Politics

Malik Obama is An Enemy of Progress

Everything is weird and the world is ridiculous. Malik Obama, President Barack Obama’s estranged half-brother who lives in Kenya is in the news for his endorsement in this election. Speaking from Kogelo, your uncle has let the world know that even though he is a longtime Democrat, he will be voting for the Walking Cheeto Trump in November. The NYPost got the tea.

Malik Obama Donald Trump

Apparently, he’s disappointed in the Democratic party’s support of same sex marriage because he believes in the sanctity of marriage. Him, with his three wives, thinks people should respect the tradition of man-woman oath-taking. If I cackled any louder, I might be cast in a Disney movie opposite the princess. People are dumb.

Also, he really misses his bestie Gaddafi, who the U.S. killed. Sir, your appeal of why you are switching parties shouldn’t be because you didn’t get an invite to THAT guy’s annual BBQ since he’s dead now.

And then, he is really feeling SquirrelWig McRacistpants. Talmbout: “I like Donald Trump because he speaks from the heart. Make America Great Again is a great slogan. I would like to meet him.”

security evelyn

SECURITY!!! Come get Uncle Malik, please!

So he’s gonna carry himself back to the U.S. to vote in November. I just wish Customs could hold him there for like 2-3 days so he misses the chance. I’m petty. I stand in it.

Who told Malik Obama that anyone gives a damb who he’s voting for? sir, you’re about as relevant as the gum I just spit out. Go away. There is always that one person you know who will pop up like a zit right before an important occasion.

He is that family member you begrudgingly invited to a function 20 years ago because your Granny told you to let him come. And you know you can’t argue with Grandma. So his raggedy ass comes to your house and steals jewelry when you aren’t looking. All you got are regrets and you walk by your grandmother and you wish you could cuss her out but you can’t so you just sulk. It’s all her fault.

I see why the Barack doesn’t talk to his half-brother. Clearly, Malik got the sense God gave a goat. What an enemy of progress. MTCHEW.

MALIK, YOU DON’T EVEN GO TO THIS SCHOOL. Ijot. Olodo oshi.

Doesnt go here mean girls

Who even went and asked Malik who he was endorsing?? I haz questions.

Him, Roger Clinton and Billy Carter can go jump off a step stool and form a club called “The Trifling Trifecta” where they meet once a month to throw darts at pictures of their much more successful relatives.

It must suck being the living embodiment of “Everybody ain’t able.”

I betchu he text Barack and got a reply of “new number, who dis?” With family like that, who needs enemies? Blood outchea thinner than acetone. GO AWAY, MALIK. You’re embarrassing yourself. Bitter is a terrible color on anyone.


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29 Comments

  1. Kasey
    July 24, 2016 at 4:45 pm

    Interesting how Trump was main birther advocate against Obama (and any member of his family) when Obama initially sought office…fast forward 8 years and now an Obama family member is credible enough to parade around.

  2. Wendylous
    July 24, 2016 at 4:54 pm

    What a stain.

  3. MNLioness
    July 24, 2016 at 5:00 pm

    And that DT is pleased with the endorsement. SMH.

  4. July 24, 2016 at 5:04 pm

    “If I cackled any louder I might be cast opposite a Disney princess.” This is why I luv Luvvie.

  5. B.
    July 24, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    He’s embarassing my beloved Kenya…we just dealt with Koffi Olomide during the weekend and now this…..

    • Juliet
      July 26, 2016 at 1:27 am

      I know! We should deport him too…

  6. a
    July 24, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    bc of my religion im not a same sex marriage supporter but wait. how you gon be a polygamist again gay marriage i have questions?

    • Meg
      July 24, 2016 at 9:11 pm

      Question: you realize not everyone is your religion, right? It’s fine if you don’t wanna get married to someone of your gender–no one gonna make you. But why are you supportive of putting legislation in place that would prevent other people–who are likely not your religion or at least don’t share your beliefs–from doing what they wish? It’s not hurting you. It’s not degrading the “sanctity of marriage.” It’s people with different beliefs than you who are in love. It’s not like they’re gonna make you sit down and make you watch them consummate the dang thing at the reception.

      Can you imagine how you’d feel if another religon came along and tried to pass laws making parts of their religion law, while interfering with YOUR ability to live YOUR life? You would be up in arms. Frankly, your position is extremely selfish if you voted against same-sex marriage.

      Like I said, no one is making you get married to someone of your same gender, so what is there to be against? You don’t even have to support it. You can give it the internal side-eye and think it’s gross all you want, even! But you shouldn’t be against allowing people to do what they want, follow their heart, etc.–unless you’re okay with others being allowed to do the same dang thing to you. It’s hypocritical as hell otherwise. Who other people marry–as long as they are consenting adults–has no effect on you, whatsoever, so you should not be able to weigh in on whether or not they should be allowed to be together legally. It’s absolutely none of your business.

      Can you imagine if the roles were reversed, and gay men and women were saying how they didn’t support straight marriage? You’d be losing your shit. Please think about that, and change your opinion. You don’t have to like it, and certainly no one is trying to make you want one, but having to proclaim you “don’t support it” is dumb. Just be neutral and let others do what they want, since you likely don’t want people with other beliefs telling you what you can and can’t do, do you?

      • Aqua
        July 24, 2016 at 9:34 pm

        Gosh! Relax, she was referring to a statement by Malik. It’s not her who doesn’t support gay marriage, it’s Malik Obama. She is pondering the irony of the religion that frowns on gay marriages but accepts polygamy. How did you miss that?

        • notconvincedgranny
          July 25, 2016 at 4:25 pm

          She did say she’s against it because of her religion. It was her first statement.How did you miss that? Reading is fundamental/the more you know.

      • July 25, 2016 at 2:40 am

        Ah ahhhhhh calm down! You are preaching to the wrong person who was actually against the man’s hypocrisy

  7. a
    July 24, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    against

  8. a
    July 24, 2016 at 6:02 pm

    also i doesnt donald want to ban him from coming here lol. okay just wondering.

  9. AC
    July 24, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    “…the living embodiment of “Everybody ain’t able.””😮😂😂😂

    Between that and the rest of Uncle ‘Lik-‘Lik’s foolishness…*sigh*

    Just please stick a fork in me because I’m done…

  10. July 24, 2016 at 6:14 pm

    I work in Uganda and I find a lot of men there like Trump. They think he’s cool and funny. Of course, as Trevor Noah pointed out, Trumps a lot like an African an strong man president. Anyway, I argue with these guys. I tell ‘m Trumps a racist. They don’t care. I tell them he’s an idiot and he makes fun of handicapped people. They laugh. I say he wants to ship out all the Muslims, and they say they do, too. Then I tell them he said his daughter’s so hot, if she wasn’t his daughter, he’d date her. That stops them in their tracks. Silence. Really? Oh, he’s a terrible guy. Go figure. I’ve had this discussion many times.

    • July 24, 2016 at 6:39 pm

      Wow. But actually I thought Trump was funny and entertaining too. He was the reason why I watched the debates. But I never imagined he could possibly really become the President..craziness.

  11. Erin
    July 24, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    The key for me is “lives in Kenya”. How is he voting for anyone here?

    • Leya
      July 25, 2016 at 10:37 am

      My thoughts exactly

    • toogeeky4u
      July 25, 2016 at 5:09 pm

      Yes he can, unfortunately vote here in the US! He’s registered to vote in MD!

  12. Stacy Fitzgerald-Redd
    July 24, 2016 at 9:39 pm

    I share your posts all the time. I will not be sharing this foul mess. He is not ever invited to the cookout. Ever.

  13. YOLANDA
    July 24, 2016 at 10:34 pm

    “Who told Malik Obama that anyone gives a damb who he’s voting for? sir, you’re about as relevant as the gum I just spit out. Go away. There is always that one person you know who will pop up like a zit right before an important occasion.”

    Madaam, this has me laid out….I may need help getting up. THIS is why we go together Luvvie!!!

  14. Sylvia C Brown
    July 24, 2016 at 10:47 pm

    Negro’s teeth are the same color as GOP Nominee Cheeto. You can’t truss somebody who lets his mouth get discolored. Don’t even give him the honorific “uncle” because even though he is gram’s oldest you still call ’em by the street name–bootsie, peedie, etc., etc.

    • Juliet
      July 26, 2016 at 1:48 am

      LMAO

  15. Drea823
    July 25, 2016 at 7:25 pm

    I’m so tired. Can we just find another planet to move to? This one has gone to the shitter, in lightning speed. I has the sadz. 😓

  16. Princesssookeh
    July 25, 2016 at 10:47 pm

    When the #Blaxit comes; Check ALL compartments. We don;t want his raggedy ass stowing away.

  17. Coqui
    July 26, 2016 at 8:48 am

    Wait, who is Malik?
    Is this Roy?
    I mean…If your brother has aliases…and you’re POTUS, perhaps it’s good they don’t speak.
    Every family has one

  18. The Bougie Hobo
    July 27, 2016 at 11:24 am

    It must suck being the living embodiment of “Everybody ain’t able.”

    💀💀💀💀💀

  19. October 19, 2016 at 11:56 pm

    […] Malik Obama is An Enemy of Progress […]

  20. Mutheu
    November 9, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    Fuck you Malik! Get you head outta Cheeto face ass and clean them damn teeth. Eeewww