Bailout Bae Has Spent $21 Million of her Lottery Winnings on Bond
A woman named Marie Holmes, won $88 million (after taxes) in the Powerball in February 2015.
Her boyfriend, Lamar McDow (nicknamed Hot Sauce), has been arrested multiple times since then, for crimes ranging from drug trafficking. Marie has put up $21 million bailing out her boyfriend, Hot Sauce, in the last year.
No parts of that last sentence that I typed makes any type of sense and it makes me wanna just put my face on my desk. In one year, this woman has willingly put up TWENTY ONE MILLION DOLLARS, which is a quarter of her cash, to ensure the freedom of a man who goes by the name of a condiment in his chill time. Yes, she might get some of it back once his court appearances are done, but LAWD!
WHY?!? Why?? What comes to mind immediately is that for that woman to bail her boyfriend out 4 times using her lottery winnings means his peen game must take her to Nirvana every single time. His penis must be her patronus and she must not be able to conjure up happy thoughts without it. GOTTA BE. Because she is spending the gross domestic product of a small island to keep this man out of bars. And he doesn’t seem to be helping himself. Ain’t no deeque that good that you gon spend millions you just won springing him from jail. She better get on Tinder and find a replacement. Hell.
I might bail you out ONE TIME but I’m not making a monthly trip to the bondsman because your dumbass can’t stay outta trouble. Four times, y’all. She has bailed this man out of jail FOUR TIMES.
Once? ok cool. That’s bae.
Two times? Fine. Mistakes happen.
Three times? GIRL BYE.
Four times?? SAT ALL THE WAY DOWN.
How do you even go on that FIRST DATE with a grown man named Hot Sauce? I can’t even spend TIME on him, let alone $21 million. I am not that committed to anybody but my mama’s freedom to use my lottery winnings to bail them out multiple times. “Ride or Die” gon have that woman flushing all her coins down the toilet for ol’ Delinquent Dan who can’t get his shit together. Ride or die? Nah, B. I’m not riding any where. In fact, I’ll take an UBER. BYE.
Also, if you’re riding and dying for someone, shouldn’t it be someone who has the sense to live right?
Chris Brown was all “these girls ain’t loyal.” DAMB RIGHT. I am not loyal to knuckleheads with no act right. Which kind loyalty?!? Abeg. If your girlfriend is sitting on $88 million, why is your STUPID ASS still engaging in criminal activity? Surely, it ain’t because you need money. He must be tryna get himself some power but Marie keeps playing Captain Save-a-Hoe.
Which brings me to another point. This is her BOYFRIEND, not even husband, or anyone she has any legal ties too. Sure, he is also the father of her last child but y’all don’t even own a joint crockpot together. Why is she so pressed? For all that money she’s using to bail him out, she could go to Japan and fund research and get a robot replica of him created. And that robot would have way more sense than he seems to have.
Y’all gotta talk to your cousins cuz this is foolishment of the utmost level. Who are her people? Where is her mama? Marie is doing the reverse running man on life. Where are her mentors? Love ain’t just blind: it’s straight stupid sometimes.
You won $88 million and ain’t bought yourself a clue and common sense yet. Talk about money mismanagement. When homegirl goes to file her taxes, does she tell the IRS she wants to write off $21 million spent on bailing delinquent bae outta jail? IRS gon be like “new number. who dis?” I want sisthrens to win but this girl has spent the budget of a major company on BOND.
Her GOOFASS is PayPaling the bondsman every week when she could be using that money to build generational wealth for those four kids she has, or letting that money make its own money. Apparently, 44% of people who win the lottery go broke within 4-7 years. This girl has already spent a quarter of her earnings in one year and it was on bailing her man out. Bless this mess.
Man, the lottery ain’t there to see people prosper. Yesterday when the numbers for the $949 million Powerball were announced, no one won. I felt like it was a metaphor for life, where everyone keeps trying but nobody wins and the stakes keep getting raised.
I went on to rant on Twitter about it, and my tweets are on Storify, if you want to read them. See: About the Powerball, Too Much Money and the Lottery in General.
But yeah. #LettucePray for Sister Marie, hoping she doesn’t flush all of her newly-acquired wealth down the toilet, playing Batman to a grown ass epitome of the city of Gotham.
P.S. ALSO, it’s clear that they’re unfairly giving this man DUMB HIGH bail for the crimes he’s committing. The state of North Carolina is tryna get ALL its coins back from Marie and she is handing them over like a sucker.