Letter

Dear White House Sinkhole, You Good? Thumbnail

Last week, we learned there is a sinkhole forming on the lawn of the White House. I’m just here to inquire about its wellbeing. Dear Sinkhole, Hey big head. So sorry I didn’t come and visit but I’m allergic to places where fascism gets written into law. But listen, now that you’re here, I’m just [...]

Dear Bethune-Cookman 2017 Grads, Thank You For Telling Betsy Devos “Nah” Thumbnail

Everything is stupid and nothing makes sense. Betsy Devos was the commencement speaker at Bethune-Cookman University today. Bethune-Cookman, a Historically-Black College/University, chose the Education Secretary none of us wanted, Betsy “What are public schools?” DeVos, to send their graduates off. In return, the students met her with boos, jeers and backs turned. To them, I say [...]

Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad 3

I gotta say that sometimes, I’m impressed by how people fail so spectacularly. Pepsi is the latest inductee into the FAIL Hall of Fame. I don’t think we’ve fully forgiven them since they set Michael Jackson’s hair on fire back in 1984. We just knew they didn’t curl allaway over. And now, they’ve taken their [...]

Dear President Barack Obama, So This Love is Just Over? Thumbnail

Because we’re having a rough time with the end of this relationship. I just wanna write him a letter, because he is not. Ain’t nothing worse being the only miserable party, cuz the way my petty is setup, I want us to wallow together. BUT NO. Barack outchea flourishing. Dear President Obama, Honestly, this is [...]

Dear Joel Osteen, Is Being a Sellout Shepherd Your Ministry? Thumbnail

It’s been a long while since I’ve written a sternly-worded letter. Clearly, I am overdue. I have been spurred to write one because of an interview that popular pastor, Joel Osteen, gave on the radio in October 2015 (5 months ago), where he basically placed a stamp of approval on Donald Trump, satan’s mentee. Fast forward to [...]

Dear Stacey Dash, Who Knew Clueless Was a Biopic? Thumbnail

I have chilled on writing ex-actress and current Faux News mouthpiece Stacey Dash a sternly-worded letter for years, as I verbally chin-checked Raven-Symone. So this is overdue. Besides, so many of y’all asked me to that I was afraid that if I didn’t, you might pitch a tent on my eLawn (aka my Facebook page) until [...]

Dear Cosmopolitan, The Kardashians are Nobody’s First Family Thumbnail

Let me tell you something. The devil be hard at work outchea, y’all. He wants us to get ulcers and high blood pressure because that is the only thing I can think of when Cosmopolitan decided to have their latest cover feature the Kardashians, and the headline being “America’s First Family.” I am here to [...]

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