The Devil is a Walking Cheeto Running for President
The Devil doesn’t wear Prada. He wears a self-branded suit that’s made in China as he rails against immigrants and threatens to build a Wall as if anyone who isn’t American is a White Walker. The Long Night is here. Note: I’m sorry but there are just too many Game of Thrones parallels in this election cycle.
We knew this was happening. But for it to really happen, it’s like “oh so this is the gateway to hell.” I see. Where is the beast we were threatened with? Well, that squirrel-wig adorned monster, Donald Trump, is the official Republican nominee for President. The man who folks laughed at when he declared he was even running in the first place. The man who folks said would not get far in the race. That man beat the rest and stood on a stage and proudly accepted his presidential nomination.
That man, who folks say “cannot win” has defied all the jokes til now and he is the last GOP man standing. In a field of weeds, the most rotten weed refused to be plucked out, and has spread its filth across the grass. Now we have nothing but weeds because we let it grow. We gave it room. And here we are, with brown grass. The green is gone.
And that ignoramus accepted by giving a speech that was full of lies, thinly veiled racism, islamophobia, more lies, and just overall nutbaggery. The man is a power-hungry sociopath and I am more frightened than ever that he will get into the White House and we are all doomed.
I was almost expecting Satan to rise up from the bottom of the stage to high five his mentee and congratulate him on making him proud. That speech. I was like “Apocalypse now.”
So here we are. We have to do EVERYTHING in our power to make sure that walking cheeto never steps foot in the Oval Office, y’all! We have to vote in November.
It’s never been funny to me. His candidacy has frightened me from the very beginning and people laughed. Those who didn’t take him seriously are now biting their fists. Those who didn’t speak up when they could have done something now have regrets. Even the person who ghostwrote his memoir “Art of the Deal” feels deep remorse. The man is an abscess.
And now. I’m just petrified. I am afraid that America is going to let this man win the highest office. It is a real possibility and it makes me wanna weep and lay in a fetal position.
So here I am, feeling like we need to hit the PANIC button. But most importantly, we need to prevent that racist, misogynist, homophobe, xenophobe from ever stepping into the White House as anything but a visitor. We need to do everything that’s in our power to make sure the President of the United States of America is NEVER TRUMP.
Seriously. And before you sit there saying “he won’t win.” History is full of folks who were underestimated but showed the world that mistakes are made when you look away from those types. Shit, look at what recently happened in the UK, with Brexit. Citizens assumed that wouldn’t go down like it did and now they are in utter shambles.
I ain’t too proud to beg and I AM BEGGING YOU. I know you might not like Hillary. BUT PLEASE. Please. Volunteer your vote as tribute! Vote for her so Trump doesn’t become President. I am BEGGING YOU. I know, Beloved. She’s the lesser of two evils. You hate her past record. I get it. I’m not trying to hold your vote hostage, smart person with principles. Yes, I know I am asking you to go against them here and how dare I do that? I get it. I am being unfair.
But for the love of all that is good and preventing of the apocalypse. Please. I know you’ll be mad at me as you go to that ballot. I will accept your side-eye. I am asking you to vote for her, and you can cuss me out afterwards. I don’t care how much you do not like Hillary. Her as president and Trump as president are not the same. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME.
Do you understand the SYMBOLIC meaning of Trump’s rise? Do you understand the era he will usher in? Do you get the damage he’d do? Do you know the damage he has already done? He has moved the Republican party so far right, that lifelong GOPers are jumping ship. He has created an environment that welcomes rhetoric that is so dangerous that watching the RNC felt like folks just took off their white hoods before stepping on stage, kinda like on Sister Act 2 when Sister Mary Clarence told them to take off their robes right before they went on to perform “Joyful, Joyful.” He has emboldened the racists to “no longer be politically correct” enough to where his rallies feel like KKK meetings. THAT man being in charge of the nuclear codes and the policies? NO THANK YOU.
We cannot let that happen. THIS IS NOT A DAMB DRILL. And don’t sit your ass there talmbout you gon “write in” Bernie or vote for Jill Stein. THAT IS A WASTE OF TIME. Lemme tell you why. Bernie is done with this run so your one last pout to rep your Bernie Bro squad is just something you’ll do to make yourself feel better.
And let’s be real. Jill Stein (or Gary Johnson) are not winning this election. I have about as much chance as they do to become President in 2016. The Third Party conversation is something we need to have but it is the 11th hour, and that is not a convo that should start at the highest level in the land. My friend Laurie White put it best when she said: “Let’s start with some third party mayors or city council presidents or crossing guards or the like this year. That’ll give us time to fend off this lunatic and regroup. He’s the bad Pokemon. We all level up if he’s eliminated posthaste.”
So. We have two choices for president in November. And one of them might be the antichrist we were threatened with in the Book of Revelations, and he wears a wig that seems both alive and dead at once. That cannot be the person representing us at the G8 Summit.
Oh and all the folks talmbout “I’ll just leave the U.S. if Trump wins.” With your privileged ass. You want to leave this place to burn for those without a choice? Because guess what? The people who will suffer the most if Trump does what he says he will do are the people who always get the brunt of the consequences: poor people of color and women. I have another passport but that doesn’t mean I just jump ship. THIS is home. Abandoning it is not a choice I’m considering. We fight for it.
We fight. We vote for Hillary and hold her gahtdamb feet to the fire. WE. HOLD. HER. FEET. TO. THE. FIRE. so she does what she has to do. Do you understand me? This is not a “get out of doing a good job” card for her. This does not mean she is above reproach. I would rather SHE pick the folks who will fill the three Supreme Court seats that might be open between now and 2020. I am confident that she won’t start World War III in her first month in office and she doesn’t call us “The Blacks” and trot out 2 fools named Diamond and Silk to vouch for her.
We give her a majority Dem Congress to work with and we hold everyone accountable.
In November, we have to vote, smart people. Because otherwise, dumb people will determine our fate. We have to tell Satan NO.
Some people are like “well my vote doesn’t matter. My state is already red (or blue).” LEMME TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED IN ILLINOIS. We turned Red last year after being Blue for a long time and now we’re stuck with hapless Bruce Rauner, who has managed to turn this state on its head in 15 months. Rauner being Governor of Illinois is proof that a blue state can turn red quick with low voter turnout. We were all STUNNED and folks were feeling guilty because they just never ESPERRIT (expect it, Naija style). Folks ASSUMING their vote doesn’t count. Sure, 1 might not seem like it but 1 million people making the same assumption? FAIL WHALE.
BTW, 88% of Congress is up for election this year. This is the year where we can sweep Congress out, and people are daring to say they’re not voting. DAFUQ?? November is beyond just voting for President. Not voting shouldn’t be an option. IT IS NOT AN OPTION!
So yeah. I will risk being called “fear mongering.” And I will risk being told I am overreacting. Of course no one HAS to do anything but pay taxes and steal away to Jesus when the time comes. But I am imploring folks to think past their “principles” here. Because allowing a man who has been compared to Hitler to run this country is just… NAWL.
My friend Wakim put it perfectly when he said “You know how you look back in history and see horrible people rise to power and you’re like how? Look at [the RNC].”
All I know is. About Trump possibly winning?
Oh, and shoutout to Ted Cruz for basically being like “fuck this guy. I’m out.” He Kanye’d the RNC stage, which might count as the best thing he’s ever done in his slimy ass life. Even he got his limits. And a world where Ted Cruz is the most reasonable person in the room is not one I want to be a part of. But his coward ass is probably still gonna vote for Trump come November 8. So there’s that.
All I know is that if you don’t vote and Trump becomes president, DON’T SAY SHIT TO ME. In real life, virtual reality, fake life. Don’t say a gahtdamb thing to me. With your principled ass.