The Winds of Winter: Game of Thrones Season 6 Finale Recap

Season 6 of Game of Thrones is the best one yet, and if you disagree, you are wrong. This season has 2 of my favorite episodes EVER: The Door and Battle of the Bastards. And from the ep 601 to now, it has been the best type of storytelling, in a show that already excels at juggling multiple balls without dropping any.

And this finale episode was 69 minutes of HELL YES. I mean, from start to finish, it blew my mind. How could they top the episode where the most evil villain gets torn to pieces by his own dogs? You have one where a major fan theory is confirmed, 11 castmembers are killed and the most coveted seat in the Seven Kingdom gets a surprising occupant.

Let’s talk about it.

Season Finale Game of Thrones

King’s Landing

The folks of King’s Landing are getting ready for the trial, and people are putting on their clothes. Tommen is being dressed in his regalia, and Margaery’s hair is being braided. Cersei is getting dressed in a bad ass leather coat, but she is in no rush. Because when she’s done, she stares out her window at Red Keep.

Folks file into the court hall, and one of the scientologists of Westeros walks in with Loras Tyrell, who looks like what he’s been through. He tells the High Sparrow that he doesn’t even need a trial. He confesses to his crimes which include sleeping with Renly Baratheon. He says he will dedicate his life to serving the 7 gods, and remain chaste and unmarried forever. He kneels and the Sparrows brand his forehead with the Faith’s mark, while his sister Margery and father look on, disturbed.

Margaery and her daddy

Maester Pycelle is done messing with a prostitute and he doesn’t even pay her. Ew and terrible. When he leaves the room, a little bird (one of the street kids) whispers something in his ear, and he follows her. She takes him to the dungeon and standing there is Qyburn. “Please forgive me if you can… but sometimes before we can usher in the new, the old must be put to rest.” There is a group of kids standing there holding knives and they start stabbing Pycelle like he’s a voodoo doll. He dies in the dark.

The door to Tommen’s chamber opens and it is the FrankenMount standing there, refusing to let him leave to go to the trial. At the hall, Margaery asks the Head Scientologist where Cersei is, and Lancel says she never left Red Keep. Yeah, cuz she’s there sipping on wine. He is sent to go bring her back by force, and when he exits the building, he sees one of the little birds running and follows him. He ends up in the dark underground and the kid sneaks up to him and stabs him really quickly. Lancel falls to the ground, hurt but nothing too serious, because he can still crawl, which he does. Around him are kegs with dripping green liquid: wildfire.

Cersei stands in the window of her Red Keep chamber, looking calm and day and sipping wine like the pro she is.

Cersei

Margaery tells the High Sparrow and something’s off, because Cersei clearly isn’t coming to this clusterfuck trial and it is best if they all leave. He scoffs at her and says they will do this trial with or without her.

Down in the dungeon Lancel sees 3 melting candles placed in the middle of the green liquid. He crawls faster to reach the candles before the flame hits the wildfire.

Margaery grabs her brother and tries to leave the hall but the Septons are blocking the way.

Lancel is less than a foot away from the burning candle when the whole thing lights up. Wildfire goes blasting through the underground and quickly reaches the hall. The High Sparrow is the first thing incinerated.

Windfire burns

The entire building fills up with wildfire, blowing up everything remotely close, so basically an entire section of King’s Landing.

Cersei watches this happen, and turns around with her wine in her had, looking smug and very satisfied. Tommen also watches this happen, with shocked tears in his eyes.

Cersei heads to the jail cell, where Septa Unella is tied down. She wineboards her, and says she does shit that feels good, like sleeping with her brother, killing her husband, the High Sparrow. So as she promised her, the last thing she will see before she dies is her face. The Septa said she ain’t afraid of death. Right then FrankenMount comes in, takes off his helmet and goes to town on her, stretching the nun out. “Your gods have forsaken you. This is your god now.”  As she screams, Cersei exits, saying SHAME. SHAME. SHAME over again. Because she’s a snarky evil villain.

As Tommen stares out the window, watching the ruins of his kingdom, ablaze from his mama, he gently takes off his crown and walks away to place it down. We watch the smoke billowing and then see Tommen quickstep, get on the window ledge and do a CLEAN smooth criminal lean out the window to his death.

Tommen fall

WELP!

Later, when Cersei learns about her last born’s fate, she barely even looks sad. She tells Qyburn “Burn him and bury his ashes where the Sept once stood.”

The Citadel

Samwell and Gilly arrive at the Citadel, and when they walk in, the guy at the door isn’t that welcoming. Sam presents him with a letter from Lord Commander Jon Snow, and the man opens his book and says he doesn’t have a record of such a Lord Commander. The last person he has in his books is Lord Commander Jeor Mormont. Sam says he has since died, and so has Maester Aemon Targaryen, which is why they haven’t been updated.

The guy says it is unusual and he’ll need to escalate this to the archmaester but he’ll let Sam use the library in the meantime. Gilly and the baby are not welcome in that part of the Citadel.

Sam walks into the library, which is literally awesome. It looks to be endless floors, all lined with books, and in the center is a hanging astrolabe.

Samwell Citadel

Tarly marvels at the enormous place, overwhelmed by the amount of knowledge it holds.

Dorne

In Dorne, Ellaria and her daughters are meeting with Lady Olenna Tyrell, who made sure to let them know she ain’t there for their boolsheet, especially when one of the girls addresses her.

“Obara. You look like an angry little boy. Don’t presume to tell me what I need.”

Lady Olenna

BLOOP. THE Sophia Petrillo of Westeros has spoken and you will deal with all the shade she throws your way. She turns to Ellaria and asks that the grown women talk, not these goon girls.

Ellaria says they need to be allies to survive but Olenna doesn’t give a damb about survival. What she wants? Vengeance, and Varys emerges from the shadows, saying “Fire and blood.” That’s the Targaryen creed.

Frey’s Castle

Walder Frey is celebrating the return of the Tully castle to him, and thanks Jaime Lannister for it. He gives a shoutout to the Frey-Lannister alliance and all the drunken fools roar with him.

Frey comes and sits next to Jaime, celebrating the battle he ain’t even fight. Jaime pulls his hoe card and asks how much fighting has the UGLASS old man ever done? Walder says he ain’t gotta fight to win, because everyone who mocks him dies, like the Starks and the Tullys. Lannister says he’s tired of his house playing Captain Save-a-Hoe for House Frey. This alliance of theirs is pretty one-sided, ain’t it?

Later on, Walder is alone eating pie when a girl comes in to serve him. Because he is a gross perv, he flirts with her and insults his kids at once, saying he knows she ain’t one of his lot because she’s too pretty. EWWWW. He even slaps her on the ass.

He asks where his sons are and the girl says “they’re here, my lord.” He looks around and the girl opens up the pie and points inside. She said Black Walder was especially hard to chop up. He looks up and she pulls off her face, revealing Arya Stark. “My name is Arya Stark and I want you to know that. The last thing you’re ever going to see is a Stark smiling down at you as you die.” She goes behind him and slits his throat, which is the exact way her mother was killed at the Red Wedding. She smiles as Frey gurgles blood and dies.

arya walder

One more name off her list.

On the Run Tour

Bran, Meera and Benjen Stark get close to The Wall and uncle says he has to drop them off there. The Wall wasn’t just created with a bunch of ice. The magic that keeps it standing keeps out the undead, and since he technically is, this is where his journey with them ends. “While it stands, the dead cannot pass.” He wishes them luck and says he will fight the good fight.

When he leaves, Bran sees a tree and asks Meera to take him to it. He touches it and his Three-Eyed Raven-ness activates, taking him back to that scene where he saw his young father standing outside a tower. He follows Ned in and laying on a bed in a pool of blood is Lyanna Stark. She wants her brother to promise her something and whispers in his ear: “You have to protect him. Promise me, Ned.” A woman brings out a tiny baby, handing him to her brother. The baby opens his eyes and we end up in Winterfell in present day, with Jon.

Jon Targaryen

That baby is Jon. Confirmation. We shall get to that later.

Meereen

Daario Naharis tells Danaerys that the ships are ready for her for their journey to Westeros, but Mother of Dragons tells him he is not going. He is dumbfounded. She says she wants go rule, and taking her hoe with her won’t work if she plans on marrying to get her alliances. He doesn’t care about being her hoe, doe. He just wants to come because he loves her. But what’s love got to do with getting this Iron Throne?? She tells him “Nah” and he is crushed.

“I’m not angry. I’m full of self-pity. Who can ever follow Danaerys Stormborn, Mother of Dragons?” TRUE. He better go on OkCupid and find a substitute. She says farewell and he gives her a weak bow.

She walks into the palace hall and Tyrion is waiting to see how Daario took the news. He gives her kudos for sacrificing that type of devoted man and tries to console her by saying she finally has it all now. Dany’s ready to do this thang but she still needs a picker upper and Tyrion does just that. He is a Professional cynic yet he believes in HER. He doesn’t have a sword but if he did, he would swear it to her, and she says she doesn’t want that. She wants his counsel. “Tyrion Lannister, I name you Hand of the Queen.”

Tyrion Dany 1 Tyrion Dany 2

I have never seen Tyrion get emotional but he tears up a bit and bows to the Queen. This is one of my favorite alliances yet, and such a touching moment.

Winterfell

In Winterfell, Jon is in the family’s dining room, reminiscing to Melisandre about how they would have feasts at the main table, but he had to sit at a table at the end of the room. The Red Woman says he at least had feasts. In walks Ser Davos, livid. He throws the black stag to Melisandre and insists that she tell Jon whose it was. Red Woman confesses that they burned Shireen Baratheon at the stake. “If he commands you to burn children, your lord is evil… I loved that girl like she was my own! She was good. She was kind. And you killed her!”

Davos Melisandre 1 Davos Melisandre 2

Davos wants to kill Melisandre himself, because her admitting that she was wrong is not enough to bring all the folks who died back from her wrongness. Jon looks and her and tells her to ride the hell south, because if he ever sees her in the North, he will have her hanged. Fuck her and the war she says he’ll need her for. She rides away on her house as Jon watches from the top of Winterfell.

Sansa joins her brother and tells him that he is a Stark to her. Their parents room is being prepared for her and she should have it because she saved the day by summoning the Knights of the Vale. No, she doesn’t trust Littlefinger and she’s sorry she didn’t tell him about the army that was coming. Jon says: “We need to trust each other. We can’t fight a war amongst ourselves. We have so many enemies now.” Real talk, Jonathan. I’ma call him Jonathan when he says some real shit because that sounds real serious.

Sansa tells her brother that a white raven came from the Citadel. Winter is officially here. GHEN GHEN.

Sansa goes to think by a tree and here comes Littlefinger. What do you want??? Well, he wants the Iron Throne, and he wants to take it while she’s next to him. Damb it, we knew he wanted some Sansa pannies. He even tries to kiss her but she says that’s cute but nah.

Sansa Littlefinger

Access: hella denied.

She calls him self-serving. “Who should the North rally behind? The true daughter of Ned and Catelyn Stark or a motherless bastard born in the south?” She walks away saying nothing, clear that he is tryna haterate in her and Jon’s sibling dancerie. He doesn’t want them to be united.

We get back to Winterfell, from the baby to a grown Jon, sitting in a rowdy room with the kings of the Northern Houses. They do not wanna form any alliance that includes Wildlings, but Jon reminds them that they were right there helping them win against the Boltons. Also, they’re not done fighting. The real war is to come. The men murmur until they’re interrupted by Lady Lyanna Mormont.

She calls out three of the punk ass Lords in that room who didn’t come when Jon needed them. “You refused the call. But House Mormont remembers. The North remembers. We know no king but the king in the North whose name is Stark. I don’t care if he’s a bastard… He’s my king from this day until his last day.”

Lyanna Mormont 2

The rebuke from the greatest 10 year old ever prompts the lords of the houses to apologize and own up to their mistake. Lord Manderly calls Jon “The White Wolf” and hails “THE KING IN THE NORTH.” He is joined by the entire room, which chants “The King in the North” and their swords go in the air.

Jon looks overwhelmed and Sansa looks proud. Until she looks over and sees Littlefinger’s shifty ass.

In the end:

Jaime makes it back to King’s Landing and sees the ruins left by the Wildfire. Just then, Cersei, dressed in all black like an omen, and backed by Qyburn and the Mount, ascends the altar and takes a seat on the Iron Throne. Jaime looks on as they place a crown on his sister-lover’s head. The two of them lock eyes and what I interpret to be true recognition in of her evilness in Jaime’s eyes.

The Greyjoy flag flies on the ship with Yara and Theon. The Unsullieds are on another ship and the entire fleet sails out. Some of them fly the flag of the Sands, and some have the Tyrell banner. The three dragons fly above them all and the ship in the front has Varys and Missandei standing behind Danaerys and Tyrion. The Mother of Dragons is sailing to Westeros to claim that Iron Throne.

Dany sails


WESTEROS IS GONNA BE A LITUATION IN SEASON 7! The battle for the Iron Throne is one thing but the battle against the White Walkers is another. Nobody is gonna be safe with what is now happening, and that means the action will be swift. Word on the streets is that GOT has one more full season and an abbreviated season 8 and there’s still a lot of shit to take care of.

Tommen’s death: I hollered when that boy did that trust fall out that window. Like straight cackled. It’s the bravest, most decisive thing he’s ever done, and probably the only decision he ever made that someone didn’t make for him. Although, that’s kinda debatable because what else could he do when his mama blew up a portion of the place he ruled, his wife, his father-in-law, brother-in-law and the religious radical he just formed an alliance with? What else are you supposed to do when you find out your mama is the devil herself? If you’re punk ass, coddled ass Tommen Baratheon? You fall out the highest window in the land to your demise, that’s what. He was all “Well shit. Nothing left for me to do here. Fuck everything. I’m out.”

I’m sad to see Margaery go, because I really do think she was cooking up some shit but she stood no chance against that wack ass Head Scientologist who was playing checkers to Cersei’s chess.

Margaery Sparrow 1 Margaery Sparrow 2

Cersei’s Queendom: Tommen’s death didn’t punish Cersei as much as it gave her freedom. The prophesy has been fulfilled, about how she will lose all three of her children. Now, there’s nothing left for her to protect. Nothing can be used as collateral against her. All Cersei has in this world is her ego and lust for power. This makes her even more dangerous than before. Nothing to lose? Go all out.

I mean, the woman has made her way to the Iron Throne, but to get there, she lost her husband, her three children and any ounce of give a fuck. She has no friends and any allies she has aren’t devoted from a sense of loyalty but from habit and fear. As of right now, she only has TWO solid ones left: Qyburn and the Mount. And one is basically a robot so there’s that. I don’t name Jaime here because I think something has changed for him, seeing the lengths she’d go, and how she’s basically become the Mad Queen.

Jaime Cersei

I don’t know what he’s gonna do with that but I feel like he’s going to turn on her. Might he become the Queenslayer? Is the the valonqar who will choke the life out of her like her prophecy said? Hmmm… The very thing he killed the Mad King for, preventing him from using wildfire to do massive damage is what she just did.

I WILL say that Cersei’s outfit was my fave thing she’s ever had on. She suited up for war in black leather and chains, looking every bit the bad ass that she is. It’s a new day, with new clothes and a new seat for the Lannister sis. She is not here to play either. But how long will she be on that Throne? No one leaves it alive or on their on volition.

Danaerys is Coming: Now that Dany is sailing to Westeros with her fleet and an alliance of the Tyrells and Ellaria an’ ’em, I really wonder what her first move will be. And will Euron and his 1,000 ships interrupt? And who will Drogon burn up first? And about that Iron Throne. Will Cersei even stand a chance against the Mother of Dragons? I assume ain’t no more wildfire but who knows?

R+L=J: This is the shorthand for the most popular theory of Game of Thrones, and to see it confirmed is basically a technicality at this point. Everyone had figured this out already but it’s good to see it. R+L=J is Rhaegar (Targaryen) + Lyanna (Stark) = Jon (Snow). I won’t explain it all here but google it and fall into the blackhole. But Jon’s parentage has always been up for questioning because Ned Stark was an honorable man and a baby from a one night stand he had while he was at war was so far from something he’d do. And then folks started piecing clues together and BAM.

Ned Jon 2 Ned Jon 1

Why is this Jon parentage important? For starters, it was the deciding factor for George RR Martin when the producers of GOT (David Benioff and Dan Weiss) came to him about adapting his tometastic works into a TV show. But down to the nitty gritty, Targaryens are fire and Starks are ice. Jon might literally be the son of fire and ice, which will make him the one who can win the battle of the Long Night. He is the Chosen One, the Neo of Westeros. It also means he is nephew to Danaerys Stormborn (Rhaegar was her brother), and together with her dragon power, they will be an unfuckwitable pair. But you add Tyrion to the mix and you have 3 dragon riders, because it is rumored that he is a Targaryen too, and there were one too many times when Tywin Lannister says “You are no son of mine.” Again, blackhole of fan theories. Go searching.

But yeah, so Jon is technically not the rightful heir of Winterfell. He’s more like the rightful king of the 7 kingdoms. WHEW.

The Queen of My Heart: I recognize no queen of my heart whose name isn’t Lyanna Mormont. I MEAN. Is she not the best thing in the history of ever?

LOVE her side-eye.

The mini side-eye sorceress

That 10 year old managed to shame a room full of grown ass men for not showing up when they were needed. She basically told them “you hoes weren’t loyal” and I loved every bit of it. I just love me some LyLy, man. Ferocious and right.

Arya the Assassin: Arya Stark is back in Westeros, coming for anyone who has wronged her and her family. She just crossed Walder Frey off her kill list, which I am very invested in. Cersei is on it and I cannot wait for them to face off, and I wonder if she’ll be beaten to it by someone else who Cersei has fucked over. Either way, Bad Ass Bootcamp pay offs begin now!

The Winning Women of Westeros: In case you didn’t know, season 6 belongs to the women. Yara Greyjoy, Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Lyanna Mormont, Brienne of Tarth, Danaerys Targaryen, Cersei Lannister. Running shit, standing in their power, fucking these people up.

Westeros Formation

And I love it. “Valar Morghulis” is “All MEN Must Die.” Yes, but leave the women standing. Well, some of them. Cersei gotta die.

THE GAME OF FUCKING THRONES. Can there be any winners? What does winning look like? What is lurking around the corner waiting for us next season? Who will live to tell the tales?

WINTER IS HERE.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • kanyindo June 29, 2016, 7:40 am

    Oh Luvvie, this recap is just so perfect. I swear, I’m still curled up in the foetal position (mentally, coz I had to get up and go to work) after that finale. Lady Lyanna is my spirit animal, Cersei’s garden of F’s to give is officially barren. And Tommen’s suicide was a bit ridiculous, I actually guffawed when it happened. Po lil Tom-Tom. He really had no other choice. How creepy were the little stabbing kids though?! And as for my girl Arya, my heart soared when she slit that no-good-dirty-ass-Frey’s throat. I literally stood up and did a dance!

  • Carriecnh12 June 29, 2016, 8:47 am

    Girl lemme tell you! This episodemail was the best finale and this season was the best yet. Cersi is the worst of the worestest, she needsaid to die but as usual she always over plays her hand and ends up playing herself, because she has clearly forgotten that the prophesy also said she would be killed by her younger sibling and I can’t remember if Jamie is older or younger than her?

    Hmmmmmmm what will he do, all I want is for Jamie to forgive himself and end up with Brienne cause my boos need some good honest loving too.

    • Candace Harris June 29, 2016, 10:46 am

      Cersei and Jaime are twins but Cersei was born first so it could be him or Tyrion who could fulfill that part of the prophecy.

      • Khalilah June 29, 2016, 11:18 am

        Cersei was born first though. She says that Jamie came out holding her foot.

        • LeAnn Kaattari June 29, 2016, 11:33 am

          Like Cain and Abel?

        • Nicole June 29, 2016, 3:23 pm

          Esau and Jacob

  • Jeniphyer June 29, 2016, 8:59 am

    Per usual, this recap was amazing. I too screamed “Tommen are you okay” when he did that MJ lean out the window lol This season was truly about the women, and it wasnt just Dany either, when a man is too busy messing with whores and the lot, a woman steps up and gets ish done. “Valar Morghulis” is “All Men Must Die. Yes, but leave the women standing. Well, some of them. Cersei gotta die.” PERFECT.

    *btw Cersei didn’t kill her father, she killed her husband

    • Casey June 30, 2016, 6:26 pm

      Lmaooooooooooooo @ “Tommen are you okay”

  • ReggaeLover June 29, 2016, 9:33 am

    This recap was everything!! I loved it… I heard another theory about Jon Snow, that he is the son of the Mad King. Supposedly all of his children had problem births and Jon’s birth was also a problem birth, I mean his mother died. I think Euron is going to be a bigger problem for Dany than they all think. Jon and Sansa are going to have some issues because Littlefinger is planting seeds of doubt. Arya will try to kill Cersei but something tells me something is going to happen there. It won’t be as swift as Walter Frey… Bran is the key to it all. He is the one character who cannot walk but he has the most power. I don’t know how the librarian fits into all of this but something tells me his story will have a huge impact on the final outcome. Why else is he still on the show.

    • LeAnn Kaattari June 29, 2016, 11:31 am

      Plus, Sam has that valeryan steel sword. He’s gonna use it.

    • Crystal June 29, 2016, 1:46 pm

      Nah, Jon Snow is definitely Lyanna and Rhaegar’s kid. But I believe Tyrion is going to turn out to be the Mad King’s son. (The Mad King apparently had a thing for Tywin’s wife. Tywin was his hand back in the day.) And obviously that was a problem birth–Tyrion was born a dwarf and his mother died. So this would make Tyrion Dany’s half brother and Jon’s half uncle. And there you have it, the dragon with three heads: Dany, Jon, and Tyrion.

      Sam is going to be learning how to defeat the White Walkers once and for all, maybe how to make more dragon glass. Whatever he learns in that library is going to be clutch.

  • FixItJesus June 29, 2016, 9:37 am

    I cant stand Cersei and I feel like Jamie is going to be the one to take her out. I was here was Arya handling Walder. I need more good stuff to happen for the Starks because they been taking L’s the entire series.

    • A Tribe Called Queens June 29, 2016, 10:16 am

      I actually think that Tyrion will be the one to take Cersei out because she has shaded him all of his life which made him had to fight!!!!! with his wisdom of course

      • FixitJesus June 29, 2016, 11:57 am

        It could be him but I dont think she would expect Jamie

        • Tesha June 30, 2016, 6:11 pm

          I think it’s going to be Arya. Somehow even after she left assassin school, she can still swipe other people’s faces. I think she’s gonna “be” Jamie, and get close to Cersei. Then kill her. Something like that. Maybe kill Jamie first (his name is on the list, right?) – after he and Brienne done got #segsy, kill him, and then Brienne will be all torn up inside bcs she’ll want to kill Arya, but can’t because of her sworn allegiance to Catelyn & Sansa. BOOM!

  • Stacy June 29, 2016, 9:40 am

    Luvvie I swear to baby Jesus that your recaps give me the life I need before my Wednesday department meetings. Cersei is the original boss b*tch! You love her and hate her at the same time. I hollered when she started shutting that door saying SHAME! I know it wasn’t pose, yes pose, to be funny but LAWD I laughed so hard. I don’t care how evil she is, homegirl ain’t deserve a naked walk of shame with feces being thrown at her. And I cried real tears when they declared Jon King in the North. Talk about started from the bottom now we here. And Lyanna is daughter goals for real. We need more of her next season. I’m officially bald because Game of Thrones has snatched my whole head of hair this season. Not nairy a baby hair to be found!

  • Kiki June 29, 2016, 9:42 am

    I’m going to buy a pitbull and name it Lyanna Mormont.

    BC reasons.

  • Shar June 29, 2016, 9:42 am

    One word: Yaaaaaaaaaaassss!

  • A Tribe Called Queens June 29, 2016, 10:01 am

    Why did I think that Ned and Lyanna Stark were the parents of Jon Snow?
    I thought the sister and brother thing was grossly a trend back then.

    Luvvie I need your recaps to pull this all together for me. I started reading the recaps before watching the series and then I had to go back a watch each episode but read the recap again first.

    Thank you for you cliff notes to an amazing series!

  • SunniiDae June 29, 2016, 10:11 am

    Spectacular recap, Luvvie. Like the Sept of Baylor, it was LIT!! The entire season, (and your recaps) have been gaining speed and S610 just shot it into the stratosphere.
    My bootyhole still hadn’t unclenched from Battle of The Bastards so, I had to let Winds of Winter just wash over me.
    Cersei: I know who I want to be for Halloween.
    Tommen: Check And MATE, MUMMY!!! It was the only decision he ever made that was truly for himself and he would have to explain or apologize for. Shame it was too late. Ladies, this is what happens when you coddle your boys. Joffery/Tommen Diff sides. Same overbearing Mommy coin IJS..
    Arya: FreyPie with extra ketchup aside. Did we catch Arya eying up Jamie as she was serving Bronn wine at dinner? A girl has plenty of room on her list.
    North: Everything was EVERYTHING!!!
    the only thing better than LyLy speech, was her ability to get through it with ACTUALLY calling one of those bannerman a “Lil’Bitch!!”
    The only thing that TRULY shocked me was Marge&Co not making it out. I though maybe my girl might wiggle loose especially since she was quick to figure it out, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Not NOOOOOBODY!!! DAYYYYYYUM!
    In retrospect, there was no way anyone could run far enough, fast enough.
    Runner-up: Cersei’s ability to scrounge up guests to her coronation. Who clicked “Accept” on that e-vite?
    I wouldn’t be surprised if Dany and the Sand Snakes (Westerosi cover band name??) rolled up on The Landing and was like “Nahhh….. I don’t like this neighborhood”
    The sculpture in the library is the same thing that is shown in the opening credits.

    • JKsMom June 29, 2016, 10:54 am

      Not who clicked accept on that evite!😂😂😂😂

    • Juliet June 30, 2016, 2:42 am

      OMG you’re hilarious!

  • Veruca Salt June 29, 2016, 10:12 am

    I’m so happy for your recaps. I have never seen an episode of this show but I know it’s really good (I’m just wimpy about onscreen violence). So I read your recaps and I know all the cool stuff that’s happening. A friend on FB asked “OK, so really, who are Jon Snow’s parents?” bc apparently he was not paying attention. And I was able to tell him the whole thing even though I’ve never read the books or seen the show. THIS IS AN EDUCATIONAL WEBSITE, is what I’m saying.

    Also, I need to make sure my kids never see this show on account of my 12 year old is already halfway to Lyanna Mormont, she don’t need any extra encouragement.

    • Shelbey June 29, 2016, 2:19 pm

      Me too!! I have never seen the show, but I am obsessed with the recaps. I’m like a GOT expert now thanks to Luvvie! I’m REAL glad to see I am not alone in this.

  • A Tribe Called Queens June 29, 2016, 10:21 am

    Hey Nation,

    Yall have to see Dany in the short video gigging to Tupac’s Thug Life song.

    goggle it. I saw it on instagram

    • Scotian Queen July 7, 2016, 8:42 am

      I cant find it….

  • K to the... June 29, 2016, 10:25 am

    Remember in the previous episode when Qyburn told Cersei that he confirmed a rumor was true and we were like “What rumor?” Could the rumor had been about the wildfire still being under the city from when the Mad King was alive? Which is what prompted Jamie to kill him so he wouldn’t have burned everything. This immediately came to mind after the explosion.

    Ugh. I’m obsessed.

    • CT June 29, 2016, 11:23 am

      Yup! And then Tyrion talked about it in the last episode. The Mad King had wildfire hidden under every major building in Westeros. Which means The Mad Queen still has some major ammo.

    • Milaxx June 29, 2016, 12:15 pm

      I think so cause she was scheming on what else she could do after Tommen aligned himself with the High Sparrow.

  • BK June 29, 2016, 10:27 am

    Lady Mormont is my new favorite character, right next to Oleanna Tyrell. She pretty much told those men “Where were you bitches when Jon Snow needed you????” LOL!!!

  • Elle June 29, 2016, 10:35 am

    I don’t even watch Game of Thrones yet, but I’m going to have to start now because of your recaps. I LOVE these recaps and wait for them on Wednesdays.

    • Idontknoweverything July 1, 2016, 1:32 pm

      If you are a book, reader, the books are very good as well. Doesn’t matter what order you do that. There are enough differences between the books and the show to make it interesting. Also, the show is so high quality you have to watch it. I don’t have HBO, but I’ve watched all the previous seasons when it was offered for free on Uverse. I may just have to spring for HBO since everyone says this epp was epic.

      • Elle July 5, 2016, 8:32 am

        Adding it to my list. Luvvie, when are you firing up the LuvNation bookclub? Who do get to host the circle for I’m Judging You? ATribeCalledQueens is in charge of the collections. Who got the snacks?

  • Shellee June 29, 2016, 10:44 am

    1. How in the hell is Varys getting to all of these places so quickly?! He left Mereen, went to Dorne, came BACK to Mereen to catch the ship back to King’s Landing. I mean…can he teleport or something? Frequent sailor miles?

    2. I hope Cersei at least saved a book of matches, because that was a terrible use of all the wildfire. She couldn’t have gotten the Mountain to save some anywhere else for a rainy day?

    3. Do we REALLY know who Jon’s daddy is? Sad thing is, regardless of parentage, he is still a bastard…

    • blackberry molasses June 29, 2016, 11:55 am

      we can infer from the following that Rhaegar is Jon’s father-
      1. Lyanna and Rhaegar had been gone for nearly a year at this point. plenty of time for them to conceive a child
      2. he had his BEST knights of the kingsguard (who weren’t in kingsguard armor, but Targaryen armor) guarding the Tower of Joy. Kingsguard are meant to protect the royal family. children included.
      3. Ser Arthur Dayne was THE best swordsman in the kingdom at the time. when Ned asked him why he wasn’t at the Trident to protect his prince and he said “my prince wanted me here.” why? to protect whom? his son.
      4. when Lyanna asked Ned to protect Jon, he needed protection from Robert. Robert’s bloodlust for Targaryens (proved in season one when he admitted having dreams of killing Rhaegar every night and had no qualms about sending assassins to kill Daenerys AND her unborn child) put Jon in certain danger. also, if his parentage was known, he would be a challenger to Robert’s rule. half the kingdom sided with the Crown during Robert’s Rebellion, including the Reach, Dorne and the Crownlands

    • Milaxx June 29, 2016, 12:19 pm

      The writer’s have said that all the event are not running consecutively. Some run concurrent to other events. There is also speculation that Dany stopped in Dorne to pick up Varys which is why there are also Sand & Tyrell banners on the boats. Varys convinced them to align with Dany.

      • LIsa June 30, 2016, 11:11 am

        But is Dany mother one of the Sand family?

        • Tesha June 30, 2016, 6:17 pm

          No – Her Mom (Rhaella) and dad (Aerys, the Mad King) were brother and sister – both Targaryen. #Ewww

    • RobW June 30, 2016, 10:19 am

      Exactly! How the hell is his bald headed ass traveling around the world so fast!?!

  • nyleve June 29, 2016, 10:51 am

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your recaps! Arya’s hit list though: The hound is still alive and also on her list are Cersei, the Red Woman, Beric Dondarrion, Thoros of Myr, and Ilyn Payne.

    • Crystal June 29, 2016, 2:00 pm

      I think Arya will take the Hound off her list. She admitted that she was confused about how she felt about him when she was in the House of B&W. Plus, when she gets back to Winterfell and Sansa confirms that the Hound saved her from getting gang raped, Arya will give him a pass.

    • Jaybeth June 29, 2016, 2:14 pm

      There was a time though, when Arya was going through her bootcamp training with the waif that she said that she was not sure if the hound was still on her list.

  • Jade June 29, 2016, 10:57 am

    Even Lady Mormont’s horse is blinking with attitude

    • SunnDae June 29, 2016, 2:40 pm

      🐴🐴🐎🐎 “blinking with attitude”
      BWHAHAHAHA!!

    • Julie O'Bryant June 29, 2016, 2:56 pm

      I need her horse AND her attitude.

  • T June 29, 2016, 10:59 am

    Perfect recap, Luvvie.

    Cersei – I hate her, but her outfit was EVERYTHANG. Yes. Everythang. And I think Jamie is gonna be the one to take her out. Remember the prophecy she got from the witch? It wasn’t just about her chaps all dying; she was also told her younger brother was gonna take her out. She’s always thought that meant Tyrion, but Jamie is her younger brother too…by just a few minutes. Now that Cersei doesn’t have her kids to soften her up (not that they ever did by much), she’s really gonna go crazy. Jamie’s already proven that he’ll take out a batshit crazy king; what do you think he’s gonna do when he finds out that their last child together is dead because of something SHE did? Had she not left Tommen alone thinking that his wife, the Head Scientologist, and his mother (‘cuz Cersei was supposed to be at the trial already) were burnt to a wildfire crisp, he would never have plunged out that window. She’s short sighted and not nearly as smart as she thinks she is.

    Dany – I don’t know anybody can stand against her. She’s got alliances, a fleet, and her dragons. Cersei ain’t got shit but her leather ‘fit, Qyburn & the Mount.

    Jon – theory confirmed. I knew it. There was no way they’ve spent all this time focusing on his character development & story for nothing. I just want him & Arya to see each other one more ‘gin. Hopefully he can hold off Littlefinger’s treachery long enough for that to happen…and to solidify his relationship with Sansa. What’s gonna happen when Jon & Dany team up? Whew Lordt!

    Lyanna Mormont – her bad ass cracks me UP. Shaded a room full of grown men. These women ain’t playin’ no games.

    Arya – straight gangsta. I’ve read other reviews where people are sad/worried about her soul. I ain’t. What else is the girl supposed to do? As far as she knows, her entire family is dead. If you can’t have family, vengeance is the next best thing. I can’t wait to see what happens when she finds out 2 of her siblings are still alive and at Winterfell.

    Ghost & Nymeria – where they at, tho’? Can we at least get a glimpse of the last 2 direwolves?

    • dawn July 1, 2016, 8:27 pm

      Thanks for saying exactly how I feel!

      When Arya murked Lord Frey, I swear I almost kicked over my cup of noodles and I was (mentally) running around, screaming and fist pumping! I need for her to find out that Jon and Sansa are very much alive so they can squad up.

      I still believe that the dire wolves play an important part in protecting the Stark kids and I’m hoping they don’t get forgotten.

      Jon + (Dany + Tyrion) = so much epic bad-assery. I’m most looking forward to this

  • Huntie June 29, 2016, 11:05 am

    Luvvie!!! GIRL! Your recaps are the reason why I can have a good day at a job that literally makes me want to do a hard lean out the window Tommen style! I can’t even read other recaps of this show on other blog sites cause they don’t say shit like “UGLASS” and “Unfuckwittable” that language gives me LIFE! I’m so sad to see Margaery go because she was hella dope in this show going toe to toe with Cersei but alas she didn’t make the cut. I was too happy to see the Head Scientologist go, he was too full himself. When he looked at Margaery in the Sept finally realizing he wasn’t as smart as he thought he was, I literally yelled at the screen “CHECKMATE BIOTCH!” Don’t ever come for the Queen when you ain’t nothing but a pawn in the game! I was glad they finally confirmed Jon as a Targaryen because all the tiptoeing around the subject was becoming tiresome. Next season is about to be that FIRE and I caint wait! Lady Olenna x Danaerys x Ellaria = Hella Shade + Wig Snatching! GIRL, I’m too geeked!

  • QueenD June 29, 2016, 11:12 am

    I don’t watch GoT (wimpy about the violence and gore), but I may have to rethink that decision. Luvvie’s recaps are the CliffNotes I didn’t know I needed. Always on point, funny as heck (‘CLEAN smooth criminal lean’ is an instant classic), and vividly written – I feel like I know what’s going on even though I have watched nary an episode. thx!

  • A Girl Has No Name June 29, 2016, 11:31 am

    And just what sort of mischief will the Red Woman encounter on her way south? Let’s think about this, right? Cuz she could go either way – total troublemaker, or huge asset. She could get in with Beric D and his band of Holy Rhollers. She could spread rumors about Winterfell and the Wall (most of it true). She might run into a very pissy Brienne of Tarth on her way back from Riverrun, and Brienne wants a piece of Melisandre in a bad way – not THAT way, but Brienne has no love for the woman that killed Renly. Or Melisandre might get past all that and become another fabulous addition to Cersei’s Palace of Evil. The Red Woman at the Red Keep? Sounds good. And of course, she might encounter Arya, but she would probably guess it was Arya. She’s got Rholler whispering in her ear. That might be a nastier fight for Arya.

    Then again Melisandre might be the one that tells Dany about what’s going on beyond the Wall. Or maybe it will be Sam Tarly. Afterall, our buddy Sam *does* have on of the few Valyrian, white-walker-shattering swords floating around. SO MANY WAYS THIS COUL GO.

    • dawn July 1, 2016, 8:29 pm

      Holy Rhollers! Ha! That tickled me. Well played ma’am

  • Brent Almond June 29, 2016, 11:32 am

    I LOL’ed HARD at your Smooth Criminal reference! But I was sad you didn’t liken Cerce’s fierce outfit to a hybrid of Rhythm Nation & Discipline. But the “Formation” line was killer, too.

    Now all she needs are some actual ladies to form her formation. I miss Margaery, too. She never would have lasted against Cerce, but they would have made a top notch pair of Mean Girls.

  • Ginger June 29, 2016, 11:36 am

    Tyrion as a Targaryen – I love that idea. And his scene with the dragons in their dungeon where they did NOT toasty fry him — that’s a clue of something for sure. I want to see him ride a dragon!!! Luvvie – your recaps are the BEST.

  • Maxine Shaw, attorney at LOL June 29, 2016, 11:45 am

    “Smooth criminal lean” is where I just LOST IT. I mean, I had to gather myself back together.

    I seem to remember another prophesy where it said Cersei would be killed by her younger brother? Jamie is five minutes younger, so he’s my guess. Sis ain’t gettin NO brotha peen no mo.

    The idea of Septa Unella at the hands of the Mountain is horrifying (her screams are blood-curdling), but when Cersei shut that window and started chanting, “Shame. Shame. Shame,” I went to Amazon to see if I could buy a bell.

    Finally, I’m going through some Mad Queen issues on my own (no innocents to die, tho), and I pray that I get what I deserve just so I can make a GIF of Cersei walking away with the Sept burning behind her.

    I know sand is the only thing that will extinguish wildfire…I wonder how long that shit is gonna burn?

    • paintgurl40 June 29, 2016, 2:53 pm

      There was an app on Google Play for that and it’s free. If it still exists.

  • NeddyB June 29, 2016, 12:12 pm

    Cersei got dressed like she was preparing to rule the Rhythm Nation, not the Seven Kingdoms.

  • blackberry molasses June 29, 2016, 12:15 pm

    there are some other things that are going to come into play next season that i can’t wait for

    1. the crown is still DEEP in debt to the Iron Bank of Braavos and they always get their due. usually by backing whoever opposes them (see: Stannis). Daenerys got her army without their help, but may need them if she has a run in with Euron before making it to King’s Landing. Cersei is kinda screwed because while she has the Lannister army, that’s all she has. she can’t hire any sellswords, Casterly Rock’s mines dried up years ago and now that she’s alienated the Tyrells and the Reach, the country is about to starve, she’s facing a war in the North and one in the South. her reign is not going to last and it will be terrible.

    2. Littlefinger is Lord Protector of the Vale and Lord Paramount of the Riverlands. Even though Walder Frey got Riverrun (and now doesn’t have it anymore), Littlefinger controls Harrenhal. he can throw a wrench in so many peoples’ plans to get what he wants and he will. He was probably trying to consolidate his power by marrying Sansa and becoming Warden of the North but he screwed himself by giving her to the Boltons.

    3. Will Bran still bearing the mark of the Night King bring an end to the Wall’s ability to keep the whitewalkers out? very likely. because how else will they get south for the War for the Dawn?

    I am too hype that the women are running shit. Remember when Missandei said to Daenerys “all men must die” and she said back “but we are not men”?

    • paintgurl40 June 29, 2016, 3:13 pm

      Good points. I had totally forgot about the Iron Bank! I know he’s not a main character, but the son in law that Frey had imprisoned again after “taking back” Riverrun is a wild card. He could either side with the Lannisters, or now that he and his family are free, side with the Starks. Plus we didn’t actually SEE his uncle die, so there’s that…he could be chilling in one of the food pantries.
      2. We still don’t know what happened to Robert’s other bastard son that got away.
      3. I need Tormund and Briene to fall in love. Jamie ain’t checking for her like that. Tormund on the other hand…
      4. Littlefinger could just try to marry Cersei next season. That’s the quicker way to the Iron Throne than marrying Sansa and dealing with Jon. I don’t think he really wanna get down with Jon.
      5. Melisandre is tired. I got the impression that she felt really bad about burning Shireen and still tripping on the fact that she was wrong as hell about Stannis. I think she’s so over everything.
      Anyway just my thoughts.

    • T June 29, 2016, 6:45 pm

      Re: #3 – I think so. The Night King could get into the protected area under the tree because Bran was in there bearing his mark. I figure it’s the same for the magic in the wall. Dany & her dragons are gonna be the salvation for them all. Not enough dragonglass to fight that army and definitely not enough Valyrian steel swords. I think there are just 2 left, right?

  • milaxx June 29, 2016, 12:25 pm

    I read somewhere that there will be 15 episodes total for both seasons 7 & 8. Knowing HBO my guess is one 10 ep season and 1 final 5 ep season.

    Somehow Bran has to meet up with everyone because as the 3 eyed raven he’s the only one who can confirm Jon’s parentage.

    I love that all the women were wearing black in this final episode. They are dressed for battle and mean business!

    I think Jaimie will become the Queenslayer and then take his own life. He already said he is so in love with Cersei he will do anything. However, burning everything down may be his limit.

    I worry for Arya. I think she has lost her humanity and is just a pure killing machine.

    I cannot wait for the final battle angainst the white walkers! That is going to be lit!

    • Klymoon June 30, 2016, 12:47 pm

      I am not sure Arya has completely lost her humanity. I say this because she had the opportunity to kill that actress lady but didn’t.

  • Ade June 29, 2016, 12:27 pm

    I read this whole thing while listening to The Light of thr Seven from the GOT soundtrack. Just made it sound more EPIC.

  • Brandy June 29, 2016, 2:14 pm

    When Cersei sat down on the throne I heard Big Freedia say “I did not come to play with you hoes, I came to slay, Bitch!”

  • Warrior Two June 29, 2016, 2:40 pm

    Jaime and Cersei are going down together. When he told Edmure all about how much he loved his sister, and watched Brienne sail away, and then he did some more evil shit. He’s tragic. He isn’t getting a happy ending. Either they’ll kill each other, or it’ll be murder-suicide, I’m calling it now.

    • RobW June 30, 2016, 10:34 am

      Jaime will do anything for Cersei; he has spoken and showed that level of commitment many times over. There’s no way he will harm her, even though he didn’t look to happy with her actions at King’s Landing. Both those fools are going to hell in the same hand-basket.

    • whilome June 30, 2016, 8:19 pm

      Well, the prophesy says, “When your tears have drowned you, the valonqar will choke your white neck.” The ONLY thing that could make Cersei cry at this point is losing Jamie.
      Jamie will die (or – yay – choose Brienne) and then the Hound will murk her ass. He’s a “little brother” to the Mountain and will be redeemed by killing the Mad Queen.

  • Monica June 29, 2016, 4:47 pm

    Amazing recap! This was an awesome season 6 and I can’t wait until next year for season 7 which will be shorter, nooooo!

  • aepva June 29, 2016, 4:50 pm

    I think Bran is going to screw up the King in the North thing by dropping the R+L=J bomb at the absolutist wrong time. Because Bran.

    Lyanna Mormont RULES.

    I upvote the Jaime kills Cersei prediction because it is so right. And full circle, Jaime kills a royal again. Oh and I want Tormund to get with Brienne. There, done.

    • dawn July 1, 2016, 8:34 pm

      Thought I was the only one who just knows that Bran is gonna mess some more stuff up. Major liability that kid is…

  • MsOdessa June 29, 2016, 7:59 pm

    So nobody’s gon say it?? Nobody’s gonna point out that weary looking old man that is Jon Snow as a baby? Oh. Ok. Lord he’s had troubles since day ONE! Those wrinkles in his baby forehead did not make themselves! He’s still boo bear though.

    • Nilly June 29, 2016, 9:58 pm

      LMAOOOO I’m glad you said it! Bc as soon as I saw that baby, lawd! It was like he came into the world and already knew the bullsh*t that was comin! 15 minutes old and already TAHD as hell lmao

    • Klymoon June 30, 2016, 12:51 pm

      LOL! I thought the same thing but felt kinda bad making fun of the baby. But I am glad you said it tho.

    • whilome June 30, 2016, 8:20 pm

      Yep. You called it.
      I was raised right, so I wasn’t gon mention, buuut….

      • MsOdessa July 4, 2016, 10:44 am

        I’ll take that Karmic L for everybody. Someone had to!

    • Suzette M. July 1, 2016, 10:31 pm

      Thank You! Jon was world weary from birth!

  • BellaRella June 29, 2016, 8:05 pm

    This just made me want to watch a 3rd time. The ironys this episode brought to light: Lady Stark is killed at the Red Wedding in the Freys dinning by a slit to the throat. Her daughter then kills Walder Frey in the same dinning hall by a slit to the throat

    Jamie pushed Bran Stark out of the window after catching him and Cersei bumping uglies…that set his powers into motion. Cersei power play that took out a section of her kingdom causes her own son to jump out of a window his death

    So who is next for some Stark karma? Ned had his head cut off and put on display…will that be Cerseis end? Or Jamies?

    Im so ready for season 7!! I may will the rest of this year away waiting on it!

  • J Wairimu June 30, 2016, 4:09 am

    Never have I ever been so invested in a show I gave up actually watching half way through Season one. I have successfully but with much obstacles managed to steer clear of any spoiler alerts as I waited for the Golden recap. Even had to Diss VSB for a few days so as not to run into Miss Littlefinger’s recap. This is one show the I follow religiously on paper because of you, well and Scandal. So kudos Luvvie and warm greetings from Nairobi. Asanti sana na Mungu akupe motisha wa kuendelea ( Thank you so much and may the Lord give you the psyke to continue )

  • RobW June 30, 2016, 10:42 am

    Hoe rule # 1: Get your money up front!

    I’m still mad that that hoe didn’t get her dollars from Maester Pycelle. You just fucked an old, stank breath (I’m assuming),saggy skinned man for free! And poor thing probably sitting around with her wet thighs wondering when he gonna come back to pay her. He ain’t coming back booboo–him dead!

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