I hate Spirit Airlines with the intensity of 1,000 African suns at high noon! You should know by now that Spirit Airlines is my archnemesis because they make Soul Plane look like Virgin Atlantic and I never let an opportunity to roast them to pieces pass me by. It’s in my Life By-Laws next to “Eat all the rice.”
The following things suck about Spirit Airlines:
- Their customer service (they actually posted a sign on their Twitter that they use a robot for their social media. Don’t expect any help from them there).
- Their actual planes (they’re tiny and old and clearly junk yard rejects)
- Their fees (yes, you might pay $120 for that ticket and you think you got a deal but when you get to the airport and they charge you $35 for a carryon, $4 for printing out your boarding pass and $5.43 for breathing in oxygen near their counter, you’ll wonder why you didn’t just pay the $250 for a legit airline)
- The seats (they barely recline so you’ll be sitting at almost a 90 degree angle your entire flight. Your body ends up being shaped like a swastika. It’s a sad state of affairs. Your back will cuss you the hell out)
- Everything. EVERY SINGLE THING. Nothing about Spirit Airlines is suck-deficient. They are so successful at sucking and making money off it that i question anyone who willingly flies them more than once.
One thing I have learned in this life is that anyone who says “I like Spirit Airlines” cannot be trusted and they have terrible judgment. They probably listen to Nickelback too. I have a personal vendetta against Spirit Airlines. You could not pay me to fly that rusty tin can in the sky again. NO MA’AM! I get mad whenever I even see the word “Spirit” in my airfare search results. I just start cussing and fighting the air.
As if that isn’t bad enough. Then they have the nerve to be tacky as hell about their marketing. They stay doing outta pocket stuff in the name of promoting their janky $9 sales. Their latest tomfoolery is using the celebrity nude pics leakage as fodder to sell tickets.
How bad are they? Well I already wrote about them once. Read: Spirit Airlines is the Four Loko of the Airline Industry.
The funniest comments I’ve ever heard about Spirit Airlines are from my commenters. Below are some of them.
“I used them on a trip to Myrtle Beach there and back. I’m already terrified of flying. When the plane started to accelerate a loud rattling sound began and didn’t stop until we landed. When I asked what that sound was I was told it was “normal.” Needless to say I cried on that flight and prayed the whole way through.” – FJ
“I refer to them as the bring your own folding chair airliner.” – AWB
“Listen to me. I have ONE experience with Spirit. It was THE worst flying experience ever. It was so bad that when me and my boys got back in town, we all went out to drink to toast our safe arrival home.” – PDJ
“I flew Spirit to ATL one year. I was with musicians. I remember feeling like we were in a bad C movie. It was really, really hot and the plane was sweating so much on the inside but only sweating in the rear part of the plane where we were sitting. Water dripping….lol…smh…The worst ever!!!!!” – TB
“Spirit Airlines is for husbands with two families and clothing on each end.” – RJ
“I once had my tray table taped up with clear mailing tape on a Spirit flight. If they would have done the window though it woulda be trouble… trouble (Bernie Mac voice)” – CR
“NEVER AGAIN. I got off that flight wanting to hit everybody with my purse…that they made me pay to bring on.” – MK
“Flew from Newark to South Carolina… 2 hour flight…Very bumpy ride.. When the aircraft landed the clap was so loud I felt like I was at a concert.. Everybody was cheering.. We thought we were going to die!” – DW
“Those planes are held together with bubble gum and paper clips. NEVA EVA AGAIN!” – EK
“I flew Spirit once. I wasn’t right for about a week after that mess.” – AB
“Don’t forget the cup o noodles n the fudgery that’s called combos… What airline you know sale gawt DAYUMB noodles?” – SB
“Mayne, you gotta have money on your books to fly Spirit!” – CM
“I knew something was up when the guy who checked me in at the gate, was also doing the emergency presentation and talking about taking flying lessons. NOPE! I just love my life AND I have too many student loans to pay back. Sallie Mae said no.” – VP
“When I worked in the travel industry, I made it a point NOT to sell Spirit. They are the boil on the butt of the airline industry. If a customer insisted on saving a few coins by using them, I would end my conversation with a stern “you’ve been warned”.’ – KVN
“Almost lost my life on Spirit… In addition to what everyone else said… If/When the plane sits on the Tarmac for what seems like ever, then decides to get to the front of the runway, next in line for take off, only for the pilot to ANNOUNCE that we had to return to the hate because we don’t have enough fuel for the trip…. That’s a problem… He didn’t know that while we were sitting there? He was just going to take off with my life sitting there? Oh hell nawl.” – QS
“These Muthsuckas make you pay for your damn carry ons!!! I’d rather walk in the desert for 40 years like the children of Israel to get to my destination then to Fly on spirit ever again!” – SD
“Ah, the mighty-mighty fine print. Those fees are ridiculous! Stick-up kids! The CEO must be Captain Hook, that’s some straight piracy. And beverages not included. Next thing you know the floor drops out the plane and passengers gotta use their feet a-la the Flintstones’ method to help with take-off. And I bet due to safety reasons you are never free to move around the cabin. Ever. No *bing* for you!” – DS
“Girl spirit airlines is dollar tree in the flight industry. I think the pilots just couldnt get hired no where else and the last second delays. I kiss the ground and pray the whole time lord let me touch down safe….spirit is definitely a last resort flight” – KM
“Spirit probably will make a new class, indentured servant class. You can’t leave the plane till you bust some bricks and cinder blocks.” – RH
“I flew from Florida to New York and I felt like the seats were unpopped kernels. The seats are cut up like a wanna be gangster who got his ass handed to him . Jet blue for life!!” – TM
“OMG; flew from Baltimore to Ft.Lauderdale flight was delayed 8-hours. The airport had closed to the extent no more outgoing flights and TSA was closed. The only option for food was Dunkin Donuts and Subway; and after all that they only offered a $50.00 voucher towards a future flight. But you had to redeem it in 90-days. NEVER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN.” – KM
“The one time my aunt flew with Spirit to go to a cousin’s funeral…she died…the day after the funeral and never came home…so Spirit Airlines has literally always meant death to me.” – AS
“I worked for them when they’d pretty much just started; my first real job – as a reservations agent – in a little office in Harper Woods, MI. The owner (then) worked a few feet from my workspace. At that time they only had a couple of planes flying senior citizens back and forth to Atlantic City. Humble beginnings, & now they make mega bread, so somebody likes their rates/rides. Never flew with them though, and we got to fly free.” – CK
“Baltimore to Las Vegas for either just under $300. I was in the way back, so I knew my seat didn’t recline. But I learned that neither did anyone else’s seats recline. There was a storm in Vegas for the return flight so we were leaving late, but how about they kept saying my flight was leaving and even showing that my flight was already airborne, when me and every other passenger flying Spirit to ANYWHERE that evening was still sitting in the airport at damn near midnight? Did anyone bother to say anything about us leaving late, or what the problem was? Nope. When they finally decided to board our plane for real, they just got on the mic and started talking. No apology. No please ignore our automated flight announcement system. No free cheese and cracker vouchers. No nothing! Never again. Ugh!” – MR
“Flew from boston to jamaica. On the way there, 4 hr delay. Otw back–went thru customs, tsa. Get to the gate and spirit ropes off the gate, check our bags again and if you left the gate area you had to show your tix/id to get back in!!! Where dey do that at? Never again!! Then the flight was late so i missed my connecting flight and would have to spend the nite in florida (they gave us $10 food voucher). Oh but then another flight became available but unless u told them u had a ride from the airport u couldnt get on the new flight. Chile…” – KL
“I only stick with them for the cheap AF flights. Otherwise you wouldn’t catch me sitting in a stranger’s lap unless it was Mardi gras and I was expecting another ten beads!” – AD
“I HATE them. Yep. (Notice use of strong word for emphasis.) The Ghost of airlines past AKA spirit left me stranded in Costa Rica. Cancelled the return flight on a Monday morning while we waited at the gate and then told all passengers they could possibly get us out on Friday. POSSIBLY! Some folks said that would’ve been lovely to be stranded in Costa Rica. I said this to them, stranded doesn’t pay my mortgage/insurance/utilities or complete my work responsibilities but working does! The Ghost of airlines past could care less about us getting out. After an addition $550 with their funky $300 refund, I made it back home, one day later. I hate them!!!! Plus their customer service sucks pickled squirrel nuts! Hate them! “- KP
“My mom flew spirit for the first time last week and said it was so horrible she’s embarrassed to tell anyone she flew spirit.” – CDB
“i got stuck in Colombia for 2 days … missed work.. and they told me they could fly me to Canada for 7 days before i could get a flight to ny…. this was after the plane kept “restarting” while they were attempting to take off… we missed our connecting flights 2 days in a row… and i got my money back for the flight i had to buy home myself…. about 6 months later… lets not forget you have to pay to carry on a bag…” – TA
“Spirit is the only airline that finds potholes in the sky. One time on a Spirit flight was one too many for me.” – DD
“I HATED Spirit. When my family and I traveled to the Dominican Republic they managed to lose some of our luggage EVERY TIME. The worst and last time we used them was for my 15th birthday party they lost the baggage that contained my main dress (it included the giant dress, tiara, heels and nothing else) as well as the bag with ALL my clothes in it. We basically had to harass them because they kept giving us the run around. Found the bag a week before the party was due. After that we started using Jetblue.” – AP
No lie on the Spirit Airlines trip to Mexico I was sitting in front of a group of Nuns. I prayed to Catholic Jesus the whole flight. Had the flight to Mexico delayed because the window in my row FELL out. They duct taped it and let us fly. – JJ
“Spirit airlines, the fastest way to become spirit cause you gone die today…” – VV
“Greyhound bus with wings.. I hate Spirit” – NE
“I got a free round trip voucher to fly Spirit when they oversold my flight. I just couldn’t do it again. Went ahead and bought a ticket on American. I’d rather walk barefoot across the nation Forest Gump style than to fly Spirit again…” – MD
“I’m surprised they didn’t make us all lift the floor panels up and use our feet to help stop the plane… Then charge us for helping them! Worst airlines, worst staff, worst policies… Helll worse EVERYTHING!!! #flashbacksfromthankgiving2013” – NN
“Like an ’84 Lincoln in the sky!” – RMS
“Who was driving the plane? Snoop Dog, Method Man and Kevin Hart? Nope absolutely NOT……SMH” – PSB
“Planes being held together with chewing gum and shoe string.” – LAR
“Yes it is the absolute worst airline ever!!! Soul plane last class seats would be better than spirit airlines flight any day!” – NN
“Spirit Airlines is like those Fung Wah buses in NY! Dont do it!” – NS
Spirit Airlines is the boil on the yansh of Aviation. They are the Florida of the skies. I beg of thee, beautiful people. DO NOT FLY SPIRIT AIRLINES! What you think is savings is gonna cost you MORE in the end. I just have to spew my hate of Spirit Airlines every couple of weeks to cleanse my spirit. It’s like microdermabrasion for my soul.
Have you ever flown Spirit? Did you kiss the ground when you landed? Do you wonder why they’re the Old Country Buffet of Aviation? Tell a G. Lay your burdens down. We are all here for you.