#BLAXIT: More Things We’re Taking With Us If We Leave

This country is ungrateful as hell. You know good and damb well Black folks built this thing with our blood and sweat, literally. Now you wanna treat us like Starks at the Red Wedding and we do not appreciate it.

If we decided to peace out and make our Black Exit (BLAXIT) like Brexit, they’d be up shit’s creek. Ulysses Burley III wrote a piece on The Salt Collective called #BLAXIT: 21 things we’re taking with us if we leave. And well, it was fantastic and you gotta read it. We just have more things we need to take with us.

Ulysses correctly identified Beyonce, Oprah, Shonda, soul food and HeLa cells as 5 of those things. What and who else do we take with us in this BLAXIT? Well, my Facebook friends had a field day. Because if you can’t count on us for nothing else, you can ensure that our petty cup always runneth over.

What are we taking with us when we go to New Blaxica? Hella OnyxLand? Republic of Noir? Land of Sable?

#BLAXIT

Dianthe: Jesse Williams!!!! Don’t forget Jesse! Fine and woke! He’s mandatory!

Luvvie: Oh they’d give Jesse to us with no problem because they think he’s a troublemaker anyway. We need it to be people who would hurt their feelings.

Ty: He comes with the Shondaland Package.

Shatani: and Wayne Brady! i mean, we don’t necessarily need him, but they love him and i’m spiteful!

Luvvie: This is true. We don’t care about him but we know how much it’d hurt their feelings. So yeah.

Tracey: Jazz music, Little Richard, Dave Chapelle, Samuel Jackson and James Earl Jones

Little Richard yes God

Lena: I’m surprised Seasoning isn’t on the list. I guess that’s soul food…

Joan: Don’t forget seasoning and hot sauce. enjoy your bland food Merica

Elisha: The Allstate man!

Shatani: YES! Dennis Haysbert’s ole sexy behind! then they will REALLY have no black presidents! they’ll be stuck with Jamie Foxx and will BEG us to come back!

Melissa: Can we leave Wendy Williams???

Luvvie: Yes. We can. We ain’t taking her AT ALL. They can have her.

Briah: Leaving Stacy Dash too!

Adrianne: She’s too historically ignorant and thirsty to come with us.

Angela: Somebody go grab Mother Cicely Tyson. She getting old and she’s played every slave there ever was….she ought to be at the front of the line, along with James Earl Jones and Harry Belafonte.

Ontell: I’m taking Rock n Roll with me as well. Thats ours too

Luvvie: WE ARE TAKING THE BUTTERS WITH US. Shea AND Cocoa.

Their entire BEING gon be super dry!

Their entire BEING gon be super dry!

Shatani: Yessssssss!!!! Shea, cocoa, almond, peanut, and body butters!

Luvvie: YESSS to Peanut butter too. We did that!

Tira: WE TAKIN MACARONI AND CHEESE DAMMIT. Others don’t know what to do with it anydamnway. AND DAMMIT WE TAKIN’ BACON. BACON IS THE BACKBONE OF GLORY GREENS FLAVORING SINCE 1989!!!

Luvvie: We are also taking STYLE with us. YES. No more fashions and trends. And we are taking COOL SHIT. Why? B/c Black folks are the curators of cool.

Cee: Packs Denzel up.

Luvvie: WE ARE TAKING IDRIS ELBA. I don’t care that he isn’t American. We are taking him.

Yinka: And we are taking Luvvie too! No more #GOT recaps for y’all!

Luvvie: LET EM KNOW!

Cee: Takes all the children’s super soakers.

Ontell: that’s ours too

Tameka: We’re taking edges, boxer braids, Baby Hairs and Lemonheads. Give us free!

Nicole: They can keep Lauryn Hill’s late ass.

Luvvie: She gon be late for the bus to leave anyway. We can tell her what time we leaving and she’ll show up 4 hours late. So…

Lauryn Hill Wait

We got places to be and she just gon hold us up.

Shatani: the same thought occurred to me. we can TELL them we taking her…let them breathe a sigh of relief and be super mad when she still here and we gone

Ta-Tanisha: Traffic lights! Figure it out Merica!!

Tira: We takin’ ERRRRRRRRRRY damn Superbowl, NBA Finals, MLB Allstar Game and hell even damn WORLD CUP halftime/intermission performance because really…..if Mike Mike or Prince or Mary or Bey ain’t performing then I really don’t know what the hell we watchin it ‘fo. Shit even Bruno Mars too.

Courtney: The electric slide, the cha-cha slide, the Cupid shuffle…and yes the tush push is coming with us!!!! #NOMOLINEDANCINGFOYALL!

Luvvie: We are also taking GOOD tater salad with us.

Joan: And grits that’s coming too

Raven: We’re taking Flaming Hots and all the dill pickles that sit in jars at convenience stores…

Tiffany: We’re taking poetry, Big Mama, Jazz, Rap, and STAND UP COMEDY!

Tonya: Jesus. We’re taking Jesus.

Luvvie: Because HAIR OF WOOL.

Nneka: We should take cotton, since we’re the ones who picked and harvested that shit.

Luvvie: TRUE. Let em wear polyester AT ALL TIMES.

Crystal: Yesssssss no more duvets, sheets, thread counts

Bridget: If we’re taking drama and storytelling (and we should), that means we’re taking religion too, cause that’s how it all started…

Rachael: DON’T TAKE MY GUMBO AND MY CRAWFISH! I’LL BE GOOD

Reine: Nah sis Gumbo coming

Shatani: nope…you betta get ya friends! jambalaya is coming as well.

Luvvie: We are taking ALL black women so Kim Kardashian won’t know what to do when she wakes up.

Kara: Who will she copy now?!

Luvvie: WE ARE TAKING SERENA WILLIAMS! AND HER BAWSE ASS.

Serena Williams NYMag

Raven: We’re taking Stevie Wonder!!! Let them try to find music for their wedding receptions they can dance off beat to on their own! Ummm, Stevie’s style team can stay here though…Just sayin’.

Risee: We also taking Serena and Venus, Simone and Gabby, Usain, Yohan Blake, Mo Farah, fuck it we taking athletics! all of it! we are taking all knowledge of how to do awesome hair (good luck with them “boxer” braids and “cane” rows) and we are taking 90-year-old-fly-as-shit Cicely Tyson, Angela Basset, Tina Turner, Elise Neal and the fountain of youth.

Kedrin: Wait, we better be taking Morgan Freeman AND James Earl Jones. You get NONE of the velvety richness. Try another Star Wars without James if you want to.

Luvvie: We are taking Kevin Hart.

Shatani: yeah! who’s gonna be in your buddy film now, suckers?!?!

Melissa: We gotta take James Earl Jones, Cicely Tyson (cuz she stays woke), Tyler Perry (he got revenue), Neil Degrasse Tyson, all black pro athletes that know they black, cornbread, WD-40, and maybe RiteAid (cuz they carry more miscellaneous items than their competitors)…..

Luvvie: PACK EM UP!

Angela: We bringing back every black person that ever got killed in a horror movie and taking them. Rise up y’all. It’s a new day.

Barbara: We’re taking Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson & Lenny Kravitz. I know that they are biracial but I’m using the One Drop rule as case precedence.

Tiana: Dwayne was already coming. With me. In my bag.

Nicole: We are taking Uno, Spades, Bid Wist, Dominoes, Bingo, and Pokeno!!!!

spades

Lamar: We are taking Zoomba/Zumba and dropping it off near Brazil.

Cee: Takes all the traffic lights down

Linnyette: Peanut oil, vegetable oil and Crisco. Coming with us…so we can keep on frying up those GAWJEOUSLY golden and oh so crisply flavorful pieces of fried chicken, fried fish, fried ‘skrimps and other deliciousness.

Angela: We’re taking all the church lady hats. Nobody but old church mothers and Aretha Franklin know how to wear them anyway.

Tonja: We even taking the instructions/handbook for them to correctly clap on the 2 and 4.

Luvvie: WE ARE TAKING THE HOLY GHOST WITH US.

Jessica: Did anyone mention Viola Davis or Octavia? I feel as if they can’t be left behind

Nicole: You know Viola already on the bus

Ayoka: We are taking the terms “fa sho”, frfr , the fist bump, and house shoes. Just cause we can.

Gina: Can we reclaim Aunt Jemima and her various pancake and syrup recipes? Uncle Ben and all his rice? And the 11 herbs and spices that Colonel Sanders stole? Cause you know all that was stolen.

D’dra: We taking ALLLLLLLLLL the Jacksons *sits the “untalented” ones next to Wayne Brady since we only took them so THEY couldn’t have them*

Nicki: eff all the bs…we are takin TECH…FN…NOLOGY… COMPUTERS!! THATS RIGHT…COMPUTERS. cause dr. mark dean’s black arse owns 8 of the original pc patents. game over.

Shatani: PREACH! they wont even be able to get in touch once we leave.

Rachael: SHIT. All we have left is NASCAR, boiled meats and Conan O’Brien. :'( TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!


People talmbout we taking Samuel L. Jackson with us during #BLAXIT. NAWL! Sam is so Black, he went ahead of everyone to make sure the Republic of Noir is as Black as it can be.

PLAY WITH US IF YOU WANT TO, WHITE PEOPLE! We’re taking ALL this shit we brought/worked on/invented/created with us.

P.S. It seems we forgot to specify that the entire Obama family comes with us. It was just such a foregone conclusion that I didn’t think it needed to be stated. But you’re right. Barack, Michelle, Malia, Sasha, Granny Robinson. Shit, Bo and Sonny the dogs. THEY ARE ALLLLLLLL coming with us. We’re taking the White House with us too. That was built by black people.

P.P.S. Follow up post to this: My Melanin-Deficient Readers Respond to Negotiate Terms of #BLAXIT. <—- you need this in your life too. Because: shenanigans.

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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Cherisse July 11, 2016, 4:30 pm

    But we ARE NOT taking that frontin’ heaux Rachel Dolezal.

    • Kara July 11, 2016, 5:01 pm

      HELL no.

    • Portia July 11, 2016, 6:10 pm

      I am HOLLERING!!

    • K-Dizzle July 11, 2016, 6:44 pm

      But wait, she can do hair tho.

      • April July 11, 2016, 7:41 pm

        We have enough aunties and cousins who can do hair. We don’t need her!

    • May July 11, 2016, 7:46 pm

      We’re taking the Matrix (only the first one because the sequels were abominations of Sophia Stewart’s creation). And, we’re taking all the blue pills.#causewestaywoke

    • Li July 11, 2016, 8:33 pm

      She helped lol we can trade her for Stacey Dash!

    • Sylvia July 11, 2016, 10:15 pm

      You must have gone to Brown. Heaux? Love it!

    • Tina July 11, 2016, 11:14 pm

      Let’s bring Rachel but leave Raven Simone

      • Rai November 7, 2016, 11:58 am

        Yes Yes yes! Lets do it!

    • j July 12, 2016, 10:04 am

      Rachel will be happy to stay…. that’s her chance to represent.

    • Tonia Bair July 12, 2016, 12:43 pm

      I would take Rachel
      Dolezol over Dwyane Johnson. Why are black women always fawning over him? It’s clear from his movies and romantic choices he doesn’t like us!!

      • Deanna Ford July 12, 2016, 6:36 pm

        Thank you Tonia! He has yet to open his black mouth about any of these injustices perpetrated against people of color. Guess he don’t want to offend his white baby mama. Him and Michael Strahan!!! FOH😡

        • RonicaOne July 13, 2016, 6:11 am

          You need to read some of his interviews talking about growing up with his dad in the wrestling business. He knows the struggle. Pops was one of the few blacks getting work on the circuit back in the day. Getting paid, ripped off & getting robbed was just part of the mess. No place to stay except boarding homes because of his race. Y’all too young for the real deal. Old school lessons are in the DNA.

        • marylu July 13, 2016, 1:05 pm

          besides his movies are usually Disney funded so until he is in a flick with his own production direction and diversity…it’s hollywood.

        • BAVETTE ANDERSON July 24, 2016, 10:48 pm

          Half of the NFL week be left behind with their non-black spouses!
          And I’m loving the word Heaux!

      • A Rae July 14, 2016, 8:00 am

        In his defense, He was Janet jackson’s love interest in one of those Tyler perry movies lol

    • islandgal July 12, 2016, 12:54 pm

      And please leave Jesus behind. He was force unto you all

      • Shida July 12, 2016, 10:13 pm

        Nah we taking Jesus back the right way. Christianity came out of Ethiopia Not Europe you can look that up. You know they Turned EVERY Religion white all those old movies from Indiana to Prince of Arabia they all had white Characters I thought it was obvious by now that they stole that from a part of Africa.

      • roan July 13, 2016, 7:12 pm

        true dat!

    • Jocelyn Butler July 12, 2016, 1:18 pm

      Why not? I literally don’t understand the shade thrown at her. Yes, the woman is mental, but she openly loved and embraced black culture and actually LIVED as a Black woman. She didn’t just take the good and go ghost when the shit hit the fan. She took it all! And, you can’t even say she did it for a job or for money because she embraced the culture while she was in school. She married a Black man and she has black children. So, yes the woman lied. But damn it she was willing to embrace Blackness in its entirety and fight to make it better. What’s the beef?

      • Lynn July 13, 2016, 9:02 am

        Agreed!

    • Shara July 12, 2016, 6:09 pm

      And they can keep Raven Simone….she doesn’t think she’s black anyways!

  • Hotcheri July 11, 2016, 4:30 pm

    Don’t forget all of the MLK, Malcom X and Tupac quotes! Because y’all know they love to quote some MLK to show how “down” they are lol. Great list 😂

    • mariela July 11, 2016, 5:13 pm

      and those MLK love quotes they love to quote only to benefit their white supremacist agenda and try to pacify somebody.

      • DrCandy July 12, 2016, 2:08 am

        Preach!

  • Trisha July 11, 2016, 4:31 pm

    Taking all the useful things we either invented or invented its predecessor: pacemakers, video game consoles, 3d film technology, and ELEVATORS. Especially have fun with no elevators and taking the stairs everywhere when y’all ain’t got pacemakers too.

    • Casey July 11, 2016, 5:12 pm

      BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH #TeamSuuuuuuuperPetty

    • Denisha July 11, 2016, 5:56 pm

      Girl I’m dead, you hear me, dead!!!

    • Lana July 11, 2016, 6:06 pm

      PETTY WAP. #hereforyou

    • Stacey July 11, 2016, 9:12 pm

      Petty and hilarious. I love you Trishia

    • Kiyona Hubbard July 11, 2016, 9:23 pm

      You evil….. **** grabs boxes to pack above items****

    • Lyse July 11, 2016, 9:39 pm

      BWAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!😄😄😂

    • URStupid July 11, 2016, 10:42 pm

      You didn’t invent any of that…you all are so desperate to list stuff you’re going to start listing things you’ve purchased…or heck…heard about.

      “we invented the atom bomb”

      • Shaen July 11, 2016, 11:30 pm

        Read you lice carrier, scented of dog! Read about Black inventions you devil. A Jew invented the bomb you lassie smelling, tick host. We built America. Just read for 40 minutes and you will be surprised of the lies you and your fellow skin.cancer victims have been embracing. Now run along eau de Fido

        • Maria Holt July 12, 2016, 11:19 am

          Shaen, you gone pay for my funeral or nah? *DEAD!*

        • adenxyz July 12, 2016, 7:48 pm

          Bwahahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahahh!!!!!####

        • Juliet July 13, 2016, 12:16 am

          @Shaen PREEEEACH!!!

        • shemp hardy July 13, 2016, 2:33 am

          The bitch wanna think all our inventions are theirs originally, like they really think this land was theirs first.

        • Mickey July 13, 2016, 11:26 am

          I’m done! 😂😂😂😂

      • Trisha July 12, 2016, 12:59 am

        Your username should be “I’m Stupid” because you really ought to pick up a book and read.

        I full and well said either invented the items…or their predecessors. Was “predecessor” too big of a word for you? Next time we’ll keep it to 2 syllables max.

      • TheScienceL July 12, 2016, 1:53 pm

        Why TF are you even reading this post? Oh I know why….to see what else you can steal and claim..ok troll on.

        • RonicaOne July 13, 2016, 6:20 am

          Cosign. Blacks couldn’t get patents and copy writes so whites were used to get the paperwork. Then their material was appropriated in so many stories our grand folks told.
          Too many whites need to figure out life about economics always. Poor was poor and black & whites did cohabit and struggle together. There were town marriages and other side of the blanket families. Most of the truly vocals can’t trace their family line too far without stumbling over a mulatto relative. That bunch will be looking to get their cards punched for this party bus. We might need to rethink the one drop rule.

    • WB July 12, 2016, 12:52 pm

      traffic lights (Garrett Morgan)

      • Euenius July 13, 2016, 12:24 pm

        You sure Garrett Morgan didn’t just patent them? Are you certain traffic lights weren’t first invented by J.P. Knight, a white British railway engineer?

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._P._Knight

        • Dee July 19, 2016, 5:19 pm

          Next you will say Eli Whitney didn’t invent the cotton gin for your pilfering professional ancestors. Yes J.P. Knight invented the first traffic light, Garrett Morgan invented you know the three position traffic light. Go figure with only a sixth grade education that black man created stuff white folks use today.
          FYI: Garret Morgan also invented the gas mask so when those atom bombs you’re claiming credit for are used, good luck on shielding your faces because we’re taking those too.

        • Tina Beanie August 12, 2016, 7:14 pm
    • SandyWrites July 12, 2016, 2:42 pm

      Holla! We have to take the fridge and air-conditioning. McKinley invented that, and I’m accustomed to those amenities.

    • PernRider December 17, 2016, 3:09 am

      White chick weighing in (and cracking up!)

      If y’all are trying to take back all the things that blacks contributed to society, and leave white folks like me with…whatever else…

      Can you please please please NOT take MY washing machine? I mean, if I’m not mistaken it was invented by a black man…but I do need it, with three girls in the house! That’s a lot of clothes to do by hand!

      I swear I not only didn’t vote for Trump, I spoke out as often as possible against him, with as many facts as I could, before the election. So please can I keep my washer?

  • Denise July 11, 2016, 4:34 pm

    Don’t forget we are taking all the whiskey, since Jack Daniels finally after 150 years admitted that a Black man was behind all of that.

    • Euenius July 13, 2016, 12:26 pm

      “The first confirmed written record of whisky in Ireland comes from 1405, in the Irish Annals of Clonmacnoise, which attributes the death of a chieftain to “taking a surfeit of aqua vitae” at Christmas.”

      I didn’t know the Irish were black.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whisky#History

  • Denise July 11, 2016, 4:35 pm

    Don’t forget all the whiskey since Jack Daniels after 150 years admits that a Black man was responsible for all that.

  • Andrea July 11, 2016, 4:40 pm

    Ironing boards and refrigerated trucks are coming as well. They wearing polyester so it might not make much difference but I want them to think about it when try to iron some Lin-

    Wait!! Linen short sets are coming with us.

    Ungrateful asses can have rotten food and wrangler jeans

    • Cherisse July 11, 2016, 4:50 pm

      Oh no, jeans is cotton and we taking every scrap we ever picked! They can wear Jantzens ’til they crotches rot.

      • Tonia July 11, 2016, 6:10 pm

        Madam, I am through with you……bwaahaaa!!!!

      • K. Marsh July 11, 2016, 9:41 pm

        I am dying!!!!

      • Mary July 11, 2016, 10:24 pm

        Oh no! Without my cotton panties I’ll be having yeast infections all the time!! Please let keep a few pairs… Better yet-take me with you! If Trumpf is elected I won’t want to live here anyway.

        • Renee M. July 12, 2016, 12:11 am

          Yeast infections are the devil. You may submitt your application for approval.

        • BRWNSKN July 13, 2016, 12:31 pm

          Yeeeeeesssssssssss

    • Awesomely Luvvie July 11, 2016, 9:51 pm

      Linen short sets FOR SURE gotta come with us. What else will our uncles wear for the picnics we’ll have?

    • Nadine Phillips July 12, 2016, 10:57 am

      Lmao!!!! I think it’d be easier if the racist white people were packed up and sent somewhere. It’d be LESS work!

      • Maria Holt July 12, 2016, 11:23 am

        I’m enjoying the Petty on steroids here, but ultimately that is the answer for me. Stolen people on stolen land. I say we stay, they go!

      • Shida July 12, 2016, 10:30 pm

        They are supposed to going to Mars I wish they would make it happen what’s the hol’up!!

        • V Blackmanson July 13, 2016, 4:46 pm

          No other planet in the known Universe wants them

  • Kay July 11, 2016, 4:41 pm

    Tap dancing. Though I’ll be sad if you take it.

  • Lee Sisk July 11, 2016, 4:41 pm

    Truly enjoyed this. Curious though as to why none of the Obama’s are on the list?

    • Cherisse July 11, 2016, 4:51 pm

      They driving.

      • Melody July 11, 2016, 4:56 pm

        BAHAHAHHA!!!! I’m done! LOL!

      • Lee Sisk July 11, 2016, 5:04 pm

        Of course! Must have been really day dreaming!

      • Ajahmure C July 11, 2016, 6:32 pm

        Lmao!!

      • Villago Delenda Est July 11, 2016, 6:57 pm

        /highfive

      • TJ July 12, 2016, 1:53 am

        I died! “Here lies TJ”

      • Janekey July 12, 2016, 11:11 pm

        Hooray the WINNET for best comments

      • Shema July 13, 2016, 5:16 pm

        Cherisse, you win! bows down while I exit.

    • Sylvia July 11, 2016, 10:23 pm

      1make sure to read the end. The Obama said AND the White House are coming.

    • BRWNSKN July 13, 2016, 12:37 pm

      You haven’t read the aforementioned list…maybe we need to ad pictures. {{Contrary to your beliefs}}

  • Melody July 11, 2016, 4:43 pm

    THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I’VE READ IN A VERY LONG TIME!!!!

    You and your friends are crazy and I LOVE it! LOLLL!!!!!!

  • K July 11, 2016, 4:45 pm

    I know y’all are taking Lenny (sadface), but can we at least borrow Slash from time to time?

    *leaves work early to go home and hoard grits*

    • JerzeeGurl July 11, 2016, 5:28 pm

      Nawl we taking him too. Whether he wants to come or not

      • Carla July 11, 2016, 5:49 pm

        His mama black… That whole drop of blood theory!

    • Portia July 11, 2016, 6:14 pm

      Hilarious! We love Slash

    • Stacey July 11, 2016, 9:15 pm

      Not hoarding grits though. *weak*

    • Conchettathebeautiful July 11, 2016, 10:18 pm

      Lmaooooo at hoarding grits! Good night! 😂😂😂

  • Melissa Good July 11, 2016, 4:48 pm

    You can take it all as long as you leave us Daveed Diggs because, for real, damn…😍

    • Honey Sanaa July 11, 2016, 6:00 pm

      Hell No. Daveed is packing bags and reminding Lin Manual and Rafael Casal that our brown brethren are meeting us where we are going.

    • DeeDee July 12, 2016, 10:18 pm

      Fuck that. Daveed comin with me and ima give him the deep conditioning treatment of his LIIIIIFE. You hear me? LIIIIIFFEEEEE!!!

  • Veruca Salt July 11, 2016, 4:49 pm

    Will y’all please leave us the box mac & cheese with the powder mix?

    • TK July 11, 2016, 5:32 pm

      Bwahhhhhhh!!!

      • Veruca Salt July 11, 2016, 6:09 pm

        Look, my kids need food they can make themselves while their lazy ass mama is in her nightgown on the sofa screwing around on Facebook and watching true crime documentaries. Y’all at least gotta let us keep the little microwave mac & cheese cups.

        • k.marsh July 11, 2016, 9:43 pm

          You are a mess…..lol

    • Portia July 11, 2016, 6:16 pm

      This has my stomach hurting! 😂

    • Awesomely Luvvie July 11, 2016, 9:53 pm

      We can consider it.

    • j July 12, 2016, 10:09 am

      Yeah… you can have that… We are taking the real stuff…

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:14 pm

      Veruca Salt?! Love it!!! Huge Willy Wonka fan over here 🙂 Or did it come from the band with the same name?

      • Kim July 13, 2016, 12:19 pm

        I think the band is named after the girl, so… either way 🙂

    • Janekey July 13, 2016, 10:59 pm

      Approved but ain’t no butter.

  • Kay July 11, 2016, 4:49 pm

    HENRIETTA LACKS. That’s right. We’re taking CANCER RESEARCH…
    #itallbelongstoUS #eachandeveryCELL #bye

    • TeeJay July 11, 2016, 4:59 pm

      Yes!!!!!! This!!!!

    • Lanee July 11, 2016, 5:01 pm

      This!!

    • Mrs. O July 11, 2016, 8:01 pm

      Yassssss! And she’ll know that her cells will help millions of people.

    • Kim July 13, 2016, 12:20 pm

      That book was SO GOOD.

  • Berlena July 11, 2016, 4:51 pm

    Taking plasma, dryers, ironing boards and every other shit we vented.

  • Michelle July 11, 2016, 4:58 pm

    Well if all the black people go then we Asians will follow. And we’ll take the noodles. Udon, chow fun, ramen, linguine, spaghetti all of it. No noodles for ‘merica.

    • Kara July 11, 2016, 5:03 pm

      Bless you. I’d miss pho and kimchi and sushi…

    • Kam July 11, 2016, 5:08 pm

      This right here!! LMAO
      I need my brown brothers and sisters in this relocation as well. They don’t deserve tortillas, beans, tacos, or anything they bought either!

      • GDavila July 13, 2016, 2:33 am

        Woo-hoo! that means I get to go too! Imma a flourescent chica-but married me a brown one and had some babies- so for 9 months x’s 5 I had at least a little Mexican in me!

    • Phill July 11, 2016, 5:11 pm

      They gonna be mad about udon.

    • Imani July 11, 2016, 5:13 pm

      YASSS Girl! Go ahead and take it all back! Take the chopsticks, take the kimonos, take the anime and manga, take yoga (for y’all who don’t know, India is an Asian country), martial arts, and every damn thing that says “made in China”. Let them figure that shit out.

    • ADMM July 11, 2016, 5:15 pm

      Can we share custody of Eddie Huang from Huang’s World? Cause it’s like he’s both of ours.

      • Mobaygurl July 12, 2016, 2:36 am

        Love Eddie Huang!
        And yes, he needs special consideration, a green card maybe?

    • Sacred July 11, 2016, 5:51 pm

      OH poop! Yes! ASIANS, HISPANICS, ALL ORIGINAL PEOPLE! YAS!

      • ~CDA July 11, 2016, 11:33 pm

        Don’t forget the Aborigines and our Native Americans, Hawaiians, and ALL original peoples indeed!

        • PernRider December 17, 2016, 3:17 am

          Okay, now this is getting out of hand.

          Why take the Native Peoples?!

          Seriously, it makes a helluva lot more sense, at this point, from a purely logistics standpoint, if all the black, brown, and whatever other colored people STAY…

          And you just put all the damned RACIST WHITES onto a boat (with or without holes, I give no fucks frankly…) and ship THEM out to sea!

          I mean, thinking logically now…

          (If we’re going one drop, I’m staying put, even if I DO have to go back five or six generations for my African ancestry…I only need three for my Mexican heritage!)

    • Portia July 11, 2016, 6:18 pm

      MICHELLE!! LMAO

    • Anita July 11, 2016, 6:27 pm

      Asians are for sure following the crowd out the door!! We’re taking back bindis, threading, half the medical professionals and engineers, most of Silicon Valley, and LEAVING the Simpsons’ half-ass Apu accent. Enjoy your messy eyebrows.

      • Stacey July 11, 2016, 9:18 pm

        #nochill right here. The eyebrow game is gonna be HORRID

        • Abby July 11, 2016, 11:53 pm

          I just cackled. Loud.

        • Nadine Phillips July 12, 2016, 11:04 am

          Shit the vagina and nail games are going to be horrid! Take away Brazilian waxes and manis and pedis done by ming ling.

    • Jenet July 11, 2016, 7:12 pm

      Yes, please make arrangements. I need ramen and poke bowls!

    • Awesomely Luvvie July 11, 2016, 9:53 pm

      YES. Solidarity. Take ALL them noodles back!

    • Mary July 11, 2016, 10:30 pm

      Might as well kill me now, no sushi? I can’t breathe! Please can I come with you?

    • CWillz July 12, 2016, 12:35 am

      Shyt..we MADE Asians too! There is no race on this earth that we didn’t make,

      but since white people want us gone so bad…

      • Judy July 12, 2016, 10:51 am

        If we’re talking POC solidarity, then there goes sugar, coffee, tea and caffeine. Gives a whole new meaning to ‘stay woke.’

    • Kei July 12, 2016, 11:07 am

      Lmao!!! Yes my asian sista. Can I get a plate to go?

    • Deja July 12, 2016, 11:55 am

      Don’t forget the mani/pedi/wax & threading… all of it.

    • Tom July 12, 2016, 1:27 pm

      Can you take your driving skills with you? Would be much appreciated.

  • Ruby July 11, 2016, 5:00 pm

    We are taking quilts because we started that and my great-great-great grandparents can concur. Try to stay warm without a great quilt and since we have cotton you won’t have comforters either. In the words of P-Diddy take that

  • Nik July 11, 2016, 5:01 pm

    If we’re taking cotton, we’re taking sugar and coffee too, because truth says our ancestors were harvesting them in the Caribbean and Brazil. We’re also taking one of their favorite parenting bloggers, Honest Toddler. She opened up about how she was feeling last week and the butt hurt was too real.

    • Ashley July 11, 2016, 5:30 pm

      If you take sugar….there goes the rum!

      • Nik July 11, 2016, 5:41 pm

        Boom! And corporate America can’t function without coffee.

        • Nadine Phillips July 12, 2016, 11:07 am

          That’s okay cause we’re taking coffee beans with so they won’t have to worry about that!

    • Courtney July 12, 2016, 7:39 am

      Dont forget Tobacco too!

      Malboro gonna be tight…..

  • allisonj July 11, 2016, 5:02 pm

    Must take Bob Marley and all associateId acts. That’s Exodus for real.

    • TK July 11, 2016, 5:34 pm

      Lmao!

    • Nik July 11, 2016, 5:36 pm

      Reggae music. Full stop, lol

    • les917 July 12, 2016, 12:00 am

      Uh oh. No Bob?! What will All the frat boys, slackers and poseurs listen to??? College dropout rates will soar to like 108%!!! Speaking of “college dropout” we MUST pack up Kanye and all of his catalogue pre-Kimye!!! Non-freaking-negotiable.

  • Trinka Polite July 11, 2016, 5:04 pm

    I’ve only read half of this list.. Took a break to breathe! ROFLMBO #weak

  • SistaGurl July 11, 2016, 5:08 pm

    Don’t forget cell phones, that’s ours too!

    • Jackster727 July 11, 2016, 10:06 pm

      We also invented traffic lights (Garrett E. Morgan from Paris, KY), so let’s take those, too!

  • Ulysses III July 11, 2016, 5:10 pm

    I love it.

  • Cherisse July 11, 2016, 5:11 pm

    Ooh, and we taking Quincy Jones and they can play “Chicken in the Straw” ’til their ears bleed.

    • Tonia July 11, 2016, 6:14 pm

      Tears are rolling!!!!! Not Chicken in the Straw!!!!!

  • DancinSnarky July 11, 2016, 5:13 pm

    Taking Michael Jackson alone will mess up 50% of pop music.

    • Awesomely Luvvie July 11, 2016, 9:54 pm

      This is fact.

    • Gwen July 12, 2016, 6:12 am

      and taking Prince will mess up the other half….gee what are they going to do? lol

      • Lauren July 13, 2016, 11:55 pm

        I don’t know because I say we claim any music that sampled ours. Just saying RUN THAT!

  • Mrs. Moultrie July 11, 2016, 5:15 pm

    Say what you want, but I’m bringing ALL the Mary Jane! ALL OF IT!! We seem to be the only ones going to jail for it so *minus well*

    • JerzeeGurl July 11, 2016, 5:30 pm

      Listen……

    • TK July 11, 2016, 5:35 pm

      Boom

    • Ajahmure July 11, 2016, 6:30 pm

      😂😂😂😂😂

  • Ontell July 11, 2016, 5:20 pm

    umm Lightbulbs …we takin those too

  • Dinah July 11, 2016, 5:22 pm

    You know the Obamas got a case of the senioritis anyway…

    Other things I would miss: Motown music, funk music, basically all danceable bass lines… basically all the good music; Marvel’s upcoming Black Panther movie (you’re fools if you don’t take Chadwick Boseman); Trevor Noah & Larry Wilmore; Morgan Freeman & his velvety voiceovers; all the good food; Leslie Jones.

    In conclusion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bxjNZYR64g

    • Awesomely Luvvie July 11, 2016, 9:55 pm

      Chadwick is sitting next to me. So yeah. He is coming.

      • TJ July 12, 2016, 12:02 am

        Chad went to Howard, he already on the bus.

      • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:19 pm

        I don’t often (if ever) disagree with you. But on this one thing, I must.

        Chadwick is sitting next to me. (“Hello, Barbara? This is Shirley…”)

        • Sam July 15, 2016, 2:36 am

          Hello Barbara this is Shirley!!!! Yes classic soul. Yo go girl!

        • jada harris July 20, 2016, 1:04 pm

          You win

    • Jeannette July 13, 2016, 7:13 am

      Lmao at the song!

  • SIPort July 11, 2016, 5:22 pm

    I needed this. Hilarious. We’re taking the entire cast of Hamilton, and Lin Manuel Miranda. Let them find the next phase of American Musical Theater.

    We are taking the Masters of every song written or recorded by someone Black. Wanna listen to it? PAY UP.

    Sigh…. I needed this Luvvie. Thank you.

    • Z July 12, 2016, 9:25 am

      We’re also taking the original Alexander a Hamilton with is to New Blaxico just because. He was West Indian anyway so it counts!

  • Tisha July 11, 2016, 5:23 pm

    Can we take coconut oil too, cause two-strand twists, and no ashy skin is important.

    • Nik July 11, 2016, 5:53 pm

      Can JBCO work? Because we’re taking that before they find out about it

    • Veruca Salt July 11, 2016, 6:17 pm

      WAIT!! My blonde haired blue eyed freckled daughter needs coconut oil for her hair. At least tell me what she can use instead. Don’t leave me with a teenager who weeps every day because she can’t get her hair right.

      • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:23 pm

        Veruca, girl…I’m taking your request to the committee meeting. I’m going to put in a special request for you and your daughter to be on the bus with us. No promises though.

  • Dannette M. July 11, 2016, 5:24 pm

    Do we take Don Lemon too, just to be petty (since they like him) and just make him push the bus?

    • JerzeeGurl July 11, 2016, 5:32 pm

      AJFKLJFOIDSJIODJDF Make him push the bus?!??! sjjsjsjsjsjsjsjsj

    • ChandlerH July 11, 2016, 6:20 pm

      Hail no! I knew Don when he was in college and he wasn’t black then!

      • Bklynorchid July 11, 2016, 9:04 pm

        This took me out. Yup. I’m dead. Lmao.

      • TJ July 12, 2016, 1:59 am

        😩😩😩😩😩😩

    • Portia July 11, 2016, 6:27 pm

      Danette where do you live so I can come punch you! LMAO

      • Dannette M. July 11, 2016, 7:11 pm

        LOL. We just gonna make Don Lemon THINK he’s coming. We leaving him and Ben Carson’s ass right the fvck here! Let’s scoop up Whoopi though. Her black ass comes through for us when the chips are down.

        • ADMM July 12, 2016, 8:31 am

          Yaaass! Mama Whoopi has to come, she gets a seat in the front. Along with Jenifer Lewis so she can see folk.

          Don Lemon’s azz stays here, since he capes for them so much. Tell him the wrong greyhound station 2 days later. He can’t come.

          What we going to do with Michael Steele? I think he now knows he is black because the Repubs sho’nuff made sure he knew.

    • VegChef July 11, 2016, 10:24 pm

      No! Don stays!!!

  • Jenn July 11, 2016, 5:24 pm

    We taking pretty much all the nice things in the NoVa/D.C. Metro area….The White House, The Capitol Building, Monticello, Mt Vernon…you know, all the things the ancestors constructed. Also, all the fine craftsmanship in the Louisiana plantation/B&B circuit, we get all of that in the divorce, I mean Blaxit.

    The new Blacktroplis gon’ be lit AND architecturally on fleek!

  • Dianne July 11, 2016, 5:25 pm

    All pound cake recipes. Thank you.

  • Michelle July 11, 2016, 5:27 pm

    We’re taking Black visual artists too: Kadir Nelson, Kimmie Cantrell, Larry “Poncho” Brown, Kara Walker, Kehinde Wiley, Charles Bibbs, ALL OF THEM. Black writers too: Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Rachel Howzell, Hall, Tananarive Due, Tina McElroy Ansa, ALL OF THEM, too!

  • EB July 11, 2016, 5:29 pm

    Nobody said Barak, Michelle and the girls! Come on on Potus and Flotus. You will be in rule forever as we Blexit!
    Food we should take cornbread, kool-aid, stuffing, neckbones, every leafy green a neckband can go in, red velvet and pound cake but leave behind Diabetes and sickle cell. They can have that $/&t!
    Last but note less we taking the sun because half of them can’t tan and the other half burn!

    • Xian July 12, 2016, 12:13 am

      But we takin insulin, because, you know, Percy Julian.

  • Kurlgirl July 11, 2016, 5:30 pm

    We are taking the drugs. The medical ones. Especially their bieth control, steroids, and testosterone. Cuz without Dr. Julian’s work…they’d have a real hard time with synthesis….so enjoy y’all.

    • Nik July 11, 2016, 5:40 pm

      Modern Gynecology because they experimented on black slave women.

    • PernRider December 17, 2016, 3:28 am

      You can’t take birth control, if anyone claims that it’s Puerto Rican women. They’re the ones who were experimented on in its early days, including many who were sterilized by early versions, without their knowledge or consent.

      But if you’re taking any and all brown people with you anyway, I guess the point is moot…

  • Bianca July 11, 2016, 5:31 pm

    We have to take the President and his family with us. Michelle can keep us fit and help grow our garden while Barack makes dad jokes all day.

  • Ronnie July 11, 2016, 5:33 pm

    We’re taking blood banks and and blood transfusions with us.

    • ADMM July 12, 2016, 8:32 am

      Thank you Dr. Charles Drew!!!! Yes we are taking his work as well with us

  • Tanya July 11, 2016, 5:37 pm

    CELL PHONES cuz we invented that too!!!! Now who you gonna call???

    • Kiyona July 11, 2016, 9:32 pm

      Ghost busters??? No wait we taking that too. Just cuz Ray Parker Jr sang it

      • Janekey July 12, 2016, 11:18 pm

        Petty on steroids… LMFAO

  • Marianne Wardle July 11, 2016, 5:37 pm

    Heavens, I think us white people are down to dried peas and smallpox.

    • Dannette M. July 11, 2016, 5:48 pm

      “Dried peas and smallpox.” LOL Naw, y’all can have…Tofurky. Nobody likes that mess. Wait, nope it’s made with tofu and the Asians might be coming along, so… Damn, y’all ain’t gonna have $hit.

      • SALTY BLACK GIRL July 11, 2016, 11:53 pm

        We don’t want nobody but us.. keep your LLAG. BLOOP

    • Cherisse July 11, 2016, 6:44 pm

      Cheer up sweetie, y’all still got Nascar.

    • JanuaryBabe July 11, 2016, 7:01 pm

      Lol! Way too funny!!!!

    • Janimal July 11, 2016, 8:49 pm

      I think we still have Macklemore. But he’ll be all confused.

    • Awesomely Luvvie July 11, 2016, 9:57 pm

      LMAO!!!

    • Conchettathebeautiful July 11, 2016, 10:17 pm

      I just fell out!!! 😂😂😂😂

    • Jenny July 12, 2016, 11:01 am

      Y’all can definitely keep Green Bean Casserole.
      Looks like runny baby poo anyway!
      Thanksgiving is gonna be blander than Lawrence Welk.

    • Shida July 12, 2016, 10:41 pm

      Well you can’t cook anyway…. and it’s ironic you said smallpox….just don’t use them to murder more Indian ‘ s AGAIN 😒

  • Tanya July 11, 2016, 5:38 pm

    And sorry for the ladies who are left behind, but we’re taking pap smears too cuz…..well, it was a Black doctor who created that procedure.

    • so not true! July 12, 2016, 1:58 am

      Now, come on. Don’t be stealing things from the Greeks. It’s called a Pap smear because the inventor was Georgios Papanikolaou. You already have so much other good stuff…

      • Ms QT Pie July 12, 2016, 9:09 pm

        Dr Papanikolaou may have invented the pap smear but the modern day speculum was invented by Marion Sims and he developed it by experimenting on slave women and girls in a makeshift hospital with no anesthesia. IT COMES WITH US!

    • TheScienceL July 12, 2016, 2:11 pm

      Ok maybe we didn’t invent it but were going to claim it and take it anyway because were taking “gully’ with us too.

  • K.L. Brady July 11, 2016, 5:39 pm

    Don’t forget the half of The White House that slaves built. We’ll just cut it down the middle and take the West Wing…with Obama in it. LOL

  • Smug Singleton July 11, 2016, 5:40 pm

    Did anyone say Taye Diggs?

    • ChandlerH July 11, 2016, 6:08 pm

      They can keep Taye’s ol good looking, shiny tooth azz. He’s culturally confused, still trying to find himself.

      • Melissa July 11, 2016, 7:04 pm

        No. No Taye Diggs!!! Don Lemon is more than enough.

    • Nonolove July 12, 2016, 11:16 am

      I haven’t seen Maya Angelou on here yet. Dig her bones up…taking her, all of her works and quotes.

      • Lizette July 12, 2016, 10:05 pm

        Oh noooooooo! I’m DOOMED, DOOMED, I tell ya! I’m hangin’ on to Maya Angelou……. and Seal, and Langston Hughes, and John Coltrane, and Muhammad Ali, and everyone else groovy you haven’t dug up like a zombie. Jeez!

  • Sabrina July 11, 2016, 5:44 pm

    We’re taking ALL the tanning machines! No pretend melanin for you!!!

    • Ajahmure C July 11, 2016, 6:35 pm

      Bwwwaaaahhhhh

  • Nickharlem July 11, 2016, 5:53 pm

    As far as late ass Lauren Hill…I mean she can come but I’m sure the bus will leave her because she was waiting on her chakras to align or some ish….leave her ass a bunch of transfers and we’ll leave the light on at the new utopia.

    • Mobaygurl July 12, 2016, 2:46 am

      Love this ^^

  • Denise July 11, 2016, 5:56 pm

    On our list of left behinds….Sallie Mae and all her evil cousins…cause the student loans folk will find you—no matter where you go…..saggy pants… The cousins who always bring nothing to family gatherings, but make to go boxes for several family members at home….

  • Tiffany July 11, 2016, 6:00 pm

    Heart surgery, heart transplants, any kind of coronary implement. It’s coming…..

    • TiffanyIsAnIdiot July 11, 2016, 10:33 pm

      None of which you invented…lol

      • Takesonetoknow July 12, 2016, 1:36 pm

        No but the 1st succesful open heart surgery was done by a black doctor (Dr. Daniel Williams). Also, it was a black man who paved the way in understanding how to store blood (Dr. Charles Drew) which led to the creation of modern blood banks now used

        • Janekey July 12, 2016, 11:29 pm

          Come with knowledge

      • Sam July 15, 2016, 2:41 am

        And now you have exposed yourself as both uneducated and bigoted. Leave Tiffany alone and go be miserable somewhere else.

  • Camelita July 11, 2016, 6:05 pm

    Can we take Texas Pete? I gotta have something for my greens and chicken.

    • Kiyona July 11, 2016, 9:56 pm

      I got it packed up already sis. It’s in the box that says **ALL HOT SAUCE**

      • K July 12, 2016, 9:46 am

        Someone’s going to have to pry my Cholula from my pale dead hands.

  • ChandlerH July 11, 2016, 6:07 pm

    We’re taking blood and boxer brief draws, because can’t nobody but a brother wear the hail outta those and Charles Drew’s peeps ‘gon get his. They better start sucking them wounds dry. And I’m taking grits! Butter’s already gone, what they need the girts for except to throw ’em at poor Toby/Kunta Kinte.

  • Pamela July 11, 2016, 6:07 pm

    We takin 2 way calling, super soaker and open heart surgery! #BishWhet

  • Chevonne July 11, 2016, 6:09 pm

    Wait wait wait. Is this really necessary? Can’t we just send all the racist assholes to the whitest place on earth….the Arctic circle? I’m sure once other white people get a look at how craptastic this country would be without black scientists, artists, writers, musicians, philosophers, athletes, doctors, chefs, designers, and just some cool ass people you meet along the way…. I’m sure they’ll all sign the petition to ship out the racists! :’)

    • Hills July 11, 2016, 7:28 pm

      Hmm, I just got off a phone call with the Polar Bear Association of the North Pole and they roundly rejected that move. The Penguin Caucus of Antarctica said, “Don’t even think about it.”

      • TJ July 12, 2016, 2:03 am

        #Flatlined

      • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:31 pm

        LOL!!! Not the Caucus, though!?! LOL!!!!

        Let us, maybe/perhaps, consider a visitation program whereby people with sense can vacation in NoirLand. Maybe? Perhaps?

        Think of the tourism dollars we can raise. That would eliminate the need for all those church bake sales you know someone will try to start.

      • Janekey July 12, 2016, 11:22 pm

        Hills!!!!!!!

    • NextEvolution July 11, 2016, 10:32 pm

      Yes…imagine life without black scientists…oh wait…that’s the world we live in.

      Anyone foolish enough to get into a pissing contest with a white person when it comes to…”scientists, artists, writers, musicians, philosophers, athletes, doctors, chefs, designers” is looking to get a serious beat down.

      We’ve been kicking ass and taking names for the last 2000 years. Your computer and the Internet? Our gifts to you….lol

      • Michelle Carstens July 12, 2016, 11:02 pm

        I’m white ,and I live in Canada. I fully admit that theaccomplishments you listed, many of them could not have happened without,at the very least could not have happened without the assistance of people of colour. If the slaves hadn’t done the labour ; built,maintained or cleaned the houses,ran the farms,worked the fields, kept the house clean,cooked and taken care of the children,and the millions of other things that were expecting of them,where would a whit person have found the time to invent anything? Even the things that they did invent? Just because you don’t like the very obvious point that this post is making,doesn’t mean it isn’t completely true.

      • Dee July 19, 2016, 5:53 pm

        You mean pilfering for 2000 years? You said it, “taking” but not names, credit for creations, people, and land amongst a slew of other things.
        #sitdown #getreal #youknowyourfromAfricatooright?

  • damnwhitepeople July 11, 2016, 6:10 pm

    None of which would have ever been invented/discovered if you were in Africa. Look at the country you originate from because that is how you would be living.

    It is what it is. Own it.

    • AfricanPrincess from Wisconsin July 11, 2016, 6:32 pm

      Did you just refer to Africa as a country? You are disqualified from speaking when grown folks are talking. Go read a book.

      • It's Just Me July 11, 2016, 6:50 pm

        *sigh* they can wait with Lauren Hill

      • JanuaryBabe July 11, 2016, 7:11 pm

        Wendy Williams, Jr. (Side Eyes)

      • Dannette M. July 11, 2016, 7:50 pm

        Amen, African Princess, because math, science, written language and much, much more originated in AFRICA…which is A CONTINENT!
        Lord, what are they teaching them folks?

        • SmarterThanYou July 11, 2016, 10:30 pm

          Actually it didn’t…it started in the middle east.

        • LuvvIt July 12, 2016, 3:00 am

          SmarterThanYou? Really now?
          But are you thinking Egypt? They might be in the Arab League, but that country is firmly situated in the continent of Africa.

        • Janekey July 12, 2016, 11:32 pm

          Where’s the Middle East located?
          I’ll wait.

        • Janekey July 13, 2016, 12:51 am

          The Middle Eadt is located on what continent?

        • GDavila July 13, 2016, 2:51 am

          OMG…facepalmed, rolled eyes, AND fell outta my chair…. I’ll just lie here on my floor n’ wait with Janekey…..and pray that SmarterThan You aint, just aint another white guy I can add to my…’this is why they hate me- they think I’m with you’ list…. 😛

      • Kbrown July 11, 2016, 7:53 pm

        You better quit reading those white ass geography books. They want you to think Africa isn’t a country.

        • RonicaOne July 13, 2016, 6:56 am

          Check your Christian bible maps & compare them to a modern map of the Middle East, Africa and Asia. Where was Moses dropped off? No matter how many movies you make you cant change the truth. Everything you know was stolen, appropriated, claimed from the East. I still haven’t figured out how or why we let you survive this long.

    • DB July 11, 2016, 7:21 pm

      My husband is from Ghana and we’d be living like royalty! The African continent is the new Frontier and your backwards ass didn’t get the memo. Now go eat some easy mac with a wooden spoon, sit in the corner and go fix the epidemic of white on white crime. You people are out of control, killing each other and us.

    • DB July 11, 2016, 7:57 pm

      It just occurred to me… Africa could keep all of its natural resources! Gold, diamonds, oil, bauxite, ivory and rainforests. It’s like the entire diaspora won the lottery! No more famines, no more poverty!

      • Michelle Carstens July 12, 2016, 9:00 am

        More importantly Africa would be able to keep its most precious resources. Its people.

    • Nita GC July 11, 2016, 9:39 pm

      THE continent of Africa with its many countries would not be the way it is today had not colonization by Europeans and the interference

      • Nita GC July 11, 2016, 9:41 pm

        by outsider trying to set up the governments they wanted or financing and orchestrating a conflict againt the gov’t they don’t like or who won’t do as they want.

        • Ms QT Pie July 13, 2016, 8:22 am

          aaaaaaaand stealing the ALL natural resources while virtually enslaving those mining for said stolen resources. Last time I checked De Beers is NOT an African Name. And Diamonds are Not indigenous to Europe.

    • Seeker July 12, 2016, 4:59 pm

      you need to find a history book… one not written by euros… get back to us when you’re done.

    • shidalt July 12, 2016, 10:44 pm

      Wait what part of Africa are you referring too??!!! Oh you FORGET that white people DIDN’T build COME FROM or CONSTRUCT EGYPT!!!! stop watching Western TV Africa is BEAUTIFUL and NOT because you RAPED it too!!! 😐

  • Lana July 11, 2016, 6:14 pm

    I’m black and Brazilian and I’m being Brazilian jiu jitsu, coffee and sugar. Have fun buying foamy milk at Starbucks now, suckas.

    • Lana July 11, 2016, 6:40 pm

      Bringing*

      • Nik July 11, 2016, 6:45 pm

        If that’s the case, we’re taking capoeira, the tango, samba, etc and Carnival with us too (Carnival started in Italy, but Brazil and the Caribbean perfected it)

        • Sola August 19, 2016, 10:09 pm

          Carnival is already packed. It started in West Africa in the ancient form of traditional masquerades that are still performed today. i.e., Egungun & Eyo. The Italian version of carnival was ‘borrowed’ from Egypt/Sudan. We took it back.

  • Shayna July 11, 2016, 6:17 pm

    ALL THE SEASONINGS! You’ll be eating boiled chicken filled with hope and imagination for the rest of your lives.

    • Stacey July 11, 2016, 9:27 pm

      Imagination. Yesssss!

    • CWillz July 12, 2016, 12:45 am

      Lmaooooo!

    • Siima July 12, 2016, 5:56 am

      Yup. I’m done. *passes out*

    • RobW July 12, 2016, 10:07 am

      They don’t season they food no how. I think we should bring all the chickens with us since THEY think Blacks and chicken go hand-in-hand.

  • ChandlerH July 11, 2016, 6:18 pm

    Yes, we’re taking the Asians! They have the computer technology market nailed down and we’ve put all their kids through college getting pedicures and buying lace fronts. And did I mention their fried deli chicken and turkey wings?? They’re coming as honorary blackaneers.

    • Jamaican Princess July 11, 2016, 8:43 pm

      We are taking caller id and 3-way calling. And we are taking coconuts, pineapples, mangoes, all rice and all beans.

  • Stacy July 11, 2016, 6:19 pm

    Since Latinos are invited to the Blaxit add every Goya product ever invented, Sazon, cuchifrito stands, every icee man in the five boroughs (you know coco, cherry rainbow man), all Bacardi products, Latin music (have fun at Becky’s wedding without “Suavemente), Rita Moreno, JLo, Mark Anthony, Benecio del Toro, Ruben Blades, George Lopez, every pig and chicken, and all the flip flops (so Moms can still throw the chancla at unruly children).

    • Ajahmure C July 11, 2016, 6:38 pm

      Lmao Yes!!!

    • Tonex July 11, 2016, 8:44 pm

      Yassss!!!

    • Kiyona July 11, 2016, 9:37 pm

      Must take chanclas!!!!!!

    • MsSassyLaRue July 11, 2016, 10:24 pm

      DO NOT leave out La Reina, Celia Cruz, Selena, & Sheila E!!!!

      • Stacy July 12, 2016, 1:09 pm

        We taking all the Fania all stars with us. AZUCAR!

  • Vanessa L.P. July 11, 2016, 6:20 pm

    Liz Taylor’s estate and Harry Winston gotta return all the diamonds ever sold and bought so we can restore our diamond mines.

    • lubug July 12, 2016, 2:01 am

      Well, that’s just fine. They should go to the people who suffered to mine them.

  • ChandlerH July 11, 2016, 6:22 pm

    I’m taking all the damn Koolaid and the sugar! My ancestors worked on the sugar cane plantation, so let them drink their bitter azz tea and black coffee.

    • DivaDahling July 11, 2016, 11:06 pm

      Nuh uh! Asians are taking the tea, and Africans and Latinos are taking the coffee. White folks gon be sitting around sipping hot tap water.

      • CWillz July 12, 2016, 12:48 am

        Correction… Hot water.
        We put the ‘tap’in tap water. Good luck scooping water out ofa puddle with those wooden spoons!

        • jada July 20, 2016, 1:15 pm

          Gawtdamb y’all aint playin nah!

  • Torrchy Brown July 11, 2016, 6:34 pm

    We are taking American musical theater because it became a world wide sensation when a white man put black paint on his face to ridicule our dance, music, humor and folk tales.
    Bugs Bunny is coming too. He is based on Brier Rabbbit the black American of West African folk tale trickster.
    LGBT folks will be snatching voguing & ballroom culture back from Madonna’s theiving ass.
    We are taking bluegrass music, too because they think they invented it even though he banjo is an African instrument.
    We are taking modern art because Picasso & his contemporaries stole their entire aesthetic from African sculpture.
    I could go on for days. If you want to see a satirical short film about what would happens if aliens came to the U.S. and offered all the black people with them, check out Cosmic Slop – Space Traders. It’s on youtube.

    • Nik July 11, 2016, 6:49 pm

      *slow clap*

    • Janet July 11, 2016, 8:35 pm

      the ENTIRE Art Deco movement…that was all inspired by traditional African design.
      in NYC buildings alone that’s:
      Chrysler Building
      Empire State
      Rockefeller center
      American Standard (the black & gold one in Bryant Park)

  • Regina Garcia July 11, 2016, 6:39 pm

    We could kidnapp people who don’t want to go like Clarence Thomas and put him in an exhibit! Let him writhe around in fear of retribution for all the jacked up shiggady that he has contributed too! Call the show “Uncle Thomas 2K16!” Yassssssss!

    • VegChef July 11, 2016, 10:48 pm

      Yessss!!!! Lololol!!!!
      Dieing over here!!!

    • Janekey July 13, 2016, 11:09 pm

      Uncle Ruckus is his hype man.

  • Josh July 11, 2016, 6:43 pm

    I’m just a white dude but I will miss most of this too much. Can I come along if I promise to be cool?

    • It's Just Me July 11, 2016, 6:54 pm

      Please submit your online application and we’ll get back to you within 30 business days (excluding holidays and weekends) between the hours of 10am-10:15am pst

    • Tesha July 11, 2016, 7:01 pm

      Josh, because you asked nicely (and because we might need some manual laborers in Onyxica), yes, you may join us. Just know your stay will be subject to periodic reviews and you’ll be rooming with Wayne Brady.

      • Josh July 11, 2016, 7:17 pm

        Haha, deal. You know how much we like Wayne Brady.

  • Lana July 11, 2016, 6:51 pm

    We taking Michael Bae Jordan and all his homies/fam from that pic he posted awhile ago. Ryan Coogler, Ava Duvernay, Zendaya, Amandla and Lupita. Have fun starting at Kilye Jenner and Blake Lively.

    • Dana July 11, 2016, 10:31 pm

      …But the original Kylie. She has to give her lips back.

  • Gray Matter July 11, 2016, 6:55 pm

    Earth Wind AND Fire.
    Burnt Ends & Brisket.
    And all the paint. We scraped the turpentine. Don’t ask Sherman Williams shit.

    • Amy Acree July 11, 2016, 9:53 pm

      Baaahahahaha!!!

    • Les917 July 12, 2016, 12:08 am

      EWF!?? And Stevie too. NO WEDDING MUSIC EVAH!!!!

  • Negra With Tumbao July 11, 2016, 7:07 pm

    And our ancestors are gonna slap EVERYBODY on the way out the doe.

    Hmmmmpf.

  • Aleyka July 11, 2016, 7:10 pm

    We taking all the cool ways we walk, dance and shake hands too….have fun river dancing lol

  • Al July 11, 2016, 7:13 pm

    Somebody said ‘the reason ppl r not mentioning the Obamas is coz they Driving the Bus LMFBO

  • Dannette M. July 11, 2016, 7:14 pm

    Somebody bring Lestor Holt. We need that intelligent brother for our news outlet.
    Um…how we gonna sneak The Roots from up under Jimmy Fallon tho?

    • Mrs. O July 11, 2016, 8:23 pm

      You took my thoughts right out of my mouth regarding Lestor Holt! We need him and the Roots would be da bomb.

    • June S. July 11, 2016, 10:15 pm

      Perhaps we can make allowances to bring Jimmy Fallon too? His lip sync battle skills would be entertaining.

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:37 pm

      I thought Jimmy Fallon was coming with us? He’s in that “really, REALLY light-skinned” transfer program. (Just go with it!)

      • Janekey July 13, 2016, 11:12 pm

        Lobda go home

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:38 pm

      Oh, and along with Lester, I know we have Michelle Harris-Perry, right?

      • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:39 pm

        AND Robin Roberts and Michael Strahan! I’ll fight someone if we don’t make room for Mike. I’m not playing!

        • Linix July 13, 2016, 3:06 am

          gotta have tavis smiley, all of them with primetime slots

        • Londa July 13, 2016, 10:45 am

          Definitely Tavis!

  • Aleyka July 11, 2016, 7:15 pm

    We taking the New 20 dollar Bill too we cant leave Mss Tubbman out here

    • Sharelle D. Lowery July 11, 2016, 8:07 pm

      This!!!

    • Regina July 11, 2016, 8:15 pm

      Yassssss! We cannot leave the Tubman! In fact, we can just collect all the ones the other folks would have had since so many didn’t want them!

  • Kathleen July 11, 2016, 7:16 pm

    Misty Copeland and Michaela DePrince!

  • Shaylynn July 11, 2016, 7:18 pm

    We are taking the stock market since slaves were its first ‘commodities’ sold. We are taking all of the oldest insurance companies since their fortunes were built by insuring slave ships. Boom!

  • Victoria July 11, 2016, 7:22 pm

    Wait…I haven’t read it all, but why the Wayne Brady jokes? Wayne Brady told Bill Maher he’d whup his ass. Anyone that would tell that racist he could catch them hands is a friend of mine.

    • delany July 12, 2016, 12:41 pm

      Y’all need to stop clowning Wayne Brady or he might have to choke a bitch. He’s coming.

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:41 pm

      Don’t worry. Wayne is coming. I just have to talk with the committee and explain a few things. Wayne is cool in my book. He’s on the bus with us. He’s family…don’t worry about it.

  • ReeO July 11, 2016, 7:28 pm

    Laughed so hard I dang near went blind before I got to the bottom. But what about the comb? Hell… they won’t miss it. Most never use it any way.

  • smg July 11, 2016, 7:29 pm

    can this Native American just take ALL THE DAMN LAND???

    • Dannette M. July 11, 2016, 7:44 pm

      Hell yeah you can! It’s YOUR land! Just toss them back their diseased ass blankets they “gifted” y’all.

      • jada July 20, 2016, 1:19 pm

        Yup re-gift dat ish!

    • Kbonn July 11, 2016, 9:03 pm

      Yaassssss!

    • TJ July 12, 2016, 12:25 am

      Oh hell yeah! Y’all get everything the Mexicans ain’t taking back. Although they’re practically Native too so maybe a compromise?

      • smg July 12, 2016, 6:02 am

        happy to work alongside our Mexican brothers and sisters!

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:42 pm

      Pretty much…

      You didn’t even have to ask, friend.

  • Ebony July 11, 2016, 7:32 pm

    Somebody needs to stop by New York Harbor and pick up Lady Liberty!

    • so not true! July 12, 2016, 2:03 am

      That’s not fair. She’s French!

      • ADMM July 12, 2016, 8:40 am

        Based off of an African woman so yup it qualifies!

  • AnotherWhiteChick July 11, 2016, 7:39 pm

    I don’t know if you guys noticed, but Disney slipped in all existing VHS tapes of Song of the South because they’re super embarrassed about that one now. And are you going to be taking Barbie’s token Black friend so white suburban soccer moms can’t say their daughters’ doll collections are “diverse”?

  • Milaxx July 11, 2016, 7:45 pm

    WHISKEY!
    They finally getting around to giving us credit for it. Pack that up and let them deal.

  • Sharelle D. Lowery July 11, 2016, 7:52 pm

    We need to take Steph Curry, LeBron James can stay tho. And somebody make sure that Draymond is out of trouble and get him to the bus on time.

  • Tamar July 11, 2016, 8:00 pm

    Can we please just leave all the real housewives of Atlanta behind? Just askin

  • milaxx July 11, 2016, 8:00 pm

    We gotta take Nichelle Nichols along with Cecily Tyson. The first sister of Sci Fi cannot be left behind!

  • Camille July 11, 2016, 8:02 pm

    Don’t forget Pam Grier, Richard Roundtree and Melvin Van Peebles.

  • Tamar July 11, 2016, 8:03 pm

    I would actually like to take LeBron. He’s smart. Owns all his stuff. We need good businessmen. And he knows how to give back even if he does run away from home every now and again.

  • jaz July 11, 2016, 8:05 pm

    Also taking: Ava boo (duvernay)
    Pacemakers
    Stop light
    Potato chips

    • George July 11, 2016, 10:22 pm

      you didn’t invent the pace maker or the traffic light…lol

      Use Google…try reading sometime. Why in god’s name do you think you invented those things?

      The potato chip? huh?

      Did you all invent the moon?

      • Dannette M. July 11, 2016, 11:07 pm

        http://www.aaregistry.org/historic_events/view/garrett-morgan-inventor-one-first-traffic-lights

        WHO invited these uneducated NON Black folks to our conversation? I bet it was Stacey Dash…crazy heffa.
        Those folks on here not knowing geography or history worth a damn.
        White people, sorry we have to leave y’all with nothing. Blame your ignorant kin folk for not staying in their lanes.

      • Ln917 July 12, 2016, 12:27 am

        Yes the moon too. Taking it. peace!!!!

      • Tasha July 12, 2016, 12:29 am

        Actually we did. Ironic that you suggest reading as it appears to be a failing of yours.

  • Shaan July 11, 2016, 8:08 pm

    We are taking the color black too. No need in leaving here to suffer. Black Market, In the Black, All Black Panther mascots, Blackboards, Black cars, the damn highways too.

    • Shida July 12, 2016, 10:48 pm

      Don’t forget Sun Tans we taking that too no point in them wanting to look darker….

  • KB July 11, 2016, 8:12 pm

    We taking the broom, the mop, air conditioning, The Soul Train Line, every line dance, Dabbing, All Rap/Hip Hop, twerking, the moon walk,every hit from Hitsville U.S.A., the sound of Philadelphia, Double Dutch, High Five-ing, and all the terms: Bye Felicia, Boy Bye, Talk to the Hand, Miss Me, Boo and Bae, as well as Netflix and Chill. You all can keep “cool” I figure you can say it but without us you’ll never be it!

    • Kiyona Hubbard July 11, 2016, 9:43 pm

      Don’t forget ‘as fuck’……. **runs back to grab** DON’T FORGET AS FUCK!!! ***running back to bus**

      • deja July 12, 2016, 12:10 pm

        now everyone that will be “left behind” in my office wants to know what is wrong! I’m crying laughing OUTLOUD reading this..! OUTLOUD, you hear me??!

      • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:50 pm

        I had a backup copy in my boxes labeled “Slang.” I’ve got the original and two copies, just in case we accidentally misplace the data.” Those boxes are heavy AF, too.

      • Nita July 22, 2016, 5:35 pm

        Girl, just had to tell you I’m on the floor right now 😂😂😂😂😂

    • Fred G July 11, 2016, 10:21 pm

      You didn’t invent Air Conditioning. It’s funny the number of black people who think they invented AC.

      The refrigerated truck was invented by a black man. Air conditioning already existed.

      It’s laughable the things that blacks think they discovered. If a black person worked on a PC in 1999 someone out there is saying they invented the computer…lol

      The broom and the mop? Netflix? Are you just retarded or is this something that black people commonly take credit for? LOL

      • Janimal July 11, 2016, 11:45 pm

        Dammit. I’m left with Smallpox, dried peas, NASCAR, confused Macklemore and this guy?!?! Dammit.

        • Renee M. July 12, 2016, 12:40 am

          And don’t forget his friends, Janimal. You got dried peas, THAT guy ^^^
          and apparently his dumb ass friends. Sorry, hon.

        • I❤️ Being Black July 12, 2016, 12:55 am

          😂😂😂😂😂

        • Stacy July 12, 2016, 1:23 pm

          Fill out an application and we’ll consider, like we’re doing for Josh. Fred G, you can’t get an application because you’re just mean. You are indefinitely banned from joining A Tribe Called Petty because you can’t take a joke. Sorry. Not sorry.

        • Cinnamon July 15, 2016, 2:52 am

          Yeah unfortunately his prejudice and hate speech (see the word “retarded”) means you are stuck with him. Unless you fill out the app. An usher will hand one to you 😊

  • Latrice July 11, 2016, 8:19 pm

    We are also taking Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey who recently came clean that Jack didn’t invent the recipe, his black slave did. Raises a glass of whiskey for safe travels.

  • Erica July 11, 2016, 8:20 pm

    Can somebody please resurrect Prince??? please we need him there for major side eye control when folk wanna act stupid!

    • Kate July 11, 2016, 11:08 pm

      Just take Prince’s legacy and Paisley Park and First Avenue and listen to him chuckle softly from Heaven. We’d be lost! And all of us who don’t die of listening to terrible music will just die of genetic diseases anyway, even without the smallpox blankets. Cuz George Washington Carver and his legacy are yours. That’s right! Blaxit gets genetic research! Doesn’t that mean all y’all get the human genome project…? Oh and GWC was instrumental in US peanut and sweet potato production, so I’ll be saying goodbye to my pb&js and (gulp) sweet potato fries. 😦

  • Tree July 11, 2016, 8:26 pm

    We’re taking all the First People/Native American mascots with us too! Good luck, Washington White Folks

    • Gigi July 12, 2016, 6:28 am

      wait Tree…we have to take Wash. D.C. too..since the blueprint for the city was done by Benjamin Banneker.

      • Tree July 12, 2016, 7:22 pm

        Ok, it’s on the bus too!

  • Gail Haynes July 11, 2016, 8:28 pm

    We talking lightbulbs too cuz Lewis Latimer invented the filament that makes them light up anyway… Good luck with to those who need nightlights for those late night bathroom trips😁😁😂😂

  • Toooldforthis July 11, 2016, 8:29 pm

    Alvin Ailey Dancers and Dance Theatre of Harlem

  • Petty and Proud July 11, 2016, 8:36 pm

    Must take rice; we taught then how to grow it with our West African skills. Of course, gravy has to go too. All hip-hop/rap goes; jazz and r&b too. Actually, we are taking BEATS, all of them. 😂😂😂

  • Marcia July 11, 2016, 8:37 pm

    White folk can keep the damn kale (they were all late on that anyway), but we keeping the collard greens & smoked turkey butts.

    • Gigi July 12, 2016, 6:29 am

      Noooo!!! All greens go…kale, turnips, mustard, and collards

  • chewyfruits July 11, 2016, 8:38 pm

    Toni Morrison
    Donna from Parks and Recreation
    Hannibal Buress
    Sidney Poitier

  • Lyn July 11, 2016, 8:39 pm

    We are taking writing and all forms of recorded language. Cuniform, hieroglyphs it’s all ours. No reading or writing for you.

    • Dannette M. July 11, 2016, 9:15 pm

      AND Levar Burton and Reading Rainbow! They don’t appreciate that ish.

      • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:54 pm

        Reading Rainbow!!! LOL All the yesses!!

        And, Electric Company and Sesame Street!! Just because!

    • Sam July 11, 2016, 10:17 pm

      But you didn’t invent any of that…lol

      • Knittingarch July 12, 2016, 5:18 am

        Cuneiform originated in Mesopotamia (modern day Iraq/Iran/Turkey), but hieroglyphics are 100% African (Egypt).

  • njeri July 11, 2016, 8:47 pm

    this made my soul glad. Ase!

  • April July 11, 2016, 8:50 pm

    Please don’t take grits and greens. If I’m stuck here eating quinoa and kale with Rachel and Wendy and Stacey, I’m gonna hurt one of em.

    • Tesha July 11, 2016, 9:14 pm

      No worries! We’ll also leave you the cool vocals stylings of JJ Icefish to get you through your delicious soul food-free days.
      You’re welcome.

    • Andria July 12, 2016, 12:50 pm

      I’m Done!!! LOL!!!!

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:56 pm

      Sh&t…I almost spit out my drink because I was laughing so hard at this comment!

      Girl, you probably will get that application to come with us approved. Let me talk some more with the committee.

  • Joscelyn July 11, 2016, 8:54 pm

    Curling irons, heart surgery, blood banks, clocks, maxi dresses ( just because they’re comfortable), New Edition, Prince and MJ’s music catalogs, and Dr. Pepper.

  • Gail July 11, 2016, 8:54 pm

    We taking bodegas too, since we damn near taking everything, ain’t gonna be shit left for
    y’all to buy anyway

  • Velvet July 11, 2016, 8:58 pm

    Don’t forget Robby Novak (The Kid President)!

    See, you guys are taking all the cool stuff/people and leaving us Native Americans to deal. WE CAN’T LEAVE, WE WERE HERE FIRST. Maybe you guys could visit us once a year like Santa Claus…

    • Dannette M. July 11, 2016, 9:21 pm

      Velvet, we can send representatives back annually with gifts of ‘nana pudding, with REAL Nilla wafers, some carmel cake and sweet tea. I mean we have to honor our Native American ancestors, because you know…most of us “are mixed with Indian” anyway.

    • ADMM July 12, 2016, 8:44 am

      I thought they were coming along with the Mexican/Incan/Aztec delegation since they have to work out the borders enneighways…That’s what I read earlier. So Velvet leave your blankets and come on…

  • singsatisfied July 11, 2016, 8:58 pm

    Hold Up. We can’t leave these elders: John Lewis, Auntie Aretha, Gladys Knight, Smokey Robinson, Jesse Jackson (bless his heart) and Mickey Mouse (’cause he is over 50 and based on black folks).

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 3:58 pm

      They’re on the bus. Front seats. Air conditioned.

  • Rae July 11, 2016, 9:01 pm

    You gotta leave Dave Chappelle and baked macaroni and cheese; that will take the edge off everything else you’re taking. Have a little mercy. You can keep the fountain of youth though; y’all never shared that anyway.

  • Kez July 11, 2016, 9:03 pm

    We taking ALL of the light bulb (filaments), ALL of the Potatoes chips, and ALL of the Ice cream scoopers

  • Tonex July 11, 2016, 9:12 pm

    Why are we taking Beyonce and not Kelly and Michelle? Hell, I love me some Solange. No worries, I’ll drop them a line, lol. Taraji, Mekhi
    Pfiffer, Omar Epps, Morris Chestnut, Laurence Fishburne and his lovely wife Gina Torres, The cast of Black-ish, Public Enemy, but they can keep Flava Flav and his clocks.

    – Ironing board (can’t have wrinkled clothes) and the iron. Watermelon, as much as they clown is for it, they love that $#!+ more than we do.
    – ice cream scoop
    – dust pan
    – mop
    – gas mask
    – sprinkler
    – lawn mower
    – home security cameras

    I can go on and on, but I’ll leave my list right here.

    • Chad July 11, 2016, 10:26 pm

      you didn’t invent any of those things…lol

      • Ronnie July 12, 2016, 9:55 pm

        Chad: Sarah Boone invented the ironing board. Alfred L. Cralle invented the ice cream scoop. Lloyd Ray invented the dust pan. Thomas Stewart invented the mop. Garrett Morgan invented the gas mask (and the traffic light). Joseph A. Smith invented the sprinkler. John Albert Burr invented the lawn mower. Marie VanBrittan Brown invented the home security system. What do they all have in common? They are Black. You really should educate yourself before publicly broadcasting your lack of knowledge on a subject. Also, it appears that you don’t get the humor of the blog or the comments, and that you don’t recognize that humor is one of the most mature of the defense mechanisms, and this is our way of dealing with the nonsense that is going on in our community and our country. If you can’t advance the knowledge or the humor, get out of the way. Or to put it more succinctly, since this is Luvvnation: SADDOWN!

        • Rita July 14, 2016, 2:37 pm

          LOL SadDown! Never heard that one before – all I want to take with me now is RONNIE…lets get Chad to push the bus instead!

    • Maxine Shaw, attorney at LOL July 11, 2016, 10:46 pm

      We’re also taking season one of Empire. (Y’all can keep season 2 cuz it was wack AF.)

  • Brianna July 11, 2016, 9:17 pm

    Say bye bye to Bath and Body works since they’re main ingredient is Shea butter lol! We may give y’all a sale before we go to help with relocation cost.

    • Brianna July 11, 2016, 9:18 pm

      Their*

  • Crystal J July 11, 2016, 9:18 pm

    I love EVERYTHING about this thread!

    • Katie July 11, 2016, 11:20 pm

      Me too! Even the white guys who keep making fools of themselves trying to tell you what you can and can’t take! LOL 😂😂😂

  • Fisi July 11, 2016, 9:26 pm

    And then we’ll drop by Switzerland and snatch Tina Turner. WE AINT FORGOT SHE WAS THERE

    And Janet…we comin for you too out there in Bahrain or wherever lol

  • Onthebus July 11, 2016, 9:27 pm

    Q-tips.
    We are taking ALL the Q-tips.

    • Ln917 July 12, 2016, 12:18 am

      And Q-tip from ATCQ along with the entire effing catalogue. In fact The whole hip hop golden age

  • Danika July 11, 2016, 9:30 pm

    I think most importantly you’d be taking strength, beauty, knowledge, power, wisdom and magic away, and that just breaks my heart.
    Love xox

    • Andria July 12, 2016, 12:53 pm

      kisses and love!

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 4:00 pm

      Your application has been streamlined and on the desk of the Committee Chairperson.

  • Candice July 11, 2016, 9:33 pm

    My phone is at 1% but I had to keep scrolling! Hella funny!

  • Foxee July 11, 2016, 9:34 pm

    Corn on the cob and floss. And sweet potato pie is what we bringing. And butter.

  • Kbonn July 11, 2016, 9:34 pm

    Did one of us invent Duke’s mayonnaise? I hope so. I need to bring that because without that the potato salad just ain’t right…

  • Mary G July 11, 2016, 9:38 pm

    What? I saw no mention of Lance Reddick or Shemar Moore! I’ve saved enough pictures of those two fine men on my computer to keep me happy for a long time. 😉

    DO tell me you ladies appreciate these two men????

    • Gwen July 12, 2016, 6:36 am

      No worries, Mary. I’ve already,said that we can’t leave without Mar. For that matter, can’t leave without Lucious, Hakeem, Andre, Jamal and Cookie.

    • Kei July 12, 2016, 11:09 am

      Shemar Moore and no white women? Nah he might just choose to stay lol

  • Mary G July 11, 2016, 9:40 pm

    Sorry folks, but grits come from corn – a native plant to the Americas. You can’t claim that one. Or tomatoes or sweet potatoes.

    Bad enough you’re taking all things peanuty!

    • Renee M. July 12, 2016, 12:51 am

      Sweet potatoes (yams) are native to Africa. We takin’ ’em.

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 4:01 pm

      I’ve got to use the bathroom, ma’am. Please stopping making me laugh so hard.

    • Tree July 12, 2016, 7:27 pm

      Native Americans and First Peoples are coming with us. That means CORN

  • Angie July 11, 2016, 9:41 pm

    I have laughed and giggled at all of this… And it felt good!

    Can we leave the retched ness of reality TV … Love and hip hop specifically ? We can take people.. I almost said actors but that would be a stretch.

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 4:03 pm

      We LEAVE everything “Love & blah-blah-blah” related with the exception of Love and Basketball. That’s one of my favorite movies and is already packed.

  • Marsha July 11, 2016, 9:45 pm

    I need someone to say showers and baths… we know Damn well they are allergic to the water anyway and dissolve at the thought of it!

  • Kiyona Hubbard July 11, 2016, 9:51 pm

    We taking all the kinky ass black porn they secretly love too….all dildos based on black men, whips chains and handcuffs ( for obvious historical reasons) im nasty so I need to be entertained on the way over.

  • Lorin O. July 11, 2016, 9:56 pm

    I’m Jewish, which all the bigots would tell you isn’t really white anyway. So, can I come? Pretty please?

    I’ll bring bagels. Remote controls. Vinyl records. Birth Control Pills (‘cuz we’re going to want to be reproductively autonomous where we’re going, right?). Jeans.

    I kind of want to take credit for humor, but that feels like a shared phenomenon. Still, I think the Jews have made some big contributions, there.

    Going to recommend leaving guilt behind, though. Other white folks can make better use of it.

    Petition filed. Awaiting verdict.

    • Dannette M. July 11, 2016, 10:45 pm

      Well, y’all come up with vaccination for the Plague and Cholera. We might need some of you just in case they try to sneak over and infect us. Plus, the Jews came up with stainless steel…whicj reminds me, are potato pancakes part of your offer? Asking for a friend.

      • Dannette M. July 11, 2016, 10:48 pm

        Excuse the typos. You got me stuck thinking about crispy, yet fluffy bagels and I can’t think right

        • Lorin O. July 12, 2016, 4:01 pm

          And I know how to make them the GOOD way, like any decent offspring of NY Jews.

      • Lorin O. July 11, 2016, 11:42 pm

        Oh, hell yes, we’ll bring the latkes! If I can still have access to all of the above cultural contributions, I’ll fry up a thousand a day for all of you.

        And yeah, we did okay with vaccinations (no polio to slow us down, either), plus lipstick, ballpoint pens, and Google, in case we still need a search engine.

        (Let’s not get into nuclear weaponry and circumcision.)

        • Risée July 12, 2016, 6:35 am

          Sorry, a black man invented the first search engine on which Google is based. Alan Emtage http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/01/alan-emtage-search-engine_n_2994090.html but you can probably still come because of all that other stuff especially vaccines and lipstick, this girl needs her lipstick so I’ll vouch for you.

        • Lorin O. July 12, 2016, 4:00 pm

          Fair enough, Risee, and I stand corrected.

          Plus, I’m not arguing with anyone about anything! I do NOT want to be stuck in the cultural wasteland left behind when y’all take all the good stuff.

          :::Happily packing her bags:::

      • RobW July 12, 2016, 10:40 am

        Well shit if Jews are invited, can we bring Italians then!?! I can’t live without lasagna every other Sunday.

    • Jewishlastname July 11, 2016, 11:13 pm

      Lorin you make a good point. Plus who doesn’t love birth control, bagels and Bill Maher (who we both know already snuck onto the bus). Petition granted.
      P.S. bring lox and cream cheese please.

      • Lorin O. July 11, 2016, 11:47 pm

        Lox and cream cheese it is.

        I think you might get some arguments re: Bill Maher, but I’ll leave that to the prevailing authorities!

        • Dannette M. July 12, 2016, 12:59 am

          Lorin, save me a seat next to your latkes–I mean you. Save me a seat next to you.

        • Lorin O. July 12, 2016, 4:07 pm

          Will do, Dannette! I’ll be the lightly oil-scented one! 😉

          Though with all the amazing food that’s coming with, maybe that’s not such a distinction. I’ll just be the one carrying the tubs of apple sauce and sour cream as beacons to guide your way.

        • ADMM July 12, 2016, 8:50 am

          Can we invite Billy Crystal? Is he safe enough to bring? I think he would be cool. Or at least a Multipass to visit regularly?

      • Princesssookeh July 19, 2016, 12:44 am

        I’ll only support Bill Maher if it meant we were dropping his racist ass in the ocean on the way there.

        #ThoseWhiteLiberalsMalcolmWarnedUsAbout

    • Janimal July 11, 2016, 11:55 pm

      Oh please take some of us Jews! We have defibrillators and shopping carts. And the media!

      • Lorin O. July 12, 2016, 4:04 pm

        Shhh…. You’re not supposed to verify that we own the media! And banks! And money! And dark Kabbalah-based blood rites, etc.

        Nothing to see here, folks. It’s all bagels and sunshine. Bagels. And. Sunshine.

        • Risée July 12, 2016, 4:15 pm

          Lorin you legit got me cackling out in my house. I will support your petition, I will write letters of recommendation, you can definitely come with us.

        • Lorin O. July 12, 2016, 11:44 pm

          :::Pumps fist, dances hora:::

          Yusss, Risee! See you on the bus/plane/rocket ship/whatevs!

        • Ronnie July 12, 2016, 10:01 pm

          You are hilarious. I would gladly sponsor you!

        • Lorin O. July 12, 2016, 11:46 pm

          Awesome, Ronnie! So honored to have multiple sponsors among members of this stellar group.

    • Egyirba November 9, 2016, 3:24 pm

      Love this, Lorin O. ! LOL!

  • Tammy July 11, 2016, 10:00 pm

    Listen, I get the point of all this but I think you’re all being rude. I don’t know why you have to take tater salad AND cornbread. What the hell am I supposed to eat?

    Also, I need my house shoes. You can’t just up and take EVERYTHING I love. I know you were raised better than that.

    Besides, if we have to keep Trump, I feel like you owe us a few favors.

  • Kiana July 11, 2016, 10:10 pm

    Don’t forget all of our literary contributions.
    Maya, Alice, Toni, Octavia, James, June, etc. all of them….
    We worked too hard to read and write. They’ve disrupted enough of our education and creativity.

    • Drf July 12, 2016, 9:16 pm

      Street sweepers. Lawn sprinklers. Fire extinguishers. Juicers. The telephone. Ha! Bicycles, butter churners, egg beaters, switching device for railways, recliners (before some cow says it isn’t so – Payton Johnson patented the swinging chair). We will also be taking our automatic gearshifts (bwahahahahaha sending you back to the 20s), and while we’re at it, we’ll take the entire month of June, because Jimmy Carter declares it Black Music Month.

      • Drf July 12, 2016, 9:18 pm

        *declared

  • TKnmbrcrnchr July 11, 2016, 10:15 pm

    Can we leave Mr StealYoGrandma, please? Ion like him and then he made that #flawedlogic comment on top of everything else going on

  • Bob July 11, 2016, 10:16 pm

    Make sure you leave the following behind…

    PC
    Car
    Plane
    TV
    Camera
    Records
    CDs
    MP3s
    Radio
    Internet
    Windows
    Macs
    Phones
    Cell Phones
    Film
    Video Game Consoles
    Basketball
    Football
    Baseball
    Trumpet
    Saxophone
    Piano
    Bass Guitar
    Electric Keyboard
    Sound Mixers
    Microphones

    Do i need to go on?

    • Nicole July 11, 2016, 10:49 pm

      Funny guy…go back to sleep…its all coming LOL!!

    • Janimal July 12, 2016, 12:34 am

      Did you guys already pack up all the senses of humor? Because this guy is already missing his. What the hell will there be left to listen to on those CDs he wants anyway. Barry Manilow?

    • Trisha July 12, 2016, 1:29 am

      Yeah, you do need to go on. Not with the list though. Just go on and take your ass elsewhere. ✌🏾️✌🏾

    • RobW July 12, 2016, 10:43 am

      Bob will miss us for sure; who else will he attempt to argue with?

      • Egyirba November 9, 2016, 3:26 pm

        LOL!

  • Nevershrew July 11, 2016, 10:18 pm

    We’re taking sports. Yes all of them. All the sports.

    • Apple July 11, 2016, 10:28 pm

      You didn’t invent basketball, football, baseball, etc.

      Sorry…you can’t have them

      • Nicole July 11, 2016, 10:45 pm

        You might be right but we dominate them so they are coming! Lol

  • Kristina July 11, 2016, 10:23 pm

    I’d rather kick all the racist out but if we have to go, I’m bringing Maya Angelou’s writings, all of Harlem, nikki giovanni, feminists theory, headwraps, flutes, drums, double dutch, Prince’s entire music catalogue, bell hooks, tap dancing, the them to The Fresh Prince, and all the cobbler recipes.

  • Thea July 11, 2016, 10:26 pm

    Well, I am going to need ALL the Alvin Ailey Dancers to elevate our vibrations. Mary J. Blige, Missy Elliott, Queen Latifah and LL Cool J need to come to keep it crunk with class. We’re also taking taking the sun. Let them keep steady with poor spray tans and expensive tanning salons. And yup, we’ll need the moon too ‘cuz…well…night. What? Ya’ll know we need that shit. Have fun regulating seasons and tides on your own, bishes! Deuces!

  • Nica Fleming July 11, 2016, 10:27 pm

    Also Uhura The Original. She will use transporter technology for those who need to arrive first to set up. Faster than the bus.

    • Marcia L. Hinton July 12, 2016, 11:38 am

      Yass, my separated at birth sister!

  • VegChef July 11, 2016, 10:32 pm

    All blood transfusions and associated work. Dr. Charles Drew pioneered that!
    See how they survive without that!

    • YouAllAreClueless July 11, 2016, 10:36 pm

      HAHAHAHAHAH!!

      None of that was invented or discovered by a black person.

      William Harvey was white
      Giacomo di San Genesio was Jewish.

      90% of the stuff you all are listing was invented by Whites

      • Nicole July 11, 2016, 10:40 pm

        None of what?

      • RobW July 12, 2016, 11:08 am

        I don’t give 2 frog shits if any of the things mentioned above were invented/perfected by Blacks–WE TAKING IT!!!! We learned from watching YOU!!!

        • Ms QT Pie July 12, 2016, 7:03 pm

          OMG! Ctying funeral tears.

        • Meshell July 14, 2016, 8:55 pm

          Rob W! Hollerin’! Do you hear me!?! I straight HOLLERED! 😂😂😂😂. Absolute TRUTH and I love you for it!!! 💯💯💯

      • Ronnie July 12, 2016, 10:12 pm

        William Harvey “discovered” circulation- or at least his theory regarding circulation was more accurate than others, but he DID NOT develop the process of banking blood, which advanced the ability to do blood transfusions, both of which was done by Dr. Charles Drew, who was, indeed, a black man.

        • Egyirba November 9, 2016, 3:28 pm

          Yes, and so he needs to have several seats! LOL!

  • Nicole July 11, 2016, 10:39 pm

    Reggae….Bob Marley….Sean Paul….curry goat chicken and all west indian food….herbs….soap…toothpaste…deoderant….we taught them hygiene…dancing….music period!!

    • Mr. Burden July 11, 2016, 10:40 pm

      This is some next level dumb here…why did we let them use a computer and the Internet? File that under “mistakes white people made”

      • troll sniffer July 15, 2016, 3:05 am

        “Next level”? We are taking that too. It’s our slang… Don’t use it again and get off the page – twit.

      • TxBirdy July 16, 2016, 10:28 am

        There would be no Internet or quality computers if not for Dr. Philip Emeagwali, an African black male.
        Do your homework sweetie!

        This man has also saved the US millions upon millions of dollars in the oil production field and his computer skill also helps he world with accurate weather forecasting.

        Gather yourself!

  • Black Intellectual July 11, 2016, 10:39 pm

    Black people will take the following since we invented them…

    The car, the plane, the computer, the robot, the TV, the Internet, the nuclear bomb

    White people have never invented anything ever.

    The following people were actually black but we are told they are white

    Einstein, Newton, Galileo, Turring, Mozart, Beethoven, Aristotle, Plato, Benjamin Franklin, Tesla, Edison, Steve Jobs, Steph Curry

    • lauren July 12, 2016, 5:12 pm

      Just because all those white people you mentioned had fucked up hair doesn’t mean they were black.

  • Nicole July 11, 2016, 10:42 pm

    Steve jobs? Really!?

    • QuitaP July 13, 2016, 2:24 pm

      His biological dad was Syrian,. So all Apple products come with US!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Vince July 11, 2016, 10:44 pm

    Can we leave Tyler Perry? He’s setting black people back another 100 years…

  • Elizabeth July 11, 2016, 10:47 pm

    Things are not looking good for us white folks. How many deals are we allowed to make? If we keep Ben Carson, will you leave us Misty Copeland? Or, if we agree to keep Clarence Thomas, will you leave us Anita Hill? (Shit. Never mind. We don’t deserve Anita Hill.) How about if we keep Stacy Dash, and you leave us Michael B Jordan. Please don’t take all the good blackness with you!

    • TMoney July 12, 2016, 12:52 am

      Aw hell naw, y’all CANNOT have no Misty Copeland! Ben Carson is all you get! The rest of them are already on da bus!

  • Dana July 11, 2016, 10:48 pm

    Nobody said James Brown! Can I come if I bring him with me??? I mean, he IS responsible for half of popular music. And SWV, TLC, Usher, Mariah Carey & Boys 2 Men. And Tupac! Nobody claimed Tupac! Every white person knows every word to every last one of their songs. We love them. Can I count them as my ticket in if I bring them all with me!?!?! **Application submitted**crosses fingers**sends every prayer up to Black Jesus for approval of application**

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 4:13 pm

      The committee is considering your application. Last I heard, they were impressed by your argument.

      As your representative, my fingers are crossed for you. As long as Donald Trump doesn’t say anything ignorant this week, you probably will get fast tracked and on your way.

      Good luck.

      • Lorin O. July 12, 2016, 11:51 pm

        Come on, Londa. That’s like saying, “As long as there’s no oxygen this week, you probably will fast tracked…” Dana should have at least a fighting chance of making the cut!

  • Karen July 11, 2016, 10:51 pm

    So if we take all these people we are taking long distance aircrafts, open heart surgery, many medications including drugs used for breast cancer, the probability theory plus…
    (I’m happy to leave Ben Carson behind tho’)

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_African-American_inventors_and_scientists

  • Nicole July 11, 2016, 10:52 pm

    Hey No Jesus he is all theirs!! #caesarbogoria

    • CWillz July 12, 2016, 1:04 am

      BUT we do need for them to give us BACK the noses that they stole off of the Egyptian Sphinx’s!

    • Londa July 12, 2016, 4:14 pm

      Jesus is coming. The one I know isn’t down with the shenanigans happening in ‘Merica.

      Jesus is coming with us.

  • Kendall July 11, 2016, 11:02 pm

    This. I needed this.

    Dead at traffic lights.

  • MyzDevyneOne July 11, 2016, 11:03 pm

    This cracked me up. Y’all ain’t got no good sense!
    PS: Random troll, you saying “but blacks didn’t invent this/that/anything!” don’t make it so. Sorry. (I ain’t sorry. *Bey voice*)

  • Thisgirl July 11, 2016, 11:04 pm

    We takin’ Native Americans with us to flourish as well.
    Bye.

  • Zakia July 11, 2016, 11:13 pm

    We need to bring the wigs for the Mother Usherboard …. But leave those false lashes that look like mascara brushes

  • Stacey July 11, 2016, 11:16 pm

    Did anyone mention heart transplants? How about cars? They can keep Ben Carson… But we taking his brain Surgery skills too.

  • Annie July 11, 2016, 11:17 pm

    We taking the video game console. We made that take.
    Jerk Chicken and all Jamaican cuisine
    shoe lasting machine-they will have no shoes-back to barefoot
    Train since we invented the lubricating motor to go choo choo fast
    hehe

  • Jey July 11, 2016, 11:29 pm

    We have to take all the Salsa, Merengue, Bachata oh hell all Latin music and Latin food and spices.

  • Jocelyn July 11, 2016, 11:31 pm

    Morgan Freeman, Gary Owens, Sweet Tea, All our elders!

  • DivaKors July 11, 2016, 11:36 pm

    Did we forget to take Michael B Jordan and his fine ass family?

  • SeeAyEss July 12, 2016, 12:00 am

    What about the Queen Mother Sisters, dynamic duo Phylicia and Debbie? We’re gonna need them.

  • Obade July 12, 2016, 12:08 am

    I’m personally taking Paul Mooney whether y’all want him or not. I promise to keep him under control. But, I don’t think we should take Jesus. We didn’t even know him before THEY came.

    • Bamapeach99 July 12, 2016, 11:07 am

      Yes! I was wondering who was going to mention Paul Mooney!!!! He was conscious before conscious was cool!!!

  • MsBubbles July 12, 2016, 12:23 am

    Don’t forget ALL the wash cloths. They dont use them when they bathe/shower anyway…

    • TxBirdy July 13, 2016, 12:30 am

      Dammm!!! U took it all the way there

  • Ciecie July 12, 2016, 12:35 am

    Can we please leave O J Simpson…..

    • Van July 12, 2016, 10:26 pm

      OJ’s behind is still in jail. He ain’t goin’ nowhere.

  • Janimal July 12, 2016, 12:42 am

    This is depressing. We need to gather around Betty White before they claim her. And we should probably keep our eye on Timberlake in case he tries to sneak off with them.

    • Risée July 12, 2016, 6:37 am

      Timberlake is banned from the bus, he will try to sneak on but we will not let him. Y’all can keep him.

    • Gigi July 12, 2016, 6:45 am

      Sorry, I got claim on Justin..

  • Chi July 12, 2016, 12:49 am

    We have to take David and Tamela Mann so we can all MEET THE BROWNS!

    • TxBirdy July 16, 2016, 10:35 am

      David and Tamela are welcome but the Browns ignant country asses get left. Only quality can come on this journey.

  • CWillz July 12, 2016, 1:09 am

    By the way, I know y’all gonna be mad but we are taking #AllLivesMatter AND #BlueLivesMatter!

    We didn’t make it up but y’all didn’t think of it until we came up with #BlackLivesMatter …effin thieves

    • Dana July 12, 2016, 9:57 am

      bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!

  • Igotmybusticketalready July 12, 2016, 1:10 am

    I’m on the fence about Vin Disel. He’s part Black but I think he tries to hide it. Please bring double Dutch ropes, and every single book written by one of us. Who invented comfy chairs? I hope we did?

    • Me again July 12, 2016, 11:18 am

      Nahhh, Vin doesn’t try to hide it. He has said he is definitely a person of color. Plus he was raised by his Black stepfather in NY. Him and his twin can come.

  • Brianna July 12, 2016, 2:28 am

    We can’t forget Billy Dee Williams… He’s coming too…

  • nothing left July 12, 2016, 2:42 am

    love this! a few things off the top of my head… watermelon, barbecue, the word ‘okay’, banjos… Probably easier if we just left.

  • Greg C July 12, 2016, 3:19 am

    George Clinton, Parliament, Funkadelic, Bootsy, the whole Mothership, plus Rev. Al Green, Sly Stone’s crackhead ass (50/50 as to whether he’ll even show up in time or at all), the complete catalogs of Miles Davis, Horace Silver, John Coltrane, Blue Note Records, all episodes of Sanford & Son, Good Times, the Jeffersons, What’s Happenin’…it’s all coming with us!

  • Adrianne July 12, 2016, 5:48 am

    Did we take bbq grills? that’s gotta come with us too.

  • Gwen July 12, 2016, 5:59 am

    Oh hell no!! We ain’t goin’ nowhere without our sexy baby boy Shemar Moore!!! They can’t have Mar..no way..no how!!

  • Thea July 12, 2016, 6:05 am

    Kerry Washington, Terence Howard, Taraji P. Henson, Regina King, Alfre Woodard, Diahann Carroll, Halle Berry & Spike Lee are coming. Ya’ll can keep Lee Daniels.

  • Yup yup July 12, 2016, 6:09 am

    If you took Steve Harvey the old white folks would have no laughs, ever. The only thing they love more than Wayne Brady is friggin’ Family Fued!!

    • Gigi July 12, 2016, 6:51 am

      true that…Steve Harvey comes. They can have Alex Trebeck and Pat Sajak

  • Carole Smith July 12, 2016, 6:52 am

    Don’t forget the washing machine and traffic light and the all important “Your Mama Joke”.

  • Gwen July 12, 2016, 6:55 am

    We can’t forget our roots…gotta take gospel music, too

  • Mark July 12, 2016, 6:55 am

    Oprah.

    (Drops mic, sets fire to mic, then walks away only as Jimi Hendrix would’ve done. Oh and we’re taking him too.)

    • Ms Black July 12, 2016, 12:05 pm

      Quick go get some water to out the fire, cuz we made that mic too

  • A Willis July 12, 2016, 7:02 am

    Hey Roger Eberts wife is black! so he is coming with us!

    • Casey July 12, 2016, 2:32 pm

      Except for that small fact that……..he’s dead.

  • Marisa July 12, 2016, 7:10 am

    We’re taking Alvin Ailey Dance Company.

  • Melissa Moore July 12, 2016, 7:10 am

    You forgot Michael Fassbender.

  • Tony July 12, 2016, 7:45 am

    You’re part of the problem. Saying shit like this is just undoing everything your ancestors fought for you idiot. All your doing is creating hate and resent across all races. You’re resegregating everyone. So your people did some farming back in the day, woo! Doesn’t mean this country is what it is because of that. If anything this country was built on the back of the Chinese because they made out railroad which was detrimental to our country before cars and planes. Stop segregating your race by saying things like “black lives matter” “we are taking all this with us” “stay out of our culture” can’t you see all you are doing is segregating. If you can’t see that you obviously wasted the other thing you ancestors fought for, an education. I think it’s time you stop posting racist propaganda like this article it makes you no better than the kkk. Stop saying black this black that start embracing what you really are, an American, drop the African.

    Besides America gave black people a place to go (libiya) and yet your ancestors stayed.

    • Jamia July 12, 2016, 7:58 am

      Chile stahp it!

    • WhiteTearsProvocateur July 12, 2016, 11:02 am

      So the railroad was “DETRIMENTAL” to this country and America gave us a country to go to, “LIBIYA” huh? There’s levels to this stupidity y’all..

    • BxxtchPlease July 12, 2016, 11:36 am

      The fact that you described slavery as a little farming is indicative of your racist mind. So if it was so easy to do why did you have to steal an entire race, why didn’t you do it yourselves. Remember segregation was created and maintained by white people so they stayed under their boot. Think about WHY black people feel this way.

      • Linix July 13, 2016, 3:52 am

        What’s funny is i was listening to His and Hers this morning and they mentioned how bigots go to line is “You’re the problem”.
        Tony, you’re all type of dumb, I’ll tell you why our ancestors that “little” farming, cus YOURS were too lazy to do it.

        White people segregated, remember that. We’re just taking what’s ours so go drink your bud or avacado shake, get off this page and go fuck yourself.

        • Quita P July 13, 2016, 2:41 pm

          Avocados are from Mexico, so not shake from him!!!

    • I love LuvvNation July 21, 2016, 4:39 pm

      Tony,
      Wow….this is top shelf ignorant. Your ignorant is so ignorant…I don’t know where to begin. But here we go….
      You call 400 years of slavery…’some farming’? Free labor at the hands of Africans is what built the foundation of what we call the United States. And before you start in with that, “well Africans sold other African to whites” nonsense, understand that the slavery or free labor trade practiced in Africa was far different. If two groups of Africans were fighting and one group conquered another, those who were taken in battle then were made to live and work along side of those who did the capturing. The captured were treated humanely and recognized as people. Marrying into the new culture was common and the captured still did have the opportunity to be returned to their tribe of origin after a given period of time.

      The slavery practiced in the U.S.A., was deadly and LEGALLY Blacks were counted as 3/5’s of a person. Blacks marrying whites was PROHIBITED BY LAW until the 1960’s. Slavery in this country was physically brutal and demeaning. It broke up families, actively and purposefully keep Black people from education and independent living. Chinese were building railroads WELL after slavery started. I could go on for hours about the horrors of slavery and how this country rose due to 4+ centuries of free labor. Don’t come for LuvvNation with simplistic, ass backwards, kumbaya, talk not based in history. Any time you wanna start the healing, everybody ready for it….but start with the truth, acknowledgement of the past, some apologies and a plan to do different for the future. You rollin’ in here ignorant AF, re-writing hIstory pretending we came over on Carnival Cruise line is what set the discussion back 100 years. Jumpin’ stupid on this site will getcha edges snatched. Every. Dumb. Time.

  • Jamia July 12, 2016, 7:53 am

    Kevin hart can stay here for a lil bit, I think he needs to regroup.

  • Dainelle July 12, 2016, 7:55 am

    This is hilarious! Did anybody get all the clocks? Cause we invented that shit too. We might not refer to them again, but we are taking them! Oh and blood banks! We taking those too!

  • Dukie525 July 12, 2016, 8:28 am

    Can we take Uncle Joe and Jill too? Aunt Bette Midler? If not, they can come visit and come to all the cookouts?

    • Tech-Isha July 12, 2016, 10:18 am

      Yes, Uncle Joe and Aunties Jill and Bette can come for all the cookouts and holidays. We need somebody back on the other land to tell us how miserable everybody is feeling there.

    • Tonex July 12, 2016, 10:17 pm

      Please don’t leave Cher! She is EVERYTHING! Besides she an activist in her own right. Fingers crossed.

  • Andrew July 12, 2016, 8:37 am

    We taking RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION with us cuz they don’t deserve that shit NO MO! *Birdman arm fold*

  • Imani July 12, 2016, 8:41 am

    Probably easier to send all of them back. They can go back to eating baked beans and tomatoes for breakfast and wearing those white powdered wigs.

    • Pepsi the Magnificent July 12, 2016, 10:35 am

      No, we taking the baked beans AND the Beautiful Bean Footage, Duke the dog is already in the back seat.

      • Ms QT Pie July 12, 2016, 7:08 pm

        😂😂😂 beautiful bean footage!

  • Donna Bryson July 12, 2016, 8:52 am

    The Star Spangled Banner. Whitney Houston, Jimi Hendrix and Star Swain have proven the national anthem IS the black national anthem.

    • RonicaOne July 13, 2016, 7:28 am

      Wait a minute. Educated at a HBCU you stood & sang Lift Every Voice and Sing,THE BLACK NATIONAL ANTHEM with a segue into The Star Spangled Banner. It was magic chile!
      See why we failing, we letting them brainwash our children. We can out do anything they put out here. (The bombs bursting in air gets an shout out since it was written in B-more. And they were fighting the British pigment challenged forces. Blacks have a strong history in the shipping industry. Drop into B-more or Annapolis, home of Alex Haley.)

  • ADMM July 12, 2016, 8:54 am

    Can we bring Gary Owen?

  • A Tribe Called Queens July 12, 2016, 9:46 am

    I will cut anyone who tries to take away my favorite show off all time

    SOUL FOOD THE SERIES!

  • sultryzulu July 12, 2016, 9:49 am

    Tony? Bruh? LMAO!!!! referring to the plague that was slavery as “your people did some farming back in the day” is legit the funniest thing I’ve read on this thread, possibly in my whole life!

    “Besides America gave black people a place to go (libiya) and yet your ancestors stayed.” – bwahaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Klawd my breathing though? Somebody call Mother Berdine so we can this chile some sweet tea, his blood sugar low.

    oh btw, we taking your words, it’s clear y’own know how to use them no way.

  • j July 12, 2016, 10:11 am

    Can we leave Khanye?

  • Dee July 12, 2016, 10:30 am

    We need Gary Owens, Roland Martin, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonya Sotomayor, Grits, Mardi Gras, Linen, doo-rags,Bluerays, and red drink with extra sugar
    #MygutshurtFromLaughing

  • Crystal July 12, 2016, 10:33 am

    *raises hand in the back of the room*

    Umm, can we take Gary Owen, Eminem, and Robin Thicke? I don’t think they’d make it with all white folks.

    And Donnie Yen. Cause, BAE.

    • Van July 12, 2016, 11:00 pm

      This has been discussed elsewhere. Eminem and his misogynoir stays here. Robin Thicke and his poser self can’t come either. I believe that it has been unanimously agreed upon that Gary Owen can come. IIRC, a race trade was already negotiated and completed during which we got to keep Gary, and they get both Stacey Dash and Raven Symone.

  • Liza July 12, 2016, 10:35 am

    We’re taking dreadlocks. How y’all gon be “countercultural” now???

    • Lorin O. July 12, 2016, 4:13 pm

      Oh, gosh, PLEASE take dreadlocks, so I don’t have to see any more white people wearing them. Please!

      • Thea July 12, 2016, 5:03 pm

        Why stop there? Take all curls, kinks and waves, period. Oh…and take all thickness and volume. ‘Cuz afros. Leave the blowdryers and round brushes out of mercy, but take static cling remover and dryer sheets because that right there will be funny as hell.

  • Ulysses III July 12, 2016, 10:41 am
  • BG July 12, 2016, 10:47 am

    SO MANY LEFT…. LIKE THE JACK DANIELS… *THE LIST IS EXTRALONG*
    I LAUGHED SO HARD ON THE LAURYN HILLS LINE !!!!
    REALLY REALLY ENJOYED READING THIS ARTICLE ! ITS BEEN LONG TIME I DID NOT READ SUCH GOOD ARTICLE IN THE WHOLE DAMN INTERNET !
    THANK YOU SO MUCH !!

    PEACE BY A SISTER FROM PARIS XOOOO @bihntiy

  • Lawrence July 12, 2016, 10:50 am

    Can we leave Cissy Houston with a live video feed? No audio needed. Her no chill reactions to life will suffice.

  • CDV July 12, 2016, 11:03 am

    I can’t believe nobody has said Twitter yet. Maybe you didn’t start it, but I think we can agree Black Twitter took it to the next level.

    Puerto Rican here, just happy to be on the bus. Anybody want an empanada? I brought all of ’em.

    • Casey July 12, 2016, 2:28 pm

      *raises my hand for an empanada* Thanks 🙂

    • Stacey July 15, 2016, 3:15 am

      I came all the way back here to say Black Twitter. Yes!!!!

  • Brother Bartholomew July 12, 2016, 11:04 am

    Am I hearing correctly? You’re offering to leave? Then by all means please do take anything that you want or need 🙂
    We all be happy for you.
    Gonna miss you so much.
    Ok, bye.

    (We’ll swing by New Blaxico in a couple of months and pick it all up again after you all done fighting each other over it and there’s no one left. Because…you know…yes, you know.)

    • SuzyQ July 12, 2016, 11:41 am

      Oh Brother Bart, once you infest America with your hatred, incest and ill-breeding, your kind (genetic mutants) will eventually die out from sun exposure, lack of flavor, and boredom. And don’t come looking for us, cause we ain’t looking for you.

  • DJ July 12, 2016, 11:20 am

    No one mentioned Fridges. Yep, we invented refrigeration so figure out how to keep your food from spoiling now.

    • DJ July 12, 2016, 12:21 pm

      Actually let me put in my own correction. *Improvements to refrigeration* also Frederick McKinley Jones most famous for inventing an automatic refrigeration system for long haul trucks and railroad cars.

      Still taking fridges though.

  • Zulu Chief July 12, 2016, 11:24 am

    The Obelisk in Washington National Mall is coming down. Egyptian ancestors cry out due to patent violation.

  • Ms QT Pie July 12, 2016, 11:26 am

    We will also be packing all the okra, pigeon peas, cassava, plantains, molasses and for the nubian foodies among us we will be taking sorghum. While we are at it pack up the gumbo, shrimp and grits, buttermilk biscuits, etouffee, beer cooked blue crabs, crawfish, andouille, and po’ boys. Chitterlings can stay!

    • Tylene Harrell July 12, 2016, 2:19 pm

      We ain’t leaving nothing chitterlings coming too, we got history!

      • Ms QT Pie July 12, 2016, 2:56 pm

        ::Deep Breath::: ….Okay. But I ain’t cleaning ’em.

  • Jackz July 12, 2016, 11:47 am

    lawd…… the white women will have to go back to getting white schlong….lol
    no more basketball players……no more football players……. no more R n B singers and rappers ….. what they gone do?

    • AuntJuhmymuh July 12, 2016, 11:51 am

      Ha! You know they gonna try to fool us with them fake tans and black face, so that they can sneak along. We see you boo-boo–ACCESS DENIED!

      • Jackz July 12, 2016, 12:12 pm

        no more becky with the good hair….lmao

  • Just ask Robin July 12, 2016, 12:08 pm

    And we taking all the Kool-Aid, the lottery and The Color Purple. Micheal Jackson’s kids before it’s too late.

    • Janekey July 13, 2016, 1:39 am

      Taking all the Jacksons except Jermaine and Randy cuz they have kids by the same woman , but we’ll take the kids, Sorry Katherine can go but you got keep yo azz here.

  • Patrice Ingram July 12, 2016, 12:16 pm

    We’re taking everything that we as black people created. Iron boards, cell phones, street lights, toothpaste, toothbrush, brooms, iron, our swagger, heart transplants, etc. Everything that white people have stolen from us and claim it as theirs.

  • Just ask Robin July 12, 2016, 12:35 pm

    And give us back our OX tails, Sweet Potatoes, and Collards so we can lower the price back to where it should be they can keep the Kale.

    • Tylene Harrell July 12, 2016, 2:14 pm

      No they can’t have Kale its coming right along with Collards, Turnips, Mustards, we taking the whole Greens family, no more breaking up families…Dandelions, we even taking arugula just because we can be spiteful

  • Blackjack July 12, 2016, 12:44 pm

    Don’t forget blood transfusions!

  • Hope July 12, 2016, 12:49 pm

    I can’t believe you guys forgot Hamilton, the Broadway show that they all love. It was written by a POC and most of the stars in it are POC.
    Lest not forget that it includes rapping and beats from the African American community.

    I wanna hit them where it hurts.

    • Lorin O. July 12, 2016, 11:56 pm

      Thank God I received special dispensation to join in, cuz you’d have to pry the Hamilton soundtrack outta my cold, pasty hands!

  • Monica July 12, 2016, 12:52 pm

    We are taking the city of Atlanta and every single major city in the south, because, they were built by slaves and ex-slaves.

  • islandgal July 12, 2016, 12:57 pm

    And please leave Jesus behind! He was forced upon your ancestors. He was never ours to claim.

  • Cieja July 12, 2016, 1:05 pm

    We’re taking Diddy and the entire Bad Boy family. Because, the remix, reinvention and creativity.

  • Alicia July 12, 2016, 1:07 pm

    Rachel had me dying!

  • Miss Bianca July 12, 2016, 1:08 pm

    Sob…TAKE ME WITH YOU!! Cuz you’ll also be taking Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass, Phyllis Wheatley, Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, James Baldwin, Malcolm X, MLK, Rosa Parks et al. with all y’all and I don’t wanna be left behind in thsi world when you do!

  • India July 12, 2016, 1:11 pm

    we are taking perms yall can keep relaxers natural hair is better anyway. We’re also taking the light bulb, fireproof Safes good luck guarding your money. and the cataract laser machine good luck walking around seeing with cataracts!!!!!!

  • angie July 12, 2016, 1:12 pm

    No more wheat woman twerking…no …no..No they can not go!

  • India July 12, 2016, 1:12 pm

    oh we taking Jane Elliot too!!

    • Ms QT Pie July 12, 2016, 2:10 pm

      And Tim Wise.

  • Ashley July 12, 2016, 1:17 pm

    I’m sure it’s been said but we’re taking cornrows, box braids, baby hairs, texturizers, oil sheen spray (they were using it wrong anyway by trying to cook with it), dreadlocks, hair barrettes and beads, edge control gels, afros, perms, Kanekelon…all of it.

    • Ms QT Pie July 12, 2016, 2:19 pm

      trying to cook with it bwahahahaaaaa

  • MrsRobertson July 12, 2016, 1:28 pm

    Can we please bring Jane Elliot since people who are racist don’t understand her anyway. She’s been down. Honorary blackness. Also Mark Hannah can’t forget him. He created the awesome 3-D technology. Have fun with boring movies. Oh wait we invented the tv and the lightbulb that is now used, Edison’s was updated. Gas Masks, X- Ray Spectrometer etc, the whole process of synthesis, mobile refrigeration, the UV Camera Spectrograph, no more watching planets, microphone and all things that was replicated in its likeness, good luck shouting, railroad lubrication system, no more train shipments, note more Drybath either lol

  • MrsRobertson July 12, 2016, 1:54 pm

    Until diddy can prove he had nothing to do with what happened to PAC, he can stay right here with Wendell Williams and Stacey Dash. Ohhhhhh we are also taking (don’t know if it’s been said); Elvis (one drop rule), Khloé Kardashian (Cuz her dad is oj)

  • Casey July 12, 2016, 1:57 pm

    Miracle Whip! Has that been mentioned? We taking that.

  • Tylene Harrell July 12, 2016, 2:04 pm

    YES, WE ARE TAKING CELL PHONES WE KNOW A BLACK MAN …OUR BROTHER DR. HENRY T. SAMPSON CREATED IT…WE KNOW MORE THAN YOU THINK If it wasn’t for Dr. Henry T. Sampson we wouldn’t have cell phone technology today. Isn’t it funny how the mainstream media hasn’t made him a icon based off of his invention? Cellular telephony has spawned a Multi-billion dollar industry and has freed tens of millions of people, both at home and at work, to communicate anywhere, any time. So we ttyl maybe if you invent something. Otherwise bye ‘merica

  • Ms QT Pie July 12, 2016, 2:17 pm

    We have all been talking about what we are taking. I suggest before we leave we federally mandate White History Month so they can learn the truth and sit back and figure out where they got ish twisted. And with that being said we taking Moses, all the pharoahs, Cleopatra, Nefertiti, all of Khemit and Cush, the sphinx, the pyramids, mummification and embalming, astrology, mathematics, medicine (since Imhotep is the father) and language. Oh and Jesus (hair of wool, skin of bronze and he never ordained this foolishment)

  • ThurstonHowell July 12, 2016, 2:31 pm

    Ben Carson and Clarence Thomas…..stay

  • TheBlackness July 12, 2016, 3:00 pm

    We are taking TRUTH! It’s Birth began with OUR’s! This way all the lies these albinotic idiots believe will have no ears, minds, spirits or bodies to infect. Better yet the 10% of the world population they consist of should be sent back to the Caucasus mountains (what a joke) where they came from, idiots.

    • Tylene Harrell July 21, 2016, 4:28 pm

      Yes we are definitely taking truth with us. Lol

  • Jackz July 12, 2016, 3:03 pm

    i’d like to trade Raven Simone for a few of my personal white friends.

  • Jey-boss July 12, 2016, 3:08 pm

    I guess we need to take botox and ass implants. We already had full lips and nice butts. They are trying to emulate.

  • Lorna G. July 12, 2016, 3:29 pm

    For making me laugh so hard, I quit AWL o’ Y’all! But I’ll see you in Blackstanistan after we move tho. :o)

  • MegaOldSkool July 12, 2016, 3:57 pm

    This is the BEST laugh I’ve had in weeks! Thx beautiful ppl for keeping it so real…. And funny! One thing tho, WE ARE TAKING JESUS AND ALL THINGS JEWISH because WE Are the original HEBREW ISRAELITES!!!
    Do your research! You will find out plenty of other things that was stolen from us like…. IDENTITY!!!!

  • lauren July 12, 2016, 4:33 pm

    Me and a bunch of my drunk, white girlfriends are getting on a plane right now. You can’t have Idris Elba. We’re headed out to London. We’re going to pick him up (if things go as planned) and take him to our bomb shelter in Oklahoma. And give him EVERTHING he could possibly need, in such trying times.

    • Nef05 July 25, 2016, 6:49 pm

      Too late! He has a young beautiful black American daughter, and she’s coming with us. So, guess what…

  • NiHi July 12, 2016, 4:54 pm

    We are taking all rights to the name, image, and DREAMS of Reverend Martin Luther King.

    • Ms QT Pie July 12, 2016, 9:18 pm

      Yesssssss!!!!!

  • Liz July 12, 2016, 6:39 pm

    Bye Felicia! Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

  • Simone July 12, 2016, 6:59 pm

    I say the official flag, as well as the cloaks for the Council of Onyx People Everywhere (COPE), should be made of Vantablack ans lined with gold silk.

  • Leon July 12, 2016, 6:59 pm

    We taking Robin Thicke’s second album….wait, we got the real Marvin Gaye! Nevermind….carry on my people

  • Prof KC July 12, 2016, 8:09 pm

    Y’aaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllll!!!!! It was a rough damn week — THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE!!!!!!

  • T July 12, 2016, 9:20 pm

    Gay bros and sisters hoping to secure seats on tho plane. We can bring the entertainment.

  • Runz July 12, 2016, 9:36 pm

    Dr. Mark Dean holds three of nine PC patents for being the co-creator of the IBM personal computer released in 1981. http://www.biography.com/people/mark-dean-604036#later-years

    But as you can see, there were multiple iterations of the desktop/personal computer long before the IBM PC and white guys were responsible for almost all of them . Hell, Apple released Apple I and II before before 1981. http://www.computerhope.com/issues/ch000984.htm

    Even if you could lay claim to the personal computer and take that with you, how would you even run it without the ability to use electricity? Electric power distribution was invented by a Thomas Edison, white guy.

    • Yemaya_Binta Arikpo-Davies July 27, 2016, 10:50 am

      Don’t argue they can keep the computers they have now. No more coltan the raw material for that sort of technology. AFRICA.

  • RedBlackNProud July 12, 2016, 11:41 pm

    We need Central Park because that used to be Seneca Village, so no park for them. Did anybody tell Bill what time the bus leave? Make sure he know we don’t have any room for Hilary tho. I’m gonna need somebody to run by the Apollo and take that, DON’T forget the tree stump! Oh and can we please make sure Miss Robbie got a seat with the elders cuz we can’t leave them Sweetie Pies. Officer Tommy Norman may be white but he’s clearly ours so I would like to submit his application to the delegation for automatic approval please and thank you. Also Teena Marie her spirit and all her music comes with us!

  • TxBirdy July 13, 2016, 12:15 am

    Taking with us:
    Golf tees
    Cortisone /
    Corticosteroids
    Birth control pills (see Percy Julian)
    Soy beans
    Every locomotive/steam engine /train after 1875
    Steam powered war ships (how many wars would we have lost without it)
    All the lives Dory Miller saved at Pearl Harbor
    The 3 girls Charles Whatshisname saved in Cleveland

    Red gold
    Diamonds
    Tanzinite
    Q@
    All NASA moon landings
    Patriot missiles
    Cataract laser surgery
    Microphones
    Mail stamping machines
    Lawn mower
    Disposal syringe
    Shoes as we know them today
    Nikes
    Broadway musical
    The yellow rose of Texas
    Refined sugar
    Agriculture (reaping machine)
    Slam poetry
    The first visit to the North Pole
    Everything that relies on teleography
    Crop rotation
    Beds with headboards (lol. I just learned this one)

    Anything related to GW Carter which is pretty much everything from food to cooking methods to car parts
    GWC didn’t invent peanuts but people didn’t. eat them until he championed it and created recipes and taught people how to use the for crop rotation and healthful eating

    Reduce -reuse-recycle. It’s not a “cause” for us, its just what we do which means we can take “riggin” stuff too

    Taking back every song that copied a Bo Diddley or Chuck Berry beat
    Every Rolling Stones song and every Mick Jagger performance because of their copying of C Berry and Muddy Waters

    Every Beatles song for copying Little Richard

  • Cami July 13, 2016, 1:28 am

    Nobody has said anything about the best music instrument ever… the drum! And we taking Diana Ross and her kids, all the trees in honor of all ancestors that hung and died so no paper,or nothing to build with, its all gone. Red soda pop, Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice because they are their faves, the city of Atlanta, we are going break off the states of Louisiana, New York, Texas, Colorado and California…..for obvious reasons. We out! Blaxit in this mug.

  • Janekey July 13, 2016, 1:30 am

    **PETTY ALERT**
    Taking – Kris Jenner’s hip swayin girl I mean boyfriend
    Diana Ross, her kids and Grandkids, sorry Ashley
    Pete wentz and his son, sorry Ashley (simpson)
    Time
    Sundial made who? Us.

  • Janekey July 13, 2016, 1:52 am

    Can Riley, Huey, Granpa even Uncle Ruckus come? Aaron is already on the bus.

  • Linix July 13, 2016, 3:11 am

    ok so which light skinned folks are staying and going?

    • Linix July 13, 2016, 3:14 am

      I’m ok leaving drake behind, far as mixed people go, tiger woods can stay. Hell, OJ’s white ass can stay too

    • TxBirdy July 16, 2016, 9:58 am

      Light skin/dark skin does not matter. Anyone who thinks it does should be left behind too.

  • That Time July 13, 2016, 4:38 am

    HAHA! I know we aren’t going anywhere because this is our home but it’s awesome to just sit back and dwell on all the ways we made the world better. #pridefulmoment (currently researching all the black inventions, and you know there’s more but “Massa” took the credit)

    but can somebody tell me WHAT’S WRONG WITH WAYNE BRADY!??!

  • Elle July 13, 2016, 8:29 am

    Ok Here’s what SHOULD have made the list: Places: The White House, The Capitol, Washington, D.C. ( see Benjamin Banneker), All southern plantations-including Montpelier, Mount Vernon, and Monticello ( just for spite and cause if we brought them into this world we can take them out!), St. Augustine, Florida.

    People: Inventors-George Washington Carver, Charles Drew, Daniel Hale Williams,Elijah McCoy, Fred Jones,Garett Morgan, Lewis Latimer.
    Athlete’s- Joe Lewis, Jesse Owens, Hank Aaron, Derek Jeter, Muhammad Ali, basically the entire NBA and NFL.

    Things: Heart surgery, traffic lights ( someone above mentioned this already, but its worth including again), potato chips, modern plastics, :southern cooking” aka soul food, the Harlem Shake, basically all good dance moves, the light bulb as we know it, Blood transfusions, the fire-proof safe.

    This country would not have attained its position today if it were not for the blood, sweat, and tears of African- American people. The problem is we need to know it and proclaim it. Does America owe black’s… yes it does… and so far we’ve been given nothing but bad checks!

  • Caleb Gowen July 13, 2016, 9:15 am

    Then quit talking about it and leave then

  • Janice July 13, 2016, 9:15 am

    We’re taking cliff and Rudy but y’all can keep Bill and Raven.

  • Janice July 13, 2016, 9:18 am

    We taking tea. Y’all stole it. We made it better. Enjoy drinking your poisoned water.

  • Janice July 13, 2016, 9:21 am

    We taking Idina Menzel because she has children with Taye Diggs and we don’t split up families. No more frozen for you.

  • Fiona July 13, 2016, 11:55 am

    If this was already mentioned, we’ll say it again…we’re taking BUYING POWER!!!

  • BRWNSKN July 13, 2016, 12:44 pm

    Taken the tan-in-a-can, tan beds…f-it!, TAKEN THE SUN TOO !{{wannabees}}

    • BRWNSKN July 13, 2016, 12:46 pm

      typo…”TAKIN”. Regardless…it’s commin with us. 😛

  • Dee July 13, 2016, 1:47 pm

    Damn. I don’t want to live with the rest of the “white” people! Take me with you! My Italian ancestors weren’t considered “white” originally… 🙂

  • Robin July 13, 2016, 2:35 pm

    This just made my day!!! I have literally sat here for a couple of hours and read this WHOLE thing, choking laughing!!! I’m dead y’all, DEAD. I so needed this this week. Blackastania by way of the SOUL train. Toot toot

  • Andrea July 13, 2016, 2:54 pm

    Y’all. “maybe RiteAid (cuz they carry more miscellaneous items than their competitors)…..”
    DED.
    “Jesus. We are taking Jesus”
    *falls on floor with pissed pants”
    Look I am a full-blooded Latina so I want a space on that bus. I BE BRINGING MY ADOBO, HOOP EARRINGS, RHTHYM AND ARROZ CON POLLO.

  • Honky Dory July 13, 2016, 3:09 pm

    Don’t forget to take Tyler Perry on your way out

    Thanx
    -White America

    • TxBirdy July 16, 2016, 9:54 am

      We’ll take him. White folks will be left with Adam Sandler; that’s punishment enough.

  • Sultryzulu July 13, 2016, 4:26 pm

    Oh and we’re taking reverse racism, because that’s calling something a reverse u-turn. Not a thing.

    • Sam July 15, 2016, 9:51 pm

      Naw leave that very ignorant isht right here and let’s watch how the “left behind” and utterly hateful and unimaginative angry-non-melanin people trying To ruin the fun of this thread use it to find a way to hurt each other. I predict they will further divide and try to dominate each other and then find new ways to hate while blaming it on everyone else who calls them out on it.

      We should also take the sun, since we are people of the sun.

  • Judith Killen July 13, 2016, 10:03 pm

    We’re taking all the Black-owned sexy places, especially Feelmore Gallery in Oakland. Matter of fact, we’re taking sex. All of it. With us.

  • MakedaJA July 13, 2016, 10:11 pm

    Glad to see you’re taking all us Jamaicans with you, Bob and Usain and Yohan Blake. We’re bringing our GanJAH and Reggae for the Irie vibe. Don’t forget all the Blaxploitation movies for us to watch too. Shaft, The Mack, Blackula and all those 70s movies.

  • Brenda July 14, 2016, 7:21 am

    Hair straightening products and and curling irons. All that was for our nappy heads.

  • chewyfruits July 14, 2016, 10:05 am

    Can we also please take JK Rowling?

  • Zanele Zungu July 14, 2016, 12:25 pm

    Take heart transplants too and open heart surgery. Turns out Christopher Barnard didn’t perform the heart transplant, a black South African man did, but it had to be hidden to save his life cause black people weren’t allowed to practice medicine then.

    While you at it dig up Christoper’s grave and take the Noble Peace Prize. Clearly he didn’t earn it.

  • Feelmore July 14, 2016, 2:43 pm

    Glad Feelmore Adult Gallery in Oakland is coming with the crew. We can teach some BDSM classes, have chill nights in the store, and offer wide selections of vibrators and lubes.

  • Rita July 14, 2016, 2:46 pm

    Let’s take twerking with us -just because its the kind and humane thing to do…

  • BrittnayLiebe July 14, 2016, 2:54 pm

    Not sure if it’s been mentioned, but we’re taking sweet tea as well, because diabetes.

  • JanMarie July 14, 2016, 3:34 pm

    Okay, white girl here….PLEASE stay. I’ll personally rewrite history books the way they should be (you know the main publisher is in Texas, right?). You wouldn’t leave me behind with racists, would you? Can’t we just send along trump & Co? I think that would pretty much take care of things

  • Charli July 14, 2016, 8:53 pm

    We’re taking back rhythm, twerking, booty enhancements (watch out Kim K, Kylie Jenner, all the other Kardashians, you booty pop users), Kanye (so that he no longer has to suffer the cruel punishment which is Kim’s soul food)… oh, and LEMONADE, heaux.

  • Meshell July 14, 2016, 9:04 pm

    SHOES! And before somebody tries to come for me saying a Black man didn’t invent shoes…Jan Matzeliger invented the shoe lasting machine. Somebody else may have invented the ‘shoe’, but without the sole of the shoe you ain’t getting too far. Yep, we taking ALL the shoes! 💯💯💯

  • Lala July 15, 2016, 1:32 am

    I’ll wait for Lauryn and all of the artsy creatives that are functioning within their own time zone.

  • Margaret July 15, 2016, 6:11 am

    Take ALL OF THE BABIES. If you leave them, they will die.

  • Amber July 15, 2016, 6:57 am

    We also taking Cell phones…we did that too and regular phones as well…no communication because you know Graham Bell stole the idea from his slave!

  • Dessalines July 15, 2016, 3:10 pm

    Steve Harvey anyone? Look like he just redeemed himself after that ‘i dont give a damn about slavery’ ish
    https://www.facebook.com/SteveHarveytv/videos/990089424382361/

  • Madeleine July 15, 2016, 11:46 pm

    This entire concept is ridiculous. Leaving aside the fact that over a century ago, the American government oh so generously offered to relocate willing black people to make their own country (Liberia), how do you plan on getting every black American to agree with your proposal? Particularly the ones on your list? Additionally, you can’t simply remove the right for Americans to use inventions that have been in the public domain for decades if not centuries, simply because black people invented the concept. That’s not how patenting works. The idea may be the property of the inventor (and the inventor alone, not his ethnic group), but the products are not.

    You can’t “steal” culture anyway. Culture exists to change and react to new people and new influences (like other cultures).

    Additionally, to everybody in the comments: you lose so much credibility when you claim that historic people who were provably (by written record) not from sub-Saharan Africa (or the diaspora population) were black.

    And finally, if you truly do somehow succeed at transplanting the entire population of black Americans to your own exclusive nation, you won’t be damaging America much. Humans are very good at adapting to sudden major societal changes.

    • TxBirdy July 16, 2016, 9:49 am

      @Madeline
      You’re not very bright are you?

      This is a humor blog.
      The point is to have a light hearted discussion about something serious. While doing that we can also reflect proudly on black’s contributions to America. Contributions white America so easily seems to forget. Instead of complaining or criticizing the “irrationality” of the Blaxit, why not read the blog and be enlightened. If you can’t do that then Shut The Fuck Up!

  • TxBirdy July 16, 2016, 9:41 am

    There are going to be quite a few white men trying to catch a ride because they like the chocolate
    Robert Deniro
    George Lucas
    Brian Musso
    Robi Thicke
    Paul Wall
    Jon B
    Justin Chambers
    Dirk Nowitzitski
    Chris Noth
    Tom Verica
    Matt Stone
    Chris Evans
    Brad Pitt’s history suggests he’ll be trying to stow away.

    • Eba November 9, 2016, 4:36 pm

      Don’t forget Bill Maher.

  • JustNee July 16, 2016, 2:59 pm

    we are taking Bill Mahr (honorary Negro) and Chris Rock. We will leave AIDS with Wendy Williams and Stacy Dash and to that point, we takin OFF insect repellant. Finally, we will drop off crack cocaine near Cuba.

  • Zanele Zungu July 17, 2016, 8:57 am

    *Christiaan* auto correct on my phone insists on Christopher

  • ChiTown July 18, 2016, 5:15 pm

    TxBirdy
    Thank you for handling @Madeline. She needs to stay in her lane. She put a damper on the page. @ Madeline please got back to your politically correct blogs and stay off ours.

  • ChiTown July 18, 2016, 5:17 pm

    Sorry @Madeleine. I got your name wrong, but really I don’t care.

  • ChiTown July 18, 2016, 5:43 pm

    provably @madeleine really…its probably…….ugh

  • Princesssookeh July 19, 2016, 12:04 am

    Ya’ll forgot Sade and Janelle Monae.

  • Princesssookeh July 19, 2016, 12:06 am

    Also; Is it possible to issue a temporary work visa for all of Jamiroquai?

  • phatlips July 20, 2016, 3:33 pm

    Can we take all the Low Country and the all Sea Islands, ’cause Gullah ancestors and language and cooking. It will also fulfill my 40 acres and a mule (or a Porshe Panamera) allotment. Also, Brown, Yale and Georgetown because slaves were sold to finance them.

  • Didi58 July 21, 2016, 12:40 pm

    I think we need to leave anorexia and bulimia since we takin’ fried chicken n stuff. Maafack, leave all diets. Nutrition consciousness yes, not eating – no ma’am. Anybody not eating the fried chicken, tata salat, all the stuff the Jews and Italians negotiated to get on de bus, n of course greens (one of my white students wrote colored greens in a paper recrently – I like it), is suspect. Leave ’em behind.

  • Yes I Said It July 21, 2016, 4:19 pm

    So I spent well over an hour reading everything that all of you wrote and I want to add the following:

    Can we take the TREES that held the dead lynched bodies of the beautiful black people who will never exist, who never had a chance to have a generation of children be produced. Those are generations of children that will NEVER exist.

    We’re taking Eartha Kitt, who had to struggle for years and years after they took away the Catwoman role from her in 60’s Batman series. Eartha still mad. And let’s face it- there hasn’t been a good Catwoman since . I know ya’ll gonna say Michelle Phieffer, but you know what – Eartha did it first and ain’t got her credit for it.

    Michelle- yours was dope though .

    We’re taking the earth where millions of black bodies lay, unnamed and unacknowledged, their bones or now since the passage of time has turned into dust, their dust is scared and we are taking it back to give them a proper burial and anointing into the heavens where they belong.

    We taking the seas that hold our dust and spirits where we were thrown overboard during the middle passage, when we died on our way over to the Americas.

    We’re taking the 1.8 million black men currently incarcerated in prison for petty crime such as selling weed or some such other petty ass mess brought about by white folks to hold us down. That’s another generation of black children that will NEVER exist. So we taking our men back to lay cool hands on their foreheads and to say” baby, got you.”

    We’re taking the” justice system” because that is a joke and we can make it better.

    And we’re Madame CJ. Walker who invented the relaxer. Now I know that this a controversial entry, but ya’ll can’t deny her contribution to hair care.

    Of course we’re taking Bronner Brothers – the entire corporation.

    And lastly we’re taking commas, yes gahtdammit I said commas, because only POC can take a comma and use it as a noun, verb, indirect object, prepositional phrase, split infinitive as YA’LL have been doing, so I salute all of you and I will save a seat for the comma who has a special place in the small over head compartment on the bus. And of course I’m taking the four letter curse words as well, and why u may ask.

    *deadpan stare*

    Because I can.

    *drops mic and goes back writing a check for her student loan monthly bill*

  • Tylene Harrell July 21, 2016, 5:03 pm

    In honor of our forefathers we don’t want to be remiss in our duties, so we will be taking all funds from the federal reserve bank for reparation as payment in full … oh and all the gold and precious metals since you reneged on our 5 acres and a mule. Furthmore, given that the minority of the world’s population (17%) consume most of the world’s resources (80%), leaving almost 5 billion people to live on the remaining 20%. As a result, billions of people are living without the very basic necessities of life – food, water, housing and sanitation. We will be taken 100% of the world’s resources including all food, water, housing and sanitation. We will be redistributing them to the billions who have had to live without the very basics. The 17% – please see Trayon, Freddie, et al at the court of justice for any questions – judgement will be held at the pearly gates.

  • Tylene Harrell July 21, 2016, 5:08 pm

    5 acres cos’ you lied about the 40 acres from the word go! I see you Abe <o_<O

  • Dee July 24, 2016, 10:55 am

    Make sure to get all of these stellar Sistahs on the Blaxit bus….!

    Bessie Stringfield – motorcyclist. Kingston, Jamaica born, she made solo trips across the U.S.A on her motorbike in the ’30s and ’40s.

    Selma Burke – sculptor. Got a dime, nearby? See that relief profile of Franklin D. Roosevelt? That’s her work…inspired by a 1940s bronze plaque of him.

    Madeline Turner – inventor. Invented one of the first mechanised fruit juicers in 1916.

    Bessie Coleman – aviator. Trained in France in 1922. World’s first Black woman, internationally licensed pilot.

    Lyda Newman – inventor. Her improved hair brush was patented in 1898.

    Mary Jane Reynolds – inventor. Invented a hoisting and loading mechanism in 1920 that helps to get heavy loads onto trucks with ease.

    Mary Ellen Pleasant – civil rights activist and more. Sued the city of San Francisco in the 1860s for forcibly removing her from a street car, and won.

    Azie Taylor Martin – 36th Treasurer of the U.S. under President Carter.

    Biddy Mason – the lady fought for and won her freedom, having been enslaved, and later made a fortune in real estate in Los Angeles.

    Constance Baker Motley – part of the legal team that won the landmark 1954 Supreme Court decision outlawing segregated schools, she became the first African-American federal judge.

    Wonderful! Get ’em ALL on the bus!

  • Anissa Wright July 24, 2016, 5:36 pm

    We’re taking Henrietta Lacks & her immortal HeLa cells with all the medical advancements that came from them.

  • nakeeta July 26, 2016, 11:27 am

    I just wanted to know if we could take aluminum foil

    • Janekey July 27, 2016, 10:57 pm

      Is it for your to go plate?

  • Debra August 8, 2016, 12:55 pm

    Don’t forget Prince’s estate. We’re definitely taking that..

  • Rob Wilson November 9, 2016, 12:32 pm

    any room for mixed race men on the trip?

  • Nation of Heathenry November 12, 2016, 7:28 pm

    I don’t see the problem here, it would be worth it.

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