You know that dude who you were rooting for way back when but he just cannot seem to get his ish together because he is hellbent on being a perpetual delinquent? That is Chris Brown. Homeboy STAYS in trouble and can’t seem to get right.
Chris is supposed to be going on tour with Trey Songz but he had to postpone it because he still has 100 hours of community service left in his court-ordered 1,000. Well when he took to Instagram to break it to his fans, one of them went CLEAN OFF on him and it is the funniest most truthiest read I have seen in at least a week. I laughed so hard that I could only shake silently because sound refused to come out my mouth.
Issa Rae shared it on her Facebook and I keep reading it and falling out at random intervals.
How can I pick a favorite part when the entire thing is EVERYTHING I need? Dominique ain’t tell a lie in any of this and I’m not even mad that it’s in all CAPS. She tried to TOLD Chris something about himself and his bad decisions. Y’all know he is the Chairman of Team Bad Decisions Incorporated.
BUT, the point where tears started pouring from my eyes had to come after I read this:
“YOU ALWAYS FUCKIN SHIT UP! NOW I GOTTA WAIT FOR YOUR CRIMINAL ASS TO DO YOUR COMMUNITY SRVICE & HOPE & PRAY YOU DON’T DO NO MORE DUMB SHIT THAT WILL FUCK MY CHANCE OF SEEING TREY! YOU’VE BEEN DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE SINCE 2009!!”
*cries* LMAOOOOO!”YOU ALWAYS FUCKIN SHIT UP.” It is true. He does have a pattern of ill-advised behavior that messes up the plans of others around him. But between “criminal ass” and the community service since 2009, I lost all ability to control myself.
But then, she gave him a very helpful suggestion with “ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS 10 HOURS FOR 10 DAYS HOW HARD IS THAT CHRISTOPHER??????!!!”
*DEAD* I’m so here for her laying out this schedule for him. She is NOT playing bald-headed games and used his FULL first name. “HOW HARD IS THAT CHRISTOPHER????!!!!” took me out, man.
Christopher is probably what his mama calls him when she goes to pick him up from the police station anytime he gets into another club fight. That is the name she calls him when she is disappointed.
All Dominique wanted was to see Trey but Chris messing up the entire agenda because he don’t know how to act. He has tapdanced on her LAST NERVE and she just had to go in. This was a righteous READ.
*reads it again* *falls out one more time*