Whose Model is this with the Extreme Baby Hair?

I never thought I could find baby hair so extreme and righteous that it’d trump Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas’ decades-long affair with forehead coiffure calligraphy. Who knew that someone could come through and swiftly out-babyhair the Royal Queen of Baby Hair? And it was done by a melanin-deficient brethren who ripped the runaway of some fashion week. Please behold this magical hairstyle:

Baby hair righteous

GET INTO IT, FOLKS! This, ladies and gents, is the definition of columbussing commitment to gel and toothbrush life. You know backstage, every station for the models had multiple toothbrushes and jars of Ampro just waiting to be used. I wonder when they had the style meeting for whatever show this was, if the instruction was “make the hair fall like waves gingerly around his edges, so haters everywhere can be weak.”

Let’s not even talk about the rest of the style. They got him Celie plaits and fake braids that do nothing to match the color of the rest of his hair. See? They didn’t do this right. Who’s the designer because not only is the hairstyle questionable but WHAT ARE THESE CORDUROY COLLARS TRYNA DO?

iCan’t even. I guess. Anywho, the folks on the Awesomely Luvvie Facebook fan page had some snark.

“Baby hair? That hair done finished grad school.” – MF

“That’s enough baby hair to make two more braids. At least.” – GD

“Wtf! His baby hair’s longer than a lot of people’s hair.” – RVD

“Madame CJ Walker didn’t sit in her kitchen mixing up random stuff for this.” – EJG

“Rozanda aka Chili should sue for copyright infringement” – EA

“He used an electric toothbrush to achieve that baby hair slay…” – MG

“What in the Let’s Jam hell is this?!?! You know he can’t use precon gel. It’s gon’ get fuzzy and stand up in 5…4…3…2….” – KB

“Jesus take the toothbrush…” – QD

“I want to dropkick the person who braided his hair and I curse all fine toothed combs because of this travesty that they helped create.” – CCP

“And that 1.99 bag of # 33 Kankelon braid hair, LOL…” – MC

“Who let Heidi off the mountain looking like that?” – JH

“Looks like he belongs to the VonTrapp family from the a Sound of Music. He looks so uncomfortable.” – SP

Hair game on point

“My eyes are chapped because I haven’t been able to blink since I’ve seen this.” – PB

“Looks like Rapunzel with a reverse comb over.” – CM

“That’s vanilla ice baby brother licorice stick.” – VN

“Apparently someone doing hair backstage is a fan of FKA Twigs.” – AL

“I’m not sure what happened to this person, but I’m uncomfortable and think he should consider litigation.” – MLM

“Mercy, that’s bad. And why does he look like Hilary Swank?” – AP

“I take it that this isn’t Ashton Kutcher being silly…” – EN

Edges looking like stage curtains featuring his face as the opening act. Its just not done… – LS

LMAOOOO! I hate that I love them so much. So yes, whose model is this? How pissed was he afterwards? How many tubs of gel were used to get this forehead calligraphy? Also: why?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Serenity March 17, 2015, 1:54 pm

    And white folks gonna swear they invented this style….

    • Milaxx March 17, 2015, 10:22 pm

      I saw on FB the other day some white lady trying to patent wrapping hair with yarn. I wanted to reach through the computer and slap her back in time.

  • Renners March 17, 2015, 2:14 pm

    i died at the kanekelon!

  • notconvincedgranny March 17, 2015, 2:48 pm

    Hair is riding the waves without getting in the water.

  • Risée March 17, 2015, 3:42 pm

    Luvvie, that mess appeared on DKNY’s runways for their Spring 2015 collection. Lemme quote “The look at the DKNY S/S ’15 show in New York saw the brand revisiting its 90′s roots, with a take on the diverse New York urban youth culture of that time.”


    er… yeah, “diverse urban youth culture…” nary a negro was seen on that runway but EVERY jar of Ampro Pro style gel available in Brooklyn was used.

    I am so unable.

    • Renee December 19, 2015, 7:11 pm

      I am so with you on that

  • emti March 17, 2015, 4:39 pm

    “nary a negro was seen on that runway but EVERY jar of Ampro Pro style gel available in Brooklyn was used.” just go ahead and bury me now

  • Yadi March 17, 2015, 5:43 pm

    “forehead coiffure caligraphy”….really tho?

    ma’am, u lack all couths and I am here for it!

  • Jeneen Butler March 17, 2015, 6:30 pm

    Y’all got me dying laughing…….I’m crying I’m laughing so hard Lmborofllc

  • Rachel March 17, 2015, 7:29 pm

    “Edges looking like stage curtains featuring his face as the opening act. Its just not done…“ – LS

    Time of death: Tuesday, March 17, 2015, 8:30 PM.

    I am SLAIN.

    • TotalTennisGeek March 18, 2015, 7:17 am

      We are both dead because of that brilliance. I have no more lives to live.

  • Tyson's mom March 17, 2015, 8:07 pm

    I’m offended that you have made a mockery of my dog breed (shiba inu) in conjunction with this high fashion foolery! LOL

    • notconvincedgranny March 17, 2015, 9:14 pm

      Shiba is doing The Donald better than The Donald does. Trump only wishes his rug could be on fleek like ‘dis.

  • Diva March 17, 2015, 10:38 pm

    Clearly they have been chasing Rozanda’s waterfalls

    • thoroughly slayed by humor March 17, 2015, 10:56 pm

      I just dropped the damn phone laughing at you comment. clearly DKNY didn’t stick to the rivers and the lakes that they’re used to. Just moving too damned fast out here..

  • Risée March 18, 2015, 10:13 am


    I can’t.

    Somebody please come for these people because this just makes me want to give some Naomi side eye and do a “Luvvie wall slide”

  • Chandler Holiday December 15, 2015, 10:36 am

    His face, tho. He looks mad as hell, like you looked when your mama made you go to church when she knew your pants were too tight and too damn short. He looks like he wants to kick Kanye in the mouth, cuz you know that’s probably his bewildered and struggled clothing line. Then Kanye gave Kim a five gallon jar of that blue Bergamot hair grease, a rattail comb and a hair brush and set her loose. He’s so proud.

    • Stacy January 29, 2016, 11:26 am

      My Dad still uses blue Bergamot hair grease. Every time I want to attempt to make fun of him I remember he’s 64 years old and his hairline isn’t even thinking about receding. If he don’t have a head full of the most luscious salt and pepper hair I’ve ever seen. Meanwhile, my edges are disappearing.

      • CHarnett W January 31, 2016, 5:39 pm

        My Dad too the blue and the green lol

  • Chandler Holiday December 15, 2015, 10:42 am

    Those two french braids look like two horror movie creatures crawling over his head. He has that look on his face you make right after you feel that baby hair start to move and eat your face. Run, fool, run!

  • Kate December 15, 2015, 2:07 pm

    These comments tho.I.Can’t. Breathe.My vocal cords are loathe to make a sound, lest I wake the heavens with raucous laughter with a sprinkling of snorts.#sodone

  • CJ January 31, 2016, 5:05 pm

    Somebody need to make a book of these comments, this ish is comedy!!!

  • Lex February 6, 2016, 1:26 am

    His baby hair look like a curtain into his thoughts…

  • Lex February 6, 2016, 1:44 am

    When you leave your prostyle gel in your carry-on and TSA tries to make you throw is out