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This Judgey Baby is Sick of Everyone and I Love Her

Y’all know I have a soft spot for judgey babies. They haven’t even been here very long but they KNOW something ain’t right. They want us to get it together and they will let us know about it.

So, coming across my timeline all of last week was this baby who basically stole my spirit.

This baby has been here before and she’s sick of your shit, my shit and everybody else’s. She wants us to get our lives together. DRAG US, BABY GIRL.

This little girl is basically JudgeyPop come to life. And the best thing is that this baby has an Instagram! Isn’t she a chocolate gumdrop??? And then her dimples!!! I DIE.

I posted this on my Facebook fan page and I’ve been CACKLING at LuvvNation’s comments. We’re all feeling judged by this baby girl.


Kristie: She’s been judging me all this time and I didn’t even know I AM SO SORRY MAR’LEI.

Jasmine: She’s an adult woman with a job and bills and no one can tell me otherwise. Cute judgey self.

Natasha: This is actually my daughter 

Marlene: She is downright adorable and giving me life!!!

Phalisa: You were obviously not having any foolishness while you were pregnant! She is precious as can be!

Erinkate: She’s gorgeous! And that NAH HAVIN’ IT look is the best thing I have seen all day!

Natasha:  Lmbo y’all I’m playing. She’s not my baby but got damn we got the same exact spirit animal 

Luvvie: LMAOOO I legit was like YOU HAVE THE BEST DAUGHTER before I saw you were playing. lolll I claim her too. shit.

Natasha:  I saw the baby and i hollered because she’s wearing the face I would wear when my boss asks me to work over the weekend.

Kennisha: It’s a blessing she can’t verbalize her thoughts yet. None of us are ready for that tongue lashing. Side note: I’m pretty sure this is what Auntie Maxine’s baby pictures look like.

Melissa: Auntie Maxine’s chubby baby legs are crossed and her Buster Brown’s are at a high shine so she can see herself as she shade shames you.

Evan: She’s already reclaiming her time.

Crystal: On behalf of the ancestors.

Kanda: This blessing came into this world judging every last one of us. She’s like “Where’s President Obama?”

Sherrice: She said, “I HEARD we had a black president. I know this one ain’t who y’all was talking about.” Then she tapped her pack of Newports and rolled her eyes.

Oona: Truth. She’s all “Four years of this orange haze of doom?? You do realize these are my formative years, right people?”

Alexis:  I feel like she saw one fork in the sink and just asked who put all these dishes in the sink.

Sherrice: And then went on to talk about how nobody does a damn thing in the house besides her.

Zuri: If that baby doesn’t grow up to be Beverly in HR she will have missed her calling.

Autumn: LOL! Instead of working on her ABCs in kindergarten, she’ll be learning how to construct professional nice-nasty emails.

Monica: Either Beverly, or Valerie at the DMV!

Carla: Hilarious! or Mrs. Jones who’s the Dean of a school. Either way, we know she’s going to have long acrylic nails that will click and clack when she types on the keyboard.

Tracey: I had a Darlene in HR who would give the same face!

Brit: shiiiiiitttttttt! My mama name is Dareleane and she used to work in HR!!! 

Carol: Joanne at the Post Office.

Debbie: I think a high school teacher. The one kids are all scared of.

Robyn: Linda at the traffic court.

Kimberley: Ain’t no way you getting out of that ticket. You may as well go on and write your check. Or better yet , come with your money order.

Brenda: Linda J. in HR because it’s like three other Linda’s in HR.

Jessica: Jessica from HR and this is my face while people complain to me about the job. Now I gotta document this mess…

Zuri: Sharon at the Child Support office. Sheila the West Indian nurse on the Maternity Floor.

Michelle: She came out saying, “with all due respect…”

Zuri: She already has her inspirational quote for her email signature picked out.

Toroitich: This baby sees all my past indiscretions, flaws & lays waste to my excuses. (Going to sit in a corner & rethink my entire life)

Sherrice: Come and join me. I’ve been sitting here since I looked at that picture.

Duwa: She made this face after she saw Trump throw them paper towels at the people of Puerto Rico! This baby is done with his orange tomfoolery.

Lindsay: That baby wants to know why you keep running in and out the house, heating up the outside, because you don’t pay no bills up in here.

Alden: This was foretold. Ancient prophecy told of an Orange-Faced Ass Monkey that would descend upon the Earth. He would reek of insanity and poor decisions, and rule ineptly with a tiny, orange, fist. Suffering would settle upon the world. But there would be born a warrior to meet him in battle. A side-eyed master of supreme pettiness with an inability to give even the tiniest fuck. She would wield the power of pure, petty, fucklessness. And she would smite the Ass Monkey and go on to rule and judge a world at peace. This is obviously that warrior.

Karen: “Y’all better straighten this shit out BEFORE me and my peers reach majority. Now bring me my bah.”

Yulanda: This baby is so judgemental. This is how those old mother’s of the church look at them young women sitting on the front pew. Showing all their blessed assurance to Passa.

Iraolyn: I’m instantlfy compelled to get my life together. Ima do better, motha, and I’m sorry.

Gwen: She may be a baby, but she did NOT come to play!

Jai: She’s been here before….TWICE!!! This time she’s coming in the name and shade of our ancestors!!!! Clearly she is a descendant of Sojourner Truth!!!!!!!!!

Erika: She is a strong black baby woman. She will not be intimidated and she will not be undermined. How did this precious baby get fed up with us so fast? She’s trying to reclaim time from this life and her last!

Ajah: She’s so precious and I want to cuddle her, but I’m not really in the best place right now mentally to be judged for my lifestyle choices by a baby…

Tahsweah: She definitely been here before. She looking like she asking God… “ Bruh this what u brought me back for” 

Karlyn: THIS is what happens when mothers play the audiobook version of “I’m Judging You” to their babies in utero!! They come out locked & loaded, ready to fire 

Susan: She bout to pick up her pocketbook, straighten her slip, and walk away muttering, “Witcho dumb butt.”

Susan: If she take her cute little pink headband off and say, “Somebody hold my bottle,” you better exit the premises.

Sharice: I’ve seen 30 different memes made with this baby’s picture and they’ve all been perfect. She ain’t here for the BS.

Shantae: Hands down best one

Lana: She looks like she was supposed to go home an hour ago but her replacement didn’t come in. She missed her lunch and hasn’t had a cigarette since her morning break.
She is over it all!!!

Lindsey: She is your reincarnated grandma, the one who used to threaten your life if you were not quiet in church and who embarrassed your ass MORE THAN ONCE because she could not handle your immature foolishness. She is not here for it.

Shay: Looking like someone’s big Mama. She’ll cut cha down with three or four words and then make you mind blowing Mac and cheese. Her house is always clean, she never knows what these “young people” are doing with themselves, and she thinks you could use a little more lotion on them ankles.  I love her!

DeShawn: These babies come here over it! St. Gabriel prepared them before arrival and they are in disgust that none of it was a lie!!

Maria-Teresa: A thousand memes suddenly got their wings.

Susan: At least 3 times a day, this baby say, “See, what you NOT finna do is …,” complete with neck rolling and finger pointing.

Micheal: This little girl wants to know…nay demands to know….why I am late and where the butterscotch in her purse went. That is for her sugar only.

Deja: This baby wants to know how your protest vote is working out for you…

Gloria: Reminds me of my late Grandmother who would give that look with a “Hmmph”. Translation: You ain’t shit.

Nikola: Does anyone have the address of the post office box where I can send this baby my edges? Because this baby does not have time for my excuses.

Naretha: Looking all like a 75 year old mother of the church about to hand you a peppermint and quarter and tell you to sit yo behind down somewhere.

Soluna: All hail the future queen of the side-eye, we are not worthy. Going to feel like I let her down for the rest of my life.

Ana: I cannot adequately express my love for this little old soul. She has somehow absorbed the spirits & essences of Mother Maxine, Auntie Cher, Auntie Jane, & Auntie Cicely, flavored with a bit of Lady Olenna & Lady Lyanna. She WILL NOT be accepting or tolerating foolery of any kind.

Linda: She heard everything that was said while in the womb and NOW a certain someone is trying to compliment her.

Kara: She is over everyone’s shit except her own. And you better get on that because it won’t be long before she’s over that, too.

Eiesha: These babies are not playing … They are born with attitudes and grudges.

Tiffany: This baby is reclaiming her time, even though she was just born 46 minutes ago!

Cynthia: Damn, this is like my third time being reincarnated, and y’all still haven’t fixed this shit yet. Social progress is supposed to go forward, people, not backward. I guess this carseat is pretty comfy, but that’s some small potatoes. I shoulda just stayed in. Refused to come out. Nope, not being born this time! Y’all can keep the comfy car seat!

Lauren: That look is everything. She makes me want to go and confess my sins and I haven’t done a thing for the day. But just in case, you know?

Aeisha: She is a chocolate drop with ZERO tolerance for fuckery and I too love her…she is my spirit animal.

DC: She could be a baby Annalise Keating!! That adorable girl’s look hurt me AND my feelings!!

Fe: That is just innate Blackness right there. It is not learned, it’s inherited from the ancestors, passed down through the blood. Our babies are born knowing how to make that face. And THAT is the face that is going to eventually save the world. Don’t you doubt it or HER for a second.

Alden: I know black women don’t age – but DAMN Maxine Waters looks young in this pic!

Jamila: This baby looks like your auntie when you bring your new boyfriend over for Christmas and she asks you”What happened to your other little friend that was here on 4th of July”?

Jasmyn: I can literally see and hear her saying “Mhmmm,” followed by an epic eye-roll. Thank God for ornery babies; we don’t deserve them. Or, maybe we do…

Jamesetta: Dis how Mother Bessie Jean look at the little kids who be playing in church. If you don’t sit yo behind down…..Y’all know the rest.

Drea: I love this baby’s face!! I’ve seen this all day! She is over us and ain’t even been here long enough to know why.

Aeisha: She is tiiiiyuuuurrrddd and has no time for your shenanigans…this is the look your mama gives you AFTER she done already told you “DON’T ASK FOR NOTHING IN THIS STORE” and you ask anyway.

Oprah Shade GIF

Jan: Damn. My nonexistent uterus is screaming for a baby like this cutie. That face is the look I give grown folks who ask me dumbass questions! Ima just print and laminate this picture and hold it up from now on.

Donna: Her whole expression says, “Really, is this what we doing?” She just look like she thinks you too dumb to breathe. This precious baby is all of us with # 45 and his band of evil trolls.

Brandy:  Oh no! Someone she doesn’t like must’ve made the potato salad 

Nicole: She’s not salty, she’s marinated. And she is indeed sick of our collective shit.

Erika: She has to have siblings. Has to. I’m an only child. I wasn’t able to perfect that face until my cousin was born.

Jasmine: She looks as if she’s getting ready to ask if you have Mc Donald’s money.

Jennifer:  She has heard his lies before, and she’s not falling for that shit twice. The only person he’s fooling is himsel

Michael: I accept her as my new leader.

Evelyn: This baby knew me in 1997- my first year in college. #trife

Cne: Chileeeee I just laughed so HARD! She looks like me at 3:45 when my boss ask me to do a 30 min task… KNOWING I GET OFF AT EXACTLY 4pm

Tammy: She’ll need that look when she has her own kids.

Roxanna: This baby was born on my birthday, so I claim her as my spirit animal. She gives me inspiration.

Anitra: This is the face the head usher makes when you go sit your tail in the seat she pacifically told you not to go to!!

Christina: This baby needs all of us to shut our mouths and reevaluate our life choices right now.

Ashley: She looks like she’s about to tell me she’ll pray for me.

Morgana: She’s judging all of us

This baby is my book come to life.

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6 Comments

  1. Lisa Session
    October 9, 2017 at 12:11 pm — Reply

    She’s been here before and tryna figure out who da phuck sent her back to this shithole called Trumpland! LMAO!!!

  2. Heather
    October 9, 2017 at 12:24 pm — Reply

    I’m going to beg her to be my life coach.

  3. fuschia
    October 9, 2017 at 12:27 pm — Reply

    Somebody saying something stupid in Sunday School class….

  4. Rosella
    October 9, 2017 at 1:35 pm — Reply

    Got my life and my afternoon made reading the Luvvie Nation comments but I gotta give it to Alden who made me cackle with his prophecy. LMBAO.

  5. Oakbluffsdiva
    October 9, 2017 at 4:43 pm — Reply

    That’s Mrs. Robinson in the financial aid office at any HBCU (she’s been there 40 years) when you tell her you can’t buy your books until your aid comes in and you’re already behind. Then you have the nerve to ask her what you’re supposed to do!

  6. Txbirdy
    October 9, 2017 at 7:44 pm — Reply

    Oooh…she needs to be my baby she is so cute. She gonna get her PhD before finishing high school.

    BTW Alden is a genius for that comment.

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