Ben Carson is to Smart as Slavery is to Immigration
One day. I just want ONE DAMB DAY where the crew of craprags in the Trump Administration don’t say or do something that is imbecilic. ONE DAY IS NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK WHERE WE DON’T NEED TO DRAG THEM FROM HERE TO KINGDOM COME. Today is Ben Carson’s turn …
Kellyanne Conway Gotta Get Her Feet Off That Couch
Let me tell you something. The entire Trump administration must be made up of people who were raised by savages. Every week, they do some shit that is unbecoming of what people do when they are raised with sense as a core value and guiding principle. Latest is the picture …
Where is Hillary Clinton? Hopefully Taking All the Naps She Deserves!
People really have some nerve. I keep seeing folks asking where Hillary Clinton is as everything goes to hell and it floors me. People are really wondering where the woman who won the popular votes by 3 million but still lost the highest office of the land is hanging. Folks …
Dear President Barack Obama, So This Love is Just Over?
Because we’re having a rough time with the end of this relationship. I just wanna write him a letter, because he is not. Ain’t nothing worse being the only miserable party, cuz the way my petty is setup, I want us to wallow together. BUT NO. Barack outchea flourishing. Dear …
Can We Drunk Text Our Bae, Barack, That We Miss Him?
The New Yorker published an imaginary text conversation between Barack Obama and someone who represents all of us still in our feelings about him leaving the White House. Here’s a snippet: Barack: You knew this would be tough at first. Transitions are never simple. Me: I miss you so bad …
A Handy Guide to Disrespecting Cheeto Satan
In 2 days, the mascot of white supremacy and proof that God sometimes rushes through the creation process, Donald Trump the Dusty Degenerate, will be sworn in as president of the United States. And the four horsemen of the apocalypse will ride in as Jesus emerges behind them with a whip …
Announcement! COPE Has Placed a Moratorium on BLAXIT Passes
It’s been a month since the world began its’ quick crumble, with the election of Squirrelwig McRacistPants as the next President of the United States. We were all stunned, because WTF HOW THE FUCK WHO THE FUCK. Even though Hillary Clinton secured almost 3 million more votes than Cheeto Satan, …
I’m Not Playing Nice with Donald Trump
A week ago, the United States of America reminded the world that is has a lot of stupid people in it. And a lot of people who would put their race over their genders because they’ve internalized patriarchy. And a lot of people who are raging racists. And a lot …
About the Heartbreak of America’s Choice
I forced myself to go to sleep around 1am. I wanted to keep hope, even for 5 more hours. I can usually find bright spots in situations. There are none for me here. I feel doomed. I wanted to wake up this morning celebrating the first woman president. Instead, I …
About the Election from Hell and Why I Voted for Hillary Clinton
I voted 2 weeks ago, when early voting started in Chicago. I was in and out in 30 minutes, and I cast my vote for Hillary Clinton to be President, with Tim Kaine as her Vice-President. One thing down, so many more to go. I am exhausted, because this election …