Whose Dentist is This? What’s Up With His Newborn Hair?

I was loitering on Facebook the other day when I came upon this picture and I did a silent laugh for about 15 seconds.

Dentist with bad hair

Someone musta taken this pic of an ad on public transportation, and it’s of a dude’s dentist practice. THIS HAIR, DOE. This hair. He looks so brand new. Like NEW human. Like a child just born and this is his first picture. You know, before they get that brush applied to their scalp.

Somebody gotta get bruh a du-rag so his babyhairs can lay down. He needs a Black friend to put him on game. Just tie it down before bed and 12 hours later, not only will your hair lay down, but those 360 degree waves in his hair will make people seasick. See? This is why everyone needs a Black friend.

I posted it on my Awesomely Luvvie FB page and the jokes came aplenty.

“His hair looks like he just slid out of the womb!” – CA

“Afterbirth and amniotic fluid make a damn good hair gel apparently” – CT

“His head is so big, and his hair so small…” – TB

“He woke up like dis…. and we want him to go back to bed.” – LAR

“The Barber asked him how he wanted his have cut and he told him “I’d like it to be a bit of nofuxgiven in the front, and a little bit of Iclearlyhavenodamnsstospare on the sides”” – AC

“*waits on someone who knows him to comment that he suffers from huge face lil hair disease so I can feel like crap*” – SG

“Why would you put this on your advertisement. That man can get nowhere near my mouth. He doesn’t make good choices.” – KR

“When you’re a dentist by day and a damn fool by night!” – ZC

“Got that Sloth from The Goonies fade. On Fleek x10” – DCP

“Or a new born kitten that was just licked by its mama” – JGN
newborn kitten

“His hairline is very disobedient or perhaps he has mange” – TW

“He’s advertising Cosmetic Dentistry and his hair looks like someone chewed it out!” – KWJ

“He looks like a wet duck! He thinks he’s fly tho’.” – DMC

“What’s crazy is that he’s actually handsome up to his hairline. Sad!” – MM

“His head looks like a camel was sucking on it.” – MS

“and whats so bad is he would look good with a bald head but why he is holding on to that hair they transplanted from his legs and those gray edges i will never know #fixitjesus” – AC

“When you trip and fall with a fork into an electrical outlet.” – MW

“Found this in my news feed again this morning, and it sent me into yet another fit of giggles. Lol! Why does he look like all his tracks got snatched out during a fight? This is how a lot of people look underneath their sew-ins. Reminds me of bald headed girls using hair gel.” – LAR

“He has that Theresa Giudice hairline and hair that looks like a wiry Terrier coat.” – ME

“thats the reverse wet skunk” – OLB

“Its like his face kept growing but his hair didnt get the memo to keep up.” – CK

“Have you ever seen a baby vulture that’s molting? Now you have.” – AR

“Anyone else notice that hint of a part right in the front? Like maybe he asked a dyslexic waxer for a Brazilian!” – AW

lmao literally


Whose dentist is this, though? Might you suggest some good weavologists to him if he insists on maintaining coiffure? We have technology to handle these issues now, ya know.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Milaxx October 19, 2015, 7:53 pm

    Poor tink, tink, if he would just slick it back and stop trying to make them baby hairs stand up he would be alright.

  • Rayo October 19, 2015, 9:14 pm

    You know the way a baby duck looks? That’s how he looks on top.

  • Mia October 19, 2015, 10:10 pm

    I done told him to stop using that Flowbee with the vacuum set on high carpet….bare floors setting sir…bare floors

    • roberta October 22, 2015, 10:12 am

      go get me a switch!

  • JaVonna October 19, 2015, 11:14 pm

    I laughed so hard I am bawling. BAWLING!!! This post gave me a serious ab workout.

  • glamazini October 20, 2015, 12:09 am


  • Mysti October 20, 2015, 12:24 am

    I HATE this site! Do you know how awful it us to laugh THIS hard with a headache?!

  • ho October 20, 2015, 9:07 am

    I appreciate the honesty of “laughed silently for about 15 seconds” — which is usually what people mean when they overuse “LOL”

    See, the real “LOL” doesn’t come until the comments.
    All y’all are on timeout, by the way.

    • howlingbanshee October 20, 2015, 9:08 am

      Also, I will never trust Autofill again. That’s me up there. I thought Autofill had my back.

      • muyiwa October 20, 2015, 10:09 am

        Wow, autofill really got you. That is unfortunate.

      • Mysti October 20, 2015, 11:27 am

        Oooh, autofill is awfully shady!

  • jcanwisegrrl October 20, 2015, 10:42 am

    I too silent laughed, but for a whole minute. With tears. Oh mylanta! He ain’t got no mirrors? No wife, kids, friends, mousy receptionist with a tendre for him? He needs new people.

  • jcanwisegrrl October 20, 2015, 10:44 am

    I just looked at the pic again and scream-laughed, scaring my dog, cat and two birds. My word! Thanks for today’s laugh, Luvvie. *wipes tears*

  • Erica October 20, 2015, 11:29 am

    You gone send me straight to hell in a handbasket partaking in all this tomfoolery!!!

  • Jennifer October 20, 2015, 2:25 pm

    i shoulda known betta then to read this at work. I just let out a guffaw and my co-workers are all giving me the side eye. This made my entire day.

  • notconvincedgranny October 20, 2015, 2:33 pm

    Prosecutor: Did you, or did you not, douse your head with Elmer’s School Glue and rub your head through the vacuum cleaner bag at the SPCA?

    Doc: No sir, I did not. It was an Elmer’s Glue Stick.

  • Tonia October 20, 2015, 5:54 pm

    These comments had me in tears!!!!!

  • mzmiamiheat October 23, 2015, 8:27 am

    I guess he said his specialty is teeth, hair not so much

  • Deanna November 6, 2015, 3:25 pm

    I to know more about this man, so I googled weird hair dentist where I found a Reddit thread about this picture and a link to his profile picture.


  • Abby November 12, 2015, 6:50 pm

    Just gonna leave this here. wait for it….


    • trock7 December 15, 2015, 1:08 pm

      you are my hero…

    • Teresa December 16, 2015, 10:49 am

      Seriously!!! He’s ‘married’! He’s wearing a wedding ring. My only thought is that she must not love him… His hair is much worse in the video than in the picture…

  • Rich Ian December 15, 2015, 10:13 am

    Still better than whatever black prayer candle melted on top of Jermaine Jackson’s head.

    • Tosha L Porter January 25, 2016, 6:10 pm

      I have passed away from ur comment

  • Chandler Holiday December 15, 2015, 12:21 pm

    They must have been fresh out of the Robinson Crusoe hats at TeeBob’s, so he had to skin a nutria rat. I don’t think it’s working for him.

  • Sandra December 15, 2015, 11:06 pm

    So I’m up laughing silently so as to not wake my 2 year old but I keep snorting!!! O. My. Lanta. That man has the skin of an Opossum as a toupee. I simply cannot look at the pic anymore!