Michael Bae Jordan’s Whole Bloodline is FAHN! My Readers Thank God.

Michael B. Jordan has had my attention for awhile. First I knew him as Wallace from The Wire but Wallace don growed up and got FAHNER THAN FROG HAIR! Whew.

Then he got the nerve to have some fine ass company in his family and friends. Dude posted a picture of his male kinfolk and had women (and men) everywhere drooling because who told him he had the right to be part of a Handsome Troop? Michael Bae Jordan got company, y’all. Behold:

Michael B Jordan family

JAYSUS HAROLD CHRISTI!!! When your entire bloodline looks like they should star in a really bad made-for-TV movie whose only redeeming quality is the eye candy they threw in it. Whew. That’s not even fair.

I mean ALL’EM. When Jesus says yes, nobody can say NO. Look at His handiwork. You can’t tell me Joseph’s stepson AND his Daddy at the Top ain’t the best.

I think some of the dudes in the back row are Michael’s friends but we gon call them family too. Surely, they get invited to the reunion. Birds of a feather flocking together rightfully.

Antywho, I dropped this pic on the Awesomely Luvvie Facebook page and LuvvNation lost their minds. Behold some of their foolery below. There was a lot of thanking God that happened on that day.


*It’s really not fair for the WHOLE family to have all that fine-ness with all these uglass men runnin around..they can share some of the fine. – DD

*Even the lil boy got a gangsta lean! #Yaassssss #BlackMenForTheWin – TL

*Gold dust was sprinkled in that gene pool. They are a great looking family! – FM

*When he taken and you ask “You got a brother”! Heyyyy Glorrryyy! Shondo! Won’t He do it! – LS

*Seriously, Michael is not even the best looking one in this family! – AI

*What singles website are they on? Asking for a friend. – SRM

*That family reunion will be the land of milk and honey. – HAS

*I’ll take all of them in the back and the chocolate uncle in the front with the Santa beard. Ho…ho…ho…Merry Christmas. – AM

HeyBooHeySkunk

*Why is there something for e’ery body, tho? God said I have every generation covered. – ANW

*Even the little Amish one in the corner….I’d give up FB to tap that. – NWS

*If he’s Amish, I’m converting. Where is my bonnet and black dress? – CJ

*Can we please take a moment to honor the Lord’s work? Look at GAWD! – SB

*That one to the right of Bae. Heyyyy cuz. – JS

*It’s like cupcakes…they are all good – SM

*If being thirsty is wrong.. i dont wanna be right. Unless it’s to the right of MBJ. #whew – TN

*I wanna be in the family! – AB

*Damn crying shame! All that FAHNNESS in one fambly. But I thank you Father God for Your miracles and blessings! I mean young buck FAHNNESS, cat daddy FAHNNESS, bearded FAHNNESS, big boy FAHNNESS….ALLA da FAHNNESSES repped well! Hallelujah! – LS

*I would wear ALL DEM JORDAN’S…..especially a throwback pair. Ya dig? – SW

stares in thot

*I don’t like the word “THOT” because well what da hail does it mean?….but the tendency for hoeosity is high round these parts right now!!! Don’t make no dayum sense for all 10 of my toes to be curled up in an arthritic state! – KLS

*O.m.g. I’ve never had a pair of Jordans but dayum it…I’d wear these – TBG

*That back row though!  – NS

*Proof that GAWD is a woman. She be showing all the way off… sounding like DJ Khaled… “another one” “another one” & “another one” – JW

*I just need access to 1 cookout. Just 1. *Nas One Mic beat starts up as I prepare to spit this fire bout these mens – EL

*Those 1st addition Jordan’s sitting in the chair! Handsome! The re-released Jordan’s standing up makes me want to be a collector! – CJ

*The beard game on the two flanking him, though!!! Whoo Jesus!! *swoons* – RT

*I’ll take the one on the end with the hat for 500 Alex  – SB

*Father God…. Look at all this stress. Like soo fine it would stress me out. I’m not going to jail every weekend for fighting the hoe in the grocery store for double bagging his produce unnecessarily cuz she tryna be cute… Nah bae, I can’t. All of them stressful types. Even Otis Williams in the middle. Cat Daddy Fine-Ness. Jesus. Father. Jehovah God. Thank you but no thank you. – CDH

*What kinda world is it when MBJ isn’t the FINEST PERSON IN THIS PICTURE???? – TN

*I’m crashing a family reunion and Im likely leaving pregnant! – NR

gene pool expert

*You know you have crossed over to middle aged when you genuinely start scanning the front row ! – FS

*I’ll take the daddy, the uncle and keep the 3 cousins in the back for reserves. – CJC

*Caron called it like a spades hand “3 and a possible” LOL – VJO

*I can’t even be witty because well, my mind is otherwise occupied. And occupied. And occupied…. – SM

*the older men anchoring the couch though I aint mad at them, even if they rolled up on me wearing a newport short set with matching sneakers Id let them buy me a drank. yes lawd them men is fahn – AB

*Father God, we thank you for the good genes and pleasing eye candy… Amen! – SS

*That silver-goateed fox seated at far right needs my telephone number…. – QT

*What’s it mean when “Bae” is the “average” looking one? – AM

*Even the baby in front looks super-confident. And why shouldn’t he? He’s got his future lined up behind him, and he sees it is good. *bows head* – QT

*Listen, Oprah just called…she said “YOU CAN GET IT, YOU CAN GET IT, YOU CAN GET IT….EVERYBODY CAN GET IT!!!!” – KS

Body is Ready Kurt2 gif

*Let us pray. Jesus, I want to thank you for eye sight….only you could create such Chocolate flavored goodness and put them in the same family. We ask that you allow Luvvie to attend the next family reunion, take ussies, get close enough to smell them (someone in that pic must smell like heaven on earth) and report back. Amen. – JO

*You get Michael, you get Michael, can we all get a Michael? – SW

*Can we all just agree that by and large, Black men are beautiful!!??? – MB

*Favor ain’t fair… that’s why I’m stalking his next family gathering. Damn that! – MB

*There’s something for every damn generation in this picture! All this man candy, GAWD is good! – LS

*I’ll take cousin to the right of Michael for keeps … Even go on a date with OG in the front row with the good posture and silver fox beard! – TS

*From papa down to pookie…let the church say AMEN – SM

*When you know you are going to have beautiful children based on the bloodline of this entire family. – SB

*Fineness and sexy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of one of these here Jordans…foreva! – JS

*Trying to dive into the deep end of this gene pool. – MR

*I’m about to show this to my 15 year old. See girl, there are cute black boys your age!! Stop talking to me about One Direction. – MMM

*Bruva man in the Quaker Oats hat he can receive it all. And Ole daddy to the far right doing the silver fox look? Tell him I said “yes”. Whatever it is: “YES” – NSJ

Hell Yes gif

*I’m shamelessly showing up to their family reunion with my phone number printed on a low cut t-shirt cause an’ one of’em can call me. (except the little wee tot. But I would pinch the stew out of his cheeks) – FTH

*That’s enough chocolatey goodness in a single family to make light-skinned men go back out of style. – ZLT

*Dang!!!! The Lord is My Shepherd, I see what I want. Chunky one on the second row. Lawd Ham Mercy. – ND

*If The Creator truly made men in his own image, God must be fine! – DA

*I have to remember to drop a little extra in the collection plate this week to show my appreciation. Cause the good Lawd knows he outdid himself with this bloodline. Geesh! – SM

*It just ain’t fair for the regla bruhs. They done throwed off the scales… It’s good gene-opoly. – MM


LMAO! No damb behavior to be had at all. Team No Chill is in effect, as always.

Team No Chill Blue Tshirt

This shirt is available for purchase, BTW. Here.

Soooo which one do you pick in this FINE ASS MAN LOTTERY?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Jessica January 8, 2016, 12:42 pm

    Even lil homie in the front is a cutie!

  • KPneedssomeJordans January 8, 2016, 12:53 pm

    saw that picture and IMMEDIATELY cussed. Followed by a prayer of both apology & thanks.

  • Eriza January 8, 2016, 1:00 pm

    I’ll take the blessed brotha in the Quaker hat for $1000 Alex! #pleaseandthankyou

  • Cynthia G January 8, 2016, 1:00 pm

    I have no words. As filthy as my mouth is, I have been rendered speechless.

    My sweet little 85 year old grandma glanced at my screen and said “Mmm who are they? They look like they even smell good!” I didn’t see that coming. But I agree.

    Now she wants to learn how to use the computer. See what all that fine did.

    • Christi January 8, 2016, 1:53 pm

      I am DEAD at your grandma hopping online for this. Also? Well worth the wait! She hadn’t missed a thing as good as this!

    • Monniedee January 8, 2016, 3:52 pm

      Chile, men so fine make an old lady take up a new skill… go head granny.

  • Mia January 8, 2016, 1:34 pm

    Back row, third from left. Sugar!

  • Lollister January 8, 2016, 3:27 pm

    Ok, sitting on the couch, from left to right, I’ll take the THIRD one as my husband, to have and to hold, to hold and to hold, To HOLD!! You feelin’ me?!!

    BUT…that first one sitting on the couch (left to right), he look like that Uncle Ricky everybody talk about in the family because he been bringing a different chick to the family cookout e’ry month for the last 30 years. But he found The Lord four months ago and now he trying to live right, but he still is THE MASTER in the bedroom!! So naturally, me and Uncle Ricky, well, we can…uhmmm, pray together and stuff. And stuff. Maybe buy one of them makin’ the sectx rugs that Luvvie talked about last year. :o)

  • Denise January 8, 2016, 6:22 pm

    See. Hmmph. And lusting ain’t right. I mean ain’t nan one of them got an inch of ugly on them. Did I say lusting ain’t right. LAWD they all stalking material

  • Shannyn January 8, 2016, 7:27 pm

    My eyesight has improved, looking at all this collective finery is better than lasiks. These men need a new play cousin and her name is Shannyn. Lil bro in the front has early pre adolescent swag cuz he knows damn well he has nothing to worry about. Teen life and adulthood will be brilliant cuz his whole family looks like new money, models, and actors in commercials for high end urban products.

  • KtzMiao January 8, 2016, 9:36 pm

    This just ain’t right,,, I’m in tears trying to pick just one,,,

  • KRenee January 9, 2016, 7:12 am

    Father forgive me. My mind has wandered and as a married woman, I’m pretty sure looking at this photo has caused me to sin…multiple times…with multiple gentlemen on that back row…. Lawd have mercy!

  • SIPort January 9, 2016, 12:56 pm

    They are indeed a handsome tribe.

    Your facebook fans…are hilarious

  • nichole January 9, 2016, 5:01 pm

    This comment:
    If The Creator truly made men in his own image, God must be fine! – DA

    Every time I see this picture I can’t help but smile.

  • Cat Luster January 12, 2016, 4:42 pm

    Luvvie, whichever of your friends said “the tendency for hoeosity is high” has me literally in tears. Mainly cuz she ain’t nevah lied! ROTFL!!

  • NeNeBaby January 26, 2016, 8:23 pm

    Hey! Ain’t the brother in the Quaker hat John David? Denzel’s son?

  • Aissata March 16, 2016, 9:35 am

    Mr Silvery beard over there lookin like he would smell so good! We about to do some real grown shit..damn he could have it all I swear
    Man right behind him (right of Michael Bae) looking like his son with that fresh beard lawd I really cannot

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