Politics

I Survived the First Presidential Debates (Barely) with Clinton vs. Trump

Last night was the first presidential debate that put Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump behind podiums and let them hash it out on various issues. As the presidential nominees for their respective parties, it was their job to state their platforms and bring their plans to the table. As the Miss Benita …

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Malik Obama Donald Trump
Politics

Malik Obama is An Enemy of Progress

Everything is weird and the world is ridiculous. Malik Obama, President Barack Obama’s estranged half-brother who lives in Kenya is in the news for his endorsement in this election. Speaking from Kogelo, your uncle has let the world know that even though he is a longtime Democrat, he will be …

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Politics

The Devil is a Walking Cheeto Running for President

The Devil doesn’t wear Prada. He wears a self-branded suit that’s made in China as he rails against immigrants and threatens to build a Wall as if anyone who isn’t American is a White Walker. The Long Night is here. Note: I’m sorry but there are just too many Game …

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RNC 2016 logo
Politics

Day 1 of Republican National Convention Was An Assemblage of Supreme Fuckshit

Y’all, what in the lowest realm of hell is wrong with the leadership of the Republican National Convention? And how did they manage to start it off so wrong that I’m already tired of their shit? You can’t even make any of this shit up. The fuckery that has already …

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Famous folksLetter

Dear Joel Osteen, Is Being a Sellout Shepherd Your Ministry?

It’s been a long while since I’ve written a sternly-worded letter. Clearly, I am overdue. I have been spurred to write one because of an interview that popular pastor, Joel Osteen, gave on the radio in October 2015 (5 months ago), where he basically placed a stamp of approval on Donald Trump, …

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Politics

The GOP Candidates Debate Entrance Fail is a Gift

All we have in this world of sin and frustrating election season is the ability to laugh at the absurdity of it all. None of this shit makes sense, and at this point, I’m almost convinced that we’re all being Punk’d. But knowing we’re not makes me wanna sit on …

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Politics

The Night of the 2016 Iowa Caucus Was Long and Treacherous

Yesterday was the highly-anticipated Iowa Caucus, where a small state with really white people somehow predict who the final nominees for the parties will be. And it’s the first caucus of the season and people try to win delegates and OMG I JUST FELL ASLEEP FROM TYPING THOSE SENTENCES. Long story short, …

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Land of Abandoned People
CultureFamous folks

The Land of Abandoned People Needs Citizens. Here are My Nominations

For years, me and my friends have been relegating people who’ve hurt us, made us angry or are just terrible human beings to an imaginary place called the Land of Abandoned People. There, you are subjected to watching the movie Gigli over and over again. When you tire of that, …

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Famous folksLetter

Dear Donald Trump, You’re a Dusty Degenerate

This week’s sternly-worded letter is truly deserved. If you don’t know why, then either you’ve been hiding under a rock or you’re related to Sarah Palin. Either one is not a good look. Let’s get into it. Dear Donald Trump, When you decided that you might be running for presidency …

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