The 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2014

When I did the first ever “Dumbest Tweets” list in 2010, it was with Miss Zindzi, the Matron Saint of Catching Twitter Foolery. That list started something (DumbestTweets.com) so it’s only right that she come back to help do the 5th list.

Dumbest-Tweets-EVER-Button

1.

Meaty oaker

Zindzi: Meaty. Oaker. For some reason, this invokes images of Paul Bunyan. Or any buff dude that chops stuff. Either way, NAW.

Luvvie: Speaking of mediocrity…. >____>

2.

Mature Demeter

Zindzi: I’m assuming that he meant “demeanor” and not an aging Greek goddess. Or maybe I’m wrong. I dunno.

Luvvie: Right. You don’t know his life! O_o

3.

Keyshia Cole Paris

Zindzi: Can’t wait to go Times Square. Hopefully I won’t miss seeing the silhouette of the Golden Gate Bridge! -_-

Luvvie: Lemme find out they towed the Eiffel Tower from Paris to London. LEMME FIND OUT!

4.

Mock my words

Zindzi: You don’t have to tell us twice…

Luvvie: It will be our pleasure.

5.

Good writtens

Zindzi: Good writtens: GoodReads for the grammatically-challenged.

6.

Math is hard

Zindzi: Math is hard.

Luvvie: Plus 1 carry the 8 minus the 2. THAT IS NOT IT.

7.

Chief Keef

Zindzi: And 115% embarrassing.

8.

Dead when born

Zindzi: I’m going to accept that you’re probably higher than giraffe eyelashes right now.

9.

Synonym Rolls

Luvvie: I hope antonym rolls aren’t the same. >_______>

10.

Double Ganger

Zindzi: Double ganger – When you work part time for the Crips and part time for the Bloods.

11.

Barraco barner 2

Zindzi: This is a just cornucopia of failure.

Luvvie: Dumber than a box of rocks.

12.

Enterlectual

Zindzi: I don’t think you’ll EVER find the one, bro.

Luvvie: Enter.Lectual. I love when people want something they can’t even offer.

13.

rondeivu

Zindzi: Might need to set up some Rosetta Stone.

Luvvie: You better say “DATE” because it’s simpler. “Rendezvous” didn’t French like this for you to ruin it.

14.

Down Cendrum

Zindzi: This is just painful to read.

Luvvie: Down CENDRUM. Jesus be a fence and spell check.

15.

RIP Maya Rosa

Zindzi: Why don’t you walk away from your keyboard?

Luvvie: WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING IN SCHOOL?!?!?

16.

Massaginist

Zindzi: Massaginist? Is that a masseuse that refuses to serve women? Help me out here.

Luvvie: #Massaginist. #YouOkBro? Your spelling surely ain’t. He meant “misogynist.” We will file this under “bless your heart.”

17.

 

Versionities 2

Zindzi: You tell ‘em girl! *snaps in Z formation*

Luvvie: Versionities, though. Why did all these children get left behind?? WHY?? In case you’re wondering, they meant virginities.

18.

LaborDay

Zindzi: Don’t forget Arbor Day, the day we celebrate cheap wine coolers!

19.

demands

Zindzi: I had to read this multiple times before I realize that they meant ‘demons’. Demons, y’all.

Luvvie: I can’t. I’m unable to can.

20.

Delta Tweet

Zindzi: “And on the right, a Ghanaian citizen on his way to work”. -_- Surely they could’ve found a picture of a human being.

Luvvie: The only giraffes in Ghana are probably in their zoos. FAIL, Delta!

21.

700 dates 2

Zindzi: I don’t know much about algebra, but…

Luvvie: But… no.

22.

whitish 2

Luvvie: *deepest sigh ever*

23.

Dominoes-FailLuvvie: O_______________________________O <— extreme side-eye

24.

AskCheyB

Luvvie: When people who ain’t got no place to give life advice open their mouths, this is the type of asinine, dangerous thing they spew. No country for this dude.

25.

Hallofcost

Zindzi: Hall of Cost. *packs up and leaves 2014*

I just cannot. Shoutout to @MissZindzi because without her, this list wouldn’t have happened! And join the Dumbest Tweets Facebook fan page. And of course, follow DumbestTweets.com for updates throughout the year.

And in case you missed past year’s lists, look below.

* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2013
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012 (Part 1)
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012 (Part 2)
* 20 Dumbest Celebrity Tweets of 2012
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011 (Part 1)
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011 (Part 2)
* 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010


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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • richjob December 31, 2014, 3:12 pm

    I miss the old days when Tyrese had his own category. Good list, though.

    • Leslie The Geek December 31, 2014, 3:46 pm

      Tyrese’s nonsense was the best. He saves it for Facebook a lot now though.

  • Tai December 31, 2014, 3:26 pm

    What is going on with the educational system? These babies can come into the world working an iPad and texting with their eyes closed, but can’t spell, know nothing of their history, and then have the nerve to think us “old people” are stupid. #FixItJesus

    • Christy January 7, 2015, 1:11 pm

      Yes, to all of this. The hall of cost, barraco barner, Eiffel Tower in London, acknowledge stalkers, not knowing the difference b/t Maya Angelou and Rosa Parks… *le sigh* I so want to laugh, but the stupidity is painful. SO PAINFUL.

  • Goldiesweets December 31, 2014, 3:37 pm

    LOL Yes!! I been waiting ALL YEAR on this list!! Did not disappoint.

  • Nik December 31, 2014, 3:50 pm

    I still cannot understand how people are signed up for websites that require thinking, writing, spelling…when they can do NONE of the above! Quitting.

  • Kierah December 31, 2014, 4:22 pm

    Some people have to be trying to make this list. I mean they are deliberately distancing themselves from spellcheck when it only wants to help.

    • Kat December 31, 2014, 4:48 pm

      Dead… Not deliberately. CTFU! They running from the spell check like it’s Ebola.

  • Christina Patrice December 31, 2014, 4:23 pm

    But like….people tweet from phones and tablets that spell-check for you…..most of the suggested words are at least in the ballpark. I mean hell, even my iPhone tries to use context clues.

    :::logs out of life::: all the children got left behind :-/

  • Gerri Sainte December 31, 2014, 6:15 pm

    I cried tears at ‘good writtens’ and damn near had a stroke trying to decipher the ‘virginities’ one. This is our future, Lord? #done #dead

  • Shay DeShade December 31, 2014, 7:25 pm

    I can NOT with the mess at #24. That is beyond foolishness.

  • notconvincedgranny December 31, 2014, 7:39 pm

    What’s wrong with #25? Everyone knows that the Hall of Cost leads to the Dungeon of Debt!

    Stop the world and let me off…

    • Heha January 2, 2015, 2:47 am

      /Flatline

  • blackprofessor December 31, 2014, 7:52 pm

    Bury me near “hall of cost…”

  • GG December 31, 2014, 9:53 pm

    I died a million deaths at Synonym rolls!

  • Nobody's Bae December 31, 2014, 10:40 pm

    You know what, we need to stop teaching to children to sound out their words in order to spell them. It doesn’t work for every word!

    People are out here tweeting like they’re hooked on phonics. No ma’am!

    • Lucia January 1, 2015, 9:41 am

      That’s actually a good point tbh. I’m such a terrible speller but thankfully I have always been an avid reader and when I’m blanking can at least remember what the word is supposed to look like. So I get the just bad spelling ones. But some of these poor souls have clearly never seen these words in their life.

  • Alicia D December 31, 2014, 11:41 pm

    Oh my goodness 17, 19 and 24 are the worst.

  • GK January 1, 2015, 4:24 am

    Barraco Barner….HAHAHAHAH.
    I’ll be waiting for the day when she asks, “Is Miss Shello Barner really married to Barraco Barner? Shouldn’t she be Missus Shello Barner?”

    • Klysha January 3, 2015, 4:08 am

      I cried real tears at the thought of that tweet…lol

  • QueensOfLagos January 1, 2015, 4:32 am

    ** Luvvie: Speaking of Meaty O’Creaty… >___>

  • Karla January 1, 2015, 8:32 am

    “Sound it out.” That takes on a whole new meaning with these tweets.

  • Carla Wynker January 1, 2015, 12:55 pm

    Hall Of Cost? Bless that guy’s heart, he actually meant well.

  • Drea January 1, 2015, 2:53 pm

    I am unable! I laughed so hard. Thank you for this roundup and hilarious commentary, Luvvie and Miss Zindzi. See you next year!

  • Calvin January 1, 2015, 7:10 pm

    We need a new saying for these minus-minded motherfuckers: “It’s better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth, or type atrociously, and remove all doubt.”

  • Sososoph January 1, 2015, 10:25 pm

    This list was so good, have you considered compiling the top five dumbest tweets of all times? With the top tweet from each year 2010 to 2014?

  • k lynn January 2, 2015, 9:09 am

    I cried so hard reading these. …. I need Jesus to come back TODAY. Make it stop

  • A416Bajan January 2, 2015, 12:00 pm

    They should all take the advice of #25.Pick up a book:dictionary/thesaurus.

  • Ashlee January 2, 2015, 12:11 pm

    In regards to #22

    Pretty sure there is a show called “Whitish”. I believe it is commonly now as “Friends”. You’re welcome @princess4_megan !

    • ashlee January 2, 2015, 12:13 pm

      Known*******
      Lawd, no!! The illiteracy hath rubbed off on me!

    • Stacie May 22, 2015, 12:35 am

      I thought Whitish was commonly known as Seinfield!

  • ZaidahNicole January 2, 2015, 1:42 pm

    ” … higher than giraffe eyelashes …”

    Call the coroner, please.

  • mzmiamiheat January 4, 2015, 6:32 am

    I shared the foolery with my bff and child…they died with me. Thanks Luvvie, this is your fault

  • SIPort January 5, 2015, 8:18 am

    You don’t know how much I needed this laugh this morning. Thank you. Luvvie, you are the best.

  • Ms. Q January 5, 2015, 2:05 pm

    #23 tops them all (only one that had me lol at work – literally)… but seriously, these po’ children need life lessons and to go straight back to elementary school. The babies know more than them – where are their parents? I pray none of them are grown adults with a job!!

  • Clare Blacc January 6, 2015, 1:45 pm

    Lmao “hall of cost” ….my people, my people.

  • Silk! January 7, 2015, 2:01 pm

    I’m still amazed “synonym” was spelled correctly!

    • Sherry February 22, 2015, 8:16 am

      I know, right!?
      I did a double take and then my head exploded.

  • Jessica January 7, 2015, 3:44 pm

    I am NOT able!!

  • Miss Demeanor February 4, 2015, 9:48 am

    “higher than giraffe eyelashes “…YOU’RE KILLING ME!

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