R. Kelly Gotta Know His Wayward Ass is Not Welcome in Wakanda

You know we’ve been talmbout BLAXIT for awhile. Oh you ain’t know? Catch up and read my past BLAXIT posts (#BLAXIT: Things We’re Taking With Us If We Leave).

Anywho, when we leave this joint, we are going to re-settle in Wakanda, land of the abundant melanin, vibranium and no caucasity. In this land, we will not deal with bullshit and triflingness. With that being said…

The worst people in the world are the ones who don’t know they’re terrible. The Pied Piper of Piss, R. Kelly, needs to know his gahtdamb place, and it ain’t in anywhere that is supposed to be safe for women and girls (aka Earth). Being a professional predator and pedophile excludes him from our reindeer games, rightfully. That hapless niglet is running a cult of women, uses teenage girls as his pillow and is basically the cartoon version of a rapist. He is so gross.

So when he fixed his fingers to type that he wanted to get on a flight to Wakanda, 1,000 archangels harped “NO” in unison. Old wayward ass, no broughtupsy-having ass symbol of toxic masculinity and lost causes.

WHAT WE ARE NOT GON HAVE, R-RAH, is your creep ass, in the holy land of Wakanda, where melanin is aplenty and the women will whoop your everlasting ass.

No Thank You RKelly

So I quickly offered up this prayer, since the devil is surely busy.

Fatha Gawd, we come before you today to block the entry of enemies of progress and pedophiles into the sacred land of Wakanda! You said weapons would form but let them not prosper in this land. May fools like this stay trapped in the closet to nowhere when we #BLAXIT. We rebuke and reject him, in YOUR glorious name. AMEN! Let us touch and agree, because where two or more gather, nothing Robert Kelly does will win.

My audience had some words too when I posted this on my Facebook page.

Sili: Sir, let me explain. NO. Also: WE GOOD. For more information feel free to read all about the documentation needed to go to Wakanda. You can find it in the “We Don’t Pee Freely” section of this pamphlet. If you have any questions or concerns, please direct them to booth #1 where the lady with the bald head and the red and gold alphet is standing not smiling at us.

H Loretta: Now THIS is a time that I will gladly pay for a wall…

Tonya: We bind and rebuke this pissy devil in T’Challa’s name…..Amen

Shinita: No thank you Pissmonger. Someone send out a cat-signal to the Dora Milaje #WakandaICE

Jasmine: Nah you know what? Let him come. Take care of this once and for all.

Dora Milaje

My Queens!

Natasha: Sis, I’m grabbing the razor as we speak and getting in formation. I’m HERE for it!!!

Carla: You right. If anyone dares inquire about his whereabouts, we will politely inform them that we do not extradite criminals, but we have dealt with his crimes. #WakandaForever

Tonya: “speak nothing of this day.” 😂

Michelle: Skewer him at the border or may his plan land safely in the mountains Father God. Amen.

Amy: Somebody put EXTRA security around Shuri, STAT!

Ty: Shuri would already have anti child-molester weapons at the ready.

Jane: Shuri is too old for him.

Holly: I’m pretty sure Shuri could turn him into a hat without blinking so….

Latisha – R. Kelly: You gone let me in or nah.
Dora Milaje: We will kill you first before we let you in, outsider.
R. Kelly: You’d really kill the Pied Piper of R n’ B.
Dora Milaje: For Wakanda… without question.

Luvvie: For Wakanda, for a random Monday, for a quarter…

Holly: Does ANYONE want R Kelly at this point besides the 90s?

Autumn: The 90s would probably send him back too if they could find the shipping info.

Ty: give the Dora Milaje 3 minutes with Kelly. Not that fighting the Dora Milaje would grant him access, but I want to see these women launch a coordinated attack and beat the unholy f*** out of Kelly.

Melissa: One minute is enough.

Ty: But three is more fun.

Michele: They wouldn’t even need a coordinated attack. The Dora Milaje trainees could handle Kelz

Alisa: All praises to the most high who stands above and looks below. Fatha Gawd we come again to humbly ask that you hermetically and permenantly seal aformenetioned closet so that the darkness now contained within will never ever ever ever permeate the land again. Amen.

Amen RuPaul gif

Kaye: #inwakanda broke pedophiles answer to Lord M’baku.

Portia: I’m not sorry to inform you R(apist/pedophile that you are NOT welcome in Wakanda. Our young girls are precious to us. They are taught to respect themselves and more importantly that pee belongs in toilets. Please take your ass back home. If you stay you will be fed to my best friends Aunties cousins children. They are Not vegetarians.

Robbin: He just got evicted from 2 rental homes in Atlanta, where the Delta flights leave Hartsfield Jackson Airport to Wakanda. We got him on the run. WOW (Women of Wakanda) must block and exterminate this malevolent force in music.

Monikka: Good lawd. When they said Wakanda had a golden city, this is not what they were trying to attract. Bye Peepee Pedo!

Michelle: Bless every harpoon with poison laden tips. And oh fader’god’n’hebbum, bless the aim of the harpoonist, allowing them to land that poison tipped harpoon right betwixt his hot butt cheeks.

Shanda: He done already got evicted in Atlanta. This is the remix to his extinction hot and fresh out the kitchen. We rolling down the run way got his creepy ass wishing 🤣🤣

Christina: I imagine Rachel Dolezal wants to be on that flight to Wakanda. LuvvNation shouts in unison…”hell to the naw!!!!”

Christine: Oh no, R., honey. You stay home in that closet. Wakanda is not for you. Jail is for you.

Kim: On behalf of those who support you, may I just say – we dont want him, either. Please dispose of your trash when you leave. If there’s room left when we dispose of ours!

June: He shall not pass and despoil our sacred land of Wakanda! Back foul beast of Bump ‘n Grind!

Crystal: Someone grab the can of Raid!!!

Nina: He might *believe* he can fly, but he’s on the #NoFlyList in Wakanda.

Carisa: If you ain’t invited to the cookout here, you fa sho ain’t getting into Wakanda!

Courtney: I’ve been there, and have the passport stamp to prove it! He banned, along with Omarosa and Clifton Powell

Stacey: Him and Stacy Dash’s flights are getting DE-Layed!

Tairea: The chariot is not swingin’ low for you, bruh 😐🙅🏾‍♀️

Wakanda NEVER for this shameless heaux.

Have you bought my NYTimes-bestselling debut book I’M JUDGING YOU: The Do-Better Manual? Haven’t ordered it yet? Now’s your chance. You’ll love it. Amazon. Barnes & Nobles. iBooks. Audible (I narrated the audiobook myself). Kobo. Books-A-Million.

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  1. Kim
    February 23, 2018 at 10:45 am — Reply



  2. Kim
    February 23, 2018 at 10:46 am — Reply


    Best laught today!


  3. Shay
    February 23, 2018 at 5:04 pm — Reply

    I just yelped like a puppy at “hapless niglet.”

    Pretty sure my boss is gonna come by my desk now!

  4. Chris Oakley
    February 23, 2018 at 8:18 pm — Reply

    I don’t think R. Kelly is welcome ANYWHERE at this point. Satan is like, “I don’t want this jerk anywhere near me.”

  5. Tamika B.
    February 24, 2018 at 7:20 pm — Reply

    As soon as he tries to step foot in a flight to Wakanda his body needs to be found with a panther paw print in his chest! #WakandaForever

  6. March 1, 2018 at 9:53 pm — Reply

    Hello, is anybody here interested in online job?
    It’s simple survey filling. Even 10$ per survey (ten minutes duration).
    If you are interested, send me e-mail to hansorloski[at]

  7. Adrienne
    March 6, 2018 at 11:24 am — Reply

    I want to know what did Clifton Powell do to get banned from Wakanda?

  8. March 12, 2018 at 11:20 am — Reply

    Step off in the name of love, Kelly!

  9. […] For the five people that have not watched Ryan Coogler’s masterpiece Black Panther, the film follows T’Challa’s passage (and challenges) as he returns home to the fictional land of Wakanda following his father’s death to become king and Black Panther. The film has become a cultural phenomenon, making over $1 billion at the box office and empowering millions over the world. There are even direct flights, non-stop from Atlanta, USA to Wakanda open to everyone (except you, R.Kelly!!). […]

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