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Parents Are About to Put Their Little Broke Best Friends Out! – CoronaQuarantine Chronicles

These are some interesting times, ain’t they? COVID-19 has our whole underskirt showing out here. This Coronavirus got us hemmed up in the worst of ways, and now we’re having to social distance to try to get it under control. Not having to go to work sounds fun but for …

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Black Jesus
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God is Probably Tired Of Our Shenanigans Right Now

The world is a mess and I wonder what the conversation between God and Jesus would be like. Because they gotta be tired of our tomfoolery down here. We do not know how to act as a species. God: *sees the Amazon on fire, Donald Trump is running amok, the …

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Leroy Smith Tekken
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Tekken’s Leroy Smith Character is Mr. Steal-Your-Grandma

I don’t even play video games (anymore) but I might have to pick up what Tekken is dropping. They just released a trailer for the new movie and one of their characters is someone named Leroy Smith, who is the perfect prototype of Black Uncles everywhere. I know good and …

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This Judgey Baby is Sick of Everyone and I Love Her

Y’all know I have a soft spot for judgey babies. They haven’t even been here very long but they KNOW something ain’t right. They want us to get it together and they will let us know about it. So, coming across my timeline all of last week was this baby …

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iMac Pro
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Apple’s New iMac Pro Better Turn My House into a Home for that $5,000

Listen. I’m a fan of Apple products and I have given them A LOT of money over the years. Yesterday was Apple’s annual Worldwide Developer Conference (WWDC) and they announced a new slate of products. You know I was ready to see them offer the same products as last year …

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I’m YoungOld and So Are You

One of my favorite people, Samantha Irby, always talks about how old she is. Last week was her birthday, so in honor of the day the world got slightly less shitty, I had to tell people how old I am. I’m “If I wear heels out in public, I got …

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Because the Only Thing Chip Readers are Good For is Embarrassing Us

Remember when chips were placed on our credit and debit cards? And financial institutions were all excited because this would make checking out much faster? And we were like “but I’m fine putting in my pin” and they were all “NO NO NO you are not. That takes too long …

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Mama Bolt Shade
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Mama Bolt’s Disappointment is Universal Mom Love Language

There is no one who can bring you down to Earth better and quicker than your own mother. It seems that once you have a child, your shade savant abilities triples, and your gift of petty is enhanced. From the way moms can cut that look that will quickly make …

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All’s Unfair in Love and Kidneys

There’s a story going around today because some guy wrote into a website called NGTrends asking for advice: I am 32years old and my girlfriend is 31years old. We’ve been together for 5 years and now live together in a nice house. Things have been slowly fizzling out and I’ve …

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About Crowdfunding, How It’s Jumped the Shark and Why I Can’t Promote Your Campaign

Six years ago, after I got laid off my full time job, I was invited to speak at a conference that was respected in the nonprofit industry. I needed $700 to get there, and at the encouragement of a friend, I got a ChipIn (now defunct) page up at 10pm. When …

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