10 Funniest Lines from President Obama’s 2015 Nerd Prom Set
The White House Correspondents Dinner (aka Nerd Prom) was last night, and as always, President Barack Obama came to roast. He’s fresh out of terms and fresh out of dambs to give too, so he came for everyone who sent for him in his 20 minute set. He even ended it with Luther the Anger Translator (Keegan-Michael Key) to help him finish the set.
Below is the video, and there were so many zingers. I picked my top 10 favorite lines.
* Because Joe Biden is touchy: “I feel more loose and relaxed than ever. Those Joe Biden shoulder massages. They’re like magic. You should try one… or you have.”
* Because he’s fuck-deficient: “My advisors asked me, ‘Mr. President, do you have a bucket list?’ I say, well I have something that rhymes with bucket list. Take executive action on immigration? Bucket! New climate regulations? Bucket!”
* Because his salt is more than his pepper: “It’s no wonder that people keep pointing out how the Presidency has aged me. I look so old John Boehner’s already invited Netanyahu to speak at my funeral.”
* Because mid-term elections were brutal: “Today, thanks to ObamaCare, you no longer have to worry about losing your insurance when you lose your job. You’re welcome, Senate Democrats.”
* Because people ARE dumb: “Six years into my presidency, some people still say I’m arrogant and aloof, condescending. Some people are so dumb.”
* Exhibit A of dumb: “Michele Bachmann predicted I would bring about the Biblical end of days. Now that’s a legacy. That’s big. Lincoln, Washington — they didn’t do that.”
* Because DAMBIT, Indiana: “I tease Joe sometimes but he has been at my side for 7 years. I love that man… We’ve gotten so close, in some places in Indiana, they won’t serve us pizza anymore.”
* Because Rick should worry about himself: “Rick Santorum announced that he would not be attending the same sex weddings of a friend or a loved one. To which gays and lesbians across the country responded: ‘That’s not going to be a problem.'”
* Because WELP: “The Koch brothers think they need to spend a billion dollars to get folks to like one of these people… I know I raised a lot of money too but in all fairness, my middle name is Hussein. What’s their excuse.”
* Because HA: “Apparently people really want to see a pot-smoking socialist in the White House. We could get a third Obama term after all.”
I AM HERE FOR LAME DUCK OBAMA!!! Let em have it!