The Devil is a Walking Cheeto Running for President

The Devil doesn’t wear Prada. He wears a self-branded suit that’s made in China as he rails against immigrants and threatens to build a Wall as if anyone who isn’t American is a White Walker. The Long Night is here. Note: I’m sorry but there are just too many Game of Thrones parallels in this election cycle.

We knew this was happening. But for it to really happen, it’s like “oh so this is the gateway to hell.” I see. Where is the beast we were threatened with? Well, that squirrel-wig adorned monster, Donald Trump, is the official Republican nominee for President. The man who folks laughed at when he declared he was even running in the first place. The man who folks said would not get far in the race. That man beat the rest and stood on a stage and proudly accepted his presidential nomination.

Donald Trump RNC speech

Literal butt face.

That man, who folks say “cannot win” has defied all the jokes til now and he is the last GOP man standing. In a field of weeds, the most rotten weed refused to be plucked out, and has spread its filth across the grass. Now we have nothing but weeds because we let it grow. We gave it room. And here we are, with brown grass. The green is gone.

And that ignoramus accepted by giving a speech that was full of lies, thinly veiled racism, islamophobia, more lies, and just overall nutbaggery. The man is a power-hungry sociopath and I am more frightened than ever that he will get into the White House and we are all doomed.

I was almost expecting Satan to rise up from the bottom of the stage to high five his mentee and congratulate him on making him proud. That speech. I was like “Apocalypse now.”

NOPE gif

So here we are. We have to do EVERYTHING in our power to make sure that walking cheeto never steps foot in the Oval Office, y’all! We have to vote in November.

It’s never been funny to me. His candidacy has frightened me from the very beginning and people laughed. Those who didn’t take him seriously are now biting their fists. Those who didn’t speak up when they could have done something now have regrets. Even the person who ghostwrote his memoir “Art of the Deal” feels deep remorse. The man is an abscess.

And now. I’m just petrified. I am afraid that America is going to let this man win the highest office. It is a real possibility and it makes me wanna weep and lay in a fetal position.


So here I am, feeling like we need to hit the PANIC button. But most importantly, we need to prevent that racist, misogynist, homophobe, xenophobe from ever stepping into the White House as anything but a visitor. We need to do everything that’s in our power to make sure the President of the United States of America is NEVER TRUMP.

Seriously. And before you sit there saying “he won’t win.” History is full of folks who were underestimated but showed the world that mistakes are made when you look away from those types. Shit, look at what recently happened in the UK, with Brexit. Citizens assumed that wouldn’t go down like it did and now they are in utter shambles.

I ain’t too proud to beg and I AM BEGGING YOU. I know you might not like Hillary. BUT PLEASE. Please. Volunteer your vote as tribute! Vote for her so Trump doesn’t become President. I am BEGGING YOU. I know, Beloved. She’s the lesser of two evils. You hate her past record. I get it. I’m not trying to hold your vote hostage, smart person with principles. Yes, I know I am asking you to go against them here and how dare I do that? I get it. I am being unfair.

Sorry Not Rihanna gif

But for the love of all that is good and preventing of the apocalypse. Please. I know you’ll be mad at me as you go to that ballot. I will accept your side-eye. I am asking you to vote for her, and you can cuss me out afterwards. I don’t care how much you do not like Hillary. Her as president and Trump as president are not the same. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME.

Do you understand the SYMBOLIC meaning of Trump’s rise? Do you understand the era he will usher in? Do you get the damage he’d do? Do you know the damage he has already done? He has moved the Republican party so far right, that lifelong GOPers are jumping ship. He has created an environment that welcomes rhetoric that is so dangerous that watching the RNC felt like folks just took off their white hoods before stepping on stage, kinda like on Sister Act 2 when Sister Mary Clarence told them to take off their robes right before they went on to perform “Joyful, Joyful.” He has emboldened the racists to “no longer be politically correct” enough to where his rallies feel like KKK meetings. THAT man being in charge of the nuclear codes and the policies? NO THANK YOU.

We cannot let that happen. THIS IS NOT A DAMB DRILL. And don’t sit your ass there talmbout you gon “write in” Bernie or vote for Jill Stein. THAT IS A WASTE OF TIME. Lemme tell you why. Bernie is done with this run so your one last pout to rep your Bernie Bro squad is just something you’ll do to make yourself feel better.

And let’s be real. Jill Stein (or Gary Johnson) are not winning this election. I have about as much chance as they do to become President in 2016. The Third Party conversation is something we need to have but it is the 11th hour, and that is not a convo that should start at the highest level in the land. My friend Laurie White put it best when she said: “Let’s start with some third party mayors or city council presidents or crossing guards or the like this year. That’ll give us time to fend off this lunatic and regroup. He’s the bad Pokemon. We all level up if he’s eliminated posthaste.”


So. We have two choices for president in November. And one of them might be the antichrist we were threatened with in the Book of Revelations, and he wears a wig that seems both alive and dead at once. That cannot be the person representing us at the G8 Summit.

Oh and all the folks talmbout “I’ll just leave the U.S. if Trump wins.” With your privileged ass. You want to leave this place to burn for those without a choice? Because guess what? The people who will suffer the most if Trump does what he says he will do are the people who always get the brunt of the consequences: poor people of color and women. I have another passport but that doesn’t mean I just jump ship. THIS is home. Abandoning it is not a choice I’m considering. We fight for it.

We fight. We vote for Hillary and hold her gahtdamb feet to the fire. WE. HOLD. HER. FEET. TO. THE. FIRE. so she does what she has to do. Do you understand me? This is not a “get out of doing a good job” card for her. This does not mean she is above reproach. I would rather SHE pick the folks who will fill the three Supreme Court seats that might be open between now and 2020. I am confident that she won’t start World War III in her first month in office and she doesn’t call us “The Blacks” and trot out 2 fools named Diamond and Silk to vouch for her.

We give her a majority Dem Congress to work with and we hold everyone accountable.

In November, we have to vote, smart people. Because otherwise, dumb people will determine our fate. We have to tell Satan NO.

not today satan

Some people are like “well my vote doesn’t matter. My state is already red (or blue).” LEMME TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED IN ILLINOIS. We turned Red last year after being Blue for a long time and now we’re stuck with hapless Bruce Rauner, who has managed to turn this state on its head in 15 months. Rauner being Governor of Illinois is proof that a blue state can turn red quick with low voter turnout. We were all STUNNED and folks were feeling guilty because they just never ESPERRIT (expect it, Naija style). Folks ASSUMING their vote doesn’t count. Sure, 1 might not seem like it but 1 million people making the same assumption? FAIL WHALE.

BTW, 88% of Congress is up for election this year. This is the year where we can sweep Congress out, and people are daring to say they’re not voting. DAFUQ?? November is beyond just voting for President. Not voting shouldn’t be an option. IT IS NOT AN OPTION!


So yeah. I will risk being called “fear mongering.” And I will risk being told I am overreacting. Of course no one HAS to do anything but pay taxes and steal away to Jesus when the time comes. But I am imploring folks to think past their “principles” here. Because allowing a man who has been compared to Hitler to run this country is just… NAWL.

My friend Wakim put it perfectly when he said “You know how you look back in history and see horrible people rise to power and you’re like how? Look at [the RNC].”

All I know is. About Trump possibly winning?

Nope Space gif

Oh, and shoutout to Ted Cruz for basically being like “fuck this guy. I’m out.” He Kanye’d the RNC stage, which might count as the best thing he’s ever done in his slimy ass life. Even he got his limits. And a world where Ted Cruz is the most reasonable person in the room is not one I want to be a part of. But his coward ass is probably still gonna vote for Trump come November 8. So there’s that.

All I know is that if you don’t vote and Trump becomes president, DON’T SAY SHIT TO ME. In real life, virtual reality, fake life. Don’t say a gahtdamb thing to me. With your principled ass.

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  1. Sweetheart
    July 22, 2016 at 10:39 am

    Luvvie, your words give such MEANING to what is one of the most important presidential nominations of my generation. I, like you share a DEEP CONCERN that somehow Trump will become president. I am begging more and more people to vote Hilary, even if they may not agree with her for personal reasons, her POLITICAL history should stand on its own. A former first lady, who also served as both a senator AND secretary of state, HOW COULD SHE NOT BE QUALIFIED TO LEAD? I pray that AMERICA is smart enough to realize Trump is going to lead us straight into a world of chaos. The entire RNC was just a bunch of HATE wrapped together using scare tactics and LIES. Thank you for continuing to spread your WORDS OF WISDOM and I hope MORE PEOPLE realize that in order for things to continue improving we need a leader who will focus on PROGRESS and not HATE. Its’ insane to think our presidential candidates are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, Hilary although disliked by some for the most insane reasons is the most qualified against a reality tv host who has no political history or experience what so ever, but because he can appeal to the most critical and bigoted Americans has somehow became her opponent. I was hoping for a legitimate political race, but this has turned into a freak show. JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL because I am not so confident in these United States of America. Keep posting GIRL you are the TRUTH in a world monopolized by LIARS.

  2. Wendy Sharp
    July 22, 2016 at 10:41 am

    I am sooooooooo with you on this one!!!! The people better hear the words that are coming out of your mouth, this is not a game and it’s most definitely not funny anymore!!!!!

  3. July 22, 2016 at 10:42 am

    This. I can’t stand Hillary. I think she’s an awful person with little (if any) integrity. But I will vote for her in November because the alternative is a whole other level of evil.

  4. Stacy
    July 22, 2016 at 10:49 am

    SO. MUCH. TRUTH. It’s our duty as Americans to do all we can to keep this man out of the White House. No good will come from it. Literally, none. As much as the thought displeases me, I will vote Hilary because, Armageddon.

  5. oyvayeryday
    July 22, 2016 at 10:51 am

    You know, I laughed at the #Blaxit blogs and comments: they were like that little thing that rocks back and forth on a pressure cooker to vent and release the steam to keep the pot from blowing up. This blog today is SERIOUS; it is a Call to Action–Never Trump, so Each One Take One to the Polls. PLEASE

  6. Vic
    July 22, 2016 at 10:54 am

    I will be happily voting for Hillary, not just because i think she will do well, but because i am a single issue voter, and that issue is not breaking the seventh seal and ushering in the damn apocalypse.

    • July 22, 2016 at 1:55 pm

      This is everything to me today.

    • NikkiFree
      July 22, 2016 at 3:04 pm

      Vic, you hit the nail on the head! Trump will indeed break the seal.

    • Lorna
      July 22, 2016 at 3:06 pm

      You betta PREACH, Vic!!! I’m with you 100%

    • Jana
      July 22, 2016 at 7:47 pm

      Vic, that’s perfect!

    • Michelle B.
      July 22, 2016 at 9:20 pm

      Vic – This quote sums up my feelings for this election precisely. When I go canvasing for HRC this will be at the top of my talking points on why to vote for her. You need to tweet this comment TODAY. I’m willing to bet my hair money #singleissueseventhseal would be a trending topic.

    • July 22, 2016 at 11:03 pm

      You win the internet today. Along with Luvvie. I’m shamelessly stealing your brilliance.


    • JBL
      July 23, 2016 at 4:23 pm

      Righteous on that one brother!!

    • Krista
      July 24, 2016 at 1:39 pm

      This. This exactly.

    • kate in mi
      July 24, 2016 at 5:38 pm


  7. yup yup
    July 22, 2016 at 10:59 am

    Thank you, Luvvie. I’m from California (where lotsa folks swore Reagan and Ah-nold could “never become Governor”, oops) so I’m not been even the slightest bit amused by any of this Drumpf nonsense. We need him to lose and lose BAD – thanks for your part in ensuring it!

  8. DCFem
    July 22, 2016 at 11:00 am

    Much respect. I will vote for her just to save the affordable care act and a woman’s right to bodily autonomy. Hillary isn’t perfect but she is smart and won’t start world war three because she thinks somebody dissed her like that thin skinned cheeto would.

    • Morning Glory
      July 23, 2016 at 12:54 pm

      I’mma need FritoLay to get on making “Thin Skinned Cheetos” stat! Thanks for the laugh!

    • vanitaapplebum
      July 25, 2016 at 3:16 pm

      “thin skinned Cheeto”

      I spit my water out! I will be using this dis in the near future….

  9. Whit
    July 22, 2016 at 11:04 am

    I done died at “nutbaggery”. Yea, I’m right next to you in red Indiana and when President Obama ran the first time we went blue, so yea, it can happen.

    I’on like Hil, but I dang for sure would crawl back into my momma with my child if Trump gets it. We just gone live right here in Nana land and be content.

  10. Zach
    July 22, 2016 at 11:06 am

    Thank you for using your platform to make this case. Please continue to do it again and again between now and November. This is not a drill. A major party nominated a guy who made a straight fascist speech last night. “I ALONE CAN FIX IT?!” What the hell man.

    Thank you again.

    • Meg
      July 22, 2016 at 11:41 am

      THIS. I had a PTSD flashback to high school world history on that one. Textbook fascism.

    • TooOldForThis
      July 22, 2016 at 9:13 pm

      Yep. If necessary, repost every week til November!

  11. Jacque
    July 22, 2016 at 11:07 am

    I am Canadian by way of England by way of the Caribbean. I have watched in horror and disbelief the progression of Trump’s descent into the position of presidential nominee of the GOP. Folks, please, please, please, I hate to admit it, but what happens down there in US affects almost EVERYBODY else in the world, and it definitely affects us up here in Canada. I know your country isn’t all it could be and some of y’all may have gotten to the point where you just don’t care anymore, but Luvvie is so right on this. Think about the rest of us. This is not just something that is going to affect America, this is a worldwide problem. So, slap some band aids on, grab some duct tape, pour out the crazy glue. Whatever it takes, go out there with your busloads of people, church folk, work folk, families…whatever it takes, get out there and VOTE for Hilary.

    • Coco Malaika
      July 23, 2016 at 6:05 am

      YAAAASSSSS!!! I wish the rest of the world could vote – believe me we would turn up en masse to vote for Hilary.

  12. Jillian
    July 22, 2016 at 11:09 am

    Luvvie, I already unfriended, blocked, and stopped speaking to anyone who dared utter that foolishness within earshot of me…..hell I friended some of them just so I can block and unfriend them, because from the minute he declared his candidacy I saw the writing on the wall and realized it was NOT A TEST!!!!!

    • Shollymore
      July 22, 2016 at 12:44 pm

      you need to refriend and unblock those people and beg and plead and kiss ass like you got no pride to ensure that they vote for Hilary and not rebel and put down Bernie or stein or anybody else or completely skip on voting.

      No point preaching to the choir, you need plenty converts between now and November. I am begging you to please unvex and follow Luvvie’s lead instead. Vex after the election if Trump wins (REBUKED IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME… AMEN, AMIN, ASE)

      From Your family across the Pond in the UK… We all gonna suffer if trump makes it. Please lets keep #Blaxit a joke

  13. Michele
    July 22, 2016 at 11:12 am

    Donald Trump was only ever funny to white people. Black people have known the deal about him forever, from not letting us move into his NYC properties back in the early days, from having Black employees removed from his sight whenever he visited one of his Atlantic City casinos (I grew up there so this was common knowledge among the locals), and need I mention the Central Park Five?

    My animus for Hillary runs deep and she should be held accountable for things she’s done in the past, but we can get all up in her ass once she gets in the White House. It’s really all hands on deck time, and if last night didn’t drive that point home I don’t know what will. I get queasy just thinking about Trump now getting regular security briefings, so he’s the absolute last person to have access to the nuclear bomb codes so he can take out Germany because Angela Merkel looked at him funny.

    I’ll wrap up with this: my downstairs neighbor is an 81 year old woman who was born in Russia and moved to the US in the ’50s. The stories she has told me about her childhood during WWII are no joke, really chilling stuff. For the last year or so she’s been telling me straight up that when she hears Trump speak and his views it’s making her flash back to when she was a young girl. It’s one thing for folks to say oh y’all are overdoing it with the Hitler comparisons, but when somebody who actually LIVED IT is sounding the alarm…

    • July 23, 2016 at 1:02 pm

      BELIEVE every word your neighbor speaks. In grad school I took a class on WWII and I had to do a lot of research on Hitler. I swear it’s like Trump is taking cues right out of the Hitler playbook. This is not a game. Germany’s morale was low, Hitler came in throwing blame on others, making sure certain ethnic groups became the pariahs of society, and promising how he would make things great like years before. The U.S. claims regrets over not getting involved sooner, but now it’s like many are ready to elect Hitler’s reincarnation. I don’t think any of it is funny at all.

  14. Deborah Cowell
    July 22, 2016 at 11:15 am

    Don’t you dare be afraid of your own comments section. Not on something like this. Quoting you: We cannot let that happen. THIS IS NOT A DAMB DRILL. Real talk? We are all here in this moment, having done all the reading and the writing and the struggling and the coping through laughter and tears specifically to make sure that we are ready when the time comes to join together to stop absolute madness. The time is now. We ARE here. Luvvie, I don’t say much on people’s jams ’cause that part just ain’t normally what I do but please know that I follow your work quietly, and I am certain you are a shining definition of what it means to be conscious. Thank you for this.

    • July 26, 2016 at 2:32 pm

      Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it was never more relevant than RIGHT NOW! Most Americans think it could never happen here – but isn’t that what most Germans thought? The entire Eastern Bloc wasn’t always a disaster – neighbors of differing values lived side-by-side in harmony – until divisiveness turned up to change all that. Society exists on the blade of a knife and it takes so very little to tip us over into darkness. Those who want to make a political statement can wait until we have regained some sense.

  15. Meg
    July 22, 2016 at 11:39 am

    The Antichrist with the wig that is both alive and dead!!! YASSSS!!! You speak to me. We gotta fix our country, and nothing’s getting fixed with that terrifying bigot in charge.

  16. Ramona Lowe
    July 22, 2016 at 11:40 am

    You truly live up to the awesome tag with this one. Well said–I laughed, I cried, I amen’d. You have hit it square on.

  17. Fabiola
    July 22, 2016 at 11:52 am

    Please, please, please, let’s NOT break the seventh seal! I’m already hearing the four horsemen…

  18. Maggie
    July 22, 2016 at 11:54 am

    There are a lot of states that are blue the same way Illinois was blue: there’s one big blue area, and the rest is solidly red. (Illinois–the always-red part, unfortunately– is currently my home. Minnesota was my home, and it’s just the same–the Twin Cities are blue, but the rest is deep red.) And that means that blue is not as safe as people like to think it is.

    • Emilie
      July 22, 2016 at 2:02 pm

      Actually, thankfully it is not true that only the Twin Cities area is blue and the rest red in Minnesota. I live in Duluth and Obama won in a landslide in our county in 2012 and most of the north half is traditionally blue. If that makes you feel any better. Was also proud that Trump didn’t get our state, Rubio did. Trump in the White House seriously scares me. I don’t see Trump getting Minnesota. http://www.politico.com/2012-election/results/president/minnesota/

  19. July 22, 2016 at 11:56 am

    I saw about 1 minute if this Barron’s speech and it left me bewildered, befuddled and worried. It was quite clear to me that Trump and his staff have been reviewing Hitler’s hate speeches during his rise to power in the Reich. Anyone who has ever watched a History channel special on the 2nd world War and holocaust would see the terrifying similarities and should warn and enlighten their friends, family, strangers on the street, bus or subway, because THIS IS NOT A DRILL, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, the world is in danger of this fools bringing the End of Days closer. I live in Canada now by way of Barbados and I can safely say that the world is waking up how dangerous uneducated bigoted masses can become, because this election and 2016 in general is showing the world just how racist and dangerous Americans can be and the ones with commonsense and decency need to stop talking and do the walking.

    • Carricnh12
      July 22, 2016 at 11:57 am

      I meant “baffoon’s” speech cause that is what he is,look it up.

  20. emv1102
    July 22, 2016 at 11:58 am

    Is it wrong that I’m really voting for Bill Clinton as First Husband/Man? I’m buying an I’m With Her shirt but seriously it’s Bill.

    • Zach
      July 22, 2016 at 12:17 pm

      Any rationale is fine by me. Just as long as you land on not Trump.

    • NikkiFree
      July 22, 2016 at 3:10 pm

      I think a LOT of people feel this way. Put Bill back in the White House and this really terrifies the far-right!

  21. a
    July 22, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    My husband said he would straight up divorce me if I vote for Hilary.

    Looks like I’m going to be single soon…

    • jesster
      July 22, 2016 at 12:57 pm

      Voting is private. you don’t have to tell your spouse your vote…
      that said, if he’s voting Trump, it might be D-I-V-O-R-C-E time…

    • JanuaryBabe
      July 22, 2016 at 8:09 pm

      You go girl! Leave his sorry ass! Don’t worry we will all get together and find you another man!!!! Next!

  22. angelicaj
    July 22, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Gurrrrl, you ain’t nevah lied!!!! I’ve been following your for a minute, Luvvie, but never commented. I had to come thru today and speak out. Girl, yaaaaas! All of this!!! His stage set alone with that big ass TRUMP on it, I was waiting for the SS come to come storming out. NOT A DRILL, PEOPLE! Get yourselves together. Get outta your feelings. Put on your grownup panties and vote for Hillary. Don’t mess around cuz we’ll be out here listening to this numbnut giving State of the Union addresses. Can. You. Imagine. That?!

    No, God. Vote for Hillary.

  23. KDAV
    July 22, 2016 at 12:31 pm

    That orange shittard means no good for America….unless you’re already white and privileged. Please vote. Please, please, please VOTE!’ Vote NO to the mind-phuckery…He does not mean any of us any good…

  24. Valerie
    July 22, 2016 at 12:47 pm

    When a Trump advisor says that Hillary should be lined up and shot for treason without a trial, doesn’t that make him the same as a radicalized Muslim who hands us death sentences? Maybe we should start calling Trump supporters “Radicalized Republicans.”

  25. Sam
    July 22, 2016 at 1:08 pm

    Seems like you’re fighting hate and hyperbole with hate and hyperbole. If we vote 3rd party, it doesn’t guarantee a Trump win, it guarantees an American win.

    • pamela
      July 22, 2016 at 1:13 pm

      In this situation a 3rd party vote is a vote for Trump. You are simply dividing the votes that could make him lose.

    • notconvincedgranny
      July 22, 2016 at 2:33 pm

      Not sure if trolling or not. If not, I apologize in advance. If you are, I refer you to #TrumpSpeechInFourWords. #attentionspan.

  26. blackberry molasses
    July 22, 2016 at 2:17 pm

    so… you know how you said there are so many Game of Thrones references in this election cycle and you couldn’t be more right.

    case in point- i read a new york times article about trump’s selection process for vp running mate.


    “One day this past May, Donald Trump’s eldest son, Donald Trump Jr., reached out to a senior adviser to Gov. John Kasich of Ohio, who left the presidential race just a few weeks before. As a candidate, Kasich declared in March that Trump was ‘really not prepared to be president of the United States,’ and the following month he took the highly unusual step of coordinating with his rival Senator Ted Cruz in an effort to deny Trump the nomination. But according to the Kasich adviser (who spoke only under the condition that he not be named), Donald Jr. wanted to make him an offer nonetheless: Did he have any interest in being the most powerful vice president in history?

    When Kasich’s adviser asked how this would be the case, Donald Jr. explained that his father’s vice president would be in charge of domestic and foreign policy.

    Then what, the adviser asked, would Trump be in charge of?

    ‘Making America great again’ was the casual reply.”

    it reads like Robert Baratheon riding up to winterfell to ask Ned Stark to be hand of the king. only with way less likeability. Trump doesn’t want to be President. he just wants to WIN. he’s all ego. he will fight to the death to win and then leave the actual governing to Pence. which is fucking scary, if you know anything about Pence.

  27. fuschia
    July 22, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    whoo lawd! speak chile!!!

  28. Kim
    July 22, 2016 at 2:19 pm

    Thank you, thank you, Luvvie! Keep sounding the alarm!

    One of your commenters above says that Trump is “no good for America…unless you’re already white and privileged.” I say that Trump, and especially Pence, are no good for ANY woman of ANY race – or ANY person identifying as a woman. I am an old white woman and my privilege won’t prevent Trump, Pence, and a Republican held Congress from taking away a woman’s right to choose or screwing over women in other ways.

    I’ve never been a Hillary supporter – voted for Barack Obama in the 2008 primary and Bernie Sanders this year – but I’ve always been a Democrat. Which means I voted for Bill Clinton twice, and he was by no means perfect. So, I’ll vote for Hillary this November…because this is no longer a presidential election, it’s a battle between good and evil.

  29. notconvincedgranny
    July 22, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    Don’t think of it as voting FOR Hilary. Think of it as voting AGAINST bullshit wandering around looking like Orange Julius. The only reason this gat damn diggery don’t can call anybody is because no reflective surface has remained intact long enough for him to see himself. And he’d have to stop squinting long enough to take in all that slithery snakety-snakeness that is his loathsome visage.

    Chuck “too many roundhouse kicks to the head” Norris swore there would be a thousand years of darkness if Obama were re-elected; I’m stating for the record that if Drumpf is selected (I doubt the whole election possibility) there will be a thousand years without orange juice. He’ll be bathing in it to maintain his glow.

    And please forgive me, I don’t bash kids, but something about ‘Lil Barron was giving me Damien: The Omen realness.

  30. July 22, 2016 at 2:56 pm

    Raised Jewish and grew up with stories that are becoming current reality. Why (some) people aren’t more terrified shrieks volumes about their status in dominant (and domineering culture). Also, I’m old enough to have spent lots (toofngmuch) time w/Leftist men during the 1970s and experience Sanders like a bad flashback to all *that* bully, bluster, bravado, and sexism. Oh I could go on and on…but won’t. Loved your tweets last night and this post today (ALL your posts). Keep speaking truth to stupid and don’twannahearit.

  31. NiHi
    July 22, 2016 at 2:59 pm

    You are so right! This s*** is scary. When he first announced everybody was laughing saying he’ll never win the nomination. CNN and MSNBC gave him millions of dollars in free air time and they have been on their knees blowing him every sense. There is no way President Obama could have won the nomination insulting his competitors the way Trump did. He also couldn’t have gotten away with not showing his tax returns. We gave got to start taking things more seriously. That means not only voting during presidential elections but the local ones too. #shitjustgotreal

  32. April
    July 22, 2016 at 3:07 pm


  33. Allel
    July 22, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    I don’t like Clinton. But I’m not voting for a BFF, I’m voting for President.

  34. Berlena
    July 22, 2016 at 3:25 pm

    Yes, Vic! Chris Christie, Don Jr, Eric, and Pence… the four horsemen, ya’ll.

  35. Reese
    July 22, 2016 at 3:58 pm

    I’m surely convinced, that the three Horsemen of the Apocalypse are just waiting for their cue. It’s like picking between Satan, or Satan’s right hand man who got the boot from heaven right after he did talmbout “you know what, Lucifer had a good point, im out this bitch!” I still have yet to comprehend how Trump made it this far. He has shown us who he is the entire time but people in this country, who i am convinced have limited comprehension skills, literally lost their mind and voted for him. He was supposed to be a joke, you know something to entertain us until real candidates shone through. I don’t understand how we got here….

  36. Gee
    July 22, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    Now is not the time to do nothing. There is still time, there is still hope. It is so important that we ask friends, coworkers and relatives if they ARE registered to vote! Lots of people are not and simply don’t believe that their participation is needed… The Exploding Tangerine is REAL!!!

  37. Shar
    July 22, 2016 at 5:53 pm

    Yasss Luvvie, please please please ( in my James Brown voice) vote Hillary because no other option unless you want to sign your death warrant! Drumpf is a joke but isn’t joking, him and his followers are seriously ignorant to all of his divisive rhetoric and dgaf soooo WE NEED YOUR VOTE for Clinton… I’m co-Signing on the begging and not ashamed! Former Bernie supporter but gahdamnit #IMWITHHER!!

  38. Norma
    July 22, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    Vote or die…literally.

  39. blackprofessor
    July 22, 2016 at 6:43 pm

    Amen! I used to work for a Holocaust survivor and I hear her voice in my head every day. This is not a joke! Germany and the rest of Europe thought that Hitler was “harmless” until he destroyed the continent with World War II.

    #Demonic Donald is a sociopath who has no problem destroying the country and the world. Get out and vote like your life depends on it.

  40. Denise
    July 22, 2016 at 6:48 pm

    I supported Sanders, but it’s now time to put on our grown folks pants and support Hillary! And if you just can’t support her, then VOTE FOR HER!!! Hillary and the DNC have adopted many of the points from Bernie’s platform. Don’t disrespect his hard work by handing this election over to the opposition through your lack of participation in the process or by having a protest temper tantrum.

    This is not the time to sit at home, or pull that stupid “protest vote” crap. The only thing a protest vote ever accomplished was to hand the election over to the opposing candidate, while the political system remains unchanged.

    Don’t waste your vote on a candidate who cannot win, Jill Stein. There is far too much at stake.

  41. twistylocs
    July 22, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    In my opinion, like any other job opportunity presented, one looking to be Commander-in-Chief would have to have some experience in government relations required to run. If not, then my being a neurosurgeon (with no med school nor residency) makes as much sense as Trump sitting in the Oval Office. No, we can’t have it.

  42. July 22, 2016 at 10:59 pm

    You’re spot on as usual, Luvvie, and thank you.

    The only point we disagree on is your point about SquirrelWig McRacistPants dragging the party right.

    The horrifying thing about all this for me is that all he’s really done is expose the rotten tumor of ignorant, angry, fearful bigotry that lives within the body of our country. It’s been there a long time, and the “GOP” has been pandering to it for the last 20+ years, more and more openly as time has passed. They’ve also been shrinking because the number of people who really want to live that ugliness is relatively small. BUT NOT SMALL ENOUGH.
    Even ONE person who thinks the way these people do is too many. But we’re a free country – we have to neutralize this poison with love and with reason.

    SW McRP had just ripped the lid off and shown us the maggots. I’m praying that sunlight will begin to disinfect them.

    Meantime, you and Vic win the internet today.

    # SingleIssueSeventhSeal

  43. Mo
    July 23, 2016 at 12:07 am

    You ain’t neva lied

  44. Former Cheeto Lover
    July 23, 2016 at 2:48 am

    I can see the correlation to the Game of Thrones, and I’m also reminded of The Walking Dead. Trump got us like Andrea when The Governor handcuffed her to the dentist’s chair and locked her in a room with a soon-to-be zombie. His candidacy was mildly humorous until I realized how many of my co-workers might actually be voting for him. We’ve got to make sure our apathetic, “it could never happen” relatives and friends vote.

  45. July 23, 2016 at 11:59 am

    Yes please Hillary all the flipping way!

  46. PoliticalEnygma
    July 23, 2016 at 12:58 pm

    Luvvie, this is so on point. As a teenager I was always fascinated by World War II. When I went into the military I made it a point to request a tour in Germany, and while there studying for my degree in business, I minored in German History, specifically WWII and the Third Reich. I’ve read Mein Kampf (in German) and I wanted to understand how a people and country could get to the point that the “final solution” was an acceptable answer. When I was in a military leadership class, I presented on Mussolini and how he came to power. What’s the saying about not knowing your history and being doomed to repeat it? That’s exactly what’s going on now. I’ve been and concerned and understood this from the beginning and have been telling family, friends and colleagues that this guy may be a joke, but he can win the presidency. No one thought Ronald Reagan, the actor could win, and he won in a landslide. I’ve posted your article on FB and twitter. Let’s keep everyone accountable…and let’s each and everyone identify not one, but five people (Take 5 to the Polls) from now until election day.

    1. Make sure your adoptees are registered to vote.
    2. Become knowledgeable about the campaigns and provide them with information on the campaign. (everyone needs to become a high information voter, because the MSM will try to craft the narrative)
    3. Have your adoptees identify five people to adopt and follow 1-2.
    4. On Election day, make sure your adoptees have voted.

    Thank you for the call to arms.

    • July 23, 2016 at 1:13 pm

      I have also held a fascination with WWII. I left a comment above about during my time in grad school I took a course on WWII. I read Ian Kershaw’s books on Hitler and I understood early on this Trump thing is no joke AT ALL.

  47. July 23, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    Luvvie, I just wanted to put this here to tell you how much I love your site, and how much I want your awsomeness to shine down on me–especially after your piece on George Bush swaying too much while FLOTUS tried to hold him down like a naughty helium baloon. You are the best. And if we all take your words to heart I know we can beat the cheetoh back into deserved obscurity. Which I hope comes to him right after horribly humiliating defeat.

  48. SIPort
    July 23, 2016 at 6:55 pm

    Oh and all the folks talmbout “I’ll just leave the U.S. if Trump wins.” With your privileged ass. You want to leave this place to burn for those without a choice? Because guess what? The people who will suffer the most if Trump does what he says he will do are the people who always get the brunt of the consequences: poor people of color and women. I have another passport but that doesn’t mean I just jump ship. THIS is home. Abandoning it is not a choice I’m considering. We fight for it.


    Even if you leave America, you aren’t safe.

    I have always taken him seriously. I honestly did think that the Establishment was going to take him out, but I always took the man at his word.

    As should everyone.

    I thought only in terms of the United States before last week.

    And, then, he did the interview with the NYT. After reading the transcript of that interview..


    I’m not exaggerating. His ‘ take’ on foreign policy is frightening.

    When he talks about abandoning our closest allies and alliances that we have been in for the past 70 years – PLEASE BE AFRAID.

    His money comes from RUSSIA – because no American banks would deal with him.

    He changed the foreign policy plank of the GOP to FAVOR RUSSIA.

    His campaign manager IS PUTIN’S BOY.

    Please follow this, people.

    You don’t have to love Hillary.
    You don’t have to like Hillary.

    You can even have doubts about her hawkish tendencies.

    But, there is a difference between hawkish tendencies….

    and, someone who wants to abandon 70 years of American Foreign Policy, that, while not perfect, has kept us away from World Wars.

    Do you really want this man with the NUCLEAR CODES?

    And, do you want as Vice President, a man who mandated FUNERALS FOR MISCARRIED BABIES?



    VOTE, like your life depends upon it.


    Don’t give me the bullshyt that ‘ there’s no difference between the parties’.

    I just can’t tolerate that ignorance and foolishness.

    If you don’t understand the ramifications of having the GOP have control of all three branches of Government..



    Are you kidding me?

    The republic WILL NOT SURVIVE the GOP being in charge of all three branches of Government.


    • Lorna
      July 25, 2016 at 4:32 pm

      That is all.

  49. Mary Burrell
    July 23, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    Yes this is very serious and all these ignorant people saying they won’t vote and how their vote doesn’t make a difference frighten me as well. We need to get to the polls in November. Trump is the devil.

  50. Mary Burrell
    July 23, 2016 at 10:57 pm

    Trump is scary and I am frightened we all need to take this seriously.

  51. MJ
    July 23, 2016 at 11:52 pm

    Long time lurker, first time poster. This “I’ll just leave America” bullshit is pure, ignorant trash and REEKS of privilege. Like, not only “where ya gonna go,” but “what are ya gonna do when you get there?” Just like how Americans don’t like foreigners coming in and taking their jobs, foreigners don’t want Americans coming and taking THEIR jobs. Americans act like they’re citizens of the world, coming and going as they please, and just staying anywhere, like you own the joint. Most people have probably never even left their state, let alone their country. You think immigrating is easy? Good luck. I’m an immigrant, and for the first time ever , I’m kinda glad I don’t have an American passport. What will all these people do if most countries decide that Americans aren’t allowed there?

    Also, I hate the “My vote doesn’t count” crap too. This country isn’t a dictatorship (yet). Your vote does count, trust me my country was a dictatorship, our vote, our word, our freedom didn’t count there. I know the difference, but you clueless, ignorant Americans will learn.

  52. Lauren
    July 24, 2016 at 1:26 am

    Slow clap, Luvvie. Slow clap.

  53. Shannon
    July 24, 2016 at 1:39 pm

    I’m going to tattoo this whole post on my forehead.

    Look, special snowflakes with your third party votes, I get you, I GET YOU. My adorable 23-year-old ass voted for Nader in 2000. WELP. I kept my “integrity” and shit went down in flames for eight years. I’m still apologizing to people for it. Meanwhile, Green Party what? Did they ever bother to capture a Senate seat or House or governorship or OH MY GOD ANYTHING BEYOND A CITY COUNCIL SEAT?

    Yeah no. Please do better than I did.

  54. Enn
    July 24, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    Preach!!!!!!! Every. Single. Word. I am so with you all the way and scared out of my mind of the evil and racist dystopia Trump means to bring about. I wish Bernie Sanders & the Berniebots would sit the f* down because they are basically doing a lot of free dirty work for Trump with their attacks on the DNC and Hillary. The DNC should just toss Bernie out. How is he with them if he just increases Trump’s chances to win??? Wtf?

  55. […] your uncle has let the world know that even though he is a longtime Democrat, he will be voting for the Walking Cheeto Trump in November. The NYPost got the […]

  56. […] your uncle has let the world know that even though he is a longtime Democrat, he will be voting for the Walking Cheeto Trump in November. The NYPost got the […]

  57. July 26, 2016 at 8:38 pm

    Hillary has made mistakes. She has done some dumb-ass things and she has done some things that made me shake my head. She is not a natural campaigner, and she is not charming like her husband or like President Obama. But she is smart, she is accomplished, she is experienced. I believe she wants to do a good job. I believe she is willing to listen to people, to work together. Whereas Donald Trump is a proud and unapologetic misogynist and bigot, who has said he will take advice from himself because he has “a very good brain.” I believe he is truly dangerous. I would vote for someone I liked a whole lot less than Hillary before I would vote for him. And I’m going to work to get out the vote for her.

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