The Testimony of Diego Munoz: Scandal Episode 415 Recap
Olivia’s friends love coming to her when they need help but ain’t nobody gon drag her to therapy like they need to? Oh ok, den. Let’s talk about last night’s Scandal, doe.
Almost Doesn’t Count – Susan Ross let President Ghost and Mellie talk her into accepting their nomination of her as Vice President but the task at hand is now to turn her into a serious candidate for it. Who’s charged with it? Abby Whelan. My main issue is that they’re gonna need to get her better suits because they got her in some drab tweed and that won’t work for me. Anywho, for the announcement, Fitz invites press on the White House lawn and he introduces Susan. She steps up on the podium and rocks it out at first, until she gets to the part where she’s supposed to tell a relatable story about her daughter. She completely forgets her line and instead of thinking quick on her feet, she starts to ramble and then does the more laughable giggle ever. She ALMOST had it, dawg. But almost doesn’t count. Cyrus, Fitz, Mellie and Abby are appalled.
Black Lady – Olivia is at home sitting on the floor taking an entire bottle of white wine to the head. The poor child is drinking hard to cope with all the trauma she’s been through. I wish her friends would make her go get some therapy. She hears conversation outside of her door and looks through the peep hole. It’s some official who is there trying to put an eviction notice on the door across the hall. The woman who asked “Where’s the Black Lady?” is there trying to stop the man from doing it. Her name is Rose (but I’ma call her Miss Mary. Because: 227) and she was Sister Alma Mae Jenkins’ (real name: Lois) friend. Rose tells them man to step off and Liv butts in saying legally, he has to give 5 days before he changes her locks.
Miss Mary thanks Liv from the other side of the door and the traumatized Gladiator opens her 4 locks and lets her in. The old lady tells her that Lois really liked her, and told her “If you’re ever in trouble, go to the Black lady across the hall…” Aawwwwww! Come on, ride-or-die. Lemme go ask my bestie if she’s about this life for me. Rose knows something is wrong because it’s been 3 weeks since she’s heard from her friend, and they usually talk every morning. “I know Lois like I know me and I haven’t heard a word from her.” Everyone needs a friend like Miss Mary!
Deadly Clues – Olivia rolls into OPA and tells Huck and Quinn they need to find the body of Lois, her next door neighbor who her kidnappers killed and placed her body over hers in a body bag. She dropped that fact all casual like it wasn’t life-altering fuckedupness. She wants them to find the old lady so she can give her friend Rose an answer that would make sense. The 2 Gladiators are kinda taken aback, but at least their Boss Lady bothered to show up. I just wonder how the Gladiators pay their bills now. They ain’t had a client in who knows how long?
David has a visitor (Kim Munoz), who wants to tell him about some top secret government spy agency that her husband told her he was a part of. She drops files on his desks and says it’s called B613. UH OH. Her husband’s name is Diego Munoz. OOOOOO SNAP! That’s Huck’s real name. Does that make her Dora? Ok I’ma saddown.
Ringtone Ross – The only Rosses whose sound I need a ringtone of are Diana and Rick but lo and behold, Susan Ross’ GOOFASS laugh heard around the world was now on iTunes and being replayed all over TV. The administration got a problem on their hands because now people take her even less serious than they already did. Since Liv isn’t working at the moment, Abby and Cyrus resort to bringing in Leo Bergen to helping them transform Susan’s proverbial croc status to a glass slipper. At first, he says NAWL but then they promise him a lot of money and he takes on the job.
First thing he does is he makes her go on Jimmy Kimmel and laugh cutely, not the cackling she did on the podium. Then she does a 30 minute interview with a tough journalist, but they want her to speak as if she’s a member of the Tea Party. So she basically has to be a racist, homophobic jackass.
Leo: “You need to believe what the core believes. You need to be one with the core conservative base. OK let’s start with gay marriage?”
Susan: “That’s easy. Who doesn’t love a gay wedding?”
Leo: “YOU, Susan. YOU.”
HA! They spend a lot of time getting Susan ready, teaching her to pronounce political figure names correctly, and basically trying to make her square peg-ness fit in the circle hole. She’s pretty much Eliza Doolittle. Pygmalion game proper. Abby doesn’t like Leo’s hard-ass approach, though, and she tells him to chill out.
Diego Munoz – David goes to the OPA office, where Jake seems to have made his second home this days and in front of him and Huck, he tells them how some woman came in saying that her husband was a part of B613. Rosen is SPOOKED, freaking out because the files the lady handed him are the ones HE had, color-coded and everything. Huck stands there looking like a kid whose hands were caught in the cookie jar. Jake is perplexed and says he must find out who this Diego Munoz is and kill him. Finally, he says “He’s me. I’m Diego Munoz. Was.”
Awwww shit. He tells them he’ll handle it. Oh really? Will you? Quinn walks in and Jake and David leave. She tells Huck that she won’t even ask what that was about because he’ll tell her when he wants to. Oh and she located the ambulance that Lois’ body might be in.
Politics Play – Leo is drilling Susan too hard and making her all frazzled and he is not accepting any answers she gives. He starts yelling at her and finally the lady snaps and quits. “This isn’t about good governance or the will of the people or solving problems that need to be solved. This is just theater. This is play acting.” She nailed all of politics in those 3 sentences. Susan ain’t here for it and tells Abby that the President needs to find someone else. WELP.
Swiper No Snitching – Huck and Quinn find the ambulance but there’s no body bag in it and no Lois. Quinn asks if he wants to grab dinner and his nervous ass tells her no twice, looking mighty guilty.
Huck goes to see his wife, Kim, and tells her that B613 isn’t what she wants to play with. But she ain’t hearing it, talmbout how the U.S. Attorney General is on THEIR side and will keep him safe if she testifies about B613. Dora’s fixing to get them both killed with this naivete, because you do not get immunity from the goons of B613. So Huck goes back to David and Jake and tells them that she’s hellbent on pursuing it. State Farm tells him he should testify and just say PTSD made him create stories about something called B613.
Operation Fired – Abby and Leo are winding down in bed with their nightly routines (her moisturizing and him putting in his retainer) when she gets up mad as hell. She’s pissed about how he’s handling Susan and he says he’s just doing his job because she needs to toughen up. “Maybe she’s not the right person for the job.” “Or maybe you’re not. You’re fired.” Abby’s boo put on his pants and leaves.
Maki Dada – Liv is sitting in her office, getting all these terrible flashbacks of her ordeal when Miss Mary barges in with files. She remembers that Alma Mae got a hip replacement the year before. Could they find her by tracking the serial number of her titanium part? Rose is serious and tells Olivia “I know she isn’t just lost. I know she’s gone. I can feel it. But I still need to know what happened.” The lady tells Liv that she and Lois weren’t just friends. They’ve known each other since they were 16 and Lois’ parents realized that the two of them were definitely more than friends so they moved her out of state. “It was hard enough being Black. Let alone Black and gay.” Yo. Lois was Miss Mary’s bae for real! “I waited over 40 years for my Lois… believe me. I can wait a bit longer.”
AW DAMMUT! They didn’t have the Celie and Nettie love. They had the Celie and Shug love. Her love is patient and her love is kind. Aaawwwwwww.
SOS for Susan – Olivia sits in her office at OPA and Abby shows up to say that she needs her help because if Susan doesn’t show up for the Senate Confirmation hearing, the lady’s political career is over. Liv says she is not working for the White House but her friend tells her that Susan is actually good for VP because she is white hat good. Red tells Liv that she knows she’s been carrying a gun around her apartment and that she’s been through some thangs so she could use some goodness. This convinces Liv, who brings Ross in and drops a good word on her. “You wanna bow out? Bow out. But do it because you truly believe you’re not the right person for this job. Not because you’re afraid of failing at it… Sometimes, fear keeps us safe. Sometimes, it holds us back.” PREACH, ma’am!
Eliza Doolittle shows up for the Confirmation hearing and she nails it! She shines in a cranberry blazer and everyone fist pumps. BUT the Senate still might not confirm her. Why? Because they’re mad as hell at President Ghost for his West Angola war shenanigans. What he has to do is go to them and make peace but when Abby and Cyrus tell him, he is not having it. Olivia, who they forced to be present, has been quiet but she finally tells him that he does owe them an apology because he flip flopped on West Angola more than Old Navy $5 joints. “You made a mockery of Democracy!” Liv, please pass this note to the current U.S. Congress too. Especially those treasonous 47. But I’m sleep.
Fitz walks up to Liv talmbout she knows why he did what he did. She’ont curr. He better go to the Hill and get his Keith Sweat on. She storms off, rocking an all black suit (with a grey bag). She’s been in all black since being kidnapped and I’m hoping the grey bag means some white is seeping back in the midst of all the darkness. Just then, she gets a call from Quinn. They found Lois by that serial number and her body was dumped in a state park.
The Testimony – Huck is having dinner with his wife and son and it’s adorable to see the family moment. Javier gets a text and says he’s going to his friend’s house. When they’re alone, his wife tells him he needs to testify again, and then invites him over again to come eat Javi’s spaghetti. Huck smiles genuinely for the first time, in maybe ever.
At OPA, Huck tells Quinn to tell Charlie to destroy those B613 files that he has. Finally, she’s out of patience and demands to know what is happening. “I haven’t asked questions even though you’ve been extra weird and super Huck-y.”
LMAO I really enjoy her. He says Kim is trying to get him to testify about B613 and she flips out because she knows it will all fall on Liv. Huck says he’s choosing Liv (which implies that he will lie in the testimony).
At the Justice Department, in a room with just David, a stenographer and Kim, Huck is suited up and the testimony begins. At first, he rebuffs all of David’s questions by saying he doesn’t remember assignments for B613 or the location for where the headquarters was. Huck is getting flashbacks on when him and Kim were a real family. Rosen is clearly anxious to get this interview over and as he’s about to be done with it, Huck starts describing the Hole. “It was too dark to see. It was black. It was always black in the hole. I know it was small. 4 feet 9 inches on the east and west wall. 6 feet 3 and a half inches on the north and south.” He has a 752 moment describing his routine in the Hole because that is how you’re able to survive it.
LAWD!!! B613 testimony being on official record is some “you gotta die” shit. Do I need to create Kim and Huck’s funeral program now? I just told the Usher Board to take the week off. Saints and Aints, what songs are we gon sing at the homegoing celebration of Diego and Dora?
Victory – Susan is confirmed as Vice President and Mellie is loving it. She is sworn in as her daughter looks on in the Oval Office. Abby gets home and finds Leo waiting for her there. They make up as “Oooo child, things are gonna get easier” plays. Huck walks Kim home and she gives him a kiss in front of her red door. He walks off with a heart smile on his face.
Lonely Rose – Olivia goes to see Miss Mary and tells her they found Lois’ body on a waterfront bench in Georgetown and that she died of an aneurysm. “It’s like she just fell asleep on a warm beautiful day with the sun on her face listening to the sound of the river.” As she describes this, she remembers her Julia Sugarbaker moment in the sun on the beach.
A devastated Rose laments about her love being gone too soon. And the pain of a million heartbroken people was written all over her face. “You left way too soon, Lois. Why did you have to go and do that? Now I’m alone. I’m all alone, Lo. Things ain’t never gonna be the same without you. Things just never gonna be the same.” The old lady sobs for her lost love and I’m all verklempt on her behalf.
Olivia goes home and throws out the wine-stained couch cushion while rocking a black sweater with white trim. There’s a bowl of popcorn and a glass of red wine in front of her, and I think this all means she’s starting to heal. Especially the appearance of that white in her clothes. This is a good sign. Our girl is slowly coming back.
David shows a shocked Jake the transcript of Huck’s damning testimony and says he won’t shut this down because those files were given to him to bring down “the bad guys.” UH OH.
I just gotta say that the Rose/Lois storyline gave my heart the warm and fuzzies. One thing I love that ShondaLand does is normalize non-hetero relationships. The fact that Rose and Lois weren’t just besties but lovers is extraordinary in the casual way it was approached. Even as Rose referenced the backstory of being Black and gay being difficult. I LOVE IT. Plus the deep love she showed for her partner. Man, the feels. Shoutout to Marla Gibbs the OG. Great to see her and she slayed.
So Huck’s decision to testify about B613. He went against what he knew made most sense for survival, for logic and for safety and spilled the beans on what it was like being in the Hole. All because HE wanted the sun in his face. The idea of uniting with his family and having that old thing back is what made him sing like a bird. The bad part is that his decision might be what ensures that he never has his family together because someone will probably have to die for this and it probably won’t be Huck. I fear for his son. LAWD, SAVE JAVIER! Saints and Aints, let’s start preparing just in case. We gon need to top Harrison’s homegoing celebration.
Mellie was giddy to see Susan Ross confirmed as VP. She better not underestimate little Susan because she might prove to be a worthy adversary for her when she tries to run for President. Don’t get TOO happy, Mellie Mel. Something tells me Susan might be about that life because people are constantly making her out to be a clown. MMHMMM.
But yes, Gladiators ROAR in the comments!
P.S. Someone said the serial number on Lois’ hip was 227. I HOLLERED.