerin!!!!! I hear iyanla in my head!!!

      • CaliGirlED
        October 7, 2014 at 12:31 am

        I am crying off your Iyanla speech! *hollers*

      • boom boom
        November 20, 2014 at 3:56 pm

        Kay mac you are to cite lol

  22. yonna
    September 30, 2014 at 10:33 pm

    Oh, so nobody is gonna mention that ReeRee got that LaTrice Royale look goin on, huh? They just got her shoulders out, extra a shy today? #JesusBeAHotTubOfLotion #ArethaNeedsASoakUpToHerNeck Lawd, please dont tell me im the only one who sees it…

    • yonna
      September 30, 2014 at 10:37 pm

      #ExtraAshy #DambTypo #AUTOCORRECT BeDambed

    • Shannyn
      October 1, 2014 at 2:28 am

      Latrice Royale, I am so dead resurrected and dead again from reading that.

  23. JamesLuvsLuvvie
    September 30, 2014 at 10:45 pm

    Imma need Arefa’s face not to be casket-ready-beat-fo-da-gawds…Evidently her makeup artist didn’t give no blends, no dambs, and no fuqs…NONE.AT.ALL…

  24. foxy1crd
    September 30, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    Gurl, I couldn’t make myself watch the WHOLE thing! In tears laughing, I going straight to hell for this but, Cissy looks like she on the same stuff Bobby-Christina on! Retha look and sound a whole hot arse mess. She can’t hit them high notes no more!

  25. Perfections Path
    September 30, 2014 at 10:54 pm

    Aretha’s chest reminds me of a mudslide. {Repost}

  26. September 30, 2014 at 11:02 pm

    I CAN NOT EVEN!!!!

    Oh my goodness. From the title, I started cracking up because I had JUST watched the performance.

    My husband thought I was nuts! I love the “greens” reference! Miss Houston could not be bothered!!!

  27. Vroshell
    September 30, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    That’s a sleeveless dress? I thought it had sheer sleeves since her face was 5 shades darker!

    • October 1, 2014 at 11:00 am

      *dead*

    • gemsmom
      October 1, 2014 at 11:15 am

      LOL!!! It looks like she only tans her face.

  28. Out of lurkdom
    September 30, 2014 at 11:23 pm

    Auntie ReRe has always been a fashion don’t. But dis stuff here…lordt.
    Mama Cissy why?

  29. Nzisa
    September 30, 2014 at 11:26 pm

    This one performance killed hopes, dreams, the eye roll, make up, strapless gowns, the color blue, the color green. Let’s just say a lot died here tonight. Why Aretha? Why? And why she look like she be fading from the face down? Starts off a darker shade of brown and then her finger tips look like Casper the friendly ghost. I can’t deal with this. Broke my heart too it did.

    • Nzisa
      September 30, 2014 at 11:28 pm

      PS: Never seen an eye roll that went separate ways and met right in the middle at the same damn time. Lawd!!!

  30. KShenaey
    September 30, 2014 at 11:30 pm

    this reminds me of church folk who clap when they know the soloist sounds an entire lucifered mess #sangbaby #letthelorduseyou knowing good and hell well God ain’t pleased

  31. milaxx
    September 30, 2014 at 11:33 pm

    I been cackling over this all day but I’m just now getting around to posting here. I don’t now who should be more ashamed; Ms Cissy for that low key shade or Ms Franklin for that dress & makeup.

  32. Lan
    October 1, 2014 at 12:00 am

    Thank you so much… I have laughed so hard at this! From Cissy’s mean mug to the quincenera dress. I so needed this

  33. Sabrina
    October 1, 2014 at 1:10 am

    At first I thought it was a sheer top too but then I was like what color is that Ashy. Then I was like ohh man that’s her arms. Its wrong just wrong they clowned her face out then rolled her upper body in a deep barrel of flour. Got her arms looking like chicken ready for the frier.

    • Out of Lurkdom
      October 1, 2014 at 12:47 pm

      Sabrinaaa … Sabrina!!! ROFLOL!!! *dead*

  34. October 1, 2014 at 1:36 am

    Oh my goodness, this is how people get charged with murder, killing that song is illegal. What is with the dress again?

  35. Absurdist
    October 1, 2014 at 2:09 am

    But Cissy will stay employed, because she’s been around Aretha since before God was a boy.

  36. Shannyn
    October 1, 2014 at 2:22 am

    So, mother Franklin’s team decided the ombré body look would be a win. “Re girl we’re gonna start real dark and then do a gradual landslide to an unnatural undertaker’s ashy makeup tone.” No, and the prom dress no with the mature arms and the way too visible maturity meat no. The bowling balls were barely contained no. Mama Houston with that priceless face “OK Re I’ll show up but I ain’t doing shit when I get there. Take it or leave it.”

    • Lizzykins
      October 1, 2014 at 2:20 pm

      Maturity Meat?? I am calling level five security on YOU!!!

      • notconvincedgranny
        October 3, 2014 at 3:54 pm

        I think this is a Code 10 affair!

    • Cali
      October 7, 2014 at 12:36 am

      Maturity meat??? Bwahahahahaha

  37. October 1, 2014 at 3:47 am

    The real and only question is why did Aretha do this to herself? or Why the hell did her agents/manager/family not step in to stop her from embarassing herself?

    Maybe she needed the money. Or Maybe she wanted to show that she still got it.

    And Cissy, well she just can’t be bothered anymore *shrugs*.

  38. Cinnamon
    October 1, 2014 at 4:43 am

    What did I just witness? I never in my wildest imagination thought that something Ms. Franklin would sing would be that bad…My daughter came out the bathroom and said “Momma that sounds bad turn it off”.

  39. October 1, 2014 at 5:11 am

    I. Am. Crying. There is just too much to love about this, most especially this post and these comments. xo

  40. CamiCakes
    October 1, 2014 at 5:41 am

    Miss Cissy looks like, ‘I tried to tell this heifer not to do this, but noooooo, she just had to get up here looking like somebody great grandma who can’t give it up…. Look at her…. What kind of foolishness is this?’

  41. Chaveevah Ferguson
    October 1, 2014 at 6:46 am

    *sigh* I hate to say this [but it’s already been said in SO many different ways, so one more won’t hurt], but that dress made Ma ‘Retha’s arms and chest flursh look like ice cream melting on a hot day! Every time she raised her arms and jiggled, it looked like some bosom flursh was gonna melt and start rolling down the front of that awful dress…and now I must ask forgiveness of the sin of raking an icon over the sho-nuff coals

  42. October 1, 2014 at 7:03 am

    I couldnt ‘eem watch this whole thing. Im embarrassed for this whole mess. That dress…. #icantevenknowwhaytosay the color and the…its a mess!

    I have no words for the make up, looks like an 8 pack of crayola threw up on her face O____O

    Cissy could have at LEAST pretended to be intetested lol she looks like she needs a nap 😛 she is completely unable to can.
    #icant #shewont

  43. lamar
    October 1, 2014 at 7:17 am

    I have no words. They have all been said. I only have tears of laughter. I love all of y’all for this.

  44. October 1, 2014 at 8:01 am

    1) I wish FO GAWD I had Auntie Pattie’s number so I can call to see if she saw her classmates on stage like *this*.
    2) When I say Mrs. Cissy was ready to come up out of those small heels and recline on her floral print custom made La-z-Boy? She was ready to get OFF the stage before the music started!
    3) Who’s idea was it to put her DIRECTLY behind Aretha? They knew she’d be caught on camera with all them facial expressions and unbothered-ness! LOL tryna be funny!

  45. AA
    October 1, 2014 at 8:31 am

    And folks laughed at Re’s Inauguration hat but now we realize that her ’08 look was so much better cuz she had the arms & breasticles covered up in a gray coat! Cissy & Re must’ve had major words before the show judging from Cissy’s “I’m not yo back-up singer, I had a career” attitude. This was too much all the way around!

  46. Michele
    October 1, 2014 at 8:52 am

    I hadn’t watched the video because Adele’s version is such perfection that nobody can touch it, not even Auntie Ree. But now I have to check it out to see Miss Cissy cutting up (maybe I’ll just mute it).

    Y’all need to stop with these comments before somebody ends up having an asthma attack behind your foolishness LOL.

    • KayMac
      October 1, 2014 at 1:37 pm

      I’m reading these comments but trying my DAMBDEST not to scream laughing, and have Boss Lady look at me like I’m special…

  47. Monique
    October 1, 2014 at 9:03 am

    I just wanna know whose body they photoshopped Rere’s face onto for that DVD cover? Her neck ain’t been that smooth sine 1972!

  48. erin greene
    October 1, 2014 at 9:19 am

    how did they find the original members of the methusalahs?

    #100yearreunion

    #muteitmessiah

    #ican’tseeonelifesupportmachine

  49. erin greene
    October 1, 2014 at 9:21 am

    my girlfriend’s mad, waiting in the car, this time, i’m trying to climb way out of luvvie’s comment section…

  50. ZaidahNicole
    October 1, 2014 at 9:22 am

    Was it me or was Auntie Re-Re’s face darker than her shoulders/arms? I never knew you could ombre makeup.

  51. My Beautiful Life
    October 1, 2014 at 9:22 am

    Hey Luvvie,

    That was a great review, girl.
    You know I think for great talents from past generations like Aretha, it must be hard to accept that your “instrument” has changed. Hitting those incredibly high notes was hard at 20,30,40 or even 50 but to attempt at 70 or so is stretch. Most of the great Divas have seen changes in their voices, that is what time does. The only older singer I have seen perform recently that was amazing and on point was the lovely Ms. Gladys Knight. Who looks great, sounds great and can hang with the 30 year olds. But Cissy Houston’s face will certainly rule the memes for the next few months. I have not seen a better, “I dont give a damn” expression in years!

    • Gladys-stan
      October 1, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      and Ms. Gladys is ALWAYS dressed age and style appropriate. WTH Auntie Re??!!!

  52. October 1, 2014 at 9:27 am

    Did we ever find out WHY she was up there? This whole thing is HILARIOUS to me.

  53. StillSuga
    October 1, 2014 at 9:36 am

    Now yall know why Auntie ReRe’s body is so light. You know our elders still love them some good baby powder, a nice light dusting to keep the body fresh

  54. Madamemeek
    October 1, 2014 at 10:03 am

    Cissy and the top half of Auntie Ri-ri’s body were not interested. NO MA’AM PAM!!!

  55. Courtney H
    October 1, 2014 at 10:38 am

    Cissy was all like…watermelon, watermelon, watermelon…roll eyes….watermelon watermelon.

    • Out of Lurkdom
      October 1, 2014 at 12:43 pm

      *absolutely unrevivable!!! ROFLOL!!!*

    • Kat
      October 1, 2014 at 3:32 pm

      I cried…real honest to god tears… I heard her warbling that in the background. That and they don’t pay me enough for this shit.

  56. circa1908
    October 1, 2014 at 10:42 am

    somebody tell Mother Retha to turn round and give Cissy a Snickers, child is HANGRY

    • circa1908
      October 1, 2014 at 10:47 am
      • howlingbanshee
        October 2, 2014 at 12:58 pm

        NOPE!
        Dishonor on everyone who had any part in the making of that commercial.
        Dishonor on their frappucinos.
        Dishonor on their wigs.
        Dishonor on their quirky, ironic graphic print tees.
        Dishonor on their baby powder.

  57. October 1, 2014 at 10:46 am

    So Aretha’s been shopping at David and Goliath’s Bridal, eh?… *side-eye*

  58. October 1, 2014 at 10:57 am

    Cissy looks like all of her grandkids were dropped off on Friday before their mamas went to the club. She has no time for these bad ass chirren!

  59. Ms Brome
    October 1, 2014 at 11:01 am

    Awww….I was just thinking, “DoIt!, Ms. Aretha !!” Then I see you all ripped her to shreds….

  60. Ms. Q
    October 1, 2014 at 11:04 am

    *Dead* at these comments… that video is hilarious!!

    • Ms. Q
      October 1, 2014 at 11:05 am

      And yes, that cover is so photoshopped. Her neck does not match the neck in the video? They are sooo wrong for that!

  61. Shar
    October 1, 2014 at 11:10 am

    Cissy and ReRe’s conversation:
    ReRe – Cissy since we celebrating your birthday all week come with me to David Letterman, I’m gonna SANG that Adele song and you come on and help me out with the backround vocals
    Cissy- Re, you know I don’t knows nuttin about no Adele song how am I gonna help with the backround?
    ReRe- Awwww, Cissy you always worryin chile just stand back there behind me, errbody gon be lookin at me innyways in my seafoam green trashheep dress so you can get a lil shine too while pretending to sing.
    #idonekilledmyself #beendeadfor24hrs

  62. Lanz
    October 1, 2014 at 11:13 am

    Science is the only answer I can come up with for that dress managing to stay in place. Now, time to go listen to Adele.

  63. arandomr
    October 1, 2014 at 11:45 am

    1. I just imagine Patti Labelle watching this while sipping her tea.

    2. For a moment I thought her top was sheer but then I notice there was no top. Do they not believe in lotion?

  64. Vanessa
    October 1, 2014 at 11:55 am

    looks Aunt ‘Refa’s stylist went rollin’ in the deep of someone’s 1962 bargain basement for that dress and some duct tape to keep dem biddies in place…
    …and dem notes! She talmbout “no riff left behind”…

  65. Raheem
    October 1, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    Y’all know Whitney is about to have words with Aretha when she auditions for The Heavenly Choir.

  66. Glendon-Tyler
    October 1, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    I bet Patti Labelle has been having nightly viewing parties.

  67. MrsMe
    October 1, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    Cissy look like she hearing and singing a different song!! Probably the Love Boat theme song. There was not a damn available for Cissy to give, not even on lay-a-way!!

  68. Danni's Mom
    October 1, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    Y’all ARE NOT taking me to HELL with y’all for laughing at this post and the comments…………………….

  69. October 1, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    Cissy might-a been on to something. Cissy was prolly like first of all that dress ‘Retha got on is wrong on every level of the 80s video game Centipede. Every single level! Then the sanging…Cissy knew how that mess went down in rehearsal and couldn’t do nothing ’bout it cuz this was ‘Retha’s show. Either that or Cissy was hungry, too full, constipated or mad at the universe in whole.

  70. October 1, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    I heard the Vevo of it before seeing this live performance. I liked the song. It’s Aretha, so Aretha.
    This performance leaves much to be desired.
    And Cissy…SMH.
    I can’t.

  71. Natasha
    October 1, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    OMG thank you! This is the 2nd time I have tried to listen to Aretha’s version of this song and I can’t make myself listen to it all the way through! People think they are supposed to like and fall all over themselves to compliment any and every project a legendary performer puts out. If I was forced to sing backup to this tomfoolery I would have been just like Cissy – seriously no dambs to give! We know she knows better, she comes from the church where they got swaying and clapping down!

  72. October 1, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    LMAO!! Cissy is my boo though. She had the epic “girl bye” face the whole time. LMAOOOOO sooo hilarious! This reminds me of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_CQEcLXe-E

  73. October 1, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    Ok, so I watched it and Ma Retha ain’t sound all that bad…. Better than the recording, IMO. But Ma Cissy… That level of “don’t give a shit” ought to be patented. Miss Ma’am gives not one single, solitary, damb. And Ma Retha’s makeup and alphet. Her styling team did a driveby number on her, for sure. She ain’t got no mirrors? Her eyes malfunctioning or she got dressed in the dark? No, Miss Aretha. You’ve above all this. No one is saying dress in #geriatricchic, but do better, ma’am. Makingmy gran spin in her grave with this mess. Sigh…

  74. Lizzykins
    October 1, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    First of all, y’all need to take up a collection to help supplement my income as I have completely stopped working because I cannot focus on anything but Travesty 101/#rethagate. All I can say is, why Cissy up there mouthing like a Muppet? Whatever she is thinking, I need her to get one of them Sunday comic thought bubbles, cuz I need to KNOW!!!

  75. Rhonda
    October 1, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    This article is GHETTO!

  76. adam
    October 1, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    Poor Cissy!! She gave birth to the GREATEST SONGSTRESS EVAH!!
    And her she is ..behind # 2.. who is in an upside down mint ice cream sundae (and I don’t mean Sunday) dress.

  77. a416Bajan
    October 1, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    As a sista hauling around multiple DDDs myself, Aunty Re Re some styles just not for us. Gravity is not our friend.
    #underwire
    #comfort straps
    #minimizer
    #haulemupHosanna
    #yankemupYaweh.

  78. Marilyn
    October 1, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    Many black folk love to laugh derisively… They are crabs in a barrel. Aretha’s style has been long established. Someone may have helped her early on but its too late now so leave her be. The song sounded much as one would expect the mature Aretha to sound.

  79. AuntieReRe's Nephew
    October 1, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    It is official. You all who have negative things to say confirm that the era of great vocalists and musical styling is no longer existent. If you knew anything about the Queen you would know that she could care less about what you say because none of you could ever have walked a block in her shoes. You are so gullible and factory brainwashed, you have no idea what you are talking about. As far as Auntie Cissy goes, you have no idea what the evening meant to her, and what was going on. She hit her notes and flashed real smiles, which you bunch of ingrates would never recognize because you would not know genuine if it hit you in your botoxed knee caps. Get bent!

  80. ArethaIsQueen
    October 1, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    As far as I am concerned, Aretha is QUEEN and she can wear anything she wants and sing anyway she wants. You don’t tell the Queen what to do! If you were around and aware of Miss Franklin in 1968 and beyond.. Then you know what I am talking about! And if you weren’t, hush! NOBODY comes close to Miss Aretha Franklin. She is a GODDESS.
    As for Miss Cissy Houston, she is in her 80’s and sometimes uses a cane so I am guessing she was doing well just to stand up there. She is probably in pain. I think her presence was to stop the rumors about bad blood between her & Aretha b/c Aretha could not make it to Whitney’s funeral. Whatever – I have the HIGHEST respect for them both.And only love.

    • notconvincedgranny
      October 3, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      Okay, we get it, you lubs you some ReRe. Just stop posting under so many different names, dude/ette.

  81. October 1, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    You just ended me. I died of laughing. I am gone. It was nice visiting you here. I am writing from the beyond, and think you should know what you’ve done.

  82. October 1, 2014 at 6:48 pm

    Cissy’s side-eye reminds me of how my aunt was giving this lady the stinkeye at church during a business meeting years ago. The lady was being annoying sitting there talking under her breath, snorting and carrying on like everyone was being dishonest or something, and my auntie, the church secretary, was sitting up there giving her the side eye of death! This was more than 25 years ago, and my sister and I are still laughing about it. There is no shade like a church lady shade saints and aints. lol

  83. Ronnielynn
    October 1, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    I wasn’t going to say anything, and this may be in delicate for me to say, but….Aretha’s arm pits look like vaginas.

  84. October 1, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    I think maybe Aretha’s ta-tas swung around quickly and knocked poor Cissy’s head. That’s why she looks so, um, off.

  85. mvj
    October 1, 2014 at 9:41 pm

    Miss Aretha looking like a one of the
    California Rasins. Who did that make up?

  86. Nikki W
    October 1, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    #Sorrynotsorry, but why does auntie ReRe look like she’s making up for a missed prom? Did she borrow that from her granddaughter? While mama Cissy is back there looking like she’s being controlled by an amateur puppeteer? Is she a muppet character? DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE WORDS CISSY?! Why it happen?
    #GlueItGod #AmendItAlmighty

  87. MsBrome
    October 2, 2014 at 1:34 am

    Now, I thought Ms. Cissy rolled her eyes at Herself, to the singer next to her because she did not know the words. Anyway, Congrats to The Queen!

  88. Connie Payton
    October 2, 2014 at 3:29 am

    I cannot remember the last time I laughed so hard!
    Yawl need to stop playing! Aunt Re-Re…….come here babe……..can we talk? (in my Joan Rivers voice….RIP)
    Sugar…….when we get to be women of a certain age there are few things that we need to give up……and one of them is strapless, sleeveless anything! Period! I have no words for Aunt Cissy…..she gives no dambs!

  89. October 2, 2014 at 8:17 am

    Maybe I have a thing for old lady vocals, but it wasn’t as bad as the comments are making it seem.

    It sounds exactly like an Aretha version of Rolling in the Deep. Aretha has always been here for the raspy out of breath falsetto.

    I lived.

    Different expectations, different joy.

    Luvvie you were SPOT on with Cissy. Mama must have owed Rere a favor.

    • howlingbanshee
      October 2, 2014 at 1:11 pm

      Agreed. From the description, I expected this to sound infinitely worse than it did. Then I listened and thought, “How could they expect anything else?” I mean what’s the point of covering a song if you’re just going to try to make yourself a clone of the original?

      But Wow… Mother Houston was truly not here for any of it.

      And…well, Mother Franklin has been conditioning us for years to simply accept her — arms, expansive decolletage, and all — or don’t be bothered.

      *shrug*

  90. James Gowin
    October 2, 2014 at 9:46 am

    First of all, #dead

    I am at work HOLLERING. Y’all got VIP tickets for the Have a Seat Mama Re Re tour straight to hell and I’m here for all of it.

  91. Monnie Keith
    October 2, 2014 at 9:41 pm

    So many of the comments here are on point, especially those questioning where Ms. Franklin’s “ride or die” sister-friends are when she needs them, those ladies who should have been there to tell her: lotion AND cover the batwings; DON’T EVEN THINK OF WEARING THAT DRESS, ARETHA!; Honey, let me wipe some of that off your face. They were NOT there, or anywhere nearby, cause they didn’t tackle her before she stepped onstage! My friends would have been wiping and tugging in front of the cameras. But, let’s be real here: Ms. Franklin has never been known for her sartorial splendor. I am damb near her age and have been a fan from the beginning, and she has never been that performer who showed up onstage in something that was noteworthy for it’s style/beauty/fashionableness. Look at her album covers over the decades past and y’all will feel the truth sink in: She dazzles with her Singing – she don’t blind you with her onstage presence! She could be tacky all week long and sing Amazing Grace and all was forgiven in the end. Her rendition of RitD was #AllAretha2014takeitorsuckeggs. She is a DIVA, in need of a few good sister-friends with style.
    Cissy Houston, on the other hand, is NOT a Diva, has always been a back-up singer (one of the best, back in the day), and shoulda stayed her “I don’t have a damb to give or throw shade on” assitude at home.
    Yes, y’all going to hell for your comments, but not about Ms Franklin or Ms Hous

    • notconvincedgranny
      October 3, 2014 at 4:01 pm

      As a bona-fide senior, I’m mad at Aretha not because she’s older, but for not approaching it with some style and grace. Girlfriend has said in interviews that she designs and styles herself because she wants to be…wait for it…classy. That’s right – nobody can tell her anything because she thinks this. is. da. shit. And she’s right, just not the way she thinks.

  92. Monnie Keith
    October 2, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    Yes, y’all going to hell for your comments, but not about Ms Franklin or Ms Houston, but for relegating older women to a realm where we “get away with” crap cause we old! Hell will be your senior years, kiddies, and they ain’t pretty!

  93. Dee
    October 3, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    Why did you make me watch this?!?! iHollered.

    Mama Cissy was so over it. She was like, “you will get this lackluster finger snap and you will deal.”

  94. Lala
    October 5, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    I am actually proud of Rere. She has dropped quite a bit of weight. I just wish that she had a better style team to accentuate and enhance her natural beauty and hide those things that come with age and weight loss.

  95. Sandy
    October 6, 2014 at 5:26 pm

    You’re all gonna get me fired. I can not with these comments.

  96. CaliGirlED
    October 7, 2014 at 12:58 am

    This post, these comments, I am slain! My stomach is hurting I have laughed so!

  97. Kadima
    October 10, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    People stop it!!! LOL! I AM AT WORK!!! And gwone git fired if I don’t click off this post. I’m an older sister and when I first heard re singing it pissed me off so I didn’t hear or see everything you all are talking about…but then I watched the video! I died, four or five times. And the picture of Cissy…I can’t. Now I can appreciate Re, however, you gotta know when to stop. “Rollin in the Deep”?? I was rolling at my desk!!!

  98. IamAlwaysAmazed
    November 1, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    I watched it — oh no
    I watched it again – ain’t that Cissy Houston? Oh Lawd
    I got no words — well, I really got lots a words , but my mama raised me better

  99. JJ
    December 26, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    I read this to my family after Christmas dinner and we were all literally crying laughing. Thanks for the gift of laughter!

  100. cindy
    December 26, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    True story: In a long ago life, I worked for a lingerie store that specialized in bras for full-figured women, in fact, we sold bras up to a size 56-J (who knew they made em that big???) One of our regular customers was a professional seamstress whose ordered strapless 44-F bras for Mama ‘Retha and it was her job to sew them into her dresses (them strapless gowns that you all is speakin’ of). however, after watching this video, I know Ms. Seamstress Lady is no longer in the employ of Mama Re…

  101. Dee
    March 1, 2015 at 12:35 am

    “I was over here nervous dinnamug because they might have tumbled out the dress and what is we gon do then?” I’m still on the floor … “Did I leave the greens on the stove” You are truly gifted AND hilarious!!

  102. bernabrg
    March 10, 2015 at 10:11 pm

    I haven’t watched the video yet, your post had me in tears laughing so hard.