Y’all. Y’ALL. In these times of dumpster fire, joy must come wherever we can find it and I have found glee today!
Megyn Kelly, white privilege Barbie, has a new morning show on NBC. Those fools over there chose her over Tamron Hall, so you know I already wasn’t wishing the show well. Add to the fact that Megyn ain’t got the good sense God gave a goat and what you have is a “get busy, karma” holiday party.
Jane Fonda got a new movie she’s starring with Robert Redford, called Our Souls at Night so she decided to grace Megyn with her presence. Sometimes, you gotta do lessers massive favors like this.
During the interview, Megyn found herself throwing compliments on Jane, and then took a wrong turn.
Megyn: “But you look amazing. Why did you say, I read that you said you felt — you’re not proud to admit you’ve had work done. Why not?”
And that’s where she fucked up. Because what happened next was Jane giving me tea for my fever! You don’t even need video. All you need is this GIF.
BRUH!!! Jane Fonda showed that she is an active and dues paying member of the Giver of No Fucks Sorority Incorporated. Watch this GIF on loop and get your entire life. Because that 1 second pause, where Jane gave Megyn the Death Stare of LIFE had purpose. It was a mini meditation to avoid the complete snatching of edges of the one who knows not what she do. I mean, if looks could kill, we’d be planning Megyn’s repast right now. You know the one where the tater salad ain’t got no seasoning on purpose.
That pregnant pause was Miss Fonda stopping to weigh her options, and to calm herself down from choking the blonde dolt sitting across from her. That was Jane telling herself “Bitch I will destroy you in one swoop.” That was her also thinking “this is why you can’t do fools favors.”
But being the graceful goddess she is, Jane chose instead to just ask the knucklehead interviewing her “we really wanna talk about that right now?” And that is the nicest thing she could have done because had she gone IN on Megyn, I wouldn’t blame her. You’re asking this legend about plastic surgery in that moment? What did that have to do with the price of rice in Thailand?? The extra insult is that she surely didn’t ask Robert Redford the same thing and he was sitting 2 feet from Jane. Ol’ “The Patriarchy Worked Too Well On Me” face ass Megyn. Who taught you to oppress yourself?
Jane wasn’t here for the bullshit and did not have time to entertain it. It was chicken soup for my soul. It was balm for my shady spirit. ALL HAIL QUEEN JANE.
One thing I know: if an elder I respect looks at me like that, I’ma go sit in the dark for about an hour to just re-assess my life and ask God how I can do better at being.
I’m just here, enjoying Megyn Kelly’s perpetual failing.
Moral of the story: don’t let your mouth write checks your ass can’t cash, people. Shit is expensive and you can’t afford it.