What Happened to Carrot Top and Why Does He Look Like Walking Photoshop?
Carrot Top’s comedy has always poked fun at what he looked like because he had the bright red hair and was all gangly. I see he got sick of being extra skinny one day so he decided to get into the gym and work himself tired. And I also think he felt like looking permanently confused/surprised so he opted for a couple of surgeries. I hadn’t seen him in a while but then I was sent this photo.
WUT? Why?? Let’s just go from the top of the head down.
First of all, that bed head he’s rocking. Didn’t nobody tell him that Jesus invented anti-frizz products? His hair looks like it’d zap you with static electricity if you touched it. Redheads everywhere should be pissed because Carrot Top is outchea making yall look bad.
We get to the eyebrows and I wonder what permanent marker he used to get those so sharp. He is one bad angle away from chola city. ^__^. Sir, you coulda just gone to the MAC counter at Macy’s and they’d hook you up with a proper beat if you spend $40 on products. It’s totally worth it. For one, they’d make sure you didn’t pick you the jet black brow pencil because it does nothing for your tone. And the contrast with your hair.
The eyeliner game is legit, though. I’ll give him props there. See? I’m not a complete hater.
And if we even put all that aside, WHY THESE SHOULDERS AND ARMS? Dude. It looks like Carrot Top is rocking shoulder made of baseballs. Who did he train with that got him outchea with arms that look photoshopped (this pic is apparently untouched). Also, was symmetry busy? Or is it just the angle of this pic that makes the left arm look so much more brolic? I just got questions.
These arms look like they’re too short to box with God and because they belong to a T-Rex. Damb, dawg. This is why it’s important to train with professionals so you don’t look like a Thundercat.
Chile, bless his heart. I don’t even have the energy to talk about homeboy’s nails. He needs a manicure so bad.
Anywho, I posted this pic on the Awesomely Luvvie fan page and my people went IN like only they could. Below are their comments.
“What in the name of Popeye shoulders…?” – DC
“Looks like ole boy got cunt punted through the Cheerios of life.” – LVA
“Was he just released from the grip of a giant?” – SEW
“WHAT THE?!?!?! I’mma need for him to NOT be outchea lookin like Anorexic Hulk with an Orange Lace Front! #FixItJesus” – NY
“How is he melting and inflating at the same time?!” – FL
“He looks like a genetically modified vegetable. #monosanta” – DKS
“Ok seriously… How long do carrots live before you get tired of looking at them and turn them into a cake???” – JCA
“I wanna know what eyebrow pencil he’s using bc it looks like magic marker…#eyebrowslaid” – NN
“There was a scene in that Saved by the Bell movie where Screech imagined he was buff, and they put his head on a computer generated body. This picture looks like that – but its REAL!!!” – KM
“He must work out with this chick:” – FAR
“Why does he remind me of that simpson episode where Homer had that one super arm? – EHC
“His body hasn’t been the same since he gave birth to Shaun White” – MCK
“Was he going for the reflection in a fun house mirror look? If so, he’s nailed it.” – SB
“Do they make shoulder muscle implants?! WTF!!!” – AJ
“He looks like the next Villain in whichever Marvel movie is next” – SS
“Stop the madness. He looks like Grace Coddington on steroids” – DJM
“I don’t usually talk bad about people (well, on most days) but this dude has always given me nightmares. Like: spiders, Carrot Top, public speaking, death… my biggest fears, in that order.” – BW
“Shoulder titties.” – SLG
“He looks like a sloth with a weave” – SS
“His right arm implant is crooked” – KC
“Whoever working him out on just the left side has to be the person fillin in his eyebrows. One of these don’t look like the other…” – MW
“His beauty is just so unfortunate” – SW
“That dude look like chucky on steroids” – EH
“The worst violation in this photo is the front tuck!! He looks like the unholy offspring of Minnie Driver & The Ultimate Warrior. Adorable” – ZO
“I would not do him with YOUR cookie.” – MA
LMAO! No chill to be had EVER with LuvvNation. But yeah, whappened? Why it happen? Will it happen again? He looks like someone’s bad photoshop, except it’s him in real life. That’s sad. Looking like the Patron Saint of Why We Need the Love Yourself Movement.