Bailout Bae Has Spent $21 Million of her Lottery Winnings on Bond

A woman named Marie Holmes, won $88 million (after taxes) in the Powerball in February 2015.

Marie Holmes

Her boyfriend, Lamar McDow (nicknamed Hot Sauce), has been arrested multiple times since then, for crimes ranging from drug trafficking. Marie has put up $21 million bailing out her boyfriend, Hot Sauce, in the last year.

No parts of that last sentence that I typed makes any type of sense and it makes me wanna just put my face on my desk. In one year, this woman has willingly put up TWENTY ONE MILLION DOLLARS, which is a quarter of her cash, to ensure the freedom of a man who goes by the name of a condiment in his chill time. Yes, she might get some of it back once his court appearances are done, but LAWD!

Fix it, Jesus. Bind it, Buddha. Append it, Allah.

WHY?!? Why?? What comes to mind immediately is that for that woman to bail her boyfriend out 4 times using her lottery winnings means his peen game must take her to Nirvana every single time. His penis must be her patronus and she must not be able to conjure up happy thoughts without it. GOTTA BE. Because she is spending the gross domestic product of a small island to keep this man out of bars. And he doesn’t seem to be helping himself. Ain’t no deeque that good that you gon spend millions you just won springing him from jail. She better get on Tinder and find a replacement. Hell.

I might bail you out ONE TIME but I’m not making a monthly trip to the bondsman because your dumbass can’t stay outta trouble. Four times, y’all. She has bailed this man out of jail FOUR TIMES.

what the fuck cat gif

Once? ok cool. That’s bae.
Two times? Fine. Mistakes happen.
Three times? GIRL BYE.
Four times?? SAT ALL THE WAY DOWN.

How do you even go on that FIRST DATE with a grown man named Hot Sauce? I can’t even spend TIME on him, let alone $21 million. I am not that committed to anybody but my mama’s freedom to use my lottery winnings to bail them out multiple times. “Ride or Die” gon have that woman flushing all her coins down the toilet for ol’ Delinquent Dan who can’t get his shit together. Ride or die? Nah, B. I’m not riding any where. In fact, I’ll take an UBER. BYE.

Also, if you’re riding and dying for someone, shouldn’t it be someone who has the sense to live right?

This is Hot Sauce now, flaunting the new money

This is Hot Sauce now, flaunting the new money. Click the pic to read the Daily Mail piece.

Chris Brown was all “these girls ain’t loyal.” DAMB RIGHT. I am not loyal to knuckleheads with no act right. Which kind loyalty?!? Abeg. If your girlfriend is sitting on $88 million, why is your STUPID ASS still engaging in criminal activity? Surely, it ain’t because you need money. He must be tryna get himself some power but Marie keeps playing Captain Save-a-Hoe.

Which brings me to another point. This is her BOYFRIEND, not even husband, or anyone she has any legal ties too. Sure, he is also the father of her last child but y’all don’t even own a joint crockpot together. Why is she so pressed? For all that money she’s using to bail him out, she could go to Japan and fund research and get a robot replica of him created. And that robot would have way more sense than he seems to have.

Y’all gotta talk to your cousins cuz this is foolishment of the utmost level. Who are her people? Where is her mama? Marie is doing the reverse running man on life. Where are her mentors? Love ain’t just blind: it’s straight stupid sometimes.

You won $88 million and ain’t bought yourself a clue and common sense yet. Talk about money mismanagement. When homegirl goes to file her taxes, does she tell the IRS she wants to write off $21 million spent on bailing delinquent bae outta jail? IRS gon be like “new number. who dis?” I want sisthrens to win but this girl has spent the budget of a major company on BOND.

Cats giving epic side-eye

Her GOOFASS is PayPaling the bondsman every week when she could be using that money to build generational wealth for those four kids she has, or letting that money make its own money. Apparently, 44% of people who win the lottery go broke within 4-7 years. This girl has already spent a quarter of her earnings in one year and it was on bailing her man out. Bless this mess.

Man, the lottery ain’t there to see people prosper. Yesterday when the numbers for the $949 million Powerball were announced, no one won. I felt like it was a metaphor for life, where everyone keeps trying but nobody wins and the stakes keep getting raised.

I went on to rant on Twitter about it, and my tweets are on Storify, if you want to read them. See: About the Powerball, Too Much Money and the Lottery in General.

But yeah. #LettucePray for Sister Marie, hoping she doesn’t flush all of her newly-acquired wealth down the toilet, playing Batman to a grown ass epitome of the city of Gotham.

P.S. ALSO, it’s clear that they’re unfairly giving this man DUMB HIGH bail for the crimes he’s committing. The state of North Carolina is tryna get ALL its coins back from Marie and she is handing them over like a sucker.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Mary Burrell January 10, 2016, 4:01 pm

    The whole thing is just sad. Sister has no love for herself. She needs Suzy Orman in her life and a good attorney. I have no funny shade to throw. She is just a sad sister but it’s her life and her money.

  • Milaxx January 10, 2016, 4:11 pm

    I’m done with her. I’m praying for the kids. I pray she set up education funds so that they aren’t SOL once “Hot Sauce” finishes burning through her cash.

    • James October 23, 2016, 6:59 pm

      Her Dad is in prison. That explains everything. It’s one of those unconscious “trying to get the love of her father by saving another man from prison” type of deals. It’s still sick though. God help her.

  • BlackManicPixieDreamGirl January 10, 2016, 4:18 pm

    It’s not love, it’s manipulation, co-dependency, and lack of self-love. Not that I had a jailbird on my hands, but I’ve recently been there. I just hope she gets out with enough to build herself a solid foundation– financially and otherwise.

  • Jackie January 10, 2016, 4:28 pm

    They are giving him high bail because when he was arrested in November 2014 it was for the largest heroin seizure in the county’s history. (She didn’t win the lottery until February 2015.) For the latest and some background: http://www.brunswickbeacon.com/content/lottery-winners-boyfriend-released-after-posting-12m-bail
    (An aside: His street name is Sauce, not Hot Sauce.)

    • James October 23, 2016, 7:01 pm

      Whatever. lol

  • Krenee January 10, 2016, 4:47 pm

    Maybe it’s just me but I hope I NEVER meet a penis that has me spending 21 MILLION DOLLARS on bail. I don’t need that type of stress in my life. That’s “waiting in the bushes for you to come home” kind of penis; “calling your mama every two hours looking for you” kind of penis; “Stab a b*tch that looks at you” kind of penis….. Ain’t nobody got time for all that. I’ll pass, thanks.

    • GeminiSpeaks January 10, 2016, 8:17 pm

      That’s “waiting in the bushes for you to come home” kind of penis; “calling your mama every two hours looking for you” kind of penis; “Stab a b*tch that looks at you” kind of penis

    • dallasdrummerchick January 11, 2016, 1:42 am

      I said the EXACT same thing. I’ll be out there like my girl Anika on Empire, Ubering chicks home in a Party City wig. NAWL.

    • howlingbanshee January 12, 2016, 4:44 pm

      Preach. That’s some get on religious TV and accidentally tell all your business in the name of a friend, “D!ck will make you slap somebody!” foolishness.
      No kank oo.

  • Eve Tey January 10, 2016, 4:50 pm

    Yep, he must have the same kind of island peen that made Lauryn Hill go crazy!

    • Mikki January 27, 2016, 12:11 pm

      XD LOLOLOL!

  • Tameko P. January 10, 2016, 4:55 pm

    Sigh. See, here’s how the conversation would have went: “Nigga. I got millions. You ain’t got to do that shyt anymore. But if you end up back behind bars, I don’t know you.”

    Please let her have enough sense to put some of those millions away for her future…

  • KayMee January 10, 2016, 5:03 pm

    She couldn’t just put a little sumpin’ on his books and let him ride it out? Maybe if he stay in jail, maybe he’ll get some act right and appreciate his freedom more.

    • Clee January 10, 2016, 8:11 pm

      Jesus take the Wheel!

  • Cynthia G January 10, 2016, 8:01 pm

    I was already upset after reading this but I am a glutton for punishment because like a fool I read the Daily Mail article. It. Was. Painful.

    To: Hot Sauce/Sriracha/Paprika-I really don’t give a shit, Boy grow up. Stop blaming race when you repeatedly commit dumb ass crimes. You repay your girl’s loyalty by getting into more and more unnecessary trouble. Damn you are dumb. A great lawyer and some common sense is what you needed. If you were unable to leave the house after 7 pm and you have 11 employees on staff at your tow company why didn’t you send one of them? Oh yeah, racism and jealousy. Why was there such a strong odor of marijuana that prompted a police search that uncovered a weapon? Oh yeah, racism and jealousy. Why were you engaged in illegal and unsafe street racing whilst on parole? Oh yeah, racism and jealousy. Stop blaming others and grab a mirror dumb ass.

    Basically you have got to be one of the sorriest mfs to ever shit behind 2 shoes.

    Signed,
    The World

    • NaturallySonja January 12, 2016, 2:16 pm

      This!

    • dmcmillian72 January 12, 2016, 3:02 pm

      “Basically you have got to be one of the sorriest mfs to ever shit behind 2 shoes.”

      BWAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Thank you for this. I will giggle about it for the rest of the day. =)

  • Donna Foreverserenity January 10, 2016, 8:46 pm

    There are no words for this one. I’m trying to think if it’s just stupid loyalty that makes her do this? She hasn’t reached her limit yet with him, I hope when she does she’s not broke!

  • Maxine Shaw, attorney at LOL January 11, 2016, 1:43 am

    Fools, money, etc.

  • Jazz January 11, 2016, 5:40 am

    Hi Luvvie, I’ve read all of your things on here. I laugh, cry and SMH at them all. I just thought I’d put my two cents in this story because it hit me personally.

    I’m sad because I knew Marie. Yes. “Knew”.

    When I was in middle school, I’d visit my cousin down south. My cousin went to school with her so every time my older sisters and I went down for my summer vacation, I’d play with her and crazy one. I kept in touch, before and after her winnings. Can’t say if I remember meeting Thievin’ Pockets…erm, Hot Sauce, forgive me, don’t give 2 damns about his name. When she bailed the first time, we’re like, ok whatever. Her money. Second time was like ok, why? Third time, what the actual bombaclot fuck? Fourth time, AW HELL NOOOOOO. I can’t cosign with her Sallie Mae buffoonery. I’ve even told her, you’re just giving the money back to the state, like you never won the lottery. She’d just laugh and say “it’ll be aight J. Don’t worry.”

    I couldn’t stand by that so I walked away. SMH all the way until my head fell off. I continue to shake whatever is left of my head until there’s nothing left. My only hope is that her kids are ok, and they don’t follow their mother’s foolish and fuckery, example.

  • Woody January 11, 2016, 7:58 am

    Then he got the nerve to say the ppl didn’t want them in the neighborhood. Damn right they didn’t want u in their neighborhood. Hell u got s.w.a.t, f.b.I., and the A.T.F everywhere. I would say the same thing. Get these have nothing negros out of here. Quick, fast, and in a mothersucking hurry.

  • Yvonne January 11, 2016, 8:09 am

    I don’t think she could have went through that much crack if she had a habit without killing herself in that time frame stupidity at its purest form.

  • KW January 11, 2016, 8:45 am

    I had all kinds of “dumb broad” jokes in my head when I initially clicked on this article. Now, though, my feelings are hurt for this woman. This isn’t the regular “ride or die” thing people talk about. In my city the were two murder-suicides at Christmas within days of each other. This is what I see for her and it scares me. There’s clearly some kind of crazy sense of loyalty. The problem will come when she wakes up and realizes how crazy this is and decides to leave. You can bet he’s running around there talk CASH SH!+ about how he runs her and their relationship. When she takes away that “power” she’d better hire a security firm. Real talk.

    • howlingbanshee January 12, 2016, 4:47 pm

      Truth.
      Sad, sad truth.

  • LadyLarke January 11, 2016, 12:06 pm

    This isn’t a story based on racism as Hot Sauce claims in that Daily Mail article. Good job deterring the issue from your no-good ass. Standing there, actually STANDING THERE with your Rolex watch and diamond bracelet while you repeatedly commit dumb crimes b/c you know your girl is good for it. That means you don’t care about her, her kids, her mental situation, etc. And HELL YEAH those neighbors don’t want you around. One of the neighbors clearly says that there were MAD ppl driving to and fro the house 24/7. That’s drug shit. No good.

  • Delores January 11, 2016, 1:08 pm

    Why do y’all care what she does with HER money!!!! Stfu and mind your business!

    • notconvincedgranny January 11, 2016, 3:39 pm

      Marie, you can do what you want with your money. When you are publicly stupid, you get publicly punched. Silly rabbit. Truth be told, if you don’t like what’s happening on this spot, get next to that bitch ass door and let it pimp slap ya.

  • notconvincedgranny January 11, 2016, 3:36 pm

    That ain’t hot. It ain’t even sauce. Sauce has flavor. I have sugar hotter than that Hot Sauce. Tap water is hotter than that. Toilet water is laughing at that. Weakest Hot Sauce ever. How low can you go my sista?

  • Foxboogie84 January 11, 2016, 8:53 pm

    Who in the hell is doing the MAFF over there???????This is what happens when certain people watch Scarface too damn much. What algorithm did Hot Sauce use to feel like he was going to be able to trap enough heroin that would even come close to how much his baby mommy won in the lottery? Y’all don’t know how much I want this to be absolutely false but here we are😓. How on this side of creation does one receive such favor from the universe and make dumb ass mistakes…repeatedly. Sure it’s her money but BooBoo the Unfortunate Fool is willing giving all her money back. For $188 you couldn’t pay me to even subtweet Hot Sauce. But for real this sister literally LOST IN THE SAUCE and no amount of money is going to save her.

  • dreazo January 12, 2016, 12:54 am

    It doesn’t how much money a person has, you yourself have to take the initiative to to uplift yourself and uplift your standards, otherwise you’ll end up back right where you started. It’s quite obvious that the boyfriend is a die hard low life, and at this point I’m starting to think she herself may want to be a die hard low life herself!!! Twenty one million dollars in bond on a career criminal!!! she’s a f……g nut job!!!!

  • JDubya January 12, 2016, 11:02 am

    I feel bad for her. Goes to show that poverty is as much a state of mind as much as it is a state of being. Until she can break that poverty mindset, and begin to make changes that will allow her money to work for her, she will continue to head down that path that will result in her being one of the 44%. Hopefully she will seek out wise counsel on how to properly manage her money and let that bamma rot in jail next time he arrested.

  • Kareem January 12, 2016, 11:40 am

    Today I confirmed, without a shadow of a doubt, I CANNOT read your posts in public due to the unbelievable amount of stares & strange looks I received from laughing myself to tears reading this post. While your recap of the situation is HEE-LARRY-US, the story itself is not surprising because “love” makes folks do strange things…so there you have it!

  • Shantel January 12, 2016, 7:23 pm

    **Chris Brown was all “these girls ain’t loyal.” DAMB RIGHT**…..
    This girl will be watching your A** on the evening news saying “He looks familiar”

  • dimples January 17, 2016, 7:06 am

    “If your girlfriend is sitting on $88 million, why is your STUPID ASS still engaging in criminal activity? Surely, it ain’t because you need money.”
    ——————————————————————-P-R-E-C-I-S-E-L-Y.

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