Dubya’s Sway and Smiles to the Battle Hymn is My Favorite Thing About Today
There are times when I low-key miss the George W. Bush presidential years. Ok I admit, the only thing I miss about him is the ability to lambast him. Dubya was the guy who invited everyone to the kegger in college and was a BEAST at beer pong. He was not supposed to run to the store, let alone run a country. But he did. For 8 years. And ruined a lot of shit. The only joy we had was in making fun of him because he is so laugh-at-able.
He’s been mostly quiet and out the spotlight during the Obama administration’s time in office so we ain’t heard or seen too much Dubya. He makes his triumphant return, doe.
There was a memorial service for the five Dallas police officers who were killed last week, and POTUS Barack Obama and FLOTUS Michelle were in attendance. Next to them were their predecessors: Dubya and Laura Bush. During the singing of the Battle Hymn of the Republic, which has a chorus of “Glory, Glory Halleluyah” number 43 got his sway and smile in as they all held hands.
It might not be appropriate but it surely is HILARIOUS. Let’s watch and break this down:
Posted by CNN on Tuesday, July 12, 2016
Lawd, we can’t take Dubya NOWHERE. When I tell you I have watched this thing about 15 times, I am not lying. It is the gift that keeps on giving and I have cackled every single time I watched it.
First of all, Laura looks like she is just fed up of his shit. Like she’s thinking: “Why do I even take him places? Why do I let him out the house, Fatha Gawd?”
President Obama is on the other side like “My name is Bennett and I ain’t in it.” See, he knows how to act. Michelle deserves an award for not snatching her hand away and maintaining her composure as she babysits the grown toddler next to her. Dubya over there swaying like it got windy. Sir, stahp! She looks like she wants to pop him in the head and tell him to sit his ass down. Especially since he’s carrying on and tryna include her in his shenanigans by swinging his arms all high.
YOU KNOW the only reason he didn’t start stomping across the stage marching is because Laura and Michelle had that death grip on him cuz he was one loose hand from pop locking all over that stage. Bless the women for keeping him together. They are the real MVPs. Our girl, Auntie Shellie, especially with those biceps of steel. She has been working out all these years for such a time as this.
Dubya over there jolly as fuck, refusing to take any cues from anyone else. Ol’ “OMG SANTA I KNOW HIM!!!” face. Sir, why you got the Christmas spirit during a hymnal? You ‘posed to be solemn and introspective. Who didn’t tell him they were going to a funeral? Did someone forget to give him a list of rules? Over here getting his life from this like he’s at karaoke. This is clearly HIS JAM. It came on and he was like “OH THIS MY SHIT” and went to work on that sway. Did he catch the Holy Ghost? Why could he not stay still?
This picture is the perfect capture. Laura looks like she is used to George’s shenanigans. Michelle looks like she is trying not to tell him to get his shit together. President Obama is like “I’m just here so I don’t get fined” and Dubya looks so happy with himself. Like TURN UP.
George W. is the guy your teacher assigns to be your “buddy” on the field trip in 2nd grade so you end up having NO FUN because you spend half the day at the Museum of Science and Industry chasing him around so he won’t step over the rail and ruin the giant diorama of the Chicago skyline. He’s the kid who ruined the $10,000 Lego display when his parent turned their back for 30 seconds. He is the one who Grandma has to mean mug from the other side of the pew on Sunday because he keeps acting up during sermon.
For 8 years, THIS dude had the nuclear codes. We almost ain’t make it. How many near misses? It’s okay. I don’t even wanna know. We just thank Jah for seeing us through.
Related, Laura Bush is a saint. A HUMANITARIAN, even. This is the shit she gotta put up with everyday. Her husband is just out here couth-deficient and simple as a broken rope. He needs a chaperone always.
Whew. But lemme go watch that video 5 more times so I can get my life.
Dubya: Can I just do cabbage patch?
Michelle: *through gritted teeth so only he can hear* George, you got one more time before I get you together! Try it if you want.
Laura: Do you understand why I’m always tired? Anyway, thanks Michelle.
Barack: LOLLLL I’ll just be over here. Behaving.
We really can’t take Dubya NOWHERE.
It is time to write that book. Come into The Book Academy and learn how to go from IDEA to INK.
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FLOTUS glanced at Mrs. Bush trying to get a hint on what to do with Mr. Dubya. I saw Mrs. Bush trying not to look at FLOTUS but I bet she caught how it looked in the TV monitors.
Luvvie I am unable to can with you this week! That gif of him dancing. Him swaying and smiling at a funeral. Dubya is the gift that keeps on giving.
You know how when you were like 6 and your Auntie would snatch you by the arm super hard and then stare at you and say “if you don’t keep your narrow behind still” with her teeth clinched and her lips barely moving….that’s the look FLOTUS had. She was 2 seconds from getting him all the way together!
The FLOTUS is so full of grace–especially at second 16 when Dubya tippy-toed, like Billy Elliott, right up in her face!!! What is he doing? Get outta her bubble!! #throatpunch
“Like Billy Elliott” I’m legit crying
Noooo! Billy Elliott ???????????????????????? #Dead #cremated
I’m in here show laughing to keep from waking my husband! Ma’am?! Stahp! ???? ???? ????
*shoulder laughing*
Does anybody else think that Dubya dyed his hair?
I asked the same question earlier! He went from respectable elder grey to a strawberry blond. Gotta lay off that Just for Men.
This entire country is grieving! For some people music moves them and speaks to them! I feel like he was filled with the Holy Spirit and was bursting with pride that even though our country is broken and down right now, he knows because of the good people that live in and fight for this country we will be great again! With God with us we will not fail!
I refuse to believe that you are being serious. Nope.
????????????????????
Hahahahhaaaaaa!!
‘Nope.’
HAHAHAHAAA! I love this.
????
Are you on drugs?!?!
Hahahahha did you say that with a straight face? You didn’t did you?!? hahahahahaah
I’m telling you, white folks can do Olympic-worthy mental gymnastics to justify their shenanigans. It would be amusing if it weren’t so deadly.
For real! I’m willing to bet that if President Obama did something like that, he would be dragged to the gods! ????????????????
Kilt.
Thanks! I want to laugh at this, because he’s a total joke and the writing in this post is so funny, but I can’t get past the notion of all the people who have lost family, country, friends, jobs, homes, etc, because of this joke-of-a-president.
The Bush speech was excellent, I suggest that you read the text if you haven’t already, These slain policemen were innocent victims of racial hatred, which is what caused the lunatic to shoot them in the first place. Your comments above about “white folks” are racist. I would never speak about “black folks” the way you have spoken about “white folks” above. We are all brothers and sisters, children of God and until this division ends, we are trapped in a vicious circle of hatred that is only growing and making our world even uglier. Two wrongs never, ever make a right.
Oh Please. Cops been shootin’ and coverin’ they ass for 200 year and now we got proof of cover ups? Shit gonna happen yo, karma is a mofo.
Do you really believe that ‘we are all brothers and sisters and children of God’?!? By slipping ‘alllivesmatter’ into this by using it as your name suggests otherwise. I don’t believe that they meant anything racist in their comment. They were highlighting the differences that are quite apparent. It’s funny, though, that some people want to come into this space screaming all kinds of racism when people are just highlighting the truth. Yes, all of the speeches were touching and what President Bush did was out of the ordinary for such a somber occasion.
Um. No.
I know lots of folks right now who miss THE POINT just like you did there – and that informs me that you also can not be reasoned with.
Thanks for playing. Time to go home.
P.S. I’m one of the white folks, if it matters to you
Imagine your house on fire. Fire department shows up and waters down the house NEXT to yours because “all homes matter.” Then come back with that ignant ish.
There’s a punch line in that somewhere.
OMG are you kidding? Now I’m laughing even harder! Thank you!
I agree with you Jennifer. I think he felt the Holy Spirit. It is endearing the one with his power and wealth is close enough to God to feel the Spirit. He may have felt a little embarrassed that he couldn’t keep still, so he tried to smile and laugh with the other unmoved stiffs. Don’t quench the Spirit.
Dub be actin’ like he a child at a situ he don’t understand. Mind not right, not connected to the mournful solemn moment – like a child that needs someone to go git a switch. C’mon yo.
It amazes me how little people know about Christianity and how willing they are to criticize Christian beliefs and culture.
The Battle Hymn of the Republic is a deeply religious song based on the imagery of Revelation 14. The song is intended to remind men who die protecting freedom that they will soon be united with God in Heaven.
“In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me.
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free
While God is marching on.”
The song literally calls upon people to march with joy…
“He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment-seat;
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet!
Our God is marching on.”
Bush was very emotional and shed real tears over the loss of life. But, for that final song, he was reminded of the joy that comes from knowing these officers are now in Heaven in the presence of God.
You CANNOT be serious.
And I’m sure *that’s* exactly what was moving Dubya. Except for the part where that had exactly nothing to do with it.
Yeah, the guy that waged indiscriminate war on Iraquis, American women and children, people of color, and the LGBT community is a man of God. Okay.
Preach!
Yeah, well ‘ol Dub should have paused a beat or two before swayin.’ Good Lord, timing is everything.
Please go to another site with that comment. Black people cant speak freely in a forum about what interests US, without others criticizing and condemning our point of view of this world. Baby Bush’s administration allowed the global economy to be ruined. Outside of that, he is NOT a highly intelligent man; that can not be debated. He he’s NEVER exuded proper social skills, so this outburst is not a surprise.
Who are you to say how amazing it is that SOME people aka the black people on this black site don’t understand Christian culture or beliefs. 95% of us grew up in the church. We grew up seeing people catch the Holy Ghost, weekly. Clearly, you, Dave Hiersekorn, don’t understand that culture.
So his display wasn’t the divine spirit, it was a lack of social graces and decorum; which he has displayed over and over again.
So please go somewhere else to break down Christian culture, beliefs and the presence of God. No explanation needed for the average reader of this site. Thanks.
I feel like he was drunk AF the holy ghost was nowhere near him
????????????????????. Tosha P…hilariously well said! Straight to the point! I need to find an emoji with snot bubbles cuz that’s what happened when I read your post ????????????????????????????????. Well done!
Hey, it was a spirit, right? 😉
I totally agree with you. Too much negative against him. They never swayed in church , to a song that moved them ??? Yes it was a Service, but the Battle Hymn is a great song. Makes you feel proud. He was fine. People need to stop being so negative, shouldn’t they?!
Swaying is one thing. He was a giggling mess. A 70 year old class clown. Shameful man but still funny as hell!!!
NIce try. Remember, this is the same guy who continued to read “My LIttle Goat” while our country was being destroyed, who failed to protect us thru 9/11. The same guy who (we now know) lied us into Iraq, slaughtering nearly 1 million, mostly civilians. The same guy who’s actions resulted in the loss of thousands of American soldiers. Who’s actions gave rise to ISIS. The same guy who re-introduced the world to torture. Holy Spirit? I think not. He’s oblivious. A sociopath incapable of empathy. The only way he can cope is by dancing in his bubble. (But a nicely written promo!)
If by Holy Spirit, you mean a couple nips at the bottle, then I agree.
I just figure Dubya is Laura’s punishment for that vehicular homicide nobody ever talks about.
Yes!!!
lol sure is
YES.
Indeed. That’s penance enough.
Thumbs way up.
I love the video bit that catches POTUS appearing to tell FLOTUS to just go with it. I can’t lip read, but I can dream a dream.
I legit cackled. The video was funnier than I imagined. I saw FLOTUS cut her eyes at Laura Bush then snatch that arm down as Dubya attempted to dougie at a funeral. He gave zero fucks! POTUS trying not to laugh out loud was the highlight of the clip. This video made my day.
When I watch this foolishness live yesterday I just had to chuckle. The one quality that I wish Obama had from day one of his presidency was the ability to not give a damb. Dubya was like this from day one and continues to lack fucks to give. I liked this quality about it and he made me smile yesterday.
Dubya told her before they left the house: “Laura, if you wear them kitten heels outside I’mma cut a fool; don’t try me.”
Laura: “Bet.”
I see what you did there, ma’am, and I approve!
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Hooooomygawd!… I can’t breathe. Think. Stop laughing. Stop watching this video. My stomach legit hurts like a 5 year old that can’t stop laughing
Dubya is on some good good meds today. He took one too many now Dubya is ready to TURN UP.
“Jolly as fuck” and I am in my grave
Did he miss his meds or did he take too many?
That is the question! Cuz homey was off…..more so than usual.
I was watching this live, and it was such a lovely ceremony, and then BAM! Dubya! His face was all “I’m marchin’! Lookit me, Michelle! I’m marchin’!” And poor Laura. You can just tell she’s lived a lifetime of this and takes her happy pills now to ignore it.
President Obama is like “I’m just here so I don’t get fined”
Call me an ambulance, I need the AED. #dying
(IN HIS HEAD)
“Teach me how to Dubya!
Teachmeteachme how to Dubya!
Errybody luh it! Erryerrybody luh it!”
Dubya: I got me TWO dance partners! Heh!
I will never listen to this song correctly again. LOL
EhrmahGAWD! I haz perished and damn near woke up the baby cacklin. Your new rendition of this song is now stuck in my head. ????????????
Inside laughing & crying cuz I’m at work. The best!
I am not sure I have loved anything as much as I have your blog post. You have me in tears with laughter! Keep up the brilliance! 🙂
I swear he is always questionably drunk or high. And Michelle was looking like “Laura, when you gone tell your man to behave?”
I wanted to be a fly on the roof of the limo on the ride home with Michele & Barack.
MO why you sit me next to that fool? I want to snatch him every time.
BO: Now you know I can’t sit near him…good looking out, you took one for the team.
He got on my nerves so bad yesterday! Did you see him with his legs all crossed over in Michelle’s personal space? Move your damn legs Dubya!
You know he had the hots for Condaleeza Rice, right? He was flirting with Chelle here because he thought the song was Jungle Fever, he’s in love.
I wonder how many times POTUS and FLOTUS have watched this video and crack up?!? This was priceless. Absolutely priceless.
This post was hilarious. The pictures were too funny. FLOTUS was giving the Black Mother SEOD.
But, the kicker was POTUS. He was SO happy to be removed from the situation
You know who else wasn’t feeling it?
Dr. Jill. The pictures of her are hilarious too.????????
OMG, SIPort! I knew you from SZ, PCO…so cool to see you again so randomly! You will probably never see this, but oh well!
Hey sands!!
This post is MY LIFE! Thank you for that.
I’m sorry but this is so telling to me, he missed Condi so much that when he got next to Black Girl Magic the FLOTUS edition, he lost his mind.
Between this and that video of the Canadian tenors I am cackling!
I like to think POTUS and FOTUS are part of the LuvvNation and are sitting in the White House reading this blog and have a good ole laugh.
This article made me laugh all the way through it. I even snort laughed several times. In the south we say “Bless His Heart” which translates into “Fuck that idiot.”
Couth deficient ????????????????????????
Check out the two guys behind them at the end, trying not to laugh after having witnessed the whole thing.
Laura: I told Dr. Czewinski he wasn’t ready! I told him, I told him, I told him! But he insisted…
Oh, you killed me at “My name is Bennett and I ain’t in it.” My cheeks hurt I can’t stop smiling and laughing! Some said that POTUS and FLOTUS are probably in the White House watching it over and over and laughing, and reading your blog and I hope they are because you slay, if they don’t know about it someone that knows how to get word to them better do it because they have to be able to enjoy your posts, the same as us! It’s only fair, right? Right.
That Elf reference…Had to stop to laugh for a good long while after that….
What we are really seeing is his abundant joy over being seated next to Chelly-O. “Your hands are much softa’ than Condi’s, First Lady…if you let me be your Fitz, I’ve got a special white coat for you. Please??” Obama is like, “Hilarity. Didn’t I ask the Secret Service to hide the good liquor?” Lmbao.
I recognize that MO suppression hand. Tha’s the church sista hand that said ” Yo ass is mine when he get through! Im’ma tell Big Mommy “. Let George live !! A shining beacon of Republican White House to come. Trump woulda been sitting there looking like a toasted exploded coconut marshmallow…
I seriously cannot breathe! Tew much !
Michelle looks like she’s trying to refrain from yanking his stupid arm out of its respective stupid shoulder, prior to beating his stupid ass with it.
And the side-eye. .. OMG THE EPIC SIDE-EYE that Michelle is throwing!!!
My husband is Danish, and HE even caught it!
That boy is on the sauce. I’ve known a lot of dry drunks (was raised by one), and let me tell you, that one ain’t dry no more…
THANK YOU for this READ. I have been both mad & laughing since I saw this yesterday. What an IDIOT!!! In the zoomed out version, you can see the folks on either end trying not to smack his head. Damn Duhbya.
He’s just happy to be holding hands with a black woman.
Not just any women, that is,
“Michelle Obama, purse so heavy, Oprah dollars $$$”!!!
I am CRYING over your post. Hilarious from beginning to end. Loved the read.
This was the best article. The description was hilarious. I’m cracking up at my desk with my head ducked down so No one Knows it’s me laughing so hard. Ty…day made!
That first GIF has me rolling! LOL. I’ve watched this damn video like 30 times. it gets better and better each time.
” He was one loose hand from pop locking all over that stage”… I am #crine !!
????
Ol’ “OMG SANTA I KNOW HIM!!!” face just killed me.
He is goofy as hell! And the pop locking comment has me wheezing! Tears, tears and more tears! ????????????
I can’t stop laughing! I keep watching the 43rd President of the United States on stage getting jiggy like he’s at the club, invading people’s personal space, and grinning ear to ear at a… funeral? It’s like a nightmare only it was broadcast on CNN.
Michelle’s face just says “Jesus, take the wheel!” Laura looks like “Jesus, take me now!” Barack is just glad he’s not in arm’s reach lest he get sucked into the rabbit hole of foolishness with his wife.
The interesting thing is that the people for whom President Obama can’t do anything right, who spend their lives looking for the least little flaw in the Obamas to pounce on, have nothing to say about Bush straight clowning at a memorial service for slain police officers. Interesting…
GWB is the girl in my 1st-grade play who kept throwing her dress over her head to pull up her tights while we were just trying to sing a cute song about pumpkins, except 60-something and a former potus. LIKE.
Nooooo!!! Don’t give this fool any ideas! I think he can hear dumb dares. His mind monitors the Matrix and seeks them out
Dubbya didn’t know the difference between a solemn occasion and karaoke night at the local bar…
I have laughed until my face hurts, not only at the videos but your writing. Love you Luvvie!
Saw this post on Facebook – first time reading your blog. I have watched this and shared over & over. FUNNIEST thing EVER. Crying over here.
Even weirder, he spoke earlier in the program and seemed fine. Coherent. Not stumbling or pausing for a while between words, and I was thinking retirement had been good to him.
Then he grabs Michelle’s hand and starts swinging their arms and swaying and puts on that goofy grin. Maybe he thinks it’s like some churches where swaying and kind of dancing to the music is not unusual, but it’s a funeral and the song is Battle Hymm of the Republic — nobody’s dance tune! It was the weirdest thing.
Laura Bush — I always wondered how she stayed with that man, and the look on Michelle’s face? Like … This cannot possibly be happening. I must be having a weird dream. All these people are watching this solemn event, and I’m on stage with W and I think he’s trying to get me to dance with him?
Did you notice how President Obama does a little mercy swaying after he notices George W. doing the jitterbug thing? He slips him a mercy dance! So people don’t thing GW is completely uncouth!
Barack is the best thing ever.
Best. Commentary. Evah!
I’ve been waiting for someone to wreck him for that ridiculous display…hat’s off to you madam.
Seriously, has he lost his ever-lovin mind?
Dubya over there jolly as fuck…
Yep- that right there just made me die.
Thanks Luvvie!
You gave me my ab workout for today. CNN should have hired you just to narrate his shenanigans LOL
“Oh that’s my shit!” ROTFLMAO
“Jolly as fuck” needs to go on a t-shirt, if not my tombstone.
I AM CRYING FROM LAUGHING AND THIS JUST MADE MY ENTIRE WEEK, BLESS YOU!!!
What is WRONG with that man!?!?!?
On behalf of white males who haven’t busted a decent move since roller disco, I feel like I need to apologize for the Shrub.
He looks like he’s following Miss Pam on Romper Room as an encephalic shut-in child.
The SHADE being thrown by the FLOTUS when his half assed Glory to Jesus Electric Slide starts to interrupt her solitude is epic!! She’s like, “what in the hell….” And Laura is like. “gurl – behold my burden.”
You know Barack and Michelle are breaking this out for pre-dinner entertainment – and will for a loooong time to come.
I’m DONE!!!
half assed Glory to Jesus Electric Slide…
This made me LOL. Literally at 4am.
Thank you for making me laugh. I was just dumbfounded when I saw this video, and at least remembered why I couldn’t stand the man when he was in office. Good lord I will miss the competence and dignity of the Obamas.
I literally just LMAO reading this and then watching it again made it even more funnier. “Jolly AF” real tears!
If all that’s holy!!! Lol The video was the beginning of it, this blog and all your posts…straight up hilariously priceless! The more I read, the harder I laughed. ????????
Luuvie, you got me coughing and wheezing laughing at W’s foolishness. The reactions I love are those of Dr. Jill and VP Ride or Die Joe. Dr. Jill looks like she is 2.5 seconds to drop kicking him out to the parking lot and VP Joe will be all the backup she needs.
I don’t know what ive enjoyed more, the post or the comments..you all are HILARIOUS!! ????
Bless your heart. You’re a special one, aren’t you?
B, I think you’re on the wrong website. Getta hold of yourself.
[…] I just knew Luvvie would take on the George Dubya news of this week. […]
[…] I just knew Luvvie would take on the George Dubya news of this week. […]
[…] I just knew Luvvie would take on the George Dubya news of this week. […]
Like others, I have coughed, wheeezed, peed on myself, and laughed so hard (I’m still laughing) my chest hurt.
My thoughts were Mr. Rodger Neighborhood, immediately. Then Sesame Street, as a guest. The Bozo show popped into my mind also.
Skip, skip, skip to my lou, Dubya! Skip man, skip.
Michelle was like, no da hell you not. You might be able to do that shit at home, but ‘cher today! No sir, not today!
Skip, skip, skip to my lou
Put on your Sunday, go to meetin’
And I’ll take you by the hand
If you will be my dancin’ partner
We will dance to beat the band
You must be new here.
You see, your last sentence just negated any of your preceding bullflap about love and respect and Kum By Yah.
Please feel free to depart these shores and return to whatever island of yapping anuses you came from.
He was clearly intoxicated (as usual) and was “acting out”. the FLOTUS was about to go full Black Grandma on his azz!
I was LMAO at George Bush shaking his non existant but, then when you said, “Her husband is just out here couth-deficient and simple as a broken rope.” I howled!
What is he on? Michele had her hands full.
Since, in my opinion, it looks like he’s had work done, maybe he’s high on pain meds? ( I know I’m reaching!)
George Dubya was LITTT!!
I seriously just registered so I could tell you this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Especially this: “Related, Laura Bush is a saint. A HUMANITARIAN, even. This is the shit she gotta put up with everyday. Her husband is just out here couth-deficient and simple as a broken rope. He needs a chaperone always.” Applause, Madam.
Why have I been gone away so long? This right here has me hollering. I’ve always said uncouth, but couth deficient has given me life!!!!! He needs to “sat” still and never get up again OR head straight to the damn corner!!! No chill what so ever!!!!
Did anyone catch the little kissy kissy move between Dubya and FLOTUS at about 17 seconds? “You’re just too good to be true…”
Couldn’t agree more.
“But lemme go watch that video 5 more times so I can get my life.”
Get your life girl! Get your life.
He’s DRUNK…guess he fell off the wagon
I can’t stop laughing. I know I should stop but I can’t. It’s probably NOT funny that he appears to be high as hell or drunker than Cooter Brown but yeah, that shid was funny! Y’all already know POTUS and FLOTUS called Laura Bush on three-way to tell her about her husband!
[…] Luvvie’s commentary on Bush’s giddiness during the Battle Hymn of the Republic. I love this so much I had to read passages out loud to my coworkers. While […]
i cackled to the orange corn moon. i’ve been adulting all week, so i’m just catching up on this. Luvvie, i love you! after all the bad news on tv, this provided much-needed laughter. your vivid descriptions (& added clip) made me feel like i was right there. i attend an A.M.E. church and at all the memorials/homegoings i’ve been to if the song has a good beat, we sway and dance. Dubya would fit right in
This is so much EVERYTHING! I was bout in tears from laughing so hard
Give Dubya some credit–he really likes our First Lady.