A Barack and Michelle Love Story Biopic Is Coming. It Better Not Be Awful!
Biopics are all the rage right now because every movie studio, TV channel and semi-funded creating establishment is re-telling the stories of some of our favorite icons, living legends and slightly successful public figure.
Let’s face it: most of them suck. From the Nina Simone biopic starring Zoe Saldana to the Aaliyah biopic on Lifetime. Nina’s biopic hasn’t come out yet but in what world does it make sense to have Zoe play her? IN CRAZY WORLD. The Aaliyah movie was so terrible that Wendy Williams is STILL getting new wigs created from the epic snatching of hers (she was producer of it). And the Whitney Houston biopic is coming in January and we saw the chia pet Gumy curly wig they placed gingerly on the scalp of the dude playing Bobby. LAWD IT’S GON BE SO TURRBLE!
I just have zero faith in Hollywood’s ability to create a flawless movie about real people and that is why I am not here for a Barack and Michelle movie. NO, I AM NOT. Deadline just announced that Homegrown Pictures is working on a film that will tell the love story of the POTUS and FLOTUS, back when they first met and got together on the southside of Chicago. It will chronicle how their first date went or something like that. It is tentatively called “Southside with You.”
O______________________________________O Let me just use this to show what my face is looking like.
Seriously?? A whole team of people sat in a fancy conference room and they all talked about this movie and someone said “I was thinking we called this ‘Southside with You.'” and someone else was like “OMG YES. There it is.” And everyone walked out the room to grab lunch and it sat well in their spirit. Then they told people that was the title and no one was embarrassed for themselves. IS THIS HOW IT WENT?
“Southside with you” is not a proper name for anything. Not even a hot dog stand selling day-old bacon dogs that the seller lies about and says it’s all beef. “Southside with you” is not an appropriate name for a touring company that shows you all the best spots in Hyde Park. So I know good and damb well that is a piss poor choice for the name of a movie describing the glorious love story of President Obama and Goddess Michelle.
On a good note, at least they got a naturally dark woman to play Michelle. Apparently, Tika Sumpter has been cast. Who’s going to play Barack? History and bad decisions of yesterday tell us that he will be 5’4 and look nothing like our President. I bet they’re considering Taye Diggs. Or Benicio Del Toro.
Plus, of all films they need to make, do we really need one about the Obamas’ first date? Are they fresh out of scripts from people? Do they need to go tap on Issa Rae or Justin Simien of Dear White People and ask what they’re working on and fund that? I just don’t see how and why they’re picking THIS film. I find the Obamas hella interesting but if a film on them is gonna be all limited to a date and how they first got together as opposed to their journey to the greatness of today, then NAWL.
I love the love of the Obamas and how they seem like true partners so I am not here for a movie portraying it unless it’s going to be done AMAZINGLY. I need it to be flaw-deficient and I highly doubt that this one will do that. They can’t even get a name that doesn’t sound like a skit starring Kenan Thompson. “SOUTHSIDE WITH YOU. WAZZUP WITH YOU?”
Southside with you. Chile… womp.
I don’t think they’re gonna do Barack Hussein Obama and Michelle LaVaughn Robinson the justice they deserve and I’d rather they saddown than release some badly-written, terribly acted mess. I just want them to promise us it won’t be awful. I’ll still see it, though. Because: nosy. Maybe it’ll be good and I’ll have to eat my words.