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The Mother and Daughter That No One Mistakes for Twins

Some people really do be trying it out here, trying to belong even where they didn’t RSVP. After three Black ladies were in a picture and no one could tell who amongst them was the Mama, folks thought they could play this game too. Knowing good and damb well they don’t even go to this school.

This is the tweet that got folks feeling left out:

UNCRACKING BLACK AT ITS FINEST. Mom is the one on the left, by the way. Just.. ridiculous for you to be in your mid 30s and still legit look like a teenager.

Anywho, another mother and daughter set have been making rounds talmbout how folks can’t tell them apart. The entire internet basically replied with “BISHWHERE?” I don’t like to talk about God’s children (I’m lying) but the mother is 33, and says people mistake her for her teenage daughter.

This picture is a visual representation of “The devil is a tired ass liar.” Just look.

Mother Daughter Nontwins

Unless the girl on the left is the Mom, this ain’t no trick question. Who can’t tell the difference? They should really get those cataracts fixed. I don’t even understand how this became a thing and who lied to them so bad.

But like, the Mom is 33, y’all. That woman is only 2 years older than me. What happened? Did moisturizer fail her? I just feel like there is a story to tell here. And this hair. Why this hair?

I posted the picture on my Facebook profile page and my friends proceeded to nullify any Heavenly VIP passes I might have had as I cackled like a troll at their comments. They let them have it.


Amy: This reminds me of the mom and daughters in the car, where you said black don’t crack. White do fright? There’s a better joke in there but I can’t find it.

Jessica: Not black definitely DOES crack. And these two are smoking crack if they think they look the same age.

TamTee: Bless their hearts. And faces.

Erin: The most horrifying thing about this is that she’s 33.

Sope:  I was like 33….wait what??? So ur skin is just….alll the collagen and elastin was like good-day ma’am and just checked out at 15? what is the meaning of this???

Susan: They would have been okay if they had simply claimed that people mistook the mom for an older sister. But not tell them apart? Um no, unless it was a blind person feeling their hair. Which um, also no.

Alexis: I thought this was that story where the mom was encouraging the daughter’s stripping to pay for their plastic surgery at first. Man, they tried so hard though. E for effort.

you tried nicki gif

Arlene: Ha! So the excessive makeup, 80s crimps and fried bouffant are supposed to blind us to the ravages of aging whilst White?! Oh. Yeah. Okay. Not so much, tho.

Mallori: OH BUT OF COURSE!!!!! White people white peopling once again and failing per always.

Sue: Jesus be a makeover.

Latisha: Ma’am…and lil ma’am, we can see the difference. Oh, and I just took a call for you. The 90s was on the line…they want that crimping iron back. #StaceyQ1and2

Nora: If I ever behave like this with my daughter, please slap me sane. Thank you in advance.

Denise: They’re right. There’s no way that Stevie Wonder could tell them apart.

Nora: His blindness has heightened all of his senses. He knew before they went public.

Tisha: Lmao! It’s black that don’t crack! B-l-a-c-k! BLACK! Ya girl probably 30 but look at least 48!

Christi: Also, I’m so sorry for whatever happened to cause the daughter to lose her chin.

Emma: She will never be able to fold towels.

Nora: Hard living and dehydration from a lifetime of thirst will age a woman.

Wendi:  If you put the mother next to my white poodle, that’d at least be a challenge.

Bryan:

Tell di troof

Arlene: I bet the mama still wears pants with “Juicy” on the butt and tries to steal the little girls boyfriends thereby guaranteeing a life of therapy for Lil Miss.

Eva: Where do you get a working crimping iron in 2016? #curious

Tracy: The real question should’ve been “can you tell who has an actual rat living in their hair?” Because, seriously.

Rene: The kid looks like Rick Astley.

Jessica: I think we have to mention that their strategy was clearly not to make the mother look younger but to just make the daughter ALSO look like a 50-year-old shopping in the juniors section. That makeup! That hair. WUT.

Sope: I’m mad about this. They tried the fuck out of us with this. Trolling ass trolls. Like why are we even here?

Tonja: Which one is the disgruntled potato?

Karisa: Also, why are they going so hard in the paint with the crimping iron…DAMN!!!

Shatani: Crimp for your life!!!

Karisa: *crimp walking*

Shatani: Crimpin ain’t easy!

Karisa: Straight Outta Crimpton!!!

Eureka: That Crimp N Curl Cabbage Patch AIN’T NEVA NO 33 YRS OLD!!

Honey: Sad thing is both of them look old. One just look waaaaaaaay older than the other. #WhiteDunCracked

Robert: There is no Black girl magic to report here!

Cm: This reminds me of a line from my favorite MLK speech…”SOMEBODY LIED TODAY!!”-MLK Speech lol

Jennifer: This seems too easy. What if the mom is the one on the left and the daughter was raised in a tanning bed and has chain-smoked since she was 3? It’s a trick question. That’s what I’m going with.

Amy: OMG wait, that woman is 33 years old? She looks fifty! Which is fine, as long as you’re not going around saying you look like your daughter.

Tst: White Privilege comes at the Dorian Grey cost. po thangs.

Damacia: Who lied to this woman? I need answers. They need to be slapped for that treacherous lie. Having this woman out here believing that mess too.

Amy: Mom clearly needs better people. And little miss needs an intervention before she follows her mother down the road to destructive premature aging.

Ayoka: You think the jowls gave it away? Lmao! Crimping your hair doesn’t make you 16. #fail

Jennifer: She hasn’t any friends?

Celestia:

Cool mom

Stephanie: The mom is giving me a blonde Allison Janney… And 33? When, 15 years ago?

 

Sharetta: I’ll take “The Older One w/the grey roots on the Right” for $300 & the win, Alex. Really?

Stephon: now,y’all stop. You know it’s hard out there for the crimps.


I’m so done with all of them. No behavior to be found ANYWHERE, man. Sans behavior. Behavior deficiency is an epidemic on my pages.

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49 Comments

  1. FixitJesus
    February 18, 2016 at 7:28 am

    White do fright?!?!?!
    I’m done for the day. Lol

  2. CAPD
    February 18, 2016 at 7:33 am

    dang. I’m white and about to be 33. Is that what’s going to happen to me!??!!?

  3. Amy
    February 18, 2016 at 7:41 am

    Looks like the ravages of tanning bed. I’m white and 46. I’m lax in my moisturizing routine and my skin isn’t that bad.

    • whilome
      February 18, 2016 at 9:18 pm

      Yep. That’s a tanner AND smoker. That’ll do it.

      • Melissa
        February 24, 2016 at 12:50 pm

        Yep, I’m 4 years older than that mom and people regularly think I’m 25. Tanning and smoking will severely age your skin. There are perks to growing up gothy and avoiding the sun (ok, I’m still gothy, just a bit more grown/polished gothy).

  4. February 18, 2016 at 7:42 am

    This article just convince me to grow my eyebrows out. Thanks.

  5. Lia
    February 18, 2016 at 7:45 am

    Lawd Jesus! Why can’t we have anything without our Caucasian counterparts trying to cosign within 24 hours? Stay in your lane ladies, stay in your lane. Looking like you got in a fist fight with your crimping iron. Staph! I am still sniggling at whoever said that homegirl can’t fold towels. Don’t have me sliding out my chair at work! #dead

    • Mel
      February 18, 2016 at 12:33 pm

      I about plotzed over that one! My husband’s side of the family is severely chin deficient. When our first born came out the VERY first thing he said upon gazing his eyes on her in those miraculous first moment was, “She has a chin!” Our second kid has enough to pass.

  6. LextheAssociate
    February 18, 2016 at 7:48 am

    The folding towels comment….

    • Cydney
      February 18, 2016 at 8:17 am

      Was more than I could handle this early in the damn morning #ctfu

    • February 18, 2016 at 8:30 am

      yeah, ‘EMMA” is pretty much my new bff

    • MissusMax
      February 18, 2016 at 9:23 am

      I literally had to duck down at my desk and call on all of the angels & saints to keep from riding my milky white horse to glory at that comment. I don’t need my coworkers tryna plan my homegoing.

  7. WheresMyChill
    February 18, 2016 at 7:49 am

    “White privilege comes with the Dorian Grey cost.” Bahahaha This made Oscar Wilde so proud!!!😂😂😂😂 Bless your heart.

  8. February 18, 2016 at 8:13 am

    Also — wanna-be high elves from a low-rent Lord of the Rings. I think I am done now.

    • Lisa
      February 18, 2016 at 4:06 pm

      LOLOL!! High five!!

  9. Cydney
    February 18, 2016 at 8:15 am

    Holup holup holup “she will never be able to fold towels” I am almost under my desk with tears in my eyes, all behavior has left my body I am nothing but giggles at this moment, getting sideeyed by the whole office #askmeificare

    • February 18, 2016 at 8:49 am

      omg… Emma don took me out! po baby can’t fold towels ever! *tears!*

  10. t r
    February 18, 2016 at 8:15 am

    Aging. Whilst. White. *commands Arlene to go saddown somewhere while I’m in my supervisor’s office getting reprimanded for surfing the web on the clock and then cackling like a fiend

  11. February 18, 2016 at 8:36 am

    #staceyq1and2 though? I thought my Thursday was gunna be productive………. I was wrong. #thatsitfolksANDCUT

  12. KayMac
    February 18, 2016 at 8:53 am

    “The kid looks like Rick Astley.”

    Aight then…I’m done for the day. *logs out of work computer*

  13. February 18, 2016 at 9:06 am

    “white do fright” BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    I never go out in the sun, so I look quite a bit younger than I am. However, I am also so white I could probably be classified as a light source….

  14. SoulfliHoneyBea
    February 18, 2016 at 9:06 am

    I was gone to glory when I read : White Privilege comes at the Dorian Grey cost. LORDT! Serve Kool-Aid at my repast….

  15. Pamela
    February 18, 2016 at 9:17 am

    That mom needs some time in the corner to think about what she’s done.

  16. Tracy
    February 18, 2016 at 9:27 am

    The daughter looks like Charlie Brown’s lesser-known, not talked about in public, stripper sister. They need to make another Men In Black movie so she can star as the Nochinian. The Mom is just…ick. You know she wears frosted pink lipstick while snapping her Hubba Bubba. And as a former bleached platinum blonde, I can say with certainty that he her feels like straw when dry, and bubblegum when wet. She needs to stop shopping in Forever21 and move on to Fuckin50.

    • Kenyatta
      February 18, 2016 at 12:46 pm

      Not nan day will she buy Hubba Bubba BWAHAHAHAHA!

    • Peaches
      February 18, 2016 at 2:15 pm

      Ma’am. Fuckin50 though? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  17. Janel
    February 18, 2016 at 9:39 am

    I creid at “she will never be able to fold towels.”. but seriously, what happend to her chin?

  18. Emily Harris
    February 18, 2016 at 9:46 am

    Wayment. When did Jan Brady switch from the Afro wig to a crimp wig? That poor little girl looks like she knows her Mom, in yet another desperate bid to outdo her stepmother, called her publicist friend like, “Kip, people mistake me for my daughter all the time, that’s a story, right?”

  19. Kay
    February 18, 2016 at 9:49 am

    That daughter is gonna need therapy. That lady is probably like the mom on meangirls

  20. S
    February 18, 2016 at 10:09 am

    They don’t even look related. Not only would I not think they were twins, I also probably wouldn’t even venture to mother/daughter.

  21. Gina
    February 18, 2016 at 10:52 am

    What in the HAELL is up with the hedgehog, home dyed and styled ,crimped mullet!? I am at a loss for words.. I …I. Lawd I am done…

  22. Stacey
    February 18, 2016 at 11:18 am

    *windmill air fights Latisha for that StaceyQ reference*

  23. Liz
    February 18, 2016 at 12:59 pm

    Bryan for the win on the TELL DI TROOF meme. I cackled. The fourth rib from the top on the right side of my rib cage hurts!!

  24. Lollister
    February 18, 2016 at 1:39 pm

    Ok, so I understand a few members of the Saltine Crew can’t handle Anything NOT being all about them, but Dang, man! Is there anyone who didn’t notice the 48 year old drag queen on the right? And who authorized her to steal a crimping iron from the Smithsonian Museum?! Why, Sway?!!

    Also, I officially quit you when I read this comment:

    “Jennifer: This seems too easy. What if the mom is the one on the left and the daughter was raised in a tanning bed and has chain-smoked since she was 3? It’s a trick question. That’s what I’m going with.”

    iDied Laughing. Can’t cope. This is #PettyPerfection at its most perfect pettiness. iCan’t.

  25. the_spiral
    February 18, 2016 at 2:10 pm

    The mom is a raggedy a$$ mess by choice and fair game, but y’all wrong for insulting a little 14-year-old girl’s face. This child will have a hard enough life being raised by a delusional narcissist without adult strangers dragging her bone structure online.

  26. Renon
    February 18, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    CRIMPIN’ AIN’T EASY!

    I. AM. DONE! LMAOOOOOOOOO

  27. NiHi
    February 18, 2016 at 5:03 pm

    She’s a liiiiiiiiiiyaaaa and the troof ain’t in em’. The only way they could be mistaken for anything other than human is somebody slid their hands over their face using the Braille technique. Even then they’d know the difference when their hand suddenly slipped where a chin should be.

  28. blackprofessor
    February 18, 2016 at 5:53 pm

    I died at Rick Astley..

  29. February 18, 2016 at 7:09 pm

    Frederick Douglas: “Wait one cotton crimping minute, that bitch stole my look!”

  30. Reesee
    February 18, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    My side hurts y’all!!!!!!

  31. Reesee
    February 18, 2016 at 9:17 pm

    She can’t fold towels!!!!!!

  32. Quiana
    February 19, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    My Mom just said, “Mom & daughter, looking like two albino wolves”. I literally LOL!!!

    • tinabeanie
      February 20, 2016 at 8:44 pm

      You know I read that as I literally howled….and I lost my breath laughing! LOL!

  33. notconvincedgranny
    February 19, 2016 at 3:50 pm

    Daughter got that pre-school look. Chin always on recess.

  34. Debra
    February 19, 2016 at 7:07 pm

    I am going to need some serious CPR and a collective “bishwheeere”! I demand a recount..Luvvie you are no longer my friend, got my family wondering if grandma has officially lost the last string of reality. I am past done..crine real tears, almost pissed my pants over these comments.. The struggle is real for the po thanks..White does fright dayyum

  35. TD
    February 22, 2016 at 10:46 pm

    Why is the daughters chin running from her neck?

  36. Queenie
    February 29, 2016 at 4:52 pm

    Wiping real tears.
    I hate Awesomely Luvvie and all her followers for making me cry, cackle, snort, and having my sides hurt while laughing. I cannot stand any of you!

  37. MissezH
    March 5, 2016 at 12:29 am

    I can NEVER wear mascara and read the comments on your page. “SOMEBODY LIED TODAY” had me coughing.