A Barack and Michelle Love Story Biopic Is Coming. It Better Not Be Awful!

Biopics are all the rage right now because every movie studio, TV channel and semi-funded creating establishment is re-telling the stories of some of our favorite icons, living legends and slightly successful public figure.

Let’s face it: most of them suck. From the Nina Simone biopic starring Zoe Saldana to the Aaliyah biopic on Lifetime. Nina’s biopic hasn’t come out yet but in what world does it make sense to have Zoe play her? IN CRAZY WORLD. The Aaliyah movie was so terrible that Wendy Williams is STILL getting new wigs created from the epic snatching of hers (she was producer of it). And the Whitney Houston biopic is coming in January and we saw the chia pet Gumy curly wig they placed gingerly on the scalp of the dude playing Bobby. LAWD IT’S GON BE SO TURRBLE!

I just have zero faith in Hollywood’s ability to create a flawless movie about real people and that is why I am not here for a Barack and Michelle movie. NO, I AM NOT. Deadline just announced that Homegrown Pictures is working on a film that will tell the love story of the POTUS and FLOTUS, back when they first met and got together on the southside of Chicago. It will chronicle how their first date went or something like that. It is tentatively called “Southside with You.”

O______________________________________O Let me just use this to show what my face is looking like.

Cats giving epic side-eye

Seriously?? A whole team of people sat in a fancy conference room and they all talked about this movie and someone said “I was thinking we called this ‘Southside with You.'” and someone else was like “OMG YES. There it is.” And everyone walked out the room to grab lunch and it sat well in their spirit. Then they told people that was the title and no one was embarrassed for themselves. IS THIS HOW IT WENT?

“Southside with you” is not a proper name for anything. Not even a hot dog stand selling day-old bacon dogs that the seller lies about and says it’s all beef. “Southside with you” is not an appropriate name for a touring company that shows you all the best spots in Hyde Park. So I know good and damb well that is a piss poor choice for the name of a movie describing the glorious love story of President Obama and Goddess Michelle.

On a good note, at least they got a naturally dark woman to play Michelle. Apparently, Tika Sumpter has been cast. Who’s going to play Barack? History and bad decisions of yesterday tell us that he will be 5’4 and look nothing like our President. I bet they’re considering Taye Diggs. Or Benicio Del Toro.

Plus, of all films they need to make, do we really need one about the Obamas’ first date? Are they fresh out of scripts from people? Do they need to go tap on Issa Rae or Justin Simien of Dear White People and ask what they’re working on and fund that? I just don’t see how and why they’re picking THIS film. I find the Obamas hella interesting but if a film on them is gonna be all limited to a date and how they first got together as opposed to their journey to the greatness of today, then NAWL.

Barack Michelle Obama Love Story

I love the love of the Obamas and how they seem like true partners so I am not here for a movie portraying it unless it’s going to be done AMAZINGLY. I need it to be flaw-deficient and I highly doubt that this one will do that. They can’t even get a name that doesn’t sound like a skit starring Kenan Thompson. “SOUTHSIDE WITH YOU. WAZZUP WITH YOU?”

Southside with you. Chile… womp.

I don’t think they’re gonna do Barack Hussein Obama and Michelle LaVaughn Robinson the justice they deserve and I’d rather they saddown than release some badly-written, terribly acted mess. I just want them to promise us it won’t be awful. I’ll still see it, though. Because: nosy. Maybe it’ll be good and I’ll have to eat my words.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Malcolmisha X December 9, 2014, 3:57 pm

    They gone get Benzino to play Barack and talmbout “He put his neck on the line to become president”.
    Im side-eyeing all these producers!
    “Southside for you” sounds like the name if a place where I could get my nails done and cootchie waxed at the same damn time
    Hollywood, take all the vacant seats plz n thanx.

    • Maxine Shaw December 9, 2014, 4:13 pm

      “He put his neck on the line to become president”.

      I am dead and gone. Deceased.

    • steevie December 9, 2014, 4:20 pm

      LMFAO MALCOMISHA YOU NEED TO LEAVE.

    • Jer December 9, 2014, 5:13 pm

      Madam you’ve got to go. You ain’t got to go home but you gotta get the hell outta here.

    • Amber December 9, 2014, 5:18 pm

      Girl, I almost dropped my new kindle fire!! Talmbout “he put his neck on the line…” just a mess!!!

    • TheMrs December 12, 2014, 1:01 pm

      THIS is going to have me cacklin’ for the rest of the weekend. Now go take a seat Malcolmisha!

    • Saundra Davis December 17, 2014, 11:47 am

      <~ had to "Google" Benzino… #OldLadyProblems

    • Felicia December 17, 2014, 11:53 am

      Malcolmisha! His neck on the line! Nails done and cootchie waxed at the same damn time! No ma’am, you have slayed me today, completely unable…

  • me3 December 9, 2014, 4:03 pm

    Southside with you???? I’m from ‘tha wild hunneds’ and even I don’t like that damn title. The hell?!

  • OddSoulTurner December 9, 2014, 4:23 pm

    I was half expecting a FLOTUS side eye gif somewhere within this article, but it is what it is…

    Anyway, despite the turrible hairpiece they put on faux-Bobby, I’m actually looking forward to the Whitney biopic. I feel like Angela Bassett can do no wrong. She could direct puppies doing Shakespeare and I’d probably be like “YAAAAAS, HUNTY DID DAT!” But I’m just weird like that…

  • Carla Wynker December 9, 2014, 5:21 pm

    LMFAO!! I’m not here for that Biopic either. Southside with you? That sounds like a cheesy rap song title or something. And ehy focus on their first date and not their whole journey, this is senseless.

  • Mary Burrell December 9, 2014, 5:37 pm

    Very funny we need laughter.

  • KeiKey December 9, 2014, 6:04 pm

    IMO, I can see Harry Lennix portraying our current POTUS in an official, high budget biopic. On the lower end, I envision someone like Mel Jackson.

    • SIPort December 10, 2014, 8:03 am

      I, too, am a fan of Harry Lennix portraying President Obama when that movie is done. I just think he would be terrific in the role. Haven’t decided on who I think would be the perfect Michelle.

    • dmcmillian72 December 11, 2014, 10:34 am

      YESSSS! Harry Lennix would be perfect!!!

  • KP December 9, 2014, 7:28 pm

    When I first heard about this I thought, WOMP. Not b/c I don’t like the Obamas, them my kinfolk, but 1) It sounded hella uninteresting and 2) I just have a feeling it’s going to be hella cheesy. I, too, raised an eyebrow at the title “Southside with You.” Like wth is that even suppose to mean. I mean Barack did grow up on the south side right, so is that where the name comes from??? And if this movie is focused around their first date, Idk how comfortable I am with my President’s romantic life depicted on the screens. They’re like my imaginary God parents and I don’t want to see no hanky panky (even if it is acting)! Pluuuuuussss, you know how the title of the movie is normally said in the film? Uhm yea, how will “Southside with you” be used. Like will he announce his campaign and someone says, “the south side is with you.” I really don’t want “Butler” to be the only film that got Barack Obama right.

    moderndaykay.wordpress.com

  • RozB December 10, 2014, 5:07 am

    I can imagine Benecio del Toro as President Obama. The only man with bags above and below his eyes, looking at Michelle like love at first sight. =__=

    • SisiAtl December 10, 2014, 9:06 am

      “The only man with bags above and below his eyes, looking at Michelle like love at first sight. =__=”

      ––––– you ma’am, owe me a new keyboardt. Got me spilling my Tazo Passion tea over here. lol

  • NC December 10, 2014, 1:26 pm

    Man!! I got a better name!!

    “Southside to West Wing”

    DAAAAAAAAAAAAANG Why they do my people so bad!!?!?!

  • notconvincedgranny December 10, 2014, 4:39 pm

    Was the movie about The Shrub called “My Daddy Got Me This Job”?

    Was a movie about Reagan and that Big Head Enabler he married called “Weeelllllllll”?

    How about Clinton – “They Called Me the First Black President and I Got Treated Accordingly”?

    Of course, a person of color is identified by who dey wit. Southside, amirite?

    And I thought I had already seen the worst idea in the entire long sad history of horrible notions. Man, I’m finding a fresh planet to move to and go radio silent.

  • RaeJ December 10, 2014, 5:56 pm

    **deep sigh**

    Now all I keep hearing in my head is Lil KeKe’s song Southside…(Houston thing)

  • mzmiami December 12, 2014, 7:48 am

    Aaliyah’s biopic (if it can even really be called that) left me wall sliding the skin off my back…I couldn’t handle them doing this no justice…I just would pic out my coffin and die immediately. Do not embalm me or anything. just let me go.

  • Evelyn December 16, 2014, 2:40 pm

    I’ve got it figured out. I get it now. Lifetime KNOWS their movies are terrible. They KNOW. This is their version of Sharknado.

  • roberta December 17, 2014, 10:05 am

    At the rate in which these horrible biopics are coming, i believe these tv stations and producers are just trying to stay on peoples minds and social media outlets. Even bad publicity is good publicity at this point. Seems the onlt way they will be given justice is if they just play themselves in their own movie, and even then, someone will still find some way to screw it up * 🙁 *

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