I’m YoungOld and So Are You Thumbnail

One of my favorite people, Samantha Irby, always talks about how old she is. Last week was her birthday, so in honor of the day the world got slightly less shitty, I had to tell people how old I am. I’m “If I wear heels out in public, I got a pair of flats in [...]

Whose Petty Royalty Aunties Are These, Arguing Til They Passed Out? Thumbnail

According to the South China Morning Post, “Two women in Northwest China fainted from exhaustion after quarreling with each other for eight hours without eating or drinking, according to local media reports.” And there was picture evidence of it. And I laughed so hard that I almost choked on spit. Look at this: Look at [...]

Because the Only Thing Chip Readers are Good For is Embarrassing Us Thumbnail

Remember when chips were placed on our credit and debit cards? And financial institutions were all excited because this would make checking out much faster? And we were like “but I’m fine putting in my pin” and they were all “NO NO NO you are not. That takes too long and it’s not secure enough.” [...]

Mama Bolt Shade

There is no one who can bring you down to Earth better and quicker than your own mother. It seems that once you have a child, your shade savant abilities triples, and your gift of petty is enhanced. From the way moms can cut that look that will quickly make you sit down, to the [...]

Whose Blasphemous Kool-Aid Chicken Wings Are These? Thumbnail

There are times when I just KNOW that the devil is busier than a toddler when they first learn how to walk and they’re discover the real purpose of feet. I was minding everyone’s business and scrolling through Facebook when I stumbled upon the pic below, posted by NoWayGirl. I did that thing where you’re scrolling [...]

Uncle Bernie’s Hair was LAID at the DNC Thumbnail

Y’all know good and damb well that Bernie Sanders be leaving the house looking like he just got out from inside a dryer’s spin cycle. Hair be everywhichway and suit all wrinkled. He was on the campaign trail looking like you did after a particularly TURNT recess period. But last night at the Democratic National [...]

My Melanin-Deficient Readers Respond to Negotiate Terms of #BLAXIT Thumbnail

Yesterday, I published a post on what Black folks will take with us if we decided to make our exit (BLAXIT) from the United States. It was jumped off by Ulysses Burley III at The Salt Collective and basically, we are taking EVERYTHING awesome. Because we created/invented/brought them. My white readers realized that they will be [...]

#BLAXIT: More Things We’re Taking With Us If We Leave Thumbnail

This country is ungrateful as hell. You know good and damb well Black folks built this thing with our blood and sweat, literally. Now you wanna treat us like Starks at the Red Wedding and we do not appreciate it. If we decided to peace out and make our Black Exit (BLAXIT) like Brexit, they’d [...]