Kanye West’s Adidas Clothing Line is Perfect for the Zombie Apocalypse
Kanye West debuted his collection for Adidas at New York Fashion Week (NYFW) and the who’s who of the fashion and music world were present. In front of Jay-Z, Beyonce, Anna Wintour, Puffy, Rihanna and more, Kanye showed the world that he is ready to outfit us all for when the zombie apocalypse finally happens.
We are SET because as we try to save ourselves, we can don slouchy and shredded sweats, lycra tights, shirts made of mesh and other futuristic accoutrements. These are the clothes for the downtrodden and dejected.
And if you don’t understand his genius, you took the red pill and will forever live in a world where you might look kempt, clean and therefore, uncool. Because who wouldn’t want to dress like they will be volunteering themselves as Tribute at any moment? YOU JUST DON’T GET IT, MERE MORTALS. This is art. By art, I mean Kanye West threw a tantrum in the clothing factory, ripping up everything in sight. And when he was done, this collection is what came out. See more here.
Kanye is so misunderstood, everyone. It is our fault. He is Neo and we are just all haters. And where is Mugatu from Zoolander to applaud this slowly? Because why wouldn’t you want to spend hundreds of dollars on clothing that Huck wore when he sat in the train station before Olivia saved him from himself?
This is so much fashion and not enough at the same damb time. I’m leaning on the “not enough fashion” though. I never knew that clothes had the ability to make me see the future so vividly. Bless it.
The winner of the fashion show was North West, heir to the throne of the Kim Kardashian and Kanye West something. Sitting in the front row, she got VIP access to the clothes, and the 1-year old did what everyone was probably feeling like doing on the inside: she wailed. According to folks who were there, Nori started crying and could not be comforted until she was taken backstage.
I just wanna pause to talk about how all the faces in this picture capture everything perfectly.
Diddy: Why did I even come to this?
Jay-Z: What the hell is any of this?
Bey: Kim gotta get her life.
North: I hate everything so much.
Anna: Bow down to me, everyone.
But yes, North West acted like a baby at a fashion show. Maybe next time, Kim shouldn’t take a baby to sit front row at a fashion show.
Toddlers gon toddle, and maybe all Nori wants for Christmas is to rock a fuzzy pink onesie and have a playdate with someone her age. *I* would have hard time sitting thru a Kanye fashion show full of post-apocalyptic fashions. So a 1 year old is within her right to weep. Have her backstage playing with teddy bears and when Kanye is done appalling people with his lack of taste, trot her out for a photo op.
Beyonce’s face is like “why would you even…?” Girl, I know. Poor Nori. They always have her in all black and fur and leather. That’s not even comfortable for adults! But whatevs. Lemme stop before people accuse me of saying KimYe are bad parents. LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT I AM NOT SAYING THAT. I just think they make her an accessory.
Anyway, Kanye gon Ye. And by Ye, I mean call himself a fashion genius because he decided that homeless chic was his look henceforth. And people will applaud him and I will side-eye everyone.