White Women Need to Get Their Shit Together
Yesterday was the much-anticipated (and dreaded) race for Alabama’s newest senator. One candidate was the run-of-the-mill Democrat. Nothing radical or life-altering about him. Doug Jones is the status quo in human form. And the other was a pedophile who stood boldly in his racist, confederacy values. Roy Moore would have slaves TODAY if allowed.
Those were the choices. At this point, I’ll take “status quo” over “hell on Earth” any day so Doug Jones was the one that folks (with sense) wanted to win. This is why everyone was nervous, because what we have learned in this last year is that sense is uncommon AF. We didn’t know what to expect, because in this topsy turvy country, we can still expect a pedophile to win. CLUSTERFUCK.
I didn’t wanna watch the results because I’m just tired of getting confirmation that America is the den of iniquity and the idiocracy that thrives is beyond repair and everything is trash. So I spent the time avoiding the news and social media.
And then the results came in, and we learned Doug Jones won. And we were shocked. SHOCKED, that the guy who wasn’t the pedophile won. And he won by like 1% point. Only 1%.
Why? Because white people voted for him in droves. BUT Doug Jones won. WHY? Because BLACK people showed up and showed out to participate in harm reduction, and save the state from itself. I see you, Noir-labama! BLACK WOMEN AND MEN SHOWED UP, in spite of attempts at voter suppression. We are always playing Captain-Save-A-Hoe.
Meanwhile, white women.
White women. Wow. Nothing is as determined as a desperate white man who feels like he’s losing his position in the web of oppression he created. But nothing is sadder than the woman who has bought in to her own subjugation. White women have got to DO BETTER.
I expect nothing from white men but white women? Well, actually I expect nothing of them too, as they collectively show that they will be willing participants in bullshit CONSTANTLY. And we were supposed to wear pink pussy hats together? Girl bye.
White women actively vote against themselves, white men vote for themselves. I’m not even looking at white men sideways. Why? Because their vote is logical. It makes sense that they would vote for a Roy Moore. He is the mirror of straight, Christian, white men who are desperate for power. When white men vote for men like him and Cheeto Satan, they are voting for themselves. MAKES PERFECT SENSE. I can put that in a box. White men ain’t been shit since forever, and they have owned their Voldemort-ness.
But white women? They are actively voting AGAINST what is best for them. It’s like having the choice to jump in a 4-foot pool or into a 4-foot fire pit. They always vote for the fire pit, and then wonder why they come up with burns.
The girls that Roy Moore was accused of sleeping with were young, white girls, the daughters of these women who then turn around to vote for him. When these women are filling out their ballots, do they not think “I’m putting my daughter in jeopardy?” My mind is boggled. WHAT HAS TO HAPPEN FOR WHITE WOMEN TO WAKE UP???
We talk about fixing this country? Well, WHITE WOMEN have to get in formation. White men get blamed all the time but white women support them, vote for them, feed them, love on them. White women have been shielded from culpability all their lives and through history and have been able to move in the system of oppression without getting blame when they have been active participants. ACTIVE. They keep it going. In fact, they’ve benefited the most, because they’ve done none of the work, got all the perks, and none of the blame. It’s a good racket. All this Peak Caucasity and Darth Beckiness (word to VSB).
How can WOMEN fall under the same umbrella when white women continuously prove they cannot be trusted to do the right thing?
Meanwhile, I’m supposed to, as a Black woman, say we’re all a part of a sisterhood? How does that serve me? How has it served me? How are we all supposed to be under the same umbrella when white women undo the work we do constantly? How are we supposed to trust them when the work of our hands are undone by them constantly? Because white women want us to claim “FEMINISM” with them when they pick being white over being a woman more often than not. What sisterhood is that? A gahtdamb pedophile runs for office and the race had the nerve to be close. Because 63% of white women who voted chose whiteness over womanhood. That’s the bullshit. So yeah, when we go Mariah Carey on them, don’t ask why.
Two-Thirds. This is why all the comments I’m getting of #NotAllWhiteWomen annoy the hell outta me. If two-thirds of any other group did some thing that was this damaging, we would be getting annihilated for it. So. Sit in these hurt feelings and deal with accountability, for once. I don’t wanna hear that YOU voted correctly. You don’t get a cookie for doing that. We definitely don’t get cookies for saving folks’ asses constantly. The point is that as a group, white women are fucking up left and right.The women who voted for Roy Moore are the women you break bread with. They aren’t the exception but the rule. White women can’t sit on a high horse and think the women in Alabama aren’t them. THEY ARE YOU. Your moms, sisters, aunts. Folks out here playing oblivious, as if these women exist in a vacuum. They do not.
So for the white women who are disgusted by Alabama, and by the 53% of your sisters who voted for Trump. What are you gonna do? Are you still going to brunch with these women who vote against YOUR interests too? You’re still good with them in your lives? Black women hold folks (and each other) accountable. We SHUNNED Omarosa when she started supporting Voldemort. Do y’all do a good shunning of the traitorous assholes you know? You don’t. Because as a whole, those people don’t lose their sense of belonging when they do shit like this. And if there’s one thing humans needs, are their tribes. These errant white women don’t lose their friends over doing things that are damaging. It is time for getting comfortable with being uncomfortable (see: my TED talk related to this).
The amount of white women tears that have been in my mentions and comments tonight. This is why ain’t no sisterhood. White women are telling me I’m hurting their feelings and insulting them, as if I talked about them personally. But here’s the thing, if you aren’t a hit dog, don’t holler. And try not to be the cliché Damsel-in-Distress here. We gotta talk to you like we’re talking to 5 year olds or we’re accused of “bullying” or being angry. Cry me a river and build a bridge to get over it. White women will get this ire and I don’t care about their tenderness right now.
One woman told me she does “resistance work” and then turned around to try to police my words. But if she knew true allyship sometimes means knowing shutting the fuck up is free, she would have chosen different. I just realize that white women have a lot of work to do, and it’s time we start pointing fingers at them, for their role in the country’s issues. Again, welcome to accountability. It’s not gonna be cute.
All I know is that I am proud to be a Black woman. In spite of people insulting us, abusing us and taking us for granted, we do what we need to do. People are giving themselves too much credit, though. You haven’t done the things that have made you worthy of our grace, but we give it anyway. It ain’t about YOU, but about us upholding our end of being superheroes on Earth. We are the adults in the room.
You are welcome.
Oh, and Omarosa getting walked out the White House should be a teaching moment. I hope she learned the lesson that proximity to whiteness is not a strategy for winning, especially when whiteness is only loyal to itself. She is proof that loyalty to white men gets you nothing. Now she’s shunned, and in tribe purgatory because she is no longer invited to the cookouts and her weave will forever be busted because that is the price you pay for being traitorous to Black women.
So. White women. Please get your shit together. Those of you with sense need to call your sisters, cousins, aunties and moms unto the carpet and have the tough conversations that are easy to avoid. Those of you who don’t have sense? Well, odds are, you aren’t reading this. And let me repeat: DO NOT SEND ME A MESSAGE OR COMMENT SAYING I’VE HURT YOUR FEELINGS. I. DON’T. CARE. Sit in your discomfort and commit yourself to doing better.
And if you wanna hear me SAY THIS, watch the 5th episode of my weekly show Rants and Randomness.
Have you bought my NYTimes-bestselling debut book I’M JUDGING YOU: The Do-Better Manual? Haven’t ordered it yet? Now’s your chance. You’ll love it. Amazon. Barnes & Nobles. iBooks. Audible (I narrated the audiobook myself). Kobo. Books-A-Million.