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The Gift: Game of Thrones Season 5, Episode 7 Recap

Game_of_thrones

After last week’s episode of Game of Thrones, I just wanted some type of hope to peek through. We need something good because all that despair is exhausting. Let’s talk about it!

Winterfell

In Winterfell, Theon Reek brings food into Sansa’s chamber, and finds her curled in a ball crying in bed. He wants to back out and leave when she jumps up and begs him to help her. She is bruised all over and she says Ramsay rapes her every night. She wants him to light the candle on the broken tower, so her Northern help can come. Theon is shaking in his boots and tells her to call him Reek. She reminds him “Your name is Theon Greyjoy. Last surviving son of Balon Greyjoy.”

Theon 1 Theon 2

TELL HIM WHO HE BE!

Theon takes the candle from her and goes outside, where the tower is in the distance. Brienne of Tarth is also at a safe distance, watching the tower for light. SHE is the one who gave that message. Up some stairs Theon goes and he opens the door. Ramsay is sitting there. Wayment.

Later on, Sansa meets Ramsay outside and as they walk, she peeps a small T-shaped wooden (I think) thing and she grabs it to put it under her cloak. YES for weapon smuggling, Stark! Use that on him soon. As they chat, she reminds her “husband” that his father’s wife is pregnant with a boy. And since he’s a bastard, the legit child has a stronger claim to the throne.

Bastard 1 Bastard 2

I see she’s getting some edge to her. He points out that bastards can do great things too, like her brother Jon Snow who is now the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch. Clearly, our girl did not know much about her brother’s whereabouts and that tidbit because she looks surprised.

The two walk to the center of the courtyard and Ramsay delightfully points out the skinned body hanging from the rope is of the Northern woman who reminded Sansa that she remembers. The woman has been snuffed out because Reek’s ball-less and scared shitless ass snitched to Ramsay. Sansa is in tears, stunned because the message is clear: you are alone.

Also, WTF REEK??? Seriously. He is so petrified of Ramsay that any thought that he might help Sansa is now out the window. I get that he was tortured but shit. Wouldn’t death be more pleasant than the prison called life he’s living? Why did he have to sell our girl out like this? That poor old woman. Dambit. *fights the air*

Castle Black

Jon and Turmond the Wildling are leaving Castle Black to go make the peace treaty with the rest of the free people. As they’re about to go, Lord Commander Snow goes and tells Ser Alliser that he’s in charge now. The old ornery dude takes the opportunity to tell him how stupid he thinks their mission is and Jon basically tells him to worry about himself.

Castle 1 Castle 2

Basically, how many dambs does Jon not give about homeboy’s opinions? Many. Several. A plethora.

Before he sets off, Jon has a bromance moment with Sam. Tarly gives him dragonglass, because that is what he used to kill the whitewalker. Let’s cross our fingers that our boy won’t need it. They hug and an audience track in my head went “aawwww” like it was the end of a Full House episode.

Maester Aemon Targaryen is on his deathbed and Sam and Gilly are keeping him company with the baby. The old man drops his final piece of advice when he says “Get him South, Gillyflower. Before it’s too late.” Later that night, they’re by his bedside as he speaks his last words and takes his last breath. Later on, the old man’s body lays on a wooden bed, ready to be lit as Sam gives him a rousing eulogy in front of all the Night’s Watch men. 12 Lord Commanders came and went under Maester Aemon’s advice so he was a true OG.

Maester Aemon

*pours out dragon blood for the homie*

No sooner did Ser Alliser lean over to Sam to say “you’re losing all your friends.” SHARRAP, BRO. Ugh. I can’t stand his cantankerous ass.

That night, Gilly is passing by 2 Night’s Watch men and they block her way. They clearly want to take advantage of her and she’s getting scared when Sam shows up. He tells them to leave her alone, but you know Tarly scares no one. They try to feel up on Gilly so he finally charges. One of the men whoops Sam’s ass so proper that he’s laying on the ground and face is bleeding. He might have killed some white walkers but he still can’t fight worth a damb. The men are actively trying to rape Gilly so he gets up to charge them again (aka get a 2nd ass whooping) when Ghost, Jon’s direwolf shows up. It is then that the men run away, knowing that animal will rip them to shreds.

Ghost the Direwolf

Shoutout to the bad CGI version of Ghost, doe. Also, it was good to see him. I forgot he was still around. In fact, I thought all the direwolves were gone. Great reminder. Also, Jon probably left him behind because he knew his friend had no allies left so he’d need protection. Either way, he surely saved the day.

Gilly takes Sam to the room to lie down, all bloodied up and everything. It’s clear that it is not safe for either of them on the Wall, because all they have is each other and people are gunning for them. As he lies down, she sits on him and they do it! VOWS BE DAMBED.

Get it in, Samwell! This is the only semi-decent sex scene that has ever happened on Game of thrones. Sam and Gilly are adorable. This is why I fear for them. They’re too good to and for each other. They probably won’t live.

Dorne

Jamie is in Dorne and he asks to see Myrcella. She’s kinda shocked by his new look, with less hair and less hand. He tells her that she isn’t safe in Dorne and she should come back home, but she says she’s staying like Effie White, because Dorne is home now. She was sent there years ago so this is what she knows. She storms out, leaving Uncle Daddy looking lost.

In the cells, Bronn is across the way from the Sand Snakes. He’s regaling them with a song about how Dornish women cannot be outdone.

Sand Snake 1 Sand Snake 2

One of them goes near the bars, and takes off her robe enough to where her tits are taunting him. Bronn, of course, eats it up in his cell, until he all of a sudden starts feeling really faint. Remember that one of the Sand Snakes cut him a little in their janky battle from last episode. Well, turns out that the blade was laced with poison, and it takes a while to activate. Methinks the sudden blood rush to Bronn’s peen caused it to kick in right there.

There is an antidote though, and it’s around Sand Snake 1’s neck. Maybe she’s charmed by Bronn, or maybe she’s setting it up so he owes one of them saving but she tosses it to him and he takes it.

On The Run Tour

*this is what I call the trips of who is in limbo and don’t have a real place*

Meanwhile, Stannis has also left Castle Black with is people to march to the North but it is not going well at all. The storm that’s happening has made it so cold that 40 of his horses died overnight. ANDDD the sellwords he hired bounced. All 500 of them. Ser Davos suggests that they go back to the Wall to sit out the winter but he is NOT having it. “This is the right time and I will risk everything because if I don’t we’ve lost… we go forward. Only forward.” Also, if they go back, he’ll be known as the punk ass running ass king so this is also about ego.

Davos leaves and Stannis turns to Melisandre like WTF? He decided to march on her word but they seem to be losing by the minute. She assures him that her visions don’t lie (see: dead ass Robb and Joffrey). However, those two died because of the royal blood sacrifice. The Red Woman says now is the time to use Shireen’s royal blood and Stannis kicks her out his tent.

Meli Stannis 1 Meli Stannis 2

On the original On the Run tour, Tyrion and Jorah are now prisoners of Slaver Adebisi and they are on the auction block. Well, Jorah is. He is pumped up as a supreme fighter (true) who killed Kahl Drogo in a fight (false). One of the people there bids 20 pieces of gold and wins Mormont. Tyrion pipes up and says they have to go together because they’re a team. He says he is also a prize fighter, and proceeds to beat up one of the slavers. The dude who got Jorah laughs so he throws in a couple of gold coins for Tyrion. The Little Lannister does not know when to STFU but it’s kept him alive.

The man is taking them to the pits of Meereen to fight.

Meereen

Dany and Daario are making the secks and strategizing about Meereen, because they’re multitasking goons. Mid-stroke, he tells her he wants her to marry him, not one of the random Lords of Meereen. Sir, pull out before you propose so she know it’s real. Must be some good GOOD. Men always catching feelings and complicating matters. Sheesh. This was just a Friend with Benefits situationship, but noooo. He had to throw some extra in there. She rebuffs him, doe.

After they do what they do, they have pillow talk he tells her she needs to just slaughter all the heads of houses and important masters of Meereen to show her authority.

pillow talk

“I’m a queen, not a butcher.” “All rulers are either butchers or meat.”

Since Daenerys opened the fighting pits, it is tradition that she has to sit through the matches. She is not excited to be there but she has to deal. So when the Pit Slave Buyer dude gets his men to Meereen, he tells them it’s time to fight for their lives so they can eventually get in front of the Queen for the main fight.

Jorah and Tyrion are one step closer to Dany. Shockingly, Dany is the in the lower fights and the Pit Runner dude sees her and tells the men that they have been graced with the Grace’s presence. 6 men go out first, and Jorah and Tyrion are sitting in the “locker room” until Jorah hears the men praising the queen. AW SNAP! She’s out there. MMHMMM.

The fighting begins and these men are slicing throats, whooping ass and Dany is wincing through all of it. She does not want to see it. Jorah decides this is his chance to be seen by his girl so he runs out with his helmet on, beats everyone without killing anyone and Dany is impressed by the fighter. He then takes his helmet off, and her face turns cold. She orders that they get him out her sight when he screams “WAIT.” He has a gift for her. Out walks Tyrion!

He walks to the front of the Queen and says “It’s a pleasure to meet you, my grace. My name is Tyrion Lannister.”

Tyrion Dany 1 Tyrion Dany 2

Dany looks like she is just sick and tired of surprises but this one piques her interest.

King’s Landing

Lady Olenna Tyrell goes into the Sept looking for the High Septon, not knowing that the person scrubbing the floors is him. He says High Sparrow is his name but admits that Queen of Thorns is way better. The two spar like only 2 old people with few dambs to give can and I enjoy it tremendously. Cuz you know ain’t no shade like old folk shade.

The Lady wants to know what he wants so he can release her grandkids but he says that they lied before the gods so they must be punished. “You live among murderers, thieves and racists yet you imprison Loras for shagging some perfumed ponce.”

olenna 1 olenna 2

Real tea. True story.

The Head Scientologist doesn’t want anything and he is not impressed by her wealth. He even reminds her that the wealthy are actually the minority and they are outnumbered by the lowly poor. If those poor ever rise up, they really have no defense. Good point. “A lifetime of wealth and power has left you blind in one eye.” OOP. When Olenna leaves, someone hands her a note with a black seal.

The note is from Littlefinger, who has summoned Lady Tyrell to his now destroyed brothel. She goes and warns him that if he brought her there to kill her, by the time she’s avenged, people will forget he even exists. ALSO, he shouldn’t forget that they killed King Joffrey together to their fates are tied. He agrees. He brought her there because he has something on Cersei, in the form of a boy.

In the King’s palace, Tommen is pissed that his Queen is locked up and he can’t do nothing about it. He tells Cersei that he wants to go speak to the High Sparrow, even raising his voice at his mother.

Tommen

His attempt at being bold was cute. Just adorable. Cersei the Master Bullshitter says she will speak to the High Sparrow herself and try her best to get Margaery free (at last). Tommen hasn’t been equipped with a bullshit detector so he eats it up as his mother assures him that she will do anything to make him happy.

What does she do? She goes to visit Margaery Tyrell in her dirty and dank prison, like the heffalump she is. She even brings her some venison like that ain’t her leftovers and like she ain’t poison it. She maintains her “It wasn’t me” story but the Queen ain’t buying it. She throws the cup of wine she brought back at her and tells her to GTFO her cell, never to return. “Get out, you hateful bitch.” Says everyone to Cersei.

The Dowager Queen struts out with that smirk on her face and meets the High Sparrow outside the door that leads to the cells. He assures her that the Tyrells will be facing trial, and him and 6 other Septons will preside over it. He promises that they will be stripped of their “fineries” and then he turns to Cersei. He says he wonders what they’ll find if they strip HER finery away. Well, he already knows of something.

One of his beloved followers has confessed all his sins, so his spirit can dance in Heaven.

Head Sparrow

In walks Cousin Lancel and Cersei knows where this is going: he has snitched about how they used to sleep together. She tries to leave but Sparrows block her way. The Head Scientologist tells them to take her, and she is dragged away, literally kicking and screaming and her death threat to the scientologists fall on ears to deaf that her voice probably boomeranged back into her own mouth.

They close the cell door behind them, and Cersei is on the ground screaming still talmbout how she’s the Queen. Gwirl bye!

Cersei locked up


It just got ULTRA real in King’s Landing.

Cersei is cruel and somewhat clever but she isn’t as calculating as she thinks she is. Everyone saw her comeuppance from a mile away because you do not create an army of religious fanatics and expect them to use you as an exception to the rule.

Arming the Scientologists of Westeros Sparrows with power has been a terrible idea from jump street. Cersei did not think this through at all as she’s allowed them to do all her dirty work. It is sweet sweet justice to see her thrown in jail and it is a long time coming.

You know he loves that girl but I’ve seen this coming. From the time Melisandre said “The God of Light” doesn’t care about Shireen’s greyscale to that sweet moment where Stannis proudly assured her that he loved her and she was his daughter. It was too nice. I just KNOWED it wasn’t going to mean well for the sweet girl.

Although Stannis kicked Melisandre out at the suggestion, you know good and damb well that he’s going to end up doing it. Sacrificing his daughter to conquer Winterfell.

Now, Sam and Gilly doing it. Sex like this doesn’t happen often on Game of Thrones. It seemed consensual, and it was between two people who mutually care about each other. AND it was a transaction where money was exchanged. Sam lost his virginity to Gilly, and it seemed they made love and stuff. Meanwhile, last episode, Sansa got hers taken from her by Ramsay.

Speaking of, POOR SANSA, man. This girl cannot EVER catch a break. I thought last week, with Reek watching her be defiled, that it would light a fire in him to help her avenge the deaths of her family members and of her innocence. I thought it’d tie them together immediately with a common enemy. Instead, his ass is sans balls in every single way. To turn around and betray her by snitching made me wanna scratch his face. I know he did it to protect himself but seriously. Something has to give.

Anyway, on to Tyron and Dany meeting. FINALLY! Since Barristan Selmy is gone, she needs a savvy adviser and here comes the gift. I just wonder how open she’ll be to receiving this. She’s notoriously stubborn and good for making bad decisions. How will she handle this? IDK

So this week’s gratuitous Jon Snow gif:

He can cut straight to my heart. Well, not literally. You get me.

He can cut straight to my heart. Well, not literally. You get me.

Yes. Yum.

Anywho, discuss! Those of you who’ve read the Game of Thrones books. SHUT YOUR TRAPS ABOUT SPOILERS TO COME IF YOU’RE COMMENTING ON MY BLOG! Don’t make me fight you and block you from ever commenting here again. That is all. JUST DISCUSS THE SHOW UP TO THIS POINT!

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35 Comments

  1. Melissa
    May 25, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    “Sir, pull out before you propose so she know it’s real.”

    I cannot with you. I haven’t even read the rest of the recap because I’m laughing like a drunk Lannister.

  2. Mona
    May 25, 2015 at 5:52 pm

    Hey Luvvie – far be it from me to #WellActually you in your own recap but Sam and Gilly weren’t the first decent sex scene. There was that time that Jon Snow made love to me, I mean Ygritte, in the cave. These Castle Black homeboys know how to do it right.

    Once you go Black, and all that…

    • MonMon
      May 25, 2015 at 6:38 pm

      That cave scene was ooooooo la la 🙂

    • justme
      May 26, 2015 at 11:13 am

      Jon and his vicious head game (according to Ygritte at least). He really needs a new lady friend. I volunteer xD

  3. Kid
    May 25, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    Cersei lost control of the religious fanatics. Smart person would’ve had an ace up her sleeve. I would’ve thought that once she’d gotten her way that she would’ve gotten rid of all of them.

    • Kelly
      May 26, 2015 at 8:57 am

      Exaaaaccctly. I thought she’d at least be the first one to confess this way Lancel wouldn’t be able to hold anything on her. See, this is what happens when Tyrion leaves. Cersei always thought she was more cunning than Tyrion but he made her up her game. Without him there, she’s exposed for the weak player she really is. Vindictive without a plan.

      Also, I think we’ve got two direwolves left. There’s Jon Snow (yummmm), I mean Jon Snow’s wolf, and the one with Bran aka he who we’ll never see again.

      • justme
        May 26, 2015 at 11:11 am

        Don’t forget the youngest Stark kid, Rickon. He has Shaggydog.

        • whilome
          May 27, 2015 at 7:14 am

          Arya’s out there somewhere running wild, too, right?

        • justme
          May 28, 2015 at 4:23 pm

          Yes, Arya’s is still alive somewhere

  4. Pookiendem
    May 25, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    Mona for the win!

  5. MonMon
    May 25, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    I absolutely love Jorah so I’m really hoping Dany takes him back. I truly think he means well by her at this point and he and Tyrion would be amazing advisors. Daario is sexy as all get up but she can’t listen to him.

    Shireen is toast. Stannis wants to WIN, period.

    I can’t wait to see what happens at Hardhome with Jon Snow. In the episode 8 preview, Hardhome looks great! Hopefully that dragon glass won’t be needed but just maybe we’ll see some white walkers.

    • Christina Joy
      May 26, 2015 at 6:41 am

      Unfortunately Jorah has greyscale now so as much as I like him…..they are going to have to kill him before he completely loses his mind.

  6. Char
    May 25, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    Theon was selling out the Stark family before becoming Ramsey’s Pet

    • justme
      May 26, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Exactly. Reek is pathetic but Theon had a grudge against the Starks so I knew that, either way, Sansa was screwed.

  7. May 25, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    Girl, you had me dying talmbout lady olenna and the scientologists- bwahahahahaw! But for real, I had those same thoughts– I really enjoyed seeing the two olds go for it.

  8. May 25, 2015 at 11:23 pm

    I just want the Starks to come up..or hell just become more freakin aware!! No way I would have let a pimp talk me into staying on the grounds let alone marrying that psychopath. But that pimp game is strong..however a 10ft tall woman wearing armor and bearing tidings from your dead mother can’t be trusted. Sigh..but still I rise..every Sunday and hope for some glimmer of hope for the Starks. Perhaps if they had a few dragons life would be easier.

  9. bawlmergirl
    May 25, 2015 at 11:30 pm

    Boy, you youngins gonna be REALLY rough when you hit 60 and I’m so sorry I won’t be around to read it! Maybe I can get buried with a chip imbedded so I can get feeds in the great hereafter…

    “ain’t no shade like old folk shade” – you know it, sistah.

    And where the heck did “heffalump” come from? Some L’il Luvvie read a lot of Winnie the Pooh, huh?

    As Tina would croon, “You’re simply the best…”

  10. May 26, 2015 at 1:29 am

    I LIVES for the Queen of Thorns. I keep telling folks she a shit talker and shade thrower from way back and I love it!

    And I was straight shouting for joy when Ghost showed up and was all yall bitches gonna back up off the homies! Yes Ma’am, I was here for it all day long.

    As for Sammy and his vows, while I’m getting real technical here, they actually never say they can’t have sex. Just that they can father no sons. So has he or Jon REALLY broken their vows? Or any of the others that would run off to mole town for a night to shag one of the hoes?

    Theon has wholly snuffed out ANY INKLING of sympathy I was beginning to feel for him. I want someone to stab him and Ramsay repeatedly in the balls, and then give them a nice slow and painful death. Drag it out for a while. Both are beyond despicable.

    Melisandre got BALLS to suggest to Stannis to burn Shireen. I just cannot with that! Child ain’t done nothing to nobody!

    And I just knew it was a matter of time before Cersei got her simple ass caught in the same trap she set for the Tyrells. Good for her. Somebody needs to take her down a notch or two. And she is worried about the wrong damn Queen!

    • Rompom
      May 26, 2015 at 9:59 am

      Maybe bawlmergirl remembers too, but the Queen of Thorns has been baddass since way back:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve9N9oaXU18

      • bawlmergirl
        May 26, 2015 at 4:57 pm

        GGGOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!! Does YouTube not have errythang since the beginning of time?

        • Rompom
          May 27, 2015 at 9:34 am

          She’s like a cross between Catwoman and Mary Tyler Moore.

        • bawlmergirl
          May 27, 2015 at 10:18 am

          Riggs’ daughter is a terrific actress – Rachael Stirling. Season 2 The Bletchley Circle – PBS. Also, mother / daughter together in S7 Ep11 Doctor Who / “Crimson Horror” (I know, way left of center). Forgive me – I digress from GoT…

  11. LLJ
    May 26, 2015 at 6:16 am

    Another excellent and entertaining recap! Some observations on the show:

    — The stuff with Sansa is awful. Brienne and Pod need to stop waiting for that light in the tower and ride to the rescue. Stannis is still delayed and Theron is useless.
    — I was afraid that there was going to be yet another rape scene. Thank goodness that Sam tried to “fight” for Gilly as best he could and thank goodness for Ghost!
    –Why is Gilly’s baby still an infant when she gave birth a few seasons ago, around the same time Myrcella went to Dorne? (Myrcella told “Uncle Daddy” Jaime that she’s not going back to King’s Landing since Dorne has been her home for the past few years.)
    –I wonder what Lancel told the High Sparrow? Any number of things could get Cersei locked up: conspiracy against almost everyone, not being as smart as she thinks she is, sleeping with her cousin Lancel, sleeping with her brother Jaime and giving birth to their children (who are the both the products of incest and technically bastards–poor Tommen), and telling Lancel back in Season 1 to make sure King Robert got drunk so that he would be impaired during the boar hunt that eventually killed him.
    –The Queen of Thorns, Tyrion, and Jon are among my favorite characters. I also like Bronn, Arya and Brienne. And where’s The Hound?

    • Kaamilya
      May 26, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      Didn’t he die last season?

  12. Commonly Speaking
    May 26, 2015 at 8:45 am

    Lemme tell you somthin, I was so ready for the kick back from the slickback, coming for Cersei’s ENTIRE LIFE! Did she not think that old bozo the clown looking azz, crack pot wasn’t about to uncover HER secrets as well?! My how the mighty have fallen. I just hope Tommen finally gets some balls and sends his army to slaughter all those religious fanatics before the High Sparrow finds proof that he’s the spawn of incest and he ends up in a cell with his wife AND his mama!

    Sam and Gilly need to pack up they bags and bounce NOW! Ain’t no love at the wall their kind. They better strap that baby to they backs and gets to steppin! A direwolf can only save the day but so many times before they cage him and stab him like they did Rob Stark’s direwolf. That old Targaryen don’t speak no lies chile!

    I was also TTG (trained to go) for the meeting of Daenarys and Tyrion! Yall know that Tyrion is my boo! He is the smartest person on the show, well besides Littlefinger, Varys and Olenna Tyrell. Them four would make the baddest King’ s council EVAH! Tyrion is about to rock King’ s Landing with the return of the last surviving Targaryen! Plus my girl gots dragons bruh, DRAGONS! Who’s stepping to that? Caint wait for her to get THEE ENTIRE hell outta Mereen and get that azz to Kings landing and kick Cersei and her nephew/son out!!

    Also Sansa better get a candle to that damn tower before she goes cray! Ramsay has to be in my top three most hated characters on the show and he may be number one!! This fool has gots to die!! And it had better be a long, drawn out excruciatingly painful one too! Excuse my bloodlust, it’s only reserved for the most heinous of bastards. And is it me or is Theon Greyjoy one of the most punk azz bishes on the show. I mean what else do you have to lose Theon?! Your home town don’t want you, your balls is gone, shoot, even ya pappy don’t give two dambs about you and the people who took you in and loved you like a brother, you betrayed wicha bishazz! Do right, help a Stark for once in yo raggedy life and die with just an ounce of dignity, fool!

    I love you Luvvie your blog gives me all kinds of life!! Can’t wait till next week!!

    • legitimate_soul
      May 26, 2015 at 2:50 pm

      Agreed on Theon being a “Bish Everlasting”. When Theon was with the Starks in better days, he was an arse. He was continuously a jerk to Jon Snow, stayed trying to stake claim to the red headed working girl Joffrey killed, was a Diva Dude extroadinaire, tried to be a bad arse by burning two kids (not the Stark boys we know), one a cripple, was never half the man his sister was, and he could have BEEN FREE. Theon’s sister was about that life and upon receiving her brothers package via delivery went to get him. Theon Reek refused to go and was wack from the gate. Any sympathy for him was gained from the hands of Ramsay, but all opportunities for Theon Reek to be honorable have been declined. That poor Northern old lady had more heart than him.

  13. Kelly
    May 26, 2015 at 9:00 am

    The only way the Starks are going to make it through this is for the remaining Starks to no longer be Starks. Jon Snow was never officially a Stark and he’s staying alive. Ayra is ready to become someone else and that’s how she’ll stay alive. Remember she’s not ready to be No One but she’s ready to be someone else. As for Sansa? it’s not looking good for her.

    • Rompom
      May 26, 2015 at 10:52 am

      I hate to say it, but I’m sure that Ramsay planted that corkscrew or key or whatever Sansa picked up on the battlement for her to find.

      Also, was there any random new character who showed up in this episode, who might be Arya in disguise? Just sheer speculation, though.

      • RevengeIsSweet
        May 27, 2015 at 8:00 am

        Rompon, you’re making me go back to watch again to see if I can spot Arya anywhere…but I don’t think she’s shown up yet as “someone else…”

        Now Luvvie, I didn’t read the books, so this ain’t a spoiler, just speculation…my guess is Arya shows up in Braavos when Lord Tyrell and Myren Trant arrive to ask the Iron Bankers for “different terms.” I predict they’ll send him packin ’cause they’re backin Stannis…and on their way home, they meet a sweet little blond girl who resembles the girl Arya poisoned…and she takes Trant down…just sayin’

        • Rompom
          May 27, 2015 at 9:38 am

          >> but I don’t think she’s shown up yet as “someone else…” <<

          Do you think Mr. Eko ("Malko") could be Arya in disguise?

  14. Ms. E Cheree
    May 26, 2015 at 9:43 am

    I knew eventually Cersai was gon get hers for all the aintshitness she committed. Felt it in my spirit. I’m so glad it came swift, like a thief in the night. Hallelu.

    I’m surprised she didn’t see that coming though. Especially after knowing cousin-bae became a Sparrow. She should have known he was gon sing to the high heavens. And that he did.

    I wonder if brother-bae/baby daddy will come up in her trails ad well. I think I remember the towns people whispering about that when the Sparrows came and wrecked shop.

    When you get away with effed up shit for so long, you forget the effed up shit you’ve done. And it is at that point, that Karma comes and says: You gon pay what you owe!!

  15. Smith berry
    May 27, 2015 at 8:30 pm

    Did you catch what the old man Targaryen said about Gilly’s boy. Looks like he maybe a member of the Targaryen family.

  16. Beth
    May 28, 2015 at 3:28 pm

    How have I never read this blog before! You are hilarious!

  17. Blackberry Molasses
    May 29, 2015 at 9:33 am

    i’m really not liking what they’re doing with Dorne in the show. we haven’t really seen much of Prince Doran or Areo Hotah and why Dorne is so instrumental in the story. its like… we’re just there for Jaime to try and get Myrcella and to see Oberyn’s daughers– who, the show has made so LAME. in the books they’re way more badass. this comes off as obnoxious whiny book reader, i know… but i was so looking forward to the Sand Snakes and in their 3rd appearance this season, they’re already in jail…. and that scene between Tyene and Bronn was so contrived for titty views. in the books Tyene is the “innocent looking but fucking DEADLY” one. here, she’s just eye candy.

    okay, i’m done whining.

  18. Jason
    May 29, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    As much as I enjoyed this whole episode, I gotta score Cersei’s scheming game down here. She’s used to having dirt done, she don’t mind coming after family… why would she not kill Lancel? What part of a man with a BRAND on his head says, “No Cersei, I will not be a problem for you later on.”? -10 for leaving loose ends loose ma’am. I hope she ends up in the same cell as Marge… someone wouldn’t leave that cell because they died from having rotten venison meat jammed in their behind lol